TDS 3 weeks clean from opiate and now this?!

[newbiecodone]

ok now I don´t know if this is the proper place to post this but I just go arround in my room smoke weed listen to music and stare to the monitor or lay in bed and I cant help it but think about yesterday events with a massive potato in the neck feeling of sorrow and sadness. My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday on her birthday party where I was the sober designated driver ready to do everything for her I quit opiates thanx to her she was a great motivation she is too good for me intelligent one year older we go to the same university we study pharmacy.... she is in 3rd grade me in 2nd due to some fuckups in my life.We know each other since the end of ellementary school we allways had a thing for each other anyway we were friends with benefits a long time until our graduation year when we got toghether for real like a proper couple I was allways afraid of that but it was cool for 3 years until yesterday and all these events just make me want to take opiates in ideal situation but I cant get those anymore in any form but I can get good amphetamine and even though I hate it it would give me life energy to go out face everybody go to our music studio with my friend and make some beats but I dont want to use any hard drugs again I learnt the lesson and just when I quit them bam my girlfriend ends it... I dont even know what I want to read in your responses I guess I just wanted to share because right now I feel that I cant live out another year in the same university city campus everithing with my ex.... I just want to go away somewhere else and forget about everything and everybody I know.(sorry english is not my main language)

 

[Erikmen]

I´m sorry to hear that. This is painful but you´ve gotta find some thing else for motivation.
Is this a real breaking up, or maybe some time off? I´m only saying that because 3 years is a long time.
I don´t know if that will make you feel better but she might be going through the same shit in some other level, vulnerable and all.

 

[newbiecodone]

she was drunk and tells me that she wants to stay friends in this morning she wrote me an sms if Iam up and if we could talk tommorow I said yes she sad she doesnt want me to be sad and I know that she is vulnerable but I feel that only thing that could make me better is time or the tommorow conversation we are going to have I have a bad feeling she wants to move on from me but its hard for her too but wants to initiate it but maybe Iam wrong and we could end up together again but I dont want to be too naive anyway thnx for the kind words

 

[herbavore]

Breakups are so painful. I understand how you want to run away or go back to opiates (and run away in your head) but look at this as a life test. You get to develop new muscles as you weather the rejection by someone. In the end, if you stay with your feelings and go through them--not run from them--and let them naturally pass, you will be so much stronger inside yourself and ready for a new relationship when one comes along. Remember not to see rejection as something wrong with you. People change and grow apart for so many reasons. Stay away from using anything and try to get involved with new things at school so that you are staying active and are around new people.

 

[wanting]

I'm just 3 weeks off opioids, also. If your withdrawal was anything like mine, you went through hell...and you probably weren't easy to be around. Despite having been supportive, she may be exhausted from the process of going through it with you. It would be nice to think that she just needs a break from taking care of you, and now that you are clean, you won't need that level of care again. It's something to think about, anyway. Regardless of how the relationship goes, you're on a better path now for yourself. Good luck with everything!

 

[newbiecodone]

so today we are going to meet and talk even though we chat all day today on social sites and it looks promising but Iam prepared for the worst and I got through the weekend without a relaps of anykind so thats good I guess.
Wanting: we are both on a better path now and we are lucky to be here sober anyway best of luck to you too
Herbavore: you were right its the 2nd day from the breakup and I feel a lot better in my mind I can relate to what you are saing about the inner strenght and even though its too soon I get what you are talking about I have been busy yesterday in the studio and we had a good time with my friends made some beats and life goes on you know thankyou all for your advices

 

[Evil0ner]

I know exactly what you're going through. I'm 4 weeks clean off opiates today. After being on them for 8 + yrs straight over 10 in total. My mind and body it's still not close to where I though I would be. And it's been tourture on the relationship. She isn't and never was a user. Never done any drug other than herb. So she doesn't comprehend what I'm going through. I've told her over and over what's going on with me physically and mentally and she just can't seem to get it. She is taking it really bad, and sees it as a reflection on how I feel towards her which couldn't be further from the truth. The simple fact is I can't be there for her like she needs me too until I get my mind and body in check. It's been very hard on me because emotional things were always my super triggers to use. I tend to run away from emotional things and would use to forget. But that's not possible because I have a naltrexone implant in me. So I'm forced to deal with emotions like I haven't in years and on top of that all the depression that come with recently getting clean... Sometimes I just wish I could run back to but I know I can't for the next few months at least. This is been the hardest thing I have ever done!