whataboutheforests
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2010
- Messages
- 1,349
My most recent 4-AcO-DMT trip turned out to be the most valuable psychedelic experience of my life. It was Wednesday and I had nothing to do that night or the next day. I’ve been dealing with some depression recently and a general discontent with life and I believed a highish dose of 4-AcO-DMT could help me sort some things out. For the past couple of months I’ve been way too addicted to cannabis, and pretty much failing at school, work, and a social life. I smoked a bit prior to dosing but I was mostly come down when I took the dose. I had never taken this chemical orally before, my first trip consisted of insufflating around 15 mgs and mixing in 2c-I, cannabis, and alcohol. I wanted this trip to be cleaner and more introspective. I decided to trip by myself at home. I eyeballed a dose of 20 mgs and wrapped it up in a paper and swallowed it. I regret this now, but at the time it seemed like a good idea to snort a tiny amount right after swallowing the first dose to get things going. My logic was that the small bump would ease me into the more intense trip when the larger dose would hit me, but looking back I think I should have just stuck with the first dose. The second dose was around 6-8 mgs up the nose. I left another bump of the same size out for later if I needed it. (little did I know I was underestimating the potency of this substance)
The trip came on extremely fast. Within five minutes I felt my mind enter the trip space and I get a very anxious, heart pounding rush. It was not pleasant at all and I started having second thoughts about what I was in for. Slight visuals were already forming. The wood grain on the door across from me was starting to stretch and swirl. I wrote down some brief notes during the first hour and by the time the second dose hit me, I was tripping too hard to type. During the first 10 minutes, I experienced this strange feeling of panic. I can liken it to the feeling you get when you realize you did something wrong or made a huge mistake. I felt really strange like I should NOT have decided to trip but the feeling began to pass after about 20 minutes. I was still coming up WAY faster than I thought I would and I was at a +++ 15 minutes after my first dose. It definitely didn’t seem like more than 6-8 mgs, (less in fact) but I was tripping so hard so quickly that it must have been more. (or maybe the oral dose was coming on super quickly too, I only had 1 small meal earlier in the day)
The visuals were steadily increasing (beautiful swirling patterns) and 25 minutes into the trip a friend texts me. This seriously throws my mood off because it was a girl I’d been wanting to hang out with for a while and I felt really bad about myself that I was tripping balls alone in my room instead of out having a social life. Bad thoughts started to consume me until the oral dose hit me and I became distracted by the most amazing light show of my life.
The second hour of this trip was by far the most psychedelic experience of my life. My entire room started swirling and melting. I looked at my pulsating hands stretch and grow bigger in amazement. I kept seeing swirling lights everywhere, mostly pink and green in the corners of my room and I kept thinking there was a disco ball sparkling somewhere. The body high was orgasmic, it felt very MDMA-like. I got the craziest sense of wellbeing. The phrase “this is perfect” kept repeating in my head. I felt extremely content and I closed my eyes and tried to stay in that moment forever. I seriously never wanted that feeling to end, it was like rolling off some good MDMA but better. The rush was extremely intense and the visuals were by far the strangest and coolest I’ve ever seen. I kept feeling a surge of intense positive energy in my brain, like a weird zapping flushing feeling. I attempted to watch part of an episode of arrested development and just couldn’t stop laughing. The audio hallucinations I experienced blew my mind. I started hearing music that wasn’t there and I felt like the entire world was just white noise or something. Music was unrecognizable, even my favorite songs. It almost sounded like everything was underwater and my two speakers weren’t synced right and playing the same song at different speeds. I found it annoying that music didn’t sound good to me. Maybe it’s just me, but nothing beats music appreciation with cannabis. MDMA is good to, but for some reason music doesn’t appeal to me while tripping. It felt like I couldn’t focus on it. I completely lost my sense of time here too, and I watched the first part of Stay Gold at the peak and I felt like I was controlling space and time and the movements on the screen. I was also soaked with sweat at this point in the trip.
About an hour after the oral dose hit me, I started becoming more functional and my first thought was to smoke some weed, to make it more intense again. However, I wanted to hold off and smoking until later because a lot of times I feel like cannabis ruins/dulls the trip for me and just turns it into the same cannabis high I experience every day. Because the trip was kind of spur of the moment, I had no idea what I was doing really. I tried going on the internet but I was still tripping so hard that all the text was dancing across the page and I randomly clicked through screens restlessly until suddenly my mind snapped.
This part of the trip is really hard to remember, even later that night I tried to remember what made my trip go bad and I can’t really pin point a specific event; one moment I was laughing and feeling in diving peace with the universe and then next I was standing in the corner crying. I saw my life from an entirely different perspective and I was utterly disgusted. I realized I hated my self and how my life is going at the moment. Every feeling I had been repressing every day by smoking came out during the trip. The terror/panic was overwhelming. I found myself standing in the corner of my room completely lost in mind. The worst part about it was I knew if I smoked I would instantly feel better but I kept telling myself not to, which was a good decision, because as I sat there for what felt like hours with my mind racing I really decided I needed to make some changes in my life. I struggled at first, when the trip decided to confront me with these issues but eventually I decided to let them into my thoughts. It was a very cleansing experience. I felt miserable at the time though, but I realized that I need to make myself happier more without smoking. It was a pretty shitty feeling, realizing that cannabis is the only thing that gives me pleasure in life these days and how addicted I am. Wake up call for sure. It was the most hellish 2 hours of my life. My mind was anywhere but the present, it was a strange state of mind.
After 3.5 hours, I started to regain a sense of reality and decided I had tortured myself long enough and it was time to smoke. I smoked a bowl out of my bong and this instantly put me back in a good place. I chilled out and listening to music and enjoyed the psychedelic stoned feeling, there was still some visuals and I was definitely still tripping but I was functional. I thought a lot about what I had just gone through and felt good that I had dealt with these things that had been bothering me for so long. The rest of the trip was a lot better, it was a more relaxed sedating high and I almost felt silly for losing complete control earlier. I continued to smoke and after 6-7 hours I slept fine. The next day I felt GREAT. In fact it’s been a week now and I’ve felt a lot more optimistic about life. At the worst part of the trip I was literally begging myself to feel normal again but looking back, this was actually the best trip I could have had. It was an experience that I actually learned from and took away from. Thinking about what I wanted out of the trip could have helped me a bit but I tend to block out responsibilities and put off figuring it out until the last possible second. Psychedelics, especially 4-AcO-DMT are really just a mirror. This experience allowed me to see myself in a new way. I also got into an argument with a friend who claimed I had a bad trip because I ate this research chemical and not real mushrooms. I tried to tell him that it was my mind that made the trip bad, not the chemical but he wouldn’t listen. I don’t regret the experience at all, I will definitely use this chemical again, it is a great introspective tool.
The trip came on extremely fast. Within five minutes I felt my mind enter the trip space and I get a very anxious, heart pounding rush. It was not pleasant at all and I started having second thoughts about what I was in for. Slight visuals were already forming. The wood grain on the door across from me was starting to stretch and swirl. I wrote down some brief notes during the first hour and by the time the second dose hit me, I was tripping too hard to type. During the first 10 minutes, I experienced this strange feeling of panic. I can liken it to the feeling you get when you realize you did something wrong or made a huge mistake. I felt really strange like I should NOT have decided to trip but the feeling began to pass after about 20 minutes. I was still coming up WAY faster than I thought I would and I was at a +++ 15 minutes after my first dose. It definitely didn’t seem like more than 6-8 mgs, (less in fact) but I was tripping so hard so quickly that it must have been more. (or maybe the oral dose was coming on super quickly too, I only had 1 small meal earlier in the day)
The visuals were steadily increasing (beautiful swirling patterns) and 25 minutes into the trip a friend texts me. This seriously throws my mood off because it was a girl I’d been wanting to hang out with for a while and I felt really bad about myself that I was tripping balls alone in my room instead of out having a social life. Bad thoughts started to consume me until the oral dose hit me and I became distracted by the most amazing light show of my life.
The second hour of this trip was by far the most psychedelic experience of my life. My entire room started swirling and melting. I looked at my pulsating hands stretch and grow bigger in amazement. I kept seeing swirling lights everywhere, mostly pink and green in the corners of my room and I kept thinking there was a disco ball sparkling somewhere. The body high was orgasmic, it felt very MDMA-like. I got the craziest sense of wellbeing. The phrase “this is perfect” kept repeating in my head. I felt extremely content and I closed my eyes and tried to stay in that moment forever. I seriously never wanted that feeling to end, it was like rolling off some good MDMA but better. The rush was extremely intense and the visuals were by far the strangest and coolest I’ve ever seen. I kept feeling a surge of intense positive energy in my brain, like a weird zapping flushing feeling. I attempted to watch part of an episode of arrested development and just couldn’t stop laughing. The audio hallucinations I experienced blew my mind. I started hearing music that wasn’t there and I felt like the entire world was just white noise or something. Music was unrecognizable, even my favorite songs. It almost sounded like everything was underwater and my two speakers weren’t synced right and playing the same song at different speeds. I found it annoying that music didn’t sound good to me. Maybe it’s just me, but nothing beats music appreciation with cannabis. MDMA is good to, but for some reason music doesn’t appeal to me while tripping. It felt like I couldn’t focus on it. I completely lost my sense of time here too, and I watched the first part of Stay Gold at the peak and I felt like I was controlling space and time and the movements on the screen. I was also soaked with sweat at this point in the trip.
About an hour after the oral dose hit me, I started becoming more functional and my first thought was to smoke some weed, to make it more intense again. However, I wanted to hold off and smoking until later because a lot of times I feel like cannabis ruins/dulls the trip for me and just turns it into the same cannabis high I experience every day. Because the trip was kind of spur of the moment, I had no idea what I was doing really. I tried going on the internet but I was still tripping so hard that all the text was dancing across the page and I randomly clicked through screens restlessly until suddenly my mind snapped.
This part of the trip is really hard to remember, even later that night I tried to remember what made my trip go bad and I can’t really pin point a specific event; one moment I was laughing and feeling in diving peace with the universe and then next I was standing in the corner crying. I saw my life from an entirely different perspective and I was utterly disgusted. I realized I hated my self and how my life is going at the moment. Every feeling I had been repressing every day by smoking came out during the trip. The terror/panic was overwhelming. I found myself standing in the corner of my room completely lost in mind. The worst part about it was I knew if I smoked I would instantly feel better but I kept telling myself not to, which was a good decision, because as I sat there for what felt like hours with my mind racing I really decided I needed to make some changes in my life. I struggled at first, when the trip decided to confront me with these issues but eventually I decided to let them into my thoughts. It was a very cleansing experience. I felt miserable at the time though, but I realized that I need to make myself happier more without smoking. It was a pretty shitty feeling, realizing that cannabis is the only thing that gives me pleasure in life these days and how addicted I am. Wake up call for sure. It was the most hellish 2 hours of my life. My mind was anywhere but the present, it was a strange state of mind.
After 3.5 hours, I started to regain a sense of reality and decided I had tortured myself long enough and it was time to smoke. I smoked a bowl out of my bong and this instantly put me back in a good place. I chilled out and listening to music and enjoyed the psychedelic stoned feeling, there was still some visuals and I was definitely still tripping but I was functional. I thought a lot about what I had just gone through and felt good that I had dealt with these things that had been bothering me for so long. The rest of the trip was a lot better, it was a more relaxed sedating high and I almost felt silly for losing complete control earlier. I continued to smoke and after 6-7 hours I slept fine. The next day I felt GREAT. In fact it’s been a week now and I’ve felt a lot more optimistic about life. At the worst part of the trip I was literally begging myself to feel normal again but looking back, this was actually the best trip I could have had. It was an experience that I actually learned from and took away from. Thinking about what I wanted out of the trip could have helped me a bit but I tend to block out responsibilities and put off figuring it out until the last possible second. Psychedelics, especially 4-AcO-DMT are really just a mirror. This experience allowed me to see myself in a new way. I also got into an argument with a friend who claimed I had a bad trip because I ate this research chemical and not real mushrooms. I tried to tell him that it was my mind that made the trip bad, not the chemical but he wouldn’t listen. I don’t regret the experience at all, I will definitely use this chemical again, it is a great introspective tool.
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