steewith2ees
Bluelight Crew
At least it will be as long as folks posts are more entertaining than mine.
Either way Im awake, and after a long mad week I am actually looking forward to the weekend. I managed to stick to my guns yesterday and aside from the dose of 3 I had upon waking, I put it to use to get all the housework done so I could officially relax for the weekend. I had a second blast about 9am when I started to flag a bit after that it went away for the rest pf the day. Afternoon I did some shopping, half oz of lovely stinky po weed and 2 different brews of brown heroin.
Im seeing the doctor on Wednesday and my methadone is due to drop again to 50mls (come down 20 so far) - Im aware that I am now well below a blocking dose again and things are beginning to get real with my destox and rehab just coming into view on the horizon. With this in mind, I need to commit to sticking to my script now the dose is beginning to get so low, so unless I want to turn what should be a simple taper into a right trial, I am aware that I cannot use street heroin on top any more. I know that most folk will think 'stupid wanker - whats he doing buying gear then?' but I couldn't give a fuck. If I succeed in my reduction ->detox->rehab then there is some hope that I will never use heroin again and as such, with my selfish easter on the cards (im determined to have a nice weekend) I have bought a tidy amount as this is where we will have to part and as anyone whos ever been married to the stuff will know, its a love affair that often lasts a lifetime (and on the odd unfortunate occasion, defines the length of a lifetime as well) so Im going to use this final opportunity to say goodbye, probably tomorrow evening after the days entertainments have finished.
And as for the entertainments? With no friends to spend any time with it will be just me and my toys. My dads fat home theatre set up has been experiencing technical problems for a couple of weeks, but as part of yesterdays preparations I replaced the 3d blu ray player and am now ready to go. Plenty of PS4, and my film lineup centres itself around the most British of Easter traditions - Bond +++. Ive saved my copy of SPECTRE for exactly this purpose, so I can spend the weekend watching what we now know is the entire tenure of Daniel Craig as 007 - Casino Royale tonite, QOS tomorrow, Skyfall on Sunday and of course SPECTRE on Monday which Im looking forward to having a good look at as Ive only seen it once at the cinema. So films and PS4 - plus a final comprehensive drug stash covering most major drug subtypes, with the exception of a dissociate (Heroin - check / Weed - check / ONE rock of crack - check / Penny Acid - Check / 3fpm - check / Ecstasy - check / Benzos - check, chequered, chess and snakes and ladders). I doubt Ill be needing any more acid this week and pills are for the dancefloor but its nice to have the option and aside from an eye opener with my coffee, im going to lay off the 3-fpm as well as it dampens the effect of the weed if I get too pranged.
So, I know how pathetic this reads - stupid old junky brags about taking drugs on his own while watching telly, especially when then rest of you will be living actual lives, going to parties, seeing friends and family, surfing and bbq'ing (as far as our Antipodean board members are concerned), jumping out on planes after snorting 5 lines of BK-FK-DR-6 and so on and so forth. But as boring and uninspired as my Easter plans are, I personally feel 'sorted' for the weekend which is a rare thing. As a lapsed catholic with no car at present, I am unlikely to be able to fulfill my religious commitments (I should have been at church yesterday as, like Sunday, Maundy Thursday is a day of holy obligation) but I will be able to participate in my own postmodern version of going through the Stations of the Cross - at 3pm I will sit through 'The Passion Of The Christ' which is difficult enough to sit through at the best of times - viewed in 1080p makes this supposedly religious piece of torture porn even more difficult to watch. I have to put it on tho, despite the lapse in my catholicism I still feel obliged to make some sacrifice hence the POTC blu ray. It's the least I can do - the man actually had to go through it so we can all get into heaven. Im not starting a religious debate - Im simply passing on the 'Good news' as thats what Easter is about for those of certain faith, as much as its about eating as much chocolate as possible for the rest of you heathens.
Either way, whether your religious or not, have a good weekend and dont do anything I would consider a good idea.
As for me and my stupid junky behaviour, regardless of whether I have any religious faith left (I havnt explicitly said whether I have or not) isn't Easter about new life and perhaps, new beginnings?
Probably not, but one must live in hope regardless.
Happy Easter Bluelight. Remember to leave you tooth under the pillow for the easter bunny and use a good set of pliers if you have any difficulty removing it from your gob.
Stee
Either way Im awake, and after a long mad week I am actually looking forward to the weekend. I managed to stick to my guns yesterday and aside from the dose of 3 I had upon waking, I put it to use to get all the housework done so I could officially relax for the weekend. I had a second blast about 9am when I started to flag a bit after that it went away for the rest pf the day. Afternoon I did some shopping, half oz of lovely stinky po weed and 2 different brews of brown heroin.
Im seeing the doctor on Wednesday and my methadone is due to drop again to 50mls (come down 20 so far) - Im aware that I am now well below a blocking dose again and things are beginning to get real with my destox and rehab just coming into view on the horizon. With this in mind, I need to commit to sticking to my script now the dose is beginning to get so low, so unless I want to turn what should be a simple taper into a right trial, I am aware that I cannot use street heroin on top any more. I know that most folk will think 'stupid wanker - whats he doing buying gear then?' but I couldn't give a fuck. If I succeed in my reduction ->detox->rehab then there is some hope that I will never use heroin again and as such, with my selfish easter on the cards (im determined to have a nice weekend) I have bought a tidy amount as this is where we will have to part and as anyone whos ever been married to the stuff will know, its a love affair that often lasts a lifetime (and on the odd unfortunate occasion, defines the length of a lifetime as well) so Im going to use this final opportunity to say goodbye, probably tomorrow evening after the days entertainments have finished.
And as for the entertainments? With no friends to spend any time with it will be just me and my toys. My dads fat home theatre set up has been experiencing technical problems for a couple of weeks, but as part of yesterdays preparations I replaced the 3d blu ray player and am now ready to go. Plenty of PS4, and my film lineup centres itself around the most British of Easter traditions - Bond +++. Ive saved my copy of SPECTRE for exactly this purpose, so I can spend the weekend watching what we now know is the entire tenure of Daniel Craig as 007 - Casino Royale tonite, QOS tomorrow, Skyfall on Sunday and of course SPECTRE on Monday which Im looking forward to having a good look at as Ive only seen it once at the cinema. So films and PS4 - plus a final comprehensive drug stash covering most major drug subtypes, with the exception of a dissociate (Heroin - check / Weed - check / ONE rock of crack - check / Penny Acid - Check / 3fpm - check / Ecstasy - check / Benzos - check, chequered, chess and snakes and ladders). I doubt Ill be needing any more acid this week and pills are for the dancefloor but its nice to have the option and aside from an eye opener with my coffee, im going to lay off the 3-fpm as well as it dampens the effect of the weed if I get too pranged.
So, I know how pathetic this reads - stupid old junky brags about taking drugs on his own while watching telly, especially when then rest of you will be living actual lives, going to parties, seeing friends and family, surfing and bbq'ing (as far as our Antipodean board members are concerned), jumping out on planes after snorting 5 lines of BK-FK-DR-6 and so on and so forth. But as boring and uninspired as my Easter plans are, I personally feel 'sorted' for the weekend which is a rare thing. As a lapsed catholic with no car at present, I am unlikely to be able to fulfill my religious commitments (I should have been at church yesterday as, like Sunday, Maundy Thursday is a day of holy obligation) but I will be able to participate in my own postmodern version of going through the Stations of the Cross - at 3pm I will sit through 'The Passion Of The Christ' which is difficult enough to sit through at the best of times - viewed in 1080p makes this supposedly religious piece of torture porn even more difficult to watch. I have to put it on tho, despite the lapse in my catholicism I still feel obliged to make some sacrifice hence the POTC blu ray. It's the least I can do - the man actually had to go through it so we can all get into heaven. Im not starting a religious debate - Im simply passing on the 'Good news' as thats what Easter is about for those of certain faith, as much as its about eating as much chocolate as possible for the rest of you heathens.
Either way, whether your religious or not, have a good weekend and dont do anything I would consider a good idea.
As for me and my stupid junky behaviour, regardless of whether I have any religious faith left (I havnt explicitly said whether I have or not) isn't Easter about new life and perhaps, new beginnings?
Probably not, but one must live in hope regardless.
Happy Easter Bluelight. Remember to leave you tooth under the pillow for the easter bunny and use a good set of pliers if you have any difficulty removing it from your gob.
Stee
what you all planning for weekend them? Laxy, chilled out pig-out day or going clubbing, partying etc???
