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Mental Health Coming off Invega (paliperidone) injections, v 5.0

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UnluckyXeplion said:
Have you made any improvements at all during these 17 months?
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I still got insomnia(mild up to moderate - depends from time to time), anhedonia(got away around half), numbness, short term memory is less efficient, etc. Recently I started working a job which I like(yes I can like things now but not as pre-invega), I also regulary go to the university, I have less drive to learn new stuff about what I always liked before, pre-invega I would do it almost effortlessly, now it's harder to focus. My short term memory was better before. I also live social life and go to vacations every weekend. I also listen music but it's harder for me to find interesting music. I do many stuff, but I can notice I am not recovered. I am also lean and low body fat, in excellent physical shape and very fast ametabolism. This hell experience made my willpower increase a lot, I can also handle any stressful situation much better. At my work I am productive and I finish tasks fast because of good skill which I built pre-invega, also this new improved willpower helps me to be more disciplined. I can easily reject friends/relationships if thats needed(if I find out something I dont like about them, etc) and I would get over it in few minutes (even if they were long term friends/relationship) because from this experience with invega I learned what is real hardcore suffering and I can see how super low level suffering is(all listed happened to me during years before I got invega, I just list it for simple comparison): loss of somebody from my family, losing job, classmates spreaded very severe lies about me in public, being beaten up, breaking bone, relationship breakups, getting strong hit by hammer on my limb on accident, friends betraying me on very bad way, and similar, compared to suffering which invega caused, it is all childs play. I am no longer in constant state of extreme unimaginable agony in which I were for over 10months without having a day of rest from it. I am grateful for that. I can tell being around half recovered is good compared to how it was in "hell phase" of first ~12 months off invega. I hope I recover as fast as possible.
 
t_xeplionhell said:
I still got insomnia(mild up to moderate - depends from time to time), anhedonia(got away around half), numbness, short term memory is less efficient, etc. Recently I started working a job which I like(yes I can like things now but not as pre-invega), I also regulary go to the university, I have less drive to learn new stuff about what I always liked before, pre-invega I would do it almost effortlessly, now it's harder to focus. My short term memory was better before. I also live social life and go to vacations every weekend. I also listen music but it's harder for me to find interesting music. I do many stuff, but I can notice I am not recovered. I am also lean and low body fat, in excellent physical shape and very fast ametabolism. This hell experience made my willpower increase a lot, I can also handle any stressful situation much better. At my work I am productive and I finish tasks fast because of good skill which I built pre-invega, also this new improved willpower helps me to be more disciplined. I can easily reject friends/relationships if thats needed(if I find out something I dont like about them, etc) and I would get over it in few minutes (even if they were long term friends/relationship) because from this experience with invega I learned what is real hardcore suffering and I can see how super low level suffering is(all listed happened to me during years before I got invega, I just list it for simple comparison): loss of somebody from my family, losing job, classmates spreaded very severe lies about me in public, being beaten up, breaking bone, relationship breakups, getting strong hit by hammer on my limb on accident, friends betraying me on very bad way, and similar, compared to suffering which invega caused, it is all childs play. I am no longer in constant state of extreme unimaginable agony in which I were for over 10months without having a day of rest from it. I am grateful for that. I can tell being around half recovered is good compared to how it was in "hell phase" of first ~12 months off invega. I hope I recover as fast as possible.
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I hope you find full recovery soon enough.
Users like lifeline and Kaatrina have recovered fully after 2 years, so it might take a little while for you.

How many injections did you get btw?
 
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Medara said:
Did you experience mind blankness? And did your mind return to how it was pre-Invega? Like I used to have multiple thoughts at a time (5-6 thoughts at once) before Invega, now I have 0-2 at a time and I’m 5 months off. Also I know all your emotions aren’t fully back but what percentage would you say you experience emotions and do you have a full range of them?
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Todays my final day on invega. Moods are fine. Honestly try to live in the present and not worry so much about them. They’ll come to u then. Also stretching will help and belly breathing helped a lot too
 
I swear this drug sent me to hell and brought me back in pieces. This is the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever gone thru period. Make sure you’re standing straight and if I workout that’s a bonus you’ll see results fast and feel much better!
 
StrawHatLuffy said:
Hi, I can completely relate to this. Everyday I ask myself why I abused weed and got myself psychotic in the first place. I really miss my old self who was happy and driven and lived without regrets. But unfortunately we can’t turn time back.

What we can do is try to get through this and have hope for life on the other side. I can understand if it’s hard to do that right now. But lots of people on this forum have made it through and are living fulfilling lives again and so will you. I bet whatever problems you had in life will look small once you’ve made it through this. Hang in there.

“Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one” - Bruce Lee
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Thanks, I just don’t understand because all the doctors want me and say I need to be on these meds, but my body and brain hates them. Idk who to even listen to anymore. AP’s for drug induced psychosis / schizoaffective are said to be needed forever but I’ve never need anything for forever, and these medications ruin my fucking life to the max. My woman says to not take any more meds but I don’t know what the fuck do to.
 
Syntax said:
were you court ordered to take it? so sorry to hear your having such a hard time that really fucking sucks man. but you definitely deserve to be here so please try to hang in there i really hope you start to get better soon
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No but for some stupid reason I can’t get a fucking high paying job again without being on meds and just being everyone’s bitch

I sought help out for myself without a clue what was wrong and simply slapped with APs. It’s been 4 years and my life is in shambles
 
I've had 3 or 4 isolated psychosis during short time-span spring/summer and no issues for last 4 or 5 months. No use of antipsychotics for last few years.
 
Ive since used psychedelics weed and speed and more booze. Apparently benzo WDs were the critical factor. There are studies about that too. It can make perfectly sane person with no history of psychosis, totally insane.
 
No hospitalization, I always eventually managed to drop out and woke up wondering what the fuck happened
That being said I better score some quetiapine so I can treat myself home if need arises and if that is enough.
 
Pissed_and_messed said:
No hospitalization, I always eventually managed to drop out and woke up wondering what the fuck happened
That being said I better score some quetiapine so I can treat myself home if need arises and if that is enough.
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That’s what I’ve got on hand, but it fucks my shit up like nothing else
 
I just don’t know who to listen to anymore. If I get on the APs the general feeling is I have to keep taking more and using and using in order to function properly. While struggling through the awful side effects
 
greenlight204 said:
How’d you know you were in psychosis?
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I had some thin memories and then I checked what I have wrote to people. Disorganized paranoid nonsense, classic stuff. Can't mistake when you are lucid.
One occasion I have absolutely zero memories of other than "fuck I must have said some absolute nonsense" and my friend said I was psychotic when I asked about it.
 
greenlight204 said:
I just don’t know who to listen to anymore.
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This is hard situation in life. Often time has helped me with this.
Also; disassemble the influence you get of each and everyones claims and analyze what they are formed of.
There is so much going on in people that it can take long time to figure out if they really make sense and they are properly backed up by empirical or scientific data... or if they are just good to talk and have some characteristics which feel trustworthy and don't tell everything.
 
greenlight204 said:
I just don’t know who to listen to anymore. If I get on the APs the general feeling is I have to keep taking more and using and using in order to function properly. While struggling through the awful side effects
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First, we are all different and APs have different effects on each of us. While everyone has horrible side effects from Invega and other long acting injectables, there are other APs that may not be quite as bad.

Now that I said all that, unless you are under community order, a patient should be able to have at least some say in their treatment plan. Some psychiatrists insist that APs are a lifelong medication not to cure you but to maintain stability.

There is a British psychiatrist and author named Joanna Moncrieff who advocates against long term use of APs. I actually learned about her from this thread. Dr Moncrieff does concede that many times APs are necessary for short term to knock out a psychosis but rarely long term. Things such as therapy, meditation, and community/family involvement have been shown to help just as much as medication for some people. She has many books on Amazon and in digital format. Look her up and read a book or two. That way you will be informed and armed with some knowledge when your doctor tries to convince you to take these meds for life.

I've been on APs for over 20 years but still work with my doctor to take control of what meds I will or will not try and the dosage. For me, Abilify pills give me virtually zero side effects while still allowing me to maximize my quality of life. Not everyone can be successful on Abilify, which is why I said at the top that we are all different and meds treat everyone differently. I don't think all APs have awful side effects but that is a discussion you can have with your doctor. It's okay to listen to your doctor but it's also okay to question them or even find a new doctor that is more agreeable. All this is assuming that you are not under community order, which pretty much means you would have no control over your treatment plan.
 
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