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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Do you hide your drug use from loved ones?

This is a sad topic although I completely understand why people keep it hidden-especially if they don't have any intention of stopping or cutting back.

Let me speak from the other side-I was the loved one with a partner that hid his drug and alcohol use. Once it came out-and trust me, it ALWAYS comes out, the situation get worse. Every lie you tell to protect your use becomes making an election of your DOC over your family member, partner or spouse. I spent a lot of time trying to understand in NA Anon and AL Anon. One woman characterized it as the same thing as you partner screwing around with someone and choosing them over you. The NA Anon chapter where I would go is heavily weighted toward parents-we called it "mom Anon". And again, the lieing is so painful for them-like being kicked to the curb.

I certainly understand someone might lie to protect their use or to avoid being judged.
 
I don't hide my drug use from anybody. There is a stigma attached to it, opioid use. People assume you are a piece of shit but it's better to be honest and take their fear of something they don't understand and accept it for what it is. People judge you especially hard when you come clean and tell them you are an addict and getting help. I've never been treated like such shit in my life but I can't own that and these people aren't worth my time.
 
This most recent drug run I had I have been hiding it from my family.I do not live with them.My girlfriend also knows about my addiction but didn't know I was IVing heroin.She only thinks I was snorting pain pills.If I told her I was IVing heroin our relationship would be over.I am now trying to detox with suboxone and she thinks I am only using OTC medicines.I am tired of letting my family down and I feel like if they found out I was using again all hope of ever re-building a relationship will be lost.My mother just started to have some trust in me - that's why I need to stop as soon as possible so she doesn't know I messed up for the hundredth time.
 
The only "loved one" i have left is my mom, and we are pretty close even though we live about 400 miles apart (she's in Eastern WA, i'm in Western WA) . She knows im on methadone maintenance, but does not know that i dabble in other things as well. She probably suspects it, but we just don't talk about it. She hates the fact that i'm on methadone and really wants me to be 100% clean and sober. i don't think im able to go without opiate replacement therapy at this point in my life...maybe if things were more stable for me, but not now. I just don't want to disappoint her , know what i mean?
 
I hide it from everyone except my mom (who i do some drugs with) and one of my friends (who occasionally does shit with me). Everyone knows i "used to be a drug user" and im sure they think/wonder if i am. But the official story is im not doing anything
 
wOw, from your other posts it sounds like you need the support of your family and gf right now. Consider how your gf will feel if she finds out the hard way that you have been IVing. If she finds out by any other means than you confiding in her, there may be deep feelings of betrayal that last a long time. Your family obviously knows about your probation so they don't expect perfection from you. It may be hard, but you need them on your side. I would give telling them how deep you are and why it's been so hard for you to quit. I wouldn't be able to turn my back on someone who comes to me honestly asking for support who gives me truth and sincerity. Set yourself up for success this time. You have a lot on the line. You don't want her to find out on her own if that's a possibility (and it's always a possibility)
 
deadendgame said:
hey. don't be telling no one about that shit. if you tell one person, the whole world will find out in no time
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^^^ Bingo! From experience I know that keeping your mouth shut is best. Keep control of your life and addiction. If you start slipping too far, back up and reevaluate. Telling anyone will cause nothing but PROBLEMS.
bigBird
 
Sometimes it feels good to confide in other people, though. And some people will keep your secrets...sometimes it's just difficult to find people like that, though.
 
badfish45 said:
No. I hate lying to my parents. I avoid discussing it and I dont put it in their face but if they ask me I wouldn't lie. IT ruins the relationship that much more.
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thats exactly how it is with my mum , she knows im on drugs but wont say anything. i dont shoot up infront of her but she knoiws i inject
 
It all depends on your situation. I would encourage young people without many responsibilities to tell someone before it's too late. It's extremely lonely going through this shit. I would love to scream "help me! I can't live like this anymore" but I would loose everything... Maybe not, maybe someone would actually fucking help me or at least just be there for me. Who knows. It's a risk im not willing to take.
 
When you say good drugs, do you mean you're buying top notch stuff?? I a little confused. People have a hard time keeping their mouths shut
 
I'm just saying, sometimes it's useful to let others known about your proclivities, if they had some drugs you may enjoy lol

The way I see it is, in regards to family...if I had a real problem that I couldn't handle myself, I wouldn't hesitate to ask them for help. A lot of people know I have used drugs in the past. They may not know my last name (or even my first lol) but I recognize them and they'll recognize me. And the only connection to these people is the fact that we've gotten high, I have no knowledge of them beyond that. I would think I'd put a little more trust in my family than I would strangers

Also, I've shared some very personal things with other people before, and a lot of times they can relate to it on some level and give very powerful insights based on shared common experience. Definitely true on topics like health and addiction, I think...helps with feelings of isolation
 
I do not, I'm pretty open about my addiction. After my parents found out I was shooting hydromorphone I stopped trying to hide anything and am completely honest with them now, and everyone else. I can't keep hiding from myself.
 
Drderms said:
thats exactly how it is with my mum , she knows im on drugs but wont say anything. i dont shoot up infront of her but she knoiws i inject
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That was pretty much how it was with my family. I would have spoken about my heroin addiction, had they wanted, but they did not want to hear about it. My husband always knew and so did my my friends. The saddest thing is that my firstborn child also knew and saw me inject. When he was 2, he said things like "mommy is sick", "mommy puts medicine into her arm" and "I wanna help you" (with injecting). It makes me cry when I write this.
 
Mörkret said:
That was pretty much how it was with my family. I would have spoken about my heroin addiction, had they wanted, but they did not want to hear about it. My husband always knew and so did my my friends. The saddest thing is that my firstborn child also knew and saw me inject. When he was 2, he said things like "mommy is sick", "mommy puts medicine into her arm" and "I wanna help you" (with injecting). It makes me cry when I write this.
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Are you clean now? I went through that with my wife. Our baby was 2 during the majority of her heroin addiction. He would say "mama is sick again" when she would be dope sick. It was awful but he is doing great now. Everyone makes mistakes. Hopefully at age 2 he will not be affected negatively but who knows. Our sweet little babies are sponges. My wife is not around anymore but I try and be the best father I can be and make sure he grows up with as much love and support as I can possibly give him. I'm sure you are a wonderful mom. Thats all that matters.
 
I hide my opiate use from everyone. At my age, most people don't even know what opiates are,nor are they mature enough to keep their mouths shut.
 
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