3 months in now. It's weird, the 3 months feels both like it's flown past and taken forever at the same time, if that makes any sense. I think it feels fast because the LTC is so all-engrossing that it's all that's on your mind, all day every day, that there's nothing else you're experiencing that's giving you a time marker or a sense of those days being filled. Then again, it feels like I can't remember what it's like to be normal it feels so long ago.... My sense of time has certainly been skewed.
Progress is slow, and there are some days I wonder whether there is progress at all - but I'm definitely improved from where I was a month ago.
Anxiety is for the most part gone, but sometimes an overbearing feeling of depression takes hold. Probably twice a month I'll break down into an uncontrollable crying spree, which interestingly enough actually feels a bit cathartic and it's almost like the final thing I need to do to "level up" and feel slightly better in my recovery.
Tinnitus remains, but may be getting better, it may be that I'm just getting used to it more. Probably a bit of both.
HPPD (in particular visual snow), eye floaters (which seem to have got more noticable in the past weeks) and huge faint/dizzy spells whenever I move from a sitting to a standing position are a continual reminder that all is not well, and in a lot of cases they actually trigger the depressive feelings I have. I'm also finding that my thermostat is still out of whack, however it is getting a little cooler here in the southern hemisphere now which is helping me deal with that a lot better. I'm really hoping these symptoms start to abate soon.
I've been doing all the right things excercise & diet wise, and have been taking a 5htp/EGCG combo for the past month (reduced from 200mg down to 100mg of 5htp a night, as started to get serious brain fog again... hopefully this means the tryptophan hydroxylase is kicking back into gear). Had a bit of a withdrawal when kicking the 5htp down from 200 to 100 (just a day of feeling really low), so bear that in mind if anyone is looking to do the same.
Have been doing the CBT with a psychologist, but question its worth. Actually, I question her dedication to me as a patient and my specific circumstances. At our first meeting, she suggested that "all drugs are out of your system after 3 weeks so what you're feeling is all psychological now." Actually, no, I think you'll find taking somewhere in the realms of 12mg/kg of MDMA is actually going to cause some long lasting trauma to the brain which is going to require at least 6 months+ of healing. I'm thinking of printing out a medical study on the abuse of MDMA so I can get her on the same page and so we may be able to work on some effective CBT techniques as opposed to the "you're depressed because you're worried about what person XYZ will think, why don't you think about it from another perspective." For $180 a session I would hope she would have at least googled about the effects of an MDMA overdose.
Alcohol is a tough one for me... Really tough. On one hand I want to get back into it and drink, have fun and just get back to some normality which will hopefully allow me to think less and less about this LTC. Then on the other hand, my symptoms did flare when I had a couple of beers a few weeks ago and I do know that alcohol will hinder the brain's recovery from a purely scientific view... My wife thinks I'm overthinking it... probably true. I'd probably look at vaping a little weed sometime over the coming months, but (in a spectacular case of bad timing) we're also trying to conceive... So weed is out for the time being.
Anyways, there's the 3 month update. Thanks to those who have replied and PM'd me so far... I'm going to try to come back here less and less often to speed the recovery, but will give updates along the way.
