the bluelight preconception, pregnancy and parenting l337ness thread

[n3ophy7e]

^^ LA I'm not criticising you in the slightest when I say this so I hope you don't take it as such. I totally 100% respect that you made your own choices during your pregnancies and your bubs have turned out just fine

But there is overwhelming evidence to suggest that drinking alcohol during pregnancy increases the risk of birth defects, in my opinion it's just not worth it to drink during pregnancy. I mean, obviously half a glass of wine here and there isn't going to cause any major problems but proper drinking might. There isn't as much data on smoking pot during pregnancy but again, just my opinion, taking any recreational substances during pregnancy is only going to increase the risk of birth defects. I certainly am not going to bother taking those risks when I am preggers.

 

[drugfukkdrockstar]

Yeah im gonna be pretty strict when im preggers and i wont be touching any drug or alcohol. For me it's not worth the risk, im sure i can go 9 months without it. But once that baby is out - gimme a glass of wine asap!

 

[addictivepersona]

Yeah im gonna be pretty strict when im preggers and i wont be touching any drug or alcohol. For me it's not worth the risk, im sure i can go 9 months without it. But once that baby is out - gimme a glass of wine asap!

You're not going to breast feed? You should at least consider breast feeding right after birth--The "first milk" has tons of immunities, antibodies, and all kinds of other good stuff for the baby. Just a few more minutes and then you can have your wine.

 

[drugfukkdrockstar]

Haha ok good point - bah by then ill be so used to going without it, whats a few more months!. I just looked it up then for the first time ever, i hadn't considered it could be harmful while breast feeding. Though no doubt that's something i would have had figured out once i fell pregnant.

I had 3 people at work today ask me when am i gonna fall preg, and that they can see me making a great mum. Naww while it was nice to be told that, leave me alone dammit i have too much coming up in the next few months!!

 

[Mariposa]

(Not pregnant or planning to be anytime soon )

There seems to be a lot of conflicting information about drinking during breastfeeding. I thought this article was one of the more sensible I've read.

If you're sober enough to drive, you're sober enough to breastfeed.

The dangers of drinking during pregnancy are very well-known; I went to high school with a guy who had fetal alcohol syndrome. He had a stub with toes on it for his arm and facial features typical of FAS. I don't know if this has anything to do with the random outbursts that got him kicked out of Spanish class for good, but it's not just the deformities - kids with FAS frequently have learning disabilities, mental health problems... the list goes on. It's absolutely not worth it to drink during pregnancy.

I could see myself having a glass of wine or two every few days while breastfeeding, but no more than that. I would be afraid of dropping the baby or worse. Cannabis? Well, there is one study from Jamaica where mothers smoke up for morning sickness and no harm resulted. I couldn't see myself taking in any kind of smoke but if I could not keep down any food, it's possible I'd eat a brownie. I don't know.

My mother did not drink when she was pregnant with me (according to my dad). She did, however, smoke cigarettes. I have had no problems related to this as a child/adult. I was 6 days early. Even though I was full term, apparently the doctor said there had been some abnormalities with my placenta that he attributed to my mother's smoking. I was also quite small - only 4 lb, 15 oz and 18 inches long.

I also don't want any children I have to think it is OK to drink in anything other than moderation. I have vivid memories of my parents drinking a lot of beer. I thought it was something that adults just did. It's not. Moderation is fine; letting my child see me shitfaced is not. Ever.

UNH, I remember my parents giving me brandy or peppermint schnapps when I wasn't feeling well - just a shot. Alcohol is not a taboo in my family; many are alcoholics themselves. I was allowed wine as a teenager with dinner here and there, as long as I didn't have to go to school, work or drive. It was not until well into my 20s that I became a problem drinker.

Since you are young, your risk of having an autistic child is relatively low. I would have to space out my kids very closely since I am now 30 and wouldn't have a baby past 35-37.

addictivepersona, in full agreement about how the food that is eaten today is way different from even some of the crap I ate as a kid. And parents are SO sloppy about this a lot of the time. One of my friends has two sons, 9 and 6. They literally refuse to eat anything other than McDonald's, chicken nuggets, french fries, and Chef Boyardee. We were having a conversation about nutrition and I was horrified that he and their mother let their kids eat that crap. My kid will eat the healthy food put on his or her plate (with my attention to their preferences, of course - everyone has likes and dislikes) and not complain! With my luck I'll wind up with a kid screaming for a Happy Meal after seeing what their friends eat. I won't budge.

DFRS, you're going to make a great Mum!

A friend (age 24) had her first in a water birth a couple months back, at a birthing center with a doula, a midwife, and an OB-GYN who could perform an emergency C-section, on the premises. She had a great experience and did it without drugs. She's now breastfeeding and does drink a couple times a week (when the baby is being watched by others - she expels milk before she goes out and prepares a bottle). The baby is perfect. She should have been high-risk, as she had leukemia as a child. I didn't know that until recently. She stood her ground on the issue of natural birth - that said, we live in hippy-dippy central and everyone's about that sort of thing, even a lot of doctors!

I can't wait to see your lil man Lefty I like your choice of name; may your kid grow up to love techno.

 

[tiggerific]

^^ I expressed milk so that way my husband could also feed the kids, and when family came to stay so they could share a close moment, but must admit I felt happier when actually feeding myself.

As for drinking in pregnancy its a no as far as I am concerned and that also includes when you are feeding. I did however express enough milk to cover 2 days and freeze it if I wanted a night out. I found breast milk froze well so had no qualms about doing it.

As for water births, well the first time I got to try it was with my 3rd and can honestly say it was more relaxing, and a lot less painful. I could not get it on the NHS here were I live but I could hire a pool for home and it is so much better, well for me. Everyone is different, as is feeling of pain. One of my best friends who had her 8th child just 2 years ago (BITCH) 17 minutes labour she would not have had time to get in. She started feeling contractions then next thing out pops baby, the one before was 32 minutes. I was there and it is on video so the kids can see when they are older.AMAZING. Her preference was to stand up and we basically got cushions ready and caught baby. She felt gravity helped with pain. I knew there was a reason I hated her lol

 

[Samadhi]

My sister-in-law was telling me that during all 3 of her births, she used a TENS machine, with the pads on the small of her back. She said that it was so effective, she didn't need to use any other kind of pain-relief. Another girlfriend had her first and will have her second baby using Hypnosis during birth.

My husband and I decided that from Jan, we'd be trying for a bub, so i quit smoking on the 4th Jan and haven't had any alcohol since mid-January. It's obviously not the same for everyone, but i guess we're fortunate in that we're planning to have a baby, so I have the choice to not drink leading up to being pregnant.

 

[Bearlove]

My sister-in-law was telling me that during all 3 of her births, she used a TENS machine, with the pads on the small of her back. She said that it was so effective, she didn't need to use any other kind of pain-relief. Another girlfriend had her first and will have her second baby using Hypnosis during birth.

My husband and I decided that from Jan, we'd be trying for a bub, so i quit smoking on the 4th Jan and haven't had any alcohol since mid-January. It's obviously not the same for everyone, but i guess we're fortunate in that we're planning to have a baby, so I have the choice to not drink leading up to being pregnant.

Meh - you can buy a tens machine over the counter at any time. Make the most of the chemicals in the hospital - go for a the injections first enjoy the nod and then when the real pain starts then up the ante.

 

[addictivepersona]

Haha ok good point - bah by then ill be so used to going without it, whats a few more months!. I just looked it up then for the first time ever, i hadn't considered it could be harmful while breast feeding. Though no doubt that's something i would have had figured out once i fell pregnant

Check out the article Mariposa linked to (couple lines down from this for your convenience and my reply )--It basically says all that I learned the other day in class (we're doing a unit on breastfeeding nutrition).

There seems to be a lot of conflicting information about drinking during breastfeeding. I thought this article was one of the more sensible I've read.

Thank you for posting that article! Summed up what I was going to write out.

addictivepersona, in full agreement about how the food that is eaten today is way different from even some of the crap I ate as a kid. And parents are SO sloppy about this a lot of the time. One of my friends has two sons, 9 and 6. They literally refuse to eat anything other than McDonald's, chicken nuggets, french fries, and Chef Boyardee. We were having a conversation about nutrition and I was horrified that he and their mother let their kids eat that crap. My kid will eat the healthy food put on his or her plate (with my attention to their preferences, of course - everyone has likes and dislikes) and not complain! With my luck I'll wind up with a kid screaming for a Happy Meal after seeing what their friends eat. I won't budge.

Hooray that you won't budge! In all seriousness, I don't understand how parents can feel they are feeding their kids well with the garbage they give them. I was very spoiled growing up with having a grandma who cooked a homemade dinner every weekday--It wasn't until her arthritis started getting bad that we started having more "instant" meals like frozen pizzas and frozen entrées. But yeah, we ate what we were given, there was no alternate. McDonalds/BK was a once in awhile treat (and I'm talking maybe once a month).

As for drinking in pregnancy its a no as far as I am concerned and that also includes when you are feeding. I did however express enough milk to cover 2 days and freeze it if I wanted a night out. I found breast milk froze well so had no qualms about doing it.

Out of curiosity, how did you warm it after freezing? I've read that microwaving denatures human breast milk.

 

[Samadhi]

Meh - you can buy a tens machine over the counter at any time. Make the most of the chemicals in the hospital - go for a the injections first enjoy the nod and then when the real pain starts then up the ante.

I don't know... i've always felt that i'd like to remember the experience (as much as a woman does - labour/birthing has a noted amnesiac effect on the woman from what i've been told by a number of mum-friends), and every mum that i've talked to has said that they'd rather not jump to the pain relief. I would also want to be as present as possible during the birth, in case anything happens. As for drugs, i can't stand the feeling of nitrous oxide or pethidine, so i can't see me jumping for that when the time comes.

I think i'd just like to try natural pain-relief first - i'd like to think that i wouldn't just automatically jump for drugs. I have a really high threshold to feminine-type pain (i was diagnosed with endometriosis when i was 15), so i'm keen to see, when the time comes, how the pain of contractions compares to the secondary dysmenorrhea i've experienced over the years).

 

[Miss Peks]

I don't know... i've always felt that i'd like to remember the experience (as much as a woman does - labour/birthing has a noted amnesiac effect on the woman from what i've been told by a number of mum-friends), and every mum that i've talked to has said that they'd rather not jump to the pain relief. I would also want to be as present as possible during the birth, in case anything happens. As for drugs, i can't stand the feeling of nitrous oxide or pethidine, so i can't see me jumping for that when the time comes.

I think i'd just like to try natural pain-relief first - i'd like to think that i wouldn't just automatically jump for drugs. I have a really high threshold to feminine-type pain (i was diagnosed with endometriosis when i was 15), so i'm keen to see, when the time comes, how the pain of contractions compares to the secondary dysmenorrhea i've experienced over the years).

I agree with the above and if my pain threshold is high enough then I'll be steering away from drugs. The idea of an epidural scares the crap out of me.


As for drinking throughout pregnancy I stopped once I realised I was pregnant. A good friend of mine drank light beer throughout her pregnancy a couple of bottles a week. I've had a bit of conflicting advice, but have decided to abstain as there is nothing out there (as far as I know) to determine what is a safe amount.

 

[Khadijah]

Out of curiosity, how did you warm it after freezing? I've read that microwaving denatures human breast milk.

you sit it in warm water til it thaws.

 

[tiggerific]

adictivepersona, I took it out of the freezer and warmed it up in a pan of water. I was using small food grade plastic bottles and only froze the amount per feed in each one so it was little to defrost in any one go so was quite quick.

 

[Conscious21]

Samadhi, I also have endometriosis. Knowing what bad endo pain is like does *not* make me look forward to experiencing labour, but I too am curious as to whether it's worse or just kinda similar. Even if it's worse, to be without those hellish cramps for the 9 months before that has got to count for something

We started trying for a baby when we did partly because of the endo and some horror predictions from the doc that we might never fall pregnant or at least that it would take a few years, so were surprised when it was just a couple of months! Good luck TTC and good on you for making some lifestyle renovations now to give yourselves the best possible chance

 

[tiggerific]

^^ my friend has that and goes in to get laser treatment every few years she found it was a bit better after her first but after her second seemed to be worse. do not envy you with that

 

[addictivepersona]

you sit it in warm water til it thaws.

adictivepersona, I took it out of the freezer and warmed it up in a pan of water. I was using small food grade plastic bottles and only froze the amount per feed in each one so it was little to defrost in any one go so was quite quick.

I'm glad to hear that is how you two heat(ed) it up--I've heard of many women microwaving their pumped milk and it makes me cringe. (I'm not a fan of the microwave, esp. after reading how human breast milk gets denatured when heated in it...)

It's also good to hear that breast milk freezes well! That topic came up in my nutrition class the other day and no one knew if it froze well--The class came to the consensus that it's okay to put it in the fridge, unsure about the freezer. I will be passing along the information.

 

[User Name Here]

On epidurals: I think I'm going to get one. I've done a lot of research and the main negative affects are that babies are born sleepy and have a harder time latching on during breast feeding. I know it makes me sound like a total puss but if I can choose not to feel it you bet I will

With that being said, it won't be the end of my world if the epidural isn't feasible because of timing or something like that. I know women are built to handle child birth and we've been doing it for hundreds of thousands of years without pain medication. I still don't wanna go through the pain if I don't have to though!

I guess that's just how I see it. I've always thought it's really awesome when women choose not to use pain meds though.

 

[Conscious21]

We're planning on the birth centre option. I think I'm more likely to "be strong" if there's no option to have the various drugs on offer in the main hospital, but I'm still a bit scared that it will be heaps harder than I expected! I don't think you're a "total puss" at all UNH, pregnancy and parenting are both hard work and if you can find a way to make the 12-ish hours of transition between them more bearable then good on you

 

[User Name Here]

Here's a reminder for all you ladies to get your teeth cleaned AT LEAST three times while pregnant! Women with gum and/or teeth problems have an 18% higher chance of their babies being born with problems (such as low birth weight, inept immune system, etc.)! I had NO idea until my dentist told me the other day as I was getting some work done.

Conscious, I think I'm gonna look at a birthing center too. They have one attached to one of the [many] hospitals here. Unfortunately my insurance is kind of picky (at least they have been so far, if it weren't for my epilepsy I wouldn't even be able to choose my OBGYN!) so I dunno how that will go but we'll see. They look wonderful... I would much rather give birth in a more homey environment but at the same time I'm pretty damn set on that epidural.

I wonder if this birthing center does epidurals since it's a part of a hospital? Hmm.

 

[Samadhi]

Samadhi, I also have endometriosis. Knowing what bad endo pain is like does *not* make me look forward to experiencing labour, but I too am curious as to whether it's worse or just kinda similar. Even if it's worse, to be without those hellish cramps for the 9 months before that has got to count for something

We started trying for a baby when we did partly because of the endo and some horror predictions from the doc that we might never fall pregnant or at least that it would take a few years, so were surprised when it was just a couple of months! Good luck TTC and good on you for making some lifestyle renovations now to give yourselves the best possible chance

Oh really!? You'd then know what i mean about comparing contraction pain to severe pain due to endometriosis. It's hard to explain to someone who has never had pain like that, that it's not comparable to regular cramping When i was 16, a doctor told my mum that the best way for me to be endo-free was to fall pregnant; mum almost fell off her chair! Touch wood i've not needed surgery for around 5 years (the last lot was in early November 06 - i've had 4 surgeries all up).

I'm so happy to hear that it didn't take you long to conceive! It's one of the reasons why i'm being so careful now to give my body the best chance of health for potentially carrying a baby - we also know that we're actively trying to conceive so i don't want to drink or anything just in case i do fall pregnant.

I am so keen to hear your (and all the other mums-to-be) updates in this thread :D