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98% pure Carbon Monoxide & 5mg of Alprazolam

T

TheManWhoNeverWas

Greenlighter
Joined
May 15, 2010
Messages
1
I dont know if this is agients the rules or not, Frankly I'll be honest i did not read the rules because im very high right now and just want advice. I have chosen to end my life within hopefully the next day or two. I have aquired a large tank of 98% pure co (carbon monoxide) a mask, tubing, and 5mg of Alprazolam (Xanax). I plan on taking the 5mg of xanax, smoking a cig, putting on the mask (in a deserted area) so no one but myself will be injured by its toxic gas and waiting the 5 to ten minute for unctuousness then death in 15-40 minutes. Is this a fairly painless way to go? Please dont lecure me, I'm 26, i know what im doing. I'm not mentally disturbed and im not a child seeking attention. This is what i want, due to SIGNIFICANT financial loss and my brother passing away months ago in a fatal car accident, there is truely...nothing i want more then death. I just want opinions....Should i take more Xanax or is 5mg enough to relax me enough to do the deed so to speak. I have taken 2mg and i was asleep within an hour if that. So i think if i take 5mg, smoke a quick cig, then put on the mask and fall asleep the gas will kill me quite quickly without any pain or recollection of the events. The tank is just large enough to run for aprox. 1.5 hours so obviously there will be no one to turn it off, so i figured that size tank is the safest bet. My plan is to either do this in my shed (i live alone) and post notices on the shed and the house to call the police and not to enter the shed (because im certain my ex girlfriend will check on me when i dont answer her calls within a day or two) I dont want to hurt ANYONE physically, just myself. Does this sound like a good plan i have come up with? Once again, Please not suicide lectures or the suicide hotline number.
 
You know people are going to tell you not to do it and you still chose to post here which makes me think part of you wants to be talked out of it. Please just read through the suicide thread sticky at the top of this forum before you go and do it. It will give you some things to consider that perhaps you weren't thinking about before.
 
^^ I have to agree.


TheManWhoNeverWas, the only part of your post which is against the rules is asking for assistance with committing suicide, which is actually illegal. We can't help you, and in fact if anyone does try to help you with your suicide method I will remove their posts. We just can't do it man.

My main question is: What other family members and friends do you have? Your brother was killed in a car accident recently. How do you think your suicide is going to affect your family and the people around you? They're all dealing with the loss of your brother as well.

26 years old is still SO young, you've got so much ahead of you, so much time to make things right. I know you're hurting from your brother's death, but he wouldn't want you to take your own life because of what happened to him. He would be devestated if you did that.

What have you had in the way of therapy, medications, etc?

I'd love to hear back from you man <3
 
Although I cant relate to the amount of pain youre going through right now please dont go through with this. I dont even know you and im in tears after reading your post.

Please dont <3
 
I'm sorry to hear about your brother, I can't even imagine. I can relate to the financial loss, my house burnt down and I lost everything. You don't want to hear it, but I'm going to say it anyhow, please reconsider your plan. Get some grief councling, see it some meds might help you get your mind in a better place. Life can change in a blink of an eye, meaning your life can turn around a hundred percent for the better. I hope you realise just how many people are clinging to life right now, hang on and things WILL get better.
 
Yesterday I went to one of my best friends funeral. He also decided that his life was not worth living and he jumped off a bridge. No one ever saw it coming. His father said something very profound. He said" there is a name for you when your wife dies, there is also a name for you when your parents die, but there is no name when one of your children die because that is never supposed to happen." Don't do it. Your life will get better, I promise you that.
 
I don't think the xanax will be enough to sedate you to do this.

The better alternative is seeking out therapy. I know you must be distraught, I am SO sorry for your brother's loss! Car accidents can be severely tragic. :(

But please reconsider.
 
As much as this is the last thing you want to hear, just at least hear us out. As others have said, you really have a long, long life ahead of you where things can change so, SO drastically. If you think that you're at the absolute lowest you can be, the only way to go is up. Counseling can really work, even if you don't think it will. Being able to try to talk about your difficulties can really help out, and other people outside of the situation can possibly provide insight on how to recover. Money comes and goes, and I personally know people who have gone from rags to riches, and others from riches to rags. In the end, everything will balance out and you will make it out of your financial troubles. It won't necessarily be easy, but after you've beaten this, you will be a stronger person than ever, looking back on this, unable to contemplate how you even thought of making this decision. I've lost family before, and I know it hurts. It really does. However, with time things will go in the right direction and you will find a solution. When my older sister was going through chemotherapy and needed to find a wig, unable to find one that made her feel normal again, not seeing a sick, dying person in the mirror every time she looked at herself, the owner of the wig company told my sister herself, "there is always a solution". My sister has since recovered and has a full head of real, beautiful hair.

As low as you feel you are, try your absolute best to keep your head up. Find an outlet that you can take out your anger and sadness on. Music is fantastic, as is exercise. I can't say I've been in the same situation as you before, but I've definitely had my moments where I felt there was no point to live. However, now I'm in a great mindset living very happily. Life is a very dynamic thing, and you can turn situations around more easily than you might think.

I really, really hope with all my heart that you reconsider what you're doing. I understand that you don't want to hurt the ones around you, and only want to take your life without hurting others, but the emotional pain inflicted on your loved ones will be tremendous if they have to go through your suicide. As others have mentioned, your parents having two sons die like that will be absolutely devastating.

I really mean what I'm saying, and from the bottom of my heart I wish all the best to you, and hope you decide to change your mind about what you're thinking of doing. My heart goes out to you and your family.
 
We're here for you, brother. Please don't do this.

It will hurt many more than you realize. You say you don't want to hurt anyone else, just yourself, but it will hurt others. It always does. It will hurt many. If there is a Heaven, then it is entirely likely that you will have this on your conscience for eternity. I can't believe in an afterlife that is simply an easy-way-out from the pains we suffer now. You are doing more to hurt yourself and others than you actually realize. Please don't think of this as an attack; I'm just trying to help you realize the consequences of a serious mistake.

By asking this question on a public forum, it is clear that you are asking for our help backhandedly. The answers to your question are likely available on any number of online sources that are not interactive, so by asking us this, I mean, do you really want to do this? You might think you do, but if you did, well, I question why you're here in the first place. Please get back to us. Tell us about your life.

Let us help you. <3
 
You "don't wanna hurt anyone physically"? That makes no sense at all.

Think about what you said. I'm sure your parents would rather be tazed in the ass a thousand times than put up with the pain you're considering causing them right now.

Physical pain is NOTHING in this life, psychological pain lasts forever, and has such a longer lasting profound effect on people. When you rid yourself from this planet, you rip a piece of everyones heart who knew you, right out of their chest.

Jesus Christ, I'd rather lock myself in a room with a beehive for 6 years than put up with any of my family members taking their own life. If you are really depressed, and really suicidal, take yourself to a clinic and sign yourself in. Thats exactly what happened to me when I tried to kill myself. I also know more than 1 person who slipped out of CO inhalation and wound up with brain damage from it. You def don't want that.

Go admit yourself to a clinic voluntarily. I use to see drs on the street but being in a clinic I'd see 3 dr's a day, they will try a million different meds just to find one that works for you. A clinic will dedicate themselves to exhausting every resource they have to make your life better, that is THEIR JOB.
I thoroughly suggest you give them a shot.

And 1 fact I will tell you about suicide, it is NOT as easy as the directions say. About 98% of people in the clinic who tried killing themselves managed to screw it up somehow. As simple as something may seem, there are logistically about 100 million ways to screw it up, I speak from experience on that.
 
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the gas will kill me quite quickly without any pain or recollection of the events
Click to expand...

How will you recall anything when you are dead?

Brother, you seem to have your mind set but please do read the thread that was recommended before you do this and think about the effect this will have. There are different ways to get out of your situation, hopefully you can find one and not have to go through this.

Peace.
 
I think you need to heal yourself internally. Find a little enlightenment. Try the beliefs of Buddhism.

We have an undecided amount of years on this planet to begin with. You're thinking of ending yourself over green-colored money? Over a death of a loved one? No, I think you're wrong. You may have mental problems.

Granted, it's the death of your blood line. And I will not tell you that you have to get over it in two months or twenty years. Everyone grieves differently. However, the route you're choosing is a purely non-sensical one that, to be honest, is just stupid.

You can love your brother all you want. You can love your parents all you want. Did you know that, in some point in your life, they have to pass? They have to return to dust as we came? It's natural man. It's the process of life. It sounds like you have an inability to deal with death and life as we know it.

As for the financial problems, who cares? Like I said, you're going to kill yourself over some paper? Get a job, any job (McDonald's counts) and work at $7.25 an hour until you've chipped away your debt or whatever problems there are. The world makes you think you should be able to have money and go out and party and have a nice car and a nice house. Yes, it's great, but it's not realistic and it's not necessary. If we're not OK on the inside then we're just putting up a materialistic front on the outside. Find yourself to truly be happy. It starts on the inside.

One more thing about your brother. He died a couple months ago? OK. Be sad or be angry or be depressed in the moment. However, what's being sad today going to change about your brother dying? Nothing. Change that to happiness. The way he went out wasn't happy, no. However, I guarantee you he had some good times in his life. Be happy for those. Be happy that he no longer has to deal with suffering like we do.

Bottom line is you need to find peace within yourself. These problems will pass for you as they do everyone. Suicide is not the answer. Sure, you can do it, but it's literally ending quite possibly the only life we get, as we know it. I won't call it selfish or self-centered, I'll just call it absolutely stupid.

You'll be ok.
 
why kill yourself? your problems dont even sound bad to me. your borther died? ok, that sucks. but losing loved ones is a part of life and not a reason to kill yourself. it's something that everyone has to deal with at some point. and financial problems? it's only money. you can always make more and as long as you can enjoy the process of making it, youre already doing better than quite a lot of people who have large amounts of it.
 
I have to agree that I don't think the xanax will suffice.

Your poor parents. losing 2 sons in such a short space of time..... :\
 
< edit>You are not thinking of others, suicide is a very selfish act and harms those around you very badly.

You can cause mental anguish that can last a lifetime, you should reconsider and try to get into therapy.
 
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yooo, bro i know this is no matter to joke but please dount use my name to kill yourself its very...hurtfull:( aha. anyway, dude jus get some help you can get through this life will get better you just need to give it some time. trust me bro.
 
Keep this in mind: Many people who attempt to commit suicide are often left alive after their failure, and many of those people suffer severe consequences because of it: brain damage, paralysis, and a slew of other nasty things. You could very well fail in your attempt and have to suffer for the remainder of your life because you no longer have the ability to function well enough on your own to try to end your life again.

I tried to kill myself once and I am quite grateful that I failed and came out of it with my health intact. You may not be as lucky. From that experience, I learned that it is much better to live and survive through tough times than to try to throw my life away.

Your reasons for wanting to die do not seem like good reasons to me. So you are having difficulties with money and you lost a loved one. How does it make any sense to wish to kill yourself because of that? Lesser people than you have survived through much worse and have found more constructive ways of dealing with their issues. The issues that you are facing now can be remedied. The suicide method that you propose could very well leave you suffering from brain damage for the rest of your life.
 
I can't imagine what losing a brother must be like. As much as me and my bro don't get along sometimes truth be telt i do love the bastard and id hate to lose him. So im very sorry for your loss thats rough man.

But suicide is not the answer here and it never is actually. Your parents will be losing 2 sons if you kill yourself. Also im sure theses some way to work out your financial problems there always is.

Please don't off yourself man.
 
I hate to say it but usually when I see/hear someone talking about suicide, it usually means they want help, not that they really wanna do it.
I had 2 friends commit suicide over the 27 years I've been alive, and niether one ever even mentioned that they were depressed/suicidal. One of them was actually always smiling/laughn/joking and would have been the last person I could have ever expected to take their life.

I think its usually those type of people who wind up following through with it. I know theres people who talk about it everyday, and DO wind up doing it, but from my experience if you're truely ready to take your life, you're NOT going to ask a group of people how to do it "properly".

Thats a load of bs.
They're looking to be talked out of it.

As far as the OP, it looks like he disappeared right after he made this, and I'm also curious as all hell where he aquired a tank of CO from?
Can someone else enlighten me onto this?

Carbon monoxide is a poison, and I don't think it really has any industrial/medical purposes. Just from my background in chemistry I can't recall a single place who ever sold tanks of CO.

Oxygen sure, carbon dioxide sure, ammonia sure, propane or natural gas sure, nitrous oxide sure, nitrogen ok, but carbon monoxide? Who the hells sells tanks of CO?
Maybe I'm wrong just sounds very weird to me.
 
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