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Do you call people by their given name or their surname?

calmAnimal said:
the reason that we called ppl by their surname (last name) was cuz there was multiples of the same name. we musta had 10 chris's in my graduating class. its just easier to identify a person by their last name cuz its more unique then their first name. another reason is that their last name is more memorable. ie, i went to school wit a kid who had the last name falco. it first name was kinda bland so falco stuck.
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Yep. I happen to have a very common given name and very uncommon, but simple, surname. Therefore, never being the only Dave in any classroom, I tended to easily slip into the category of people who get called by their surname. But I've always had a weird hangup about being paged by my surname. Due to some scarring early childhood memories, and a couple of grandparents who taught me it was rude, I always associated this habit with people taunting or talking down to me, rather than being friendly.

As a result, when I got to college, I felt weird asking people not to call me by my last name, but knew from experience that this would inevitably happen with a first name as common as mine. So I reinvented myself with a whole new nickname, entirely unrelated to my real name, but complete with a bullshit story of how I got it in high school.

I've resolved that any child of mine is going to get a name that's neither common nor weird. Common enough that everyone has heard of it and knows how to pronounce and spell it, but uncommon enough that they're probably the only one with it in most classrooms. A classic old name that doesn't get nearly enough use these days, maybe.

Still, I'd rather have a common first name than a common last name, or even worse, both. My wife had the blessing-slash-curse of a maiden name and first name that are both common in her ethnic group, but unheard of outside of it, and this has caused her some interesting situations. She was once investigated by the FBI for a white collar crime committed by someone with the same name as her. She also used to get phone calls out of the blue from people who'd thought they'd found their long-lost friend or relative.
 
MyDoorsAreOpen said:
I've resolved that any child of mine is going to get a name that's neither common nor weird. Common enough that everyone has heard of it and knows how to pronounce and spell it, but uncommon enough that they're probably the only one with it in most classrooms. A classic old name that doesn't get nearly enough use these days, maybe.

Still, I'd rather have a common first name than a common last name, or even worse, both.
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I'd much rather have a common first name than a common last name, or both, too. :P

Any child of mine is going to have a name like that, too, but with one stipulation: It has to be a name that isn't easily made into a negative nickname, since children can be quite cruel.

You also mentioned about how last names can be used to taunt, etc. I hear ya there--Got many years of people using my surname in a demeaning manor. Trying to get passed that though, since my surname is a hell of a lot more uncommon than my first name.
 
^ It's funny how ways of speaking to people that indicate great closeness tend to be the same ways that show subordination -- the difference is who is using them and when. Calling people by their surnames without a title is a great example of this -- the person doing it is either showing you he's your buddy, or rubbing it in your face that he's your boss.
 
Like others, i'll call someone the name that they were introduced as. An interesting situation has occurred at my husband's work - he calls me by my nickname (pretty much everyone i am friends with, with the exception of about 4 people, calls me this) and refers to me as this name at work. So now, everyone at his work calls me this - even people i've never met. Now, it wouldn't usually be an issue for anyone else, but i find it odd when people call me by my nickname if they're not my friend - i know, i should pull the rod out of my arse, but to me, a nickname insinuates familiarity and i'm not familiar with them. It's not their fault - i'm sure a couple of these people actually think this is my name, lol.

What i find REALLY irritating is when i've been introduced to someone by my full name, but then they *hear* other people refer to me by my nickname, and assume they can call me by that. I feel like correcting them.

Like i said, I need to pull this stick out of my arse. ;)

As for surnames, only one person has ever called me by my surname, at school, I used to use her surname too - it was more taking the piss than anything. I also have friends (and my husband) who are known in their circles by and abbreviation of their surname. I didn't know them by that name, so use their first names.
 
I'd just like to add that one of my fellow senior mods calls me by the first initial of my first name, and I love it :) I think he knows who he is ;) No-one else has done that so for me it's very unique.
 
It depends really. Right through high school I can't recall many people ever using my first name.
I was always known by my surname and people called me as such. Often times they would throw a y on the end of the surname which I never liked so much but was too hard to quell it.

These days I prefer to be called by my full first name or the shortened version cut in half.
Very few people get a away with calling me by first name with a y thrown on the end. Generally, I don't like that so much.
 
It depends on how familiar with somebody I am.

Where I'm from many people refer to me by my surname.

Here people who know me call me my first name, people who don't I introduce myself to using my surname (also the name on my business)
 
i call people whatever they introduce themselves as. altho once i start referring to someone as a certain name, it tends to stick... i have a friend who used to use his surname but switched to using his first name a few years ago. i've known him longer than most of his current friends and am the only who uses his surname. it just doesn't feel right to call him by his first name.
 
People have called me a variety of things throughout time.

- first name (amy)
- first name nickname (aim)
- first name + middle name (amy jean)
- first name + surname initial (amy g.)
- surname w/o miss attached (you'll have to figure that out on your own ;))
- Miss Surname

I agree with others that the majority of them are a reflection of having a common first name plus a unique and kinda fun to say last name. The only people who call me "Miss G------" are my professors or employer. It's customary at law schools in the States.

I, like it seems everyone else, call people what they've been introduced as.
 
I have a name where my first and surnames are interchangeable, that is my first name for some is a surname and vice versa. As a result I am often called the reverse by strangers. Weirdly I have never been called by solely my surname growing up.

At work all the staff address me as Dr St Clare. As soon as I meet a patient though I introduce myself by my first name. It is a psychological way of putting them at ease while still maintaining a level of authority. The only patients I do not address by their first name, regardless of age are priests and nuns. Not that I am particularly religious at all but I figure if you dedicate your life to not having sex you deserve the honour of being called a father or sister.
 
n3ophy7e said:
I'd just like to add that one of my fellow senior mods calls me by the first initial of my first name, and I love it :) I think he knows who he is ;) No-one else has done that so for me it's very unique.
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that's usually how i address people i'm tight with, but i'll call them by the surname if they're being annoying. at work everyone is on a first name basis. anything goes for everyone else, fuck em if they can't take a joke :D
 
i only call my best friend by his surname, sometimes, but only when i'm taking the piss out of him. just like he does to me. :)
 
If more people knew my middle name they would probably call me by that. Or a combo of my first-middle names.... Just cause it's extremely similar to a famous musician
 
michael said:
there is a reason i introduce myself to people as michael and not mike.
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Fawkes said:
^ likewise.
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Under this same response, there is a reason I introduce myself as Elizabeth, NOT Liz, but people will STILL CALL ME LIZ WITHOUT ASKING IF ITS OKAY FIRST AND IT DRIVES ME UP THE WALL. Some people I have introduced myself to as Liz, meaning that I'm okay with them calling me that --- but if I use my full first name, I expect you to keep using the same. Didn't wanna really use my name but my earlier post makes much less sense without including it.
 
purple_cloud said:
Under this same response, there is a reason I introduce myself as Elizabeth, NOT Liz, but people will STILL CALL ME LIZ WITHOUT ASKING IF ITS OKAY FIRST AND IT DRIVES ME UP THE WALL. Some people I have introduced myself to as Liz, meaning that I'm okay with them calling me that --- but if I use my full first name, I expect you to keep using the same. Didn't wanna really use my name but my earlier post makes much less sense without including it.
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I ranted about this very thing earlier in the thread - i'm glad i'm not the only person whose gears are ground by this! :D My name isn't really easy to nickname either, but people just use the second syllable of my name as my nickname - all of my friends do - but as i said earlier, when i introduce myself using my full name, and then the person may hear someone else using my nickname and assume that they can call me that too, it pisses me off. The insinuated familiarity really annoys me.
 
I'm not really bothered by what people call me:

Steve or Steven are fine (although Steven usually is reserved for girlfriends! LOL!)
I also get called 'Bush' a lot and also 'Bushy'. In fact, most of the guys I work with probably don't even know my real name after being with the company for 8 years. I get called Bush and Bushy a lot by friends and work colleagues.

My Jiu Jitsu instructor calls me Stu every time he refers to me, until 15 mins later, remembers that I'm Steve and then calls me Steve. Ha ha ha!

To be honest, if someone called me John or anything else I wouldn't care, but I may get snarky if someone called me something derogatory! :o)
 
Considering I live with 3 guys all named Mike... I call them all by their surnames. And they call me a nick name, or a variation of my name, or sometimes random shit like "fag boy."

It makes life much more interesting.
 
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