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A single pill of ectasy interacted with a pre-existing hidden disorder and fried my brain

afawk

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Oct 30, 2019
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6
I rolled my first and only time around 1 year and half ago. I wanted to try MDMA since a long time, and I only took 1 pill. I am a really responsible person, who has only done drugs few times, just for experience. I've done mushrooms once before, and it was a great experience, and smoked weed once a month or so, same for alcohol.

The ectasy experience was overwhelming in terms of sensory effects, I was basically overwhelmed in my vision and hearing, and don't remember much of the first 3 hours of rolling. It didn't even feel like MDMA as it is described, but felt more like a psychedelic trip. It had the empathy part though, especially when I exited the sensory overwhelm phase, so it must have contained MDMA. I also mixed some alcohol in it, like half a pint or something. During the morning had a terrible headache, but was to be expected. The friend who gave me the pill said he's been fine after a couple of days of numbness, and I assume the other people also did fine. The pill was from a trusted dealer and it was in Netherlands, where pills are generally good.

But for me that has been the beginning of hell. I've had extreme derealisation, brain fog, extreme chronic fatigue, visual snow, afterimages, eye floaters, strong tingling of hands and stiffness of fingers, strange feelings when falling asleep (feeling like limbs are moving and something is pushing me from inside the bed, but then it's nothing, just an hallucination). The chronic fatigue and brain fog are the worst parts, as they render me useless as an individual, especially for studying/working.
I've seen a neurologist and he's really experienced, he's diagnosed chronic migraines with aura but without headaches. The fact is that even before the experience, my life wasn't normal, as I used to sleep 10/12 hours a day, couldn't get out of bed easily and my productivity was really low because of this, both at uni or other activities. I thought that I was just lazy and didn't think of it as an issue, but in fact there was something going on that I didn't know of, chronic daily migraines. In fact, I had some other issues like chronic IBS that I couldn't really explain, even by experimenting my diet. Chronic IBS is also an effect of chronic migraines.

I've had these symptoms daily since a year and a half, everyday with persistent aura symptoms, which means I have migraines everyday, or I am in a constant migraine state. Chronic fatigues is horrible and I can't even go to the gym because of it, I've barely got the necessary energies to function. Things have improved since I've been prescribed tryciclic antidepressants to prevent the migraines, derealisation is gone, but then I had fucked up brain fog side effects from this medication, and had to bring it very low. Now I am taking a low dose of that and combining with a titrating dose of lamictal, which will reach prescribed dosages in a month and a half. It's been a really long journey to recovery, and I hope I will get out of it. In theory, if medications do what they're supposed to do, I should get out of this coming back fully 100%.

Think about it before trying this drug, it's literally a russian roulette, and by no means understimate it and think that it doesn't cause any brain damage. Only after the experience I realised it's destroying effects on the serotonin system, the new migraine aura symptoms that have been introduced since then will probably not go away in years unless I fix the problem through medications.

Have you heard stories like mine, just one/two pills frying brains? And my experience might be of help to people who are going through the same ordeal but do not know what they have, in fact I think only few neurologists would have diagnosed this as it is. My neurologist is really experienced and knowledgeful. This could be a CHRONIC MIGRAINE DISORDER.

TLDR: 1.5 years ago I took 1 ectasy pill, which was supposedly good, and fried my brain. Derealisation, brain fog, chronic fatigue, visual issues, tingling of hands, etc. since then.
Really experienced neurologist has diagnosed a chronic migraine without headache disorder, which was existing before the x experience. This could be what people in my same position have, but have been misdiagnosed by their doctors.
 
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How would you know how MDMA feels like if you never done or maybe you were speakin metaphorically, dunno. Neurologists to diagonse what exactly? to diagnose the MDMA damage? lol.

I can say this, constant migraines are a thing I used to experience in my sobriety phase and.. I am left with nightmares, I dream every fuckin night, horror shits which I think it's not that nice, isn't it? So.. you know, you have to be there for yourself when no one can. The thing is maybe you have mixed MDMA and some anti-depressants and.. I guess your system didn't know what was happening.
 
Well, you hear experiences of friends and people and read on Wikipedia, and you get an idea of what MDMA is like, isn't it that simple?

Second, if a brain is that dysfunctional, it makes more sense to see a neurologist first, then a psychiatrist if the neurologist says so.
Visual interferences cannot be caused by psychiatric conditions, a psychiatric condition would cause hallucinations, but visual snow and afterimages are signs that the brain is not functioning properly on an organic level.

I didn't mix MDMA and antidepressants as I wasn't taking it at the time, I started taking antidepressants after the MDMA damage to fix it, should be clear by my description.
Not really a constructive reply, are you okay?
 
''not really a constructive reply, are u..''

what? look man, I had a long day as maybe you and others had. I just got home 2hrs ago, I am gettin ready to take a shower, I saw my daughters today, gotta plan some business and am busy and so fuckin on, belive me I would like to just lay in my bed right now and sleep, I have 2weeks since I didn't slept. On topic, I think what you meant by that it's some overthinkin type thing that only you know why you mentioned it I was very clearly by what I said, I thought that maybe you mixed mdma and anti-depressants and your risk was automatically negatively increased. Visual snow isn't that rare, it's very common, you can Google it, that's why you have internet. If you got to those neurologist and you would like others to learn from this, to me this sounds like a Trip Report btw, as I was sayin, if you want others to learn from this, tell us what's written down there in your medical file. Isn't really that much to discuss here. Stay safe, keep the water at the bay.
 
''not really a constructive reply, are u..''

what? look man, I had a long day as maybe you and others had. I just got home 2hrs ago, I am gettin ready to take a shower, I saw my daughters today, gotta plan some business and am busy and so fuckin on, belive me I would like to just lay in my bed right now and sleep, I have 2weeks since I didn't slept. On topic, I think what you meant by that it's some overthinkin type thing that only you know why you mentioned it I was very clearly by what I said, I thought that maybe you mixed mdma and anti-depressants and your risk was automatically negatively increased. Visual snow isn't that rare, it's very common, you can Google it, that's why you have internet. If you got to those neurologist and you would like others to learn from this, to me this sounds like a Trip Report btw, as I was sayin, if you want others to learn from this, tell us what's written down there in your medical file. Isn't really that much to discuss here. Stay safe, keep the water at the bay.

No need for medical report, as it says literally "chronic migraines with aura", with no signs of demyelination from the MRI scan.
I'm just writing to ask if other people have gone through all of this for just one pill, and to bring in an idea of what those people might be suffering from, as it was diagnosed by my neurologist.

Again, you're not constructive, don't really know what your problem is. You're trying to be the doctor of the day but you're just embarassing yourself by writing nonsense... Please refrain from writing further nonsense misery.
 
Hi Afawk,

Sorry this happened to you. I just read an article recently about migraines without the headache part, and I thought it was very interesting.

Based on the information you provided, I don't think there is any way you can say conclusively that you consumed MDMA, or that MDMA was the cause of what happened to you.

Trusted dealers in trusted areas still get dirty pills. Ideally, you should be testing with multiple reagents and also sending to a lab before you consume. If you did not do those things, then you could have consumed anything.

Also possible your pill contained an extremely high and unhealthy dose of MDMA and you should have taken half rather than the whole pill, or that there was a toxic byproduct in the pill.

Since there are no test results, it is hard to say what really happened to you.

Based off what you are experiencing, I would recommend (based on personal experience) for you to also look at your vitamin levels. Do you have underlying deficiencies such as B12 or D deficiency that could be contributing to these issues? Numbness of the extremities can often coincide with B12 deficiency, for example. Do you take magnesium? You may want to consider chelated magnesium as well.

Best of luck to you.
 
A one off drug experince isn't going to fry your brain it might of made your more aware about your existing state. You probably had all this underlying issues and drugs did not cause them. Like the neurologist diagnosed you with is what you have i wish you the best migraines are awful i always use LSD to treat mine and seem to get keep them away for a month til they come back.
 
A one off drug experince isn't going to fry your brain it might of made your more aware about your existing state. You probably had all this underlying issues and drugs did not cause them. Like the neurologist diagnosed you with is what you have i wish you the best migraines are awful i always use LSD to treat mine and seem to get keep them away for a month til they come back.

It will actually, maybe not permanently damage your brain like an unhealable wound. However it will damage your brain just like a scar that has to heal.

If you had issues, and drugs magnify them and turn them into a new beast that is 10x worse than before, then yes the drugs did cause the new issue. If it's not the same as before, then its not the thing from before. If its new, bigger, badder, then its a new thing caused by the drugs.

Sure, there may have been something there before, but if the drugs amplified them and made them worse then yes the drugs did fuck you up.

It's rare, but a one off drug experience can fuck you up for years. I'm close to 2 years of recovering from a similar experience.

anxiety and extreme disorders cause your brain to change, the amygdala and hypothalamus in particular take a beating. If you develop a new issue, and it causes your brain parts to shrink and the ones you dont want to grow to begin growing, then it is causing damage to you. It might not be a scar and blood might not come out, but you suffer and feel it. So I think that is enough evidence that a one off drug experience can damage your brain. And again, its not permanent damage because it can be reversed, however not everybody does the work needed to reverse it so for some people it is permanent.
 
It sounds backwards, but working out is the best medicine for you. It may feel like you don't have the energy to workout, however working out actually gives you energy. It takes energy to workout, but you get more energy in return for it.

I went through a similar experience to you and it was close to a year before I began to workout, almost immediately I began to feel close to normal again.

Sprinting for 20 minutes in the morning proved very useful to me. Also you have to do it consistently, like everyday, for at least a couple months before you'll start healing. the very first day you find something that works, you'll feel better, however for its rewards to stay with you then you have to do it consistently. It's like building the foundation of a house, it takes many days of hard labor but if you finish the foundation you can build something on it that will be stable for decades to come. Right now, with the recovery, you are laying the foundation of your health for the coming decades. Its going to take a couple months of consistent effort to even begin having the bare bones of a foundation, it will take years before you have the rock solid foundation that can withstand the chaos of the world and not crumble. But, its worth it.

Whatever your recovery routine, you have to maintain it for a while before you start to see the results. I spent many months just doing a thing here or there, maybe like eating healthy but not working out, not going to sleep on time, not visiting friends, not pursuing hobbies and what brings me joy, etc.

Once I started to do all of my recovery techniques for a consistent period of time, recovery really began.

I workout regularly, eat healthy, found a better job, found a better appartment, started dating quality people, drink water regularly, meditate daily, journal frequently (although sometimes I go weeks without it), pray regularly, reflect regularly (very important to have reflection and meditation time, do not fall into the trap of reflecting when you should be meditating), I abstain from meaningless sex /one night stands / sex with people I don't love / porn and excessive masturbation, drugs in excess (I drink coffee when I want to, drink alcohol from time to time, smoke weed from time to time, but that is only recently when I began to recover).

There are more things I do but you get the point, I basically do everything within my power to recover. That is how much it takes to recover if you want full recovery. It takes 100% of your being, and you have to hate the anxiety and depression and fucked up shit or you won't have the energy needed to do the hard things like workout, abstain from sex, abstain from drugs, etc.

The more I hated being unhealthy, and the more I began to see which habits were creating unhealth within me, the more I began to stop them and recover.

If you hate something, then realize that the actions you are taking are what is causing what you hate, then you will stop doing them. Or at the very least, you will begin to feel guilt and shame about doing them, which effectivly lowers the pleasure you get from them, and when the bad habits are no longer as rewarding they are easier to quit.

anyways man, bottom line, recovery is fucking tough and it takes everything you have to recover. But it is possible, and its not a life long sentence for you to suffer as you are now. You can recover, all you have to do is put your mind to it and work for it. Eventually you will succeed. And you already know the consequences of not doing everything to recover, you'll just stay in the fucked up state you have already been in, and you know that isnt something you want. so deep down, logically, you know you want to recover. You just need to committ and make it happen.

oh, and I don't take medications, and i never took medications to recover. I did all the things I listed earlier and do more on top of that because I don't like medication (ive tried it before). I'm always exploring how to expand my power and reach my highest potential. This drug induced issue is just a stumbling block for me and I refuse to let it keep me down forever.
 
Hi Afawk,

Sorry this happened to you. I just read an article recently about migraines without the headache part, and I thought it was very interesting.

Based on the information you provided, I don't think there is any way you can say conclusively that you consumed MDMA, or that MDMA was the cause of what happened to you.

Trusted dealers in trusted areas still get dirty pills. Ideally, you should be testing with multiple reagents and also sending to a lab before you consume. If you did not do those things, then you could have consumed anything.

Also possible your pill contained an extremely high and unhealthy dose of MDMA and you should have taken half rather than the whole pill, or that there was a toxic byproduct in the pill.

Since there are no test results, it is hard to say what really happened to you.

Based off what you are experiencing, I would recommend (based on personal experience) for you to also look at your vitamin levels. Do you have underlying deficiencies such as B12 or D deficiency that could be contributing to these issues? Numbness of the extremities can often coincide with B12 deficiency, for example. Do you take magnesium? You may want to consider chelated magnesium as well.

Best of luck to you.

Hi, thanks for your reply and understanding.

Since I fried my brain, I have tried different supplements including vitamin D and magnesium. In fact, I have been told by the neurologist to take vitamin B2 and high doses of magnesium to prevent migraines, but they don't really work at all, so I have to take the strongest medications as my issue is really hard to beat.

My vitamin D levels are fine.
 
A one off drug experince isn't going to fry your brain it might of made your more aware about your existing state. You probably had all this underlying issues and drugs did not cause them. Like the neurologist diagnosed you with is what you have i wish you the best migraines are awful i always use LSD to treat mine and seem to get keep them away for a month til they come back.

Well I only had chronic fatigue before (used to sleep a lot) and IBS.

Apart from that, I had none of what I am living now. Had I not taken ectasy, my migraines issues would have gotten solved with low levels of medications, whereas now they're a beast really hard to beat. But at the same time, my neurologist might have not discovered that it is migraine aura, as he noticed the brain fog, derealisation, visual issues, which are part of the migraine aura, and that I did not have before the ectasy experience.
 
It will actually, maybe not permanently damage your brain like an unhealable wound. However it will damage your brain just like a scar that has to heal.

If you had issues, and drugs magnify them and turn them into a new beast that is 10x worse than before, then yes the drugs did cause the new issue. If it's not the same as before, then its not the thing from before. If its new, bigger, badder, then its a new thing caused by the drugs.

Sure, there may have been something there before, but if the drugs amplified them and made them worse then yes the drugs did fuck you up.

It's rare, but a one off drug experience can fuck you up for years. I'm close to 2 years of recovering from a similar experience.

anxiety and extreme disorders cause your brain to change, the amygdala and hypothalamus in particular take a beating. If you develop a new issue, and it causes your brain parts to shrink and the ones you dont want to grow to begin growing, then it is causing damage to you. It might not be a scar and blood might not come out, but you suffer and feel it. So I think that is enough evidence that a one off drug experience can damage your brain. And again, its not permanent damage because it can be reversed, however not everybody does the work needed to reverse it so for some people it is permanent.

This. You are so right!

My freaking issue is a beast so hard to beat, it used to be mostly chronic fatigue but it's been amplified hugely by that damn pill. I've been trying different medications / supplments, even now with relatively high dosage of lamictal and a decent dose of nortryptiline, my issues are still there, and I am kinda pessimistic about them getting solved 100% at all...
 
Had similar experience as you, just my dose was bigger and my symptoms were the brain fog, visual snow, anhedonia and extreme derealization.

2 years and 10 months later I'm left with bad short-term memory, that goes better from time to time.

Now, stop repeating that you've fried your brain. A lot of medical professionals believe it's impossible. (From single dose) MRIs don't show anything either. Yes maybe we've changed our brains(like hopefully temporary) and due to our unique conciseness we're making things worse with constant reassurensts of the symptoms, veryifing them.

If you don't stop telling yourself that there's something really wrong with you, I don't believe you'll start feeling better. I have a friend who had EXACTLY the same symptoms as you and now is perfectly fine and normal thanks to medications.

Antidepressants don't always work from the first time, need to try a few, give them time to work and .etc. And even if they don't work, I'm proof of getting better without medications, just few supplements. If my working memory improves, I'll be 1000% as before, if not even better. :)

I've started improving only when I've started accepting. You can try fighting, just as long you're not staying in the middle of the two
 
I had the EXACT same thing happen to me. I have vestibular migraines that had been misdiagnosed as sinus headaches for years. If I’d known I had this condition I never would’ve taken MDMA. I went from having symptoms a few times a year, to symptoms all day everyday.

Please get in touch with me via message. I’m sure we can offer each other a lot of support and advice.
 
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