psychoblast
Bluelighter
A friend sent me this experience which I have cut and pasted to share with you:
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Wow, I have new respect for this drug as a tool for insight, basically cutting through all the crap and letting our animal selves (lizard brains?) run free. Or at least that is how it felt while I was on it. My insights might have been drug-induced delusions.
Scenario: Me and a girl I know casually (G) decide to try 5-meo-dipt (foxy) purely as a sex enhancer. I weigh 200, G weighs 120 lbs. I've done it 8 times or so, this is her first time. We both skipped lunch and dropped at 5pm to have pretty empty stomachs (we'd had breakfast).
5pm, drop 8 mg each at my house, just planning to hang out and have sex. After about a half hour, take some hits off a joint that I have trouble rolling, getting hard to concentrate, feeling distracted by lots of things. This is a typical foxy effect for me, kind of like being stoned but worse. You walk into a room and forget why you went in.
5:30pm, finally get the joint rolled, fingers trembling, starting to feel some energy rushes that seem to head mainly to the groin. We both take some hits. No real noticeable effect, maybe helped the drug keep coming on. The music (trance) was sounding very good to me.
5:45pm, I don't want to rush into things, since I expect 6 hours of this, but I am feeling antsy, lots of nervous energy. I think of getting close ot G, go stand behind her chair, she stands and faces me, but it seems she is not feeling sensual just different, nervous, a little queasy, she goes to the bathroom and comes back no longer nauseous (I don't know if she threw up or what).
I start to lightly touch her, and that's when the foxy takes over. For both of us. Whatever my intentions were of taking things slow, or hers of putting off anything physical, we are suddenly on each other like animals, clutching, grinding. Dry humping never felt this good, like wherever we come together seems to be were we are having sex. We pull each other close like we are trying to merge into one.
We get some clothes out of the way, leave others. Every couple minutes, part of my mind says this is too early, too soon. We should separate, take a break, have a smoke and a drink and then slowly resume. But every time I get to the point of almost acting on that, some light touch between us erases it and I am totally animal, not thinking just pulling her close.
For the next hour or so, I thought we should take a break maybe a dozen times, each time, the thought was there and gone in a flicker. The foxy would not let that happen. And I knew that foxy gets stronger as the trip goes on...where would this end?
Anyway, I take her wildly, from behind, her standing, leaning over a couch arm. All I can say, is very animalistic. The harder the better, except that we could be gentle, at least not for very long. We were pushing against each other like you expect from the wildest aphrodesiac.
Now here is the REALLY cool thing about foxy sex. Every single thing she did. And I mean everything was EXACTLY what I most wanted her to do, and vice versa. If I would suddenly slow down and go gentle, that would drive her crazy...and then when I would go all animalistic and clutching, that would drive her crazy too. And every move she made, every way she behaved, was just right. I have two explanations. First, that our bodies communicate in some instinctive way and the foxy put us in some amazing primal state of being perfectly in tune with each other. Second, and more likely, the foxy just made everything feel right so no matter what the other person did, we THOUGHT it was the best that they could be doing at that time.
In my mind, I felt like we were acting exactly and perfectly in tune, with no words spoken, like it was a dance...the ultimate, most perfect dance. I'll come back to that later.
So, I had no trouble with erection or orgasm...In fact, most of the sex just felt so incredibly passionate, it was as good as orgasm and the feeling of nearing orgasm was better than orgasm... And I didn't let myself finish because we still had hours to go.
7:00pm: Things slow down. Somehow, in getting ourselves onto a futon we'd knocked over remotes and the music had stopped playing. Now, our sex was like a perfect dance TO that music. The music added so much to it. And the way we had sex depended on the music. Trance, could be fast or light. It was like the music would set the tone for the sex and as the music hit a peak so would our sex. And we were always moving in perfect beat to the music. So the silence was bothersome. I was still stupid from the foxy and had real trouble figuring out what was wrong. In fact, I couldn't. I had to give up. But that break convinced me to separate...take a breather...because it was hard not finishing and we had hours to go.
7:15pm, get a little high again, didn't notice too much. I got music to play through the digital cable, electronica. But the girl wanted to hear some grungy rock (Presidents of the US, actually). I try, but fail, to figure out what is wrong with my stereo again (Foxy and fiddling with electronics do not mix). I finally put the cd in my computer and it starts to play and it sound good. The grunge guitar is like a sexual noise playing on my spine.
I went to have a cigarette while it played, but then just felt too aroused, went over to her and as soon as we touched, we were lost in each other again. It was like two magnets put far enough apart, they don't move towards each other at all, but put them together and they are stuck. I lost any control, as did she, and we were writhing again, seemingly more animalistic (if that was possible) because of the music... When that "peaches" song came on...forget about it. It was like riding a physical wave towards orgasms that mirrors the course of the music, tied together. But really, the whole experience, the whole time, felt amazingly good and orgasmic. I was still holding off, but it still felt amazing.
7:45pm: Okay, I get too close to orgasm and finally break free for a break, a smoke. It occurs to me to try scratching on my turntables to the CD. I think the scratching noises will sound very good, very sexual. I start doing it, and it is good, but not really going with the CD. So I turn off the CD and start playing trance records and doing some scratching with them. I'm doing it better than I ever have before, just so in touch with the rhythms, beat matching has never been so easy (I'm new at this). I even get a couple glow sticks (I wasn't planning on being so raver-like, but I had this energy), and I start dancing with them, which I can do really well on foxy.
Okay, the girl wants me back next to her, so I put on a longer trance record, and go lie next to her. Not really intending to do much (I'm kind of out of breath and alterately chilled and hot and I just want to try to control all the different things I'm feeling, not add more to it.) But once I'm next to her, we touch, and its all over. Back to this amazing, perfect sexual place where we are dancing exactly in step in some impossibly perfect way you can never do with your lover in real life.
Somehow we got into 69... Oh My God! Just totally different, merging like with sex, only different and in some ways more intimate and powerful. I got as much sexual pleasure from my lips on her lower region as from her lips on me. And we were still communicating perfectly... Normally this would be foreplay, but I didn't want to stop... And even if she had stopped going down on me, that didn't matter. What I wanted to do was keep kissing and licking her because it was so amazingly erotic. And she must have felt similarly, because she kept me in her mouth.
Interestingly, at a point I starting moving my mouth away, in larger circles, to her lower stomach, upper thigh. The exact opposite of what I would normally do (meaning start out and move in) yet it seemed to feel more sexual this way, to me and her. Because, really, our whole bodies were sexual organs at this time.
A couple breaks to change records, then give up on that and switch to cable music again.
8:30pm: Time is moving VERY slow. It seems like it has been 6 hours or more, but it has been half that. I need another break to avoid climax. The drug is still getting stronger, at least for me. I have trouble concentrating on anything. Getting a drink of water is very complicated. I have another cigarette and we start talking.
This is where I realize this is more than a sexual drug, more than a "dumb" drug. Our conversation is a dance. A perfect dance. We are not even talking about the same thing, yet we are. I can barely follow her sentence, I'll finally manage to get a gist of it, and answer in an obscure way I'm not sure she'll get, but she does. Or she fits it into HER idea of what we are talking about. Sometimes I think we may be having two totally different conversations, just thinking the other person is saying exactly what fits perfectly, so we are in tune. Or maybe we were that in tune.
In our conversation, on one level we were just talking about preferences, personal anecdotes. On another level we were talking about the meaning of life. To pass your dna onward. Which you do by sex. The whole point of it all, we agreed, was sex. We agreed everyone was a sexual freak and deviant, just some would admit to it more. At one point, we were talking about thinking itself. And she said she was always thinking. And I said, Except when we are having sex we were not thinking...because all thinking is focused on getting you to have sex, so the only time you take a break from thinking is when you are having sex. And it seemed true at the time. (Note, this seemed to be another thing about foxy sex that was unique, totally losing yourself in action and reaction without thought..usually I do think somewhat during sex, but foxy drove all that out.)
Anyway, the conversation was totally trippy, I was seeing all these patterns, revelations, all just making me more and more aware of how animalistic and sexual humans are. I felt like I had lifted some curtain we drape over our animal selves and had seen what it was all about. And I thought how our conversation was a dance. I'd say something metaphysical, she'd say something about a movie, and it would fit. Both conversations were all about the same thing. The meaning of life, how I spent my weekend, they fit in the same conversation perfectly.
Anyway, at one point, one of us said something that we both found funny and we just started laughing and couldn't stop. Then I pointed out that laughter wasn't thinking or sex. So you can either be thinking, having sex or laughing. That brought more laughter, almost giddy and uncontrollable.
I had a number of amazing insights swirling through my head, one dissolving into the next, as we talked about life, sex, love... Sometimes the insights seemed overwhelming, giving their own semi-orgasmic sensation. It was really as enjoyable as the sex (well, maybe not quite that good, but still amazing).
Okay, enough talking, she is feeling horny again (or still)... I'm not sure how I feel, but she starts sucking on a finger, and it feels as good as a blow job, or better. All my focus is on her lips on that finger, just incredible. However, there are some erection problems, I think due to the foxy being trippier now, interfering with stuff like that. Also, as the foxy has gotten trippier, the sex still feels great, but it is like the sexuality bypasses my genitals. Wherever she touches, rubs, kisses, sends a charge of near orgasmic pleasure to my brain without stopping by the cock to get it hard, which is unfortunate. But still feeling great, writhing and clutching and caught up in it. Eventually I get physically aroused enough to being and after some more great sex, I let myself climax.
I would say the sex is better earlier, when you don't have the erection problems (some viagra might have solved it, and then I think that sex towards the end would have compared favorably with at the beginning.) After I came, I went to get a drink and a snack and the whole time I had little after waves of orgasm for the next 5-10 minutes.
Food tasted very good, grapes, bread, cheese. We talked some more, still seeming like a dance. She said she was feeling pretty normal again. I was still tripping hard. So you can't judge just by body weight how this will affect you.
10pm: We then watched American Beauty, since she had never seen it, and it was very beautiful and funny to watch when you are in trippy state of mind.
Then she left, I started reading a book (some vampire semi-erotic type thing--not my usual taste, but I hadn't realized what it was when I got it--and the sexual imagery I finally seem to get. I had previoulsy resented the way the author would describe some non-sexual occult encounter in some sexual / sensual way, like a vampire bite on the neck, but now I could see it, understand it. Then the book described a sexual encounter that was impossibly perfect, as they usually are described in books...except that I felt I could relate because it didn't sound any better than what I'd had that afternoon.
Fell asleep, still feeling trippy, around 1am with the help of half a xanax. That foxy really hung on to me this trip.
That's it. I've done foxy at nightclubs, at concerts, at strip clubs. But that is not really where it is at. It is about one on one closeness, losing yourself in another person. I used to think foxy was just okay, something different... But now I think it rivals ecstasy, they just both have to be used in the right manner. It really turns you into the most primal, sexual animal if you let it. You might not even realize it. You could be standing a foot away from your lover, both on foxy, and both feeling jittery, trippy, a little queasy, NOT horny. But just try to touch each other, a light kiss....You will just be consumed by it. Or at least, we were.
Next day, woke up without any after effects, though feeling pretty upbeat and happy about it all. On reflection, I think that maybe there was some truth to my animal insights, but some falseness in that they were tinged with the whole sensuality of what I was experiencing, so I am not sure I came to objective truths. Out of the whole time, the best part was probably the 69...total bliss.
Your mileage may vary.
FYI, I did see patterns on the tile floor breathing and plenty of CEVs, when we weren't have sex. When we were having sex, I had my eyes mostly shut, but I can't describe what I saw, it was all adding to the perfect sexuality of the moment.
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Sounds like my friend enjoyed himself...
[ 15 October 2002: Message edited by: psychoblast ]
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Wow, I have new respect for this drug as a tool for insight, basically cutting through all the crap and letting our animal selves (lizard brains?) run free. Or at least that is how it felt while I was on it. My insights might have been drug-induced delusions.
Scenario: Me and a girl I know casually (G) decide to try 5-meo-dipt (foxy) purely as a sex enhancer. I weigh 200, G weighs 120 lbs. I've done it 8 times or so, this is her first time. We both skipped lunch and dropped at 5pm to have pretty empty stomachs (we'd had breakfast).
5pm, drop 8 mg each at my house, just planning to hang out and have sex. After about a half hour, take some hits off a joint that I have trouble rolling, getting hard to concentrate, feeling distracted by lots of things. This is a typical foxy effect for me, kind of like being stoned but worse. You walk into a room and forget why you went in.
5:30pm, finally get the joint rolled, fingers trembling, starting to feel some energy rushes that seem to head mainly to the groin. We both take some hits. No real noticeable effect, maybe helped the drug keep coming on. The music (trance) was sounding very good to me.
5:45pm, I don't want to rush into things, since I expect 6 hours of this, but I am feeling antsy, lots of nervous energy. I think of getting close ot G, go stand behind her chair, she stands and faces me, but it seems she is not feeling sensual just different, nervous, a little queasy, she goes to the bathroom and comes back no longer nauseous (I don't know if she threw up or what).
I start to lightly touch her, and that's when the foxy takes over. For both of us. Whatever my intentions were of taking things slow, or hers of putting off anything physical, we are suddenly on each other like animals, clutching, grinding. Dry humping never felt this good, like wherever we come together seems to be were we are having sex. We pull each other close like we are trying to merge into one.
We get some clothes out of the way, leave others. Every couple minutes, part of my mind says this is too early, too soon. We should separate, take a break, have a smoke and a drink and then slowly resume. But every time I get to the point of almost acting on that, some light touch between us erases it and I am totally animal, not thinking just pulling her close.
For the next hour or so, I thought we should take a break maybe a dozen times, each time, the thought was there and gone in a flicker. The foxy would not let that happen. And I knew that foxy gets stronger as the trip goes on...where would this end?
Anyway, I take her wildly, from behind, her standing, leaning over a couch arm. All I can say, is very animalistic. The harder the better, except that we could be gentle, at least not for very long. We were pushing against each other like you expect from the wildest aphrodesiac.
Now here is the REALLY cool thing about foxy sex. Every single thing she did. And I mean everything was EXACTLY what I most wanted her to do, and vice versa. If I would suddenly slow down and go gentle, that would drive her crazy...and then when I would go all animalistic and clutching, that would drive her crazy too. And every move she made, every way she behaved, was just right. I have two explanations. First, that our bodies communicate in some instinctive way and the foxy put us in some amazing primal state of being perfectly in tune with each other. Second, and more likely, the foxy just made everything feel right so no matter what the other person did, we THOUGHT it was the best that they could be doing at that time.
In my mind, I felt like we were acting exactly and perfectly in tune, with no words spoken, like it was a dance...the ultimate, most perfect dance. I'll come back to that later.
So, I had no trouble with erection or orgasm...In fact, most of the sex just felt so incredibly passionate, it was as good as orgasm and the feeling of nearing orgasm was better than orgasm... And I didn't let myself finish because we still had hours to go.
7:00pm: Things slow down. Somehow, in getting ourselves onto a futon we'd knocked over remotes and the music had stopped playing. Now, our sex was like a perfect dance TO that music. The music added so much to it. And the way we had sex depended on the music. Trance, could be fast or light. It was like the music would set the tone for the sex and as the music hit a peak so would our sex. And we were always moving in perfect beat to the music. So the silence was bothersome. I was still stupid from the foxy and had real trouble figuring out what was wrong. In fact, I couldn't. I had to give up. But that break convinced me to separate...take a breather...because it was hard not finishing and we had hours to go.
7:15pm, get a little high again, didn't notice too much. I got music to play through the digital cable, electronica. But the girl wanted to hear some grungy rock (Presidents of the US, actually). I try, but fail, to figure out what is wrong with my stereo again (Foxy and fiddling with electronics do not mix). I finally put the cd in my computer and it starts to play and it sound good. The grunge guitar is like a sexual noise playing on my spine.
I went to have a cigarette while it played, but then just felt too aroused, went over to her and as soon as we touched, we were lost in each other again. It was like two magnets put far enough apart, they don't move towards each other at all, but put them together and they are stuck. I lost any control, as did she, and we were writhing again, seemingly more animalistic (if that was possible) because of the music... When that "peaches" song came on...forget about it. It was like riding a physical wave towards orgasms that mirrors the course of the music, tied together. But really, the whole experience, the whole time, felt amazingly good and orgasmic. I was still holding off, but it still felt amazing.
7:45pm: Okay, I get too close to orgasm and finally break free for a break, a smoke. It occurs to me to try scratching on my turntables to the CD. I think the scratching noises will sound very good, very sexual. I start doing it, and it is good, but not really going with the CD. So I turn off the CD and start playing trance records and doing some scratching with them. I'm doing it better than I ever have before, just so in touch with the rhythms, beat matching has never been so easy (I'm new at this). I even get a couple glow sticks (I wasn't planning on being so raver-like, but I had this energy), and I start dancing with them, which I can do really well on foxy.
Okay, the girl wants me back next to her, so I put on a longer trance record, and go lie next to her. Not really intending to do much (I'm kind of out of breath and alterately chilled and hot and I just want to try to control all the different things I'm feeling, not add more to it.) But once I'm next to her, we touch, and its all over. Back to this amazing, perfect sexual place where we are dancing exactly in step in some impossibly perfect way you can never do with your lover in real life.
Somehow we got into 69... Oh My God! Just totally different, merging like with sex, only different and in some ways more intimate and powerful. I got as much sexual pleasure from my lips on her lower region as from her lips on me. And we were still communicating perfectly... Normally this would be foreplay, but I didn't want to stop... And even if she had stopped going down on me, that didn't matter. What I wanted to do was keep kissing and licking her because it was so amazingly erotic. And she must have felt similarly, because she kept me in her mouth.
Interestingly, at a point I starting moving my mouth away, in larger circles, to her lower stomach, upper thigh. The exact opposite of what I would normally do (meaning start out and move in) yet it seemed to feel more sexual this way, to me and her. Because, really, our whole bodies were sexual organs at this time.
A couple breaks to change records, then give up on that and switch to cable music again.
8:30pm: Time is moving VERY slow. It seems like it has been 6 hours or more, but it has been half that. I need another break to avoid climax. The drug is still getting stronger, at least for me. I have trouble concentrating on anything. Getting a drink of water is very complicated. I have another cigarette and we start talking.
This is where I realize this is more than a sexual drug, more than a "dumb" drug. Our conversation is a dance. A perfect dance. We are not even talking about the same thing, yet we are. I can barely follow her sentence, I'll finally manage to get a gist of it, and answer in an obscure way I'm not sure she'll get, but she does. Or she fits it into HER idea of what we are talking about. Sometimes I think we may be having two totally different conversations, just thinking the other person is saying exactly what fits perfectly, so we are in tune. Or maybe we were that in tune.
In our conversation, on one level we were just talking about preferences, personal anecdotes. On another level we were talking about the meaning of life. To pass your dna onward. Which you do by sex. The whole point of it all, we agreed, was sex. We agreed everyone was a sexual freak and deviant, just some would admit to it more. At one point, we were talking about thinking itself. And she said she was always thinking. And I said, Except when we are having sex we were not thinking...because all thinking is focused on getting you to have sex, so the only time you take a break from thinking is when you are having sex. And it seemed true at the time. (Note, this seemed to be another thing about foxy sex that was unique, totally losing yourself in action and reaction without thought..usually I do think somewhat during sex, but foxy drove all that out.)
Anyway, the conversation was totally trippy, I was seeing all these patterns, revelations, all just making me more and more aware of how animalistic and sexual humans are. I felt like I had lifted some curtain we drape over our animal selves and had seen what it was all about. And I thought how our conversation was a dance. I'd say something metaphysical, she'd say something about a movie, and it would fit. Both conversations were all about the same thing. The meaning of life, how I spent my weekend, they fit in the same conversation perfectly.
Anyway, at one point, one of us said something that we both found funny and we just started laughing and couldn't stop. Then I pointed out that laughter wasn't thinking or sex. So you can either be thinking, having sex or laughing. That brought more laughter, almost giddy and uncontrollable.
I had a number of amazing insights swirling through my head, one dissolving into the next, as we talked about life, sex, love... Sometimes the insights seemed overwhelming, giving their own semi-orgasmic sensation. It was really as enjoyable as the sex (well, maybe not quite that good, but still amazing).
Okay, enough talking, she is feeling horny again (or still)... I'm not sure how I feel, but she starts sucking on a finger, and it feels as good as a blow job, or better. All my focus is on her lips on that finger, just incredible. However, there are some erection problems, I think due to the foxy being trippier now, interfering with stuff like that. Also, as the foxy has gotten trippier, the sex still feels great, but it is like the sexuality bypasses my genitals. Wherever she touches, rubs, kisses, sends a charge of near orgasmic pleasure to my brain without stopping by the cock to get it hard, which is unfortunate. But still feeling great, writhing and clutching and caught up in it. Eventually I get physically aroused enough to being and after some more great sex, I let myself climax.
I would say the sex is better earlier, when you don't have the erection problems (some viagra might have solved it, and then I think that sex towards the end would have compared favorably with at the beginning.) After I came, I went to get a drink and a snack and the whole time I had little after waves of orgasm for the next 5-10 minutes.
Food tasted very good, grapes, bread, cheese. We talked some more, still seeming like a dance. She said she was feeling pretty normal again. I was still tripping hard. So you can't judge just by body weight how this will affect you.
10pm: We then watched American Beauty, since she had never seen it, and it was very beautiful and funny to watch when you are in trippy state of mind.
Then she left, I started reading a book (some vampire semi-erotic type thing--not my usual taste, but I hadn't realized what it was when I got it--and the sexual imagery I finally seem to get. I had previoulsy resented the way the author would describe some non-sexual occult encounter in some sexual / sensual way, like a vampire bite on the neck, but now I could see it, understand it. Then the book described a sexual encounter that was impossibly perfect, as they usually are described in books...except that I felt I could relate because it didn't sound any better than what I'd had that afternoon.
Fell asleep, still feeling trippy, around 1am with the help of half a xanax. That foxy really hung on to me this trip.
That's it. I've done foxy at nightclubs, at concerts, at strip clubs. But that is not really where it is at. It is about one on one closeness, losing yourself in another person. I used to think foxy was just okay, something different... But now I think it rivals ecstasy, they just both have to be used in the right manner. It really turns you into the most primal, sexual animal if you let it. You might not even realize it. You could be standing a foot away from your lover, both on foxy, and both feeling jittery, trippy, a little queasy, NOT horny. But just try to touch each other, a light kiss....You will just be consumed by it. Or at least, we were.
Next day, woke up without any after effects, though feeling pretty upbeat and happy about it all. On reflection, I think that maybe there was some truth to my animal insights, but some falseness in that they were tinged with the whole sensuality of what I was experiencing, so I am not sure I came to objective truths. Out of the whole time, the best part was probably the 69...total bliss.
Your mileage may vary.
FYI, I did see patterns on the tile floor breathing and plenty of CEVs, when we weren't have sex. When we were having sex, I had my eyes mostly shut, but I can't describe what I saw, it was all adding to the perfect sexuality of the moment.
---------------
Sounds like my friend enjoyed himself...
[ 15 October 2002: Message edited by: psychoblast ]
