It's been almost a year since I was supposed to receive my last shot but didn't so I figured I'd update on my situation. I would be off for a year on April 15th. I took Invega Sustenna for close to a year, then had 3 or 4 Invega Trinza injections which you take once every three months.
My psychiatrist refused to change my medication in any way after bringing up my side effects to him which included weight gain, lactation, anhedonia, inability to sustain employment, and suicidality so I just ghosted him. I am in Ontario, Canada and was not on a CTO, and my psychiatrist did not end up putting me on one after I refused to show up. The nurse repeatedly called me for a couple of days. I did not reply. She called my family, my mom just said that I don't want to take it anymore and the nurse said that it's ok but that I'll probably end up in the psych ward again.
The worst I felt was right after coming out of my psychosis and about 5-6 months after coming off Invega.
Anhedonia has passed. I feel things again! I was on the bus today and felt the warmth of the sun on my face. It felt so freaking nice. I am able to enjoy music, random small accomplishments. My sleep is more or less normal. On Invega, I used to wake up every 2 hours or so and it really fucked with me. I also slept for at least 12 hours every day, 14 or 16 hour sleeps happened too. Now I sleep a normal amount 7-9 hours and I wake up in the mornings fine.
I lost most of the weight I had gained from Invega, by counting calories. Tried to exercise here and there, but was unsuccessful to sticking to it.
One thing that has not recovered is my period. I get it maybe once every three months. I feel like I've been effectively sterilized so that's that.
Had no relapses of psychosis. Had a bit of mania, during which I slept a smaller amount of time per day and made some plans for the future. They weren't too out there and I wouldn't say they were delusional, albeit a bit grandiose. Made sure to sleep even if I didn't feel like it. I used hypnosis by Michael Sealy on youtube. They're pretty good. At the height of my "mania" I need 2 or 3 videos to finally fall asleep, but it ends up working in the end.
I sometimes have weird dreams where I feel like I'm psychotic again. Sometimes I randomly feel random intense euphoria in the middle of the night while I'm asleep and it wakes me up. I had some weird headaches during my recovery too, they mostly felt like tension in the prefrontal cortex. I still get them sometimes, but with lesser frequency.
Another thing that has not recovered is my speech. I have troubles expressing my thoughts. Sometimes I stop in the middle of a sentence, unable to finish it. This bothers me a lot. I tried to work on it, by making personal video entries where I talk about random things. If I start to monologue, after about ten minutes or so, my speech flows pretty okay. My problem is answering questions or keeping a conversation.
Recently, I also started to mess up words while typing. I write aloud instead of allowed. Complex instead of cortex, stuff like that. Never used to happen to me before, but here we are. I don't know how it is related to Invega, if it is at all.
I also can't quite focus while driving. It feels like I'm in a weird haze, like my brain is covered with some kind of film or something. Idk how to properly explain it. I just don't feel 100% present.