(3-MeO-PCP / 22 mg) - First trial - The Biphasic Dissociative

[TheAppleCore]

(Credit goes to our Jamshyd for first describing 3-MeO-PCP as a "consistently biphasic dissociative".)

Yesterday I had my first encounter with 3-MeO-PCP.

Very interesting compound. The most significant observation I will make, in comparing it to MXE, is that it's much more "serious" and less recreational, although it seems to have greater power as a therapeutic tool.

I took it intranasally. First I started with a cautious dose, ~2 mg. I waited around half an hour, didn't feel anything. Sniffed ~4 mg. Waited another 45 minutes, effects seemed mild, sniffed another 4 mg. Et cetera. By T + 2.5 hours, I had insufflated a total of 22 mg. It crept up on me very insidiously. I kept taking more and more, because the dissociation was so transparent. I was being affected without even realizing it, as though the lens that 3-MeO-PCP was using to distort my perception was crystal clear. By the time the final 6 mg hit, however, I realized that I was thoroughly altered.

At first there was no enjoyable or interesting effect whatsoever -- the primary symptom was that my intellect was essentially completely destroyed, forcing me to act and make decisions purely on a primal, instinctual level of thought. Not fun, but rather frightening, like losing an appendage. I remember describing the drug as "satanic" to a friend through instant-message. I did begin to enjoy the immersion it granted me when playing a computer game, but after a little while, the hectic gameplay became overwhelming, so I instead decided to go on a walk.

As I was making my way through the suburbs toward the local wilderness reserve, I was almost paranoid that I was incapable of handling myself in the outdoor world. I was consciously telling myself things like, "When you get to the street corner, Apple, DO NOT keep walking, but turn right." as a compensation for my apparent mental handicap. By the time I got down into the canyon, I was experiencing an emotional roller coaster. I remember, first I was very excited by all of the possibilities and opportunities that were being presented to me at this stage of my life. Then I became incredibly frustrated that things didn't seem to be moving along fast enough, that I didn't seem to be making enough tangible progress toward realizing these possibilities, and I began to cry. It felt like I was being deliberately teased, tortured by my creator. All of these wonderful, tempting gems and jewels were being dangled right in front of my nose, but I just didn't have the motivation or organizational skills to reach out and snatch them. It occurred to me that the sum totality of existence is the doing of a single being that powerfully loves itself, but hates itself just the same -- God and Satan were two sides of the same coin, and it was inescapable.

Then, around halfway through my walk, began the most interesting phase. A powerful calming of my mind, and an unprecedented softening of my anxiety disorder. I can't recall a single, previous moment in my life that I was so completely relaxed. Without the constant chatter of anxious or paranoid thoughts, the magical glow of the twilit canyon shone deeply into my consciousness, and resonated with my soul. Suddenly I was inspired with a hypothesis for a mathematical function that might be used to describe the effect that a psychoactive drug has on a particular psychological variable, in the subject. As soon as I got home I immediately took out a pad of graphing paper and began to try to work out the exact expression. My calculus is pretty rusty, so I haven't developed the function yet, but I'm hoping that some day it can be tested in a study.

The rest of the evening was filled with fantastically deep conversations with friends, free of any social anxiety. At some points, I became so emotionally involved in a conversation that I had to fight back tears. The cherry on top of the whole trip was the extremely vivid, eidetic, hypnagogic imagery that I saw as I was falling asleep. Some of it resembled things I've seen on DMT flashes.

 

[psood0nym]

Nice report, Apple. I definitely identify with the emotional side of this one (it's emotional in a more 5-HT psychedelic kind of way than any other dissociative IME). So if you had it to do over again what dose do you think you'd use? When I first used this stuff it was before MXE existed and before getting a hold of a bunch of ketamine (not chronic use at all, but still 3Xs a week or so for a summer -- also went through around 5 grams of MXE over maybe 15 months). My highest dose of 3-MeO-PCP was 11 mg IM and I never imagined taking it over 15 mg IM. I wonder how much I'd need now (usually do 90 mg over 5 or 6 hours if I'm spending the night with it -- same as when I started MXE so I think any mild tolerance I have is from K). Do you feel like you have any tolerance to MXE?

 

[TheAppleCore]

So if you had it to do over again what dose do you think you'd use?

Well, it would depend on what I was aiming for. If I just wanted to spend the day in a wonky way, for a fun break from sobriety, I would probably use no more than 14 mg. But then again, if recreation were my aim, I would use MXE. I would consider taking 22 mg again some day, especially if I were looking to explore the weirder, edgier side of dissociation, or if I wanted to repeat the anxiolytic comedown.

When I first used this stuff it was before MXE existed and before getting a hold of a bunch of ketamine (not chronic use at all, but still 3Xs a week or so for a summer -- also went through around 5 grams of MXE over maybe 15 months).

How much/quickly did tolerance develop through this usage pattern?

Do you feel like you have any tolerance to MXE?

No. I use it at moderate dosages approximately once per week.

 

[psood0nym]

^When I first started K I’d get nauseated if I moved around even at just 50 mg IM. In other words I was more sensitive to dissociatives (also DXM) than most. Years later I got a bunch and used it at maybe 150 - 250 mg (mixed snorting and IM) three, sometimes four, nights a week during a whole summer – mostly for “non-holing” uses (never holed off K alone, even at 250 mg IM). Due to a suspected physiological change over the intervening years since starting as a K virgin, or perhaps because of acclimation through frequent low dose use, the nausea ceased to be an issue and K got much more pleasurable and trippy. My tolerance increased 70 – 80 percent or so compared to at the start of the summer and has remained there since, even when I tried it again after six months or so of not using K. So it doesn’t even take that much using to develop a noticeable tolerance. I think maybe this persistent tolerance from K makes me slightly less sensitive to MXE (and probably now 3-MeO-PCP, too) than other relatively infrequent dissociative users who’ve not used K at this frequency.

So yeah, I wouldn’t worry about MXE increasing your physical 3-MeO-PCP tolerance if you put a week or so between your last period of frequent MXE use and it, but ketamine use may very well (and for a long time, maybe permanently).

 

[TheAppleCore]

^ Interesting. In the interest of preserving my low tolerance to dissociatives, I'll probably stick with the once-per-week rule. Probably healthier for the bladder and wallet to use as little of these substances as possible to achieve the desired effect.