I think I mentioned before, that I can't understand how you get by at all without IR meds and only extended release. You should have dilaudid, I don't think you are really the type of patient to shoot them up or snort them. I woke up beaming today! I am def smiling a lot more and sound like my past self more as well. And started cleaning I'm cleaning my place up really good I want it spotless but now my back is killing mea and there is so much to do so I am laying down for a rest and cooked a healthy lunch. You know, normal people stuff.
You arn't retarded with chronic pain I don't know what you mean by that. I have def been retarded with the benzos but I don't take etizolam anymore. Good, right? That was a turning point of some sort I believe, just on a normal benzo now and trying to taper but with pre-existing and now so much worse extreme anxiety that's going to be tough. I am up for it I have to quit them get down to a reasonable dose and I'm already stable. I dislike being dependent on them like this but at least I'm using them properly and slowly tapering just with a massive tolerance.
What can happen is that the pain signals are firing so rapidly and they map to the same area of the brain, like the ones next to each other along where the pain is are beside each other in the brain. I think the signals can spread over time and the pain can increase around where it original was. Anyways I think I read this somewhere what made the neuropathy diagnosis if you don't mind me asking? I will have to read what the means.
We both need supportive and positive people in our lives to bring us up from families who try and squander our potential. It just really seems that way. I've never been good enough and was kicked out young and all this shit like it's weird now. But yeah my back is absolutely killing me. I really want this place cleaned up and not looking like a dope den but I just took my back out so it will have to be a little bit at a time and being more self conscious about being organized. I need to get my life together asap it is actually like now or never I am being given a chance to care for once. Actually give a shit about my life and myself for once and thanks for being happy for me saying that, yeah this has been really nice.
my family is insane as well haha like I feel sane compared to them lol
You sound great ShroomySatori! Don't let things overwhelm you. Just take it as it comes. Enjoy yourself!
I think a girlfriend is just what you need to give you that last little bit of motivation needed to get yourself going again completely.
Take it slow and easy. Things are working out and you are doing things smart.
Definitely good that you are not taking the etziolam anymore! You really do sound so much better. You seem so much more stable now. I am really proud of you! You have made it a year now without opiates my man!! That is huge! I wish I could throw you a party!
That is something to celebrate! You should take your girl out to do something special that you like to celebrate that!
Yeah, I think I'm going to have to get the Instant release medication to go along with my extended release. My chronic pain is controlled so much better when I use a bit of my medication as instant release. I have found a good dosage schedule that is working for me. I can think and move better.
That is the thing I am talking about when I say I am retarded by the chronic pain is that the pain makes it really hard to think or do anything. I feel confused and I can't pay attention to anything for very long. It makes my mind all fogged up. But when I have the right dosage of medication, I can think more clearly, feel more like myself again, My personality comes back, I laugh and smile again, I can read and watch movies again, I can play with my dog and the kids in my family and enjoy myself again. Instead of just being in so much pain that I feel retarded and can't function hardly at all.
I just woke up and need to get some caffeine in me. I will write more later.
I hope Ash, D.J, Unclejocko, sweet leaf7, and everyone else is doing well. Have a good day friends.
Ps: I am very proud of C.J! You are doing an amazing job on your taper C.J!! Well Done!!!
Really glad to hear it.
