Pfafffed
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2015
- Messages
- 1,847
Experience:
Lots of different RC, classical, and oddball psychedelics
Set/Setting:
Large breakfast around 8AM, well-slept but tired from a little stomach inflammation from a cup of coffee. Pre-dosed with 6 drops lemon oil, 1 tab magneusium malate, and 15-20mg buccal CBD. Friend is grieving the loss of a friend today. He takes a higher dose that could not be determined, but is probably around 15mg, as the scale wouldn't stop vacillating between 12 and 18mg, mostly between 15 and 17. I plan to vape some EPT later during the plateau and after the first orgasm. I had wanted to take mescaline today (and had also, strangely, considered DOC) but I ran out of time after running errands. 2C-T-2 is a less emotionally risky space than brigesii anyway, and I'm not sure about my san pedro/torch potion dosage.
Report:
12:41 Take dose on empty stomach, although it feels full. It's cold as hell outside, but sunny and with bright blue skies. I feel both grimey and cold, so I'm running a hot bath.
12:46 Alerted almost immediately, but disregarded it. Now, with the little flutteriness of excitement and anticipation in my chest I know it was genuine.
1:17 I'm at a +/-. If there has been any development, it has been subtle.
1:23 Onset. I'm at a +.
3:00 Good level, seemed too weak earlier, but was only developing into this peak. Pleasantly visual, empathogenic, ego softening, some insight, minor tactile enhancement, minimal nausea, no stimulation/cramps/gas, mid-peak.
3:20 Ate an almond butter sandwich, some milk, and an amazing pear. Glad I didn't give in earlier and take a booster. This has developed nicely, almost to a +++. I had a couple moments of anxiety as I realized that I was going to be tripping much harder than intended, but eventually I gave over to it and the music. I bought the ticket, I may as well enjoy the ride. I developed an expansive attitude towards the space and decided to welcome it and surrender. There is a bit of stimulation and jaw tension, but nothing bad. I recognized that I can't easily tell the difference between stimulation, euphoria, and anxiety. I decided that I would interpret the sensation as euphoria or as some neutral equivalent. Visuals take a while to develop, mostly cloudiness. I think they would be spectacular at higher doses, but I don't want to go there. I get the usual rainbow tight traced concentric neon lines, but they're not frequent. Nausea still at bay. Music sounds very enveloping and rich, and is very helpful. It's not overwhelmingly engrossing, as music can be on some psychedelics, but I'm glad it's been there to guide me. Silence is also good. The cold against my skin feels sexually pleasurable, although that's where the erotic stops for me, having had sex twice earlier.
~ 5:25 Experience has been much stronger than expected, marked by intellectual and emotional openness. I think surrender and listening to music would have been just fine and quite rewarding (and plenty deep), but given that my friend was grieving I wanted to be around to be supportive, so I only dove deep for an hour or so here and there. Building a lego set would have been impossible, as we had planned. My friend was having a strong experience as well, but didn't find it to be useful when engaged with, always transporing them back into the past where there was nothing useful to be gained. It was disconnected, fragmented, so my friend decided to focus on gaming. I didn't want to waste the experience with something so directed, preferring to surrender to wherever it took me. This experience felt more distinct from mescaline than prior experiences. Vision was patchy with blurriness. Visuals were slow to develop, but progressed in complexity. The ceiling textures rippled and undulated, breaking into tryptamine purple and fuschia tinted patterns somewhat like polynesian tattoos, jostling and bobbing around. This would likely be stunning at higher dosages, but that's not what I'm here for. The message has been one of being in the moment, bringing attention back into the experience that I'm having and away from preoccupation with the future.
~ 6:30 My friend had a glass of wine, so I made up a batch of micronized kava (1tbl 11yr waka). This was super helpful, calming muscle tension I hadn't even noticed, although the taste was dire and it was a good thing that I had 100% cranberry juice to kill the taste, and some non-alcoholic apple cider to kill that taste.
~ 7 Descending or plateau, not sure. Not at peak anymore. Started yawning and developing some gas. Had planned to vaporize some EPT with mescaline to regain my libido, but the 2C-T-2 essence-space advised me against that. Eventually, I found myself feeling mental stillness and clarity, but also quite sad. Not a sad connected to anything, more like the idiosyncratic sadness that MDMA gives me. It think that may be 2C-T-2's MDMA-like properties, as my friend commented on the amazing body high, how everything felt good, even the touch of a plate sitting on their legs. I had no body sensation other than chilliness at this point, while my friend felt really warm. Against the guidance from earlier, I vaped some EPT. This was not great. It did not bring back pleasant body sensations or libido or optimism and joy. It did blunt the sadness, but also the clarity of the comedown/plateau. I lost all emotionality - didn't feel moved to smile or frown. It was simply stoning, like a sour tryptamine tail without the sour-weirdness. It was not unpleasant, but it was not pleasant, either. It kicked me into a different, less functional space than my friend, which was a drag. I was not able to social like a good human anymore. We made it work, though. The EPT either caused or coincided with some fairly uncomfortable gas pain. I made another batch of kava and had some hinga-shtak, which eventually helped.
~ 9 My friend was fully down, exhausted, and retired to bed, falling immediately to sleep. I still felt like I was at least at a light ++, stimulated, and far from sleep. It's possible that I was just feeling the effects of the kava, but I'm inclined to think that it was residual 2C-T-2 and maybe EPT (seeing as that kept me up late just a few day earlier.)
~ 12 Slept easily after a couple beers
Overall, this was not an objectively good experience, but my attitude was positive throughout, transforming it into a subjectively good experience. Seeing this side of this material was really interesting. It's definitely deep and valuable for me, really good stuff. It would have been better if I could have engaged with it on my own terms without the need to care for someone else while in my profoundly altered state. It felt a little long, with nowhere near the pleasurable quality of the rectal and insufflated experiences I had had before. Still, that length allowed the space to open and deepen much more than the somehwhat shallower, shorter experiences I'd had with other ROAs. It felt different, not better. More complex. I could definitely press the dose higher, but I think there are few reasons for me to do so with this material, particularly given how the side effects and stimulation can be unpleasant at higher dosages. Less is more here, I feel.
I feel good the next day, maybe just a hair emotionally unguarded. Sleep was satisfying, and I woke rested to my surprise. My friend feels melancholy and emotionally...something today. Perhaps raw or unguarded or just put through the wringer. It doesn't seem too bad, and would be understandable even in the absence of the experience.
Addendum:
For the next seven days, I found it hard to integrate some of my insights around the futility of many of my pleasures. I realized with an emotional and intellectual immediacy that many of my pleasures weren't so much pleasure as relief from being released from the discomfort of desire...and that that desire was self-generated and self-inflicted. What point, then passion, if it is self-generated suffering? Why make myself suffer so that I can be released from suffering, like finding a cigarette relaxing because when really its just withdrawal is anxiogenic. That created a wash of strange existential discomfiture that I didn't know what to do with, and that came alongside resurgent depression. This seemed strange, as 2C-T-2 in the past (mostly other ROAs) has been a relief to depressive symptoms, never a cause of it. I couldn't decide if this was due to the addition of EPT, due to the higher dose and longer duration of its serotonergic action this time, or if it was due to the need to integrate the difficult truth of the experience. I wanted to ride it out, but after a few days I recognized that I couldn't afford to grapple with depression while supporting a grieving friend. I started introducing mesembrine, St Johns wort, N-acetylcysteine, and other supplements/drugs that complemented without interacting dangerously, which I responded to immediately. That supported the idea that it may just be serotonergic in origin. I made sure I slept a lot, and started exercising and meditating daily. On the seventh day, I had a breakthrough regarding what I needed to process, and was able to integrate it. I discontinued depression supplements that day with no difficulty. I don't know if either the EPT or the higher oral dose were responsible, but I'll be avoiding either in future 2C-T-2 experiences.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_2ct2
substancecode_phenethylamines
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
Lots of different RC, classical, and oddball psychedelics
Set/Setting:
Large breakfast around 8AM, well-slept but tired from a little stomach inflammation from a cup of coffee. Pre-dosed with 6 drops lemon oil, 1 tab magneusium malate, and 15-20mg buccal CBD. Friend is grieving the loss of a friend today. He takes a higher dose that could not be determined, but is probably around 15mg, as the scale wouldn't stop vacillating between 12 and 18mg, mostly between 15 and 17. I plan to vape some EPT later during the plateau and after the first orgasm. I had wanted to take mescaline today (and had also, strangely, considered DOC) but I ran out of time after running errands. 2C-T-2 is a less emotionally risky space than brigesii anyway, and I'm not sure about my san pedro/torch potion dosage.
Report:
12:41 Take dose on empty stomach, although it feels full. It's cold as hell outside, but sunny and with bright blue skies. I feel both grimey and cold, so I'm running a hot bath.
12:46 Alerted almost immediately, but disregarded it. Now, with the little flutteriness of excitement and anticipation in my chest I know it was genuine.
1:17 I'm at a +/-. If there has been any development, it has been subtle.
1:23 Onset. I'm at a +.
3:00 Good level, seemed too weak earlier, but was only developing into this peak. Pleasantly visual, empathogenic, ego softening, some insight, minor tactile enhancement, minimal nausea, no stimulation/cramps/gas, mid-peak.
3:20 Ate an almond butter sandwich, some milk, and an amazing pear. Glad I didn't give in earlier and take a booster. This has developed nicely, almost to a +++. I had a couple moments of anxiety as I realized that I was going to be tripping much harder than intended, but eventually I gave over to it and the music. I bought the ticket, I may as well enjoy the ride. I developed an expansive attitude towards the space and decided to welcome it and surrender. There is a bit of stimulation and jaw tension, but nothing bad. I recognized that I can't easily tell the difference between stimulation, euphoria, and anxiety. I decided that I would interpret the sensation as euphoria or as some neutral equivalent. Visuals take a while to develop, mostly cloudiness. I think they would be spectacular at higher doses, but I don't want to go there. I get the usual rainbow tight traced concentric neon lines, but they're not frequent. Nausea still at bay. Music sounds very enveloping and rich, and is very helpful. It's not overwhelmingly engrossing, as music can be on some psychedelics, but I'm glad it's been there to guide me. Silence is also good. The cold against my skin feels sexually pleasurable, although that's where the erotic stops for me, having had sex twice earlier.
~ 5:25 Experience has been much stronger than expected, marked by intellectual and emotional openness. I think surrender and listening to music would have been just fine and quite rewarding (and plenty deep), but given that my friend was grieving I wanted to be around to be supportive, so I only dove deep for an hour or so here and there. Building a lego set would have been impossible, as we had planned. My friend was having a strong experience as well, but didn't find it to be useful when engaged with, always transporing them back into the past where there was nothing useful to be gained. It was disconnected, fragmented, so my friend decided to focus on gaming. I didn't want to waste the experience with something so directed, preferring to surrender to wherever it took me. This experience felt more distinct from mescaline than prior experiences. Vision was patchy with blurriness. Visuals were slow to develop, but progressed in complexity. The ceiling textures rippled and undulated, breaking into tryptamine purple and fuschia tinted patterns somewhat like polynesian tattoos, jostling and bobbing around. This would likely be stunning at higher dosages, but that's not what I'm here for. The message has been one of being in the moment, bringing attention back into the experience that I'm having and away from preoccupation with the future.
~ 6:30 My friend had a glass of wine, so I made up a batch of micronized kava (1tbl 11yr waka). This was super helpful, calming muscle tension I hadn't even noticed, although the taste was dire and it was a good thing that I had 100% cranberry juice to kill the taste, and some non-alcoholic apple cider to kill that taste.
~ 7 Descending or plateau, not sure. Not at peak anymore. Started yawning and developing some gas. Had planned to vaporize some EPT with mescaline to regain my libido, but the 2C-T-2 essence-space advised me against that. Eventually, I found myself feeling mental stillness and clarity, but also quite sad. Not a sad connected to anything, more like the idiosyncratic sadness that MDMA gives me. It think that may be 2C-T-2's MDMA-like properties, as my friend commented on the amazing body high, how everything felt good, even the touch of a plate sitting on their legs. I had no body sensation other than chilliness at this point, while my friend felt really warm. Against the guidance from earlier, I vaped some EPT. This was not great. It did not bring back pleasant body sensations or libido or optimism and joy. It did blunt the sadness, but also the clarity of the comedown/plateau. I lost all emotionality - didn't feel moved to smile or frown. It was simply stoning, like a sour tryptamine tail without the sour-weirdness. It was not unpleasant, but it was not pleasant, either. It kicked me into a different, less functional space than my friend, which was a drag. I was not able to social like a good human anymore. We made it work, though. The EPT either caused or coincided with some fairly uncomfortable gas pain. I made another batch of kava and had some hinga-shtak, which eventually helped.
~ 9 My friend was fully down, exhausted, and retired to bed, falling immediately to sleep. I still felt like I was at least at a light ++, stimulated, and far from sleep. It's possible that I was just feeling the effects of the kava, but I'm inclined to think that it was residual 2C-T-2 and maybe EPT (seeing as that kept me up late just a few day earlier.)
~ 12 Slept easily after a couple beers
Overall, this was not an objectively good experience, but my attitude was positive throughout, transforming it into a subjectively good experience. Seeing this side of this material was really interesting. It's definitely deep and valuable for me, really good stuff. It would have been better if I could have engaged with it on my own terms without the need to care for someone else while in my profoundly altered state. It felt a little long, with nowhere near the pleasurable quality of the rectal and insufflated experiences I had had before. Still, that length allowed the space to open and deepen much more than the somehwhat shallower, shorter experiences I'd had with other ROAs. It felt different, not better. More complex. I could definitely press the dose higher, but I think there are few reasons for me to do so with this material, particularly given how the side effects and stimulation can be unpleasant at higher dosages. Less is more here, I feel.
I feel good the next day, maybe just a hair emotionally unguarded. Sleep was satisfying, and I woke rested to my surprise. My friend feels melancholy and emotionally...something today. Perhaps raw or unguarded or just put through the wringer. It doesn't seem too bad, and would be understandable even in the absence of the experience.
Addendum:
For the next seven days, I found it hard to integrate some of my insights around the futility of many of my pleasures. I realized with an emotional and intellectual immediacy that many of my pleasures weren't so much pleasure as relief from being released from the discomfort of desire...and that that desire was self-generated and self-inflicted. What point, then passion, if it is self-generated suffering? Why make myself suffer so that I can be released from suffering, like finding a cigarette relaxing because when really its just withdrawal is anxiogenic. That created a wash of strange existential discomfiture that I didn't know what to do with, and that came alongside resurgent depression. This seemed strange, as 2C-T-2 in the past (mostly other ROAs) has been a relief to depressive symptoms, never a cause of it. I couldn't decide if this was due to the addition of EPT, due to the higher dose and longer duration of its serotonergic action this time, or if it was due to the need to integrate the difficult truth of the experience. I wanted to ride it out, but after a few days I recognized that I couldn't afford to grapple with depression while supporting a grieving friend. I started introducing mesembrine, St Johns wort, N-acetylcysteine, and other supplements/drugs that complemented without interacting dangerously, which I responded to immediately. That supported the idea that it may just be serotonergic in origin. I made sure I slept a lot, and started exercising and meditating daily. On the seventh day, I had a breakthrough regarding what I needed to process, and was able to integrate it. I discontinued depression supplements that day with no difficulty. I don't know if either the EPT or the higher oral dose were responsible, but I'll be avoiding either in future 2C-T-2 experiences.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_2ct2
substancecode_phenethylamines
explevel_experienced
exptype_positive
exptype_difficult
roacode_oral
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