roliepolie
Ex-Bluelighter
this is an excerpt from a letter I wrote to a friend about my 2C-B experience... it's quite long, and very personal and heartfelt. I don't know if it's the right format, nor if it'll get deleted, but it is the best way I can explain the effects it had on me... and please don't critisize what happened, or how I did it... or question me... cuz quite frankly... I DON'T KNOW. Ask questions... or whatever. But I simply cannot better describe this. I know this is an incredibly intense experience, and it will likely never happen to me like this again... but I thank god for this experience.
---
Needless to say, the topic of conversation came upon what I had tried, and what I long for the most in my(now Fear and Loathing size) collection. So I all of the sudden recalled what you had said about 2C-B. And knowing that I was going to be coming back to KC in the near future, and that I really wanted to make up for all of the stupid, selfish, evil, horrible shit I did--I obtained some 2C-B, as well as a few other choice eye openers.
I took some 2C-B the other day for the first time. I opened the envelope, and the capsules had all busted open... I couldn't get all of the broken capsule out, but got it out of a decent sized pile of 2C-B(15mg or so)
and snorted it.
it kicked in within 5 minutes and rushed harder than any roll ever has.. almost like the initial rush of DMT right before the world collapses... but then nothing happened for 20 minutes that was noticable.
So I ate the remaining 15-20mg that was left and within 20 more minutes I was online talking to someone or other(prolly myself)
And I looked out the window and saw something amazing.(the sky was neon orange and I saw a bird break into a million birds and fly away--only to merge into 1 bird again)
I stepped outside and what I saw just completely shut my whole sense of what the world was truly about, down.
I walked over to a patch of grass that the sun was hitting and looked down, and I saw my reflection in the grass, only, I didn't know until it was over that I was looking at myself.
I looked back at my house and I was still standing on my porch, I WAS LOOKING AT MYSELF 50 FEET AWAY.
I had just stepped out of my body. Rather, I stepped out of my ego and was observing myself the way the world see's me. It wasn't pretty at all. When I walked back to myself, I could see this black aura around my body, and when I looked hard, I could see my soul, and there were black(demons?) and gargoyals*sp* holding my soul...
It completely shattered my ego, and in stead of freaking out, I made a promise that I would share this marvelous breakthrough with someone who deserves to hear more than anyone that I am a completely different man as of this very fucking second.
I cannot put into words how beautiful this experience was. I later got onto a public bus and looked out the side window as the world of mountains and valleys unfolded like the pages of a picture book. And this baby got on the bus with his mother and was laughing... laughing at nothing... but I looked at this baby and saw deep into his soul as well... it was pure white and had nothing gaurding it...
he hasn't been hurt by the world yet. Suddenly I knew why this baby was laughing... I couldn't stop laughing at this baby... it made me so happy to discover what he was smiling about, because I realized that I can harness this feeling now at any time, and I can use it to completely turn my life around.
"there was a time I considered you my brother" (said to me by a friend, who I did something terrible to a couple years back and just recently started to reconcile with)
You will always be my brother. THANK GOD ALIVE FOR THIS FUCKING DAY!
---
Needless to say, the topic of conversation came upon what I had tried, and what I long for the most in my(now Fear and Loathing size) collection. So I all of the sudden recalled what you had said about 2C-B. And knowing that I was going to be coming back to KC in the near future, and that I really wanted to make up for all of the stupid, selfish, evil, horrible shit I did--I obtained some 2C-B, as well as a few other choice eye openers.
I took some 2C-B the other day for the first time. I opened the envelope, and the capsules had all busted open... I couldn't get all of the broken capsule out, but got it out of a decent sized pile of 2C-B(15mg or so)
and snorted it.
it kicked in within 5 minutes and rushed harder than any roll ever has.. almost like the initial rush of DMT right before the world collapses... but then nothing happened for 20 minutes that was noticable.
So I ate the remaining 15-20mg that was left and within 20 more minutes I was online talking to someone or other(prolly myself)
And I looked out the window and saw something amazing.(the sky was neon orange and I saw a bird break into a million birds and fly away--only to merge into 1 bird again)
I stepped outside and what I saw just completely shut my whole sense of what the world was truly about, down.
I walked over to a patch of grass that the sun was hitting and looked down, and I saw my reflection in the grass, only, I didn't know until it was over that I was looking at myself.
I looked back at my house and I was still standing on my porch, I WAS LOOKING AT MYSELF 50 FEET AWAY.
I had just stepped out of my body. Rather, I stepped out of my ego and was observing myself the way the world see's me. It wasn't pretty at all. When I walked back to myself, I could see this black aura around my body, and when I looked hard, I could see my soul, and there were black(demons?) and gargoyals*sp* holding my soul...
It completely shattered my ego, and in stead of freaking out, I made a promise that I would share this marvelous breakthrough with someone who deserves to hear more than anyone that I am a completely different man as of this very fucking second.
I cannot put into words how beautiful this experience was. I later got onto a public bus and looked out the side window as the world of mountains and valleys unfolded like the pages of a picture book. And this baby got on the bus with his mother and was laughing... laughing at nothing... but I looked at this baby and saw deep into his soul as well... it was pure white and had nothing gaurding it...
he hasn't been hurt by the world yet. Suddenly I knew why this baby was laughing... I couldn't stop laughing at this baby... it made me so happy to discover what he was smiling about, because I realized that I can harness this feeling now at any time, and I can use it to completely turn my life around.
"there was a time I considered you my brother" (said to me by a friend, who I did something terrible to a couple years back and just recently started to reconcile with)
You will always be my brother. THANK GOD ALIVE FOR THIS FUCKING DAY!
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