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Starting methadone maintenance

Lmao!!!! I overheard some people talking the other day about people actually fighting over being cut in line!
The more I read on blue light about it the more comfortable I am.
I have real bad social anxiety so just going up to someone in there that doesn't work there and asking questions is a hard thing for me to do..lol
 
I'm so happy about this thread! There is so much love and support here it really touches me <3

LOL yea people at the clinic can be really funny about who is where in line! It can get intense, you'll see ;)
 
Oh yes, drama in the line. Yelling over cuts, saving spots, that guy owes me money, that girl sells fake bars... while the antics on display are occasionally quite amusing I keep to myself, and mind my own business.
It's come to blows at my clinic in the line over cutting into line and saving spots for buddies... there's even signs posted everywhere saying no paying for a spot in line! There is a cop in our parking lot during dosing hours now (5-11 am) ever since there was guns pulled during a deal gone bad...
Ouch, they make everyone blow in a breathalyzer every day?! That sucks! I've heard of them doing the mouth swab or a breathalyzer on people that were obviously fucked up in the line- like, they couldn't stand up, nodding out, falling over... it's not required for being able to dose tho, only if u give a reason for the staff to hassle you. Glad to hear that things went easier today, how you were able to have them up your dose with little b.s. this morning (as compared to the other a.m.). As you're starting to see, you really do have to be proactive- you have to stand up for yourself! The nurses at the window can't remember everyone's unique situation. they just see too many people in the dosing windows in one day to remember (or really care, IMO.) Some are awesome though. You'll get to know which are which. Some patients at mine will let people behind go ahead of them to the next available window, because they're waiting for Howard's (nurse) window to be free, they want to dose with him because hes not a dick...
Keep up the good work! I know I never imagined, when I first tried heroin at 15 yrs old, that I was gearing up for well over a decade of struggles, or that I would find myself at intake to a methadone clinic a few weeks before my 29th birthday.... but as my 32nd comes looming in the near future I thank God I did; it is because of the help I've gotten at the clinic I'm here with another birthday to celebrate!
 
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Damn, I already knew my clinic was awesome compared to some of the bigger ones in some cities. My clinic is tiny and super low key, you'd never ever guess it was even there. People just come and go, there's no parking lot and no one hangs out in front of the clinics entrance because we all want to avoid drawing attention. I'm glad my clinic isn't as crazy as yours or some of the others! All the drug dealing from people at my clinic happen at the donut shot a couple blocks away ;)

During the first week, and definitely for intake on the first day, getting breathalyzed is normal.

Keep up the good work IDied!

And it's absolutely true you have to stand up for yourself at the clinic. For instance, my clinic just got a new manager. I used to work at my clinic teaching mindfulness classes and had a really good relationship with the previous manager. I was going to go on a week long retreat at the beginning of January, so I'd need nine takehomes. Normally I only get four each week. They've given me up to 15 takehomes for when I went on a two week retreat last spring. Now they said they'd only give me three takehomes and that I'd have to guest dose at another clinic in the area where my retreat is in Ojai! Bullshit, it's a fucking silent retreat, it doesn't work if I leave the retreat four days out of the very limited time I'm there! Plus the nearest clinic is hours away!

So I setup a meeting with the manager because my counselor who I'd gone through previously as they like us to. I'm going to explain how these retreats are integral to my recovery and by not giving me the appropriate amount of takehomes they're really interfering with my recovery. I will explain how I cannot just leave a silent retreat to guest dose, it just doesn't work that way. And I will explain that this is extremely important for me to do, and if they only give me three take homes for the week long retreat I will have to go four days without my medicine. So hopefully the manager will understsnd, otherwise I'll have to get some extra medicine off the street or go without, which I've done before, but that isn't a good idea for me and no fun, be because it takes away from the meditative experience. Of course I wouldn't tell the manager that I'd have to supplement with street medicine...

Anyways that is an example of how I stand up for myself and my needs at my clinic. It's absolutely true that you have to be proactive and stand up for yourself if going through the normal channels (i.e. the counselor) doesn't get it done.
 
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Lots of good posts and perspectives in this thread. The main advice I have is to build a solid relationship with your direct counselor. Him/her having your back will make all the difference in a not black and white situation which there are tons of at my clinic.
 
Totally, that is really good advice junk! Most of the clinic managers, directors and corporate staff are really nice and cool. Having a constructive working relationship is ideal because it helps them get to know you and realize that you're not interested in fucking around and are taking their medicine for your recovery!

I'm also really happy with this thread, especially given my particularly relationship to the subject matter ;) so much great support here!!!
 
crimsonjunk said:
Lots of good posts and perspectives in this thread. The main advice I have is to build a solid relationship with your direct counselor. Him/her having your back will make all the difference in a not black and white situation which there are tons of at my clinic.
Click to expand...

This is very true and my girlfriend got into a verbal dispute with someone we use to know in line. The girl that she was fighting with was removed from the clinic after punching someone else who accused her of cutting in line but was never removed from the program. As it turns out my girlfriend wanted only to get clean and not cause drama went to the police department but they said they needed something from the clinic... the clinic never reported the issue. They never removed the girl they never did anything. She was so upset that the clinic would side with someone who a week or two earlier was removed from the place for assault, public record so you could view it too, but the clinic still didnt remove her. As it turns out I know the aggressor personally from when we were young so that is just who she is but she also has been in and out of treatment through the facility since 06. My guess is its not so much siding with her but my girlfriend was 2 weeks into the program when this happened so it would have appeared like she was the problem not the girl who was a regular at the place. Dont get me wrong none of it was bad for the verbal argument thats all it was but i was worried my girlfriend, a victim of emotional/physical/sexual abuse in her past would seriously take all of that out on this girl because she built it up forever and someone was mocking her in line, like they did in high school. I was worried it would happen again, and it did 2 more times (they still didnt remove the girl) but i am proud of my g/f for not resorting to violence as she would have in the past.

But my point is it must be a hard decision. We never wanted her to get kicked out of the clinic as a whole but there aer 2 other locations force her to go there. They never did and my girlfriend is off methadone (tapered down doing well) and the other girl disappeared again, as is common for her since '06. But i understand them not wanting to do anything because it jeopardizes recovery and they get a lot of flack because its in the suburbs and the residence tried so hard to stop them from building this location taht if they call in assaults and stuff all the time they might get closed. But to tell my girlfriend they literally cant do anything unless she gets a restraining order and the police saying they cant do anything without a statement from teh clinic (and they wouldnt give one) it was a terrible spot for someone who literally just quit a 3 year dope addiction. We joke about it now but like i said in a different thread; recovering drug addicts are volatile and need more forgiveness then others but they should have done more to keep her away from my girlfriend, who went to the police while on methadone saying she was on methadone having problems at the clinic... not easy for her to do.

But yeah fights and verbal disputes happen a lot in long lines. I see it every holiday and snow storm... but not for much longer!
 
Some clinics are better than others. If possible shopping around is the thing to do, but for most people it isn't really possible because there aren't many clinics and choices outside of a major city like Los Angeles or New York can be very limited.
 
My clinic as fairly small people just come and go.I'm up to 35mg but it definitely doesn't seen to be my dose.I did have a pretty hefty habit.but it really boiled down to how much money I had or what I could trade or front lol
I get a ride everyday now from a med cab at 6:30 a.m! Omg it definitely beats walking and I'm getting more comfortable there and that early in the morning there is like no one there.tommorw will be the 3rd day at 35 but once again I'm asking to get it increased.I'm still irritated and having bad cravings all day plus I'm very restless too! This thread has definitely helped answer a lot of questions for myself and if I never posted it I probably would have never spoken up abd asked for the dose increase.so I'm going to give it another shot in just not where I need to be!
 
Keep up the good work IDied! You're doing great - way better than I did when I started! I'm pleased we could help. I'm glad to hear you're not going to one of the massive clinics.

Keep up bugging them to increase your dose until it holds you for 24 hours and you feel okay. No one can tell you what dose will work best for you, so keep that in mind, but also keep in mind that the higher you go, the more effort/time will have to be spent going back down. Nothing wrong with a really high dose (like 100mg+) if you really need it to be good, but the high you go the further you can fall.

Anyways, you got this my friend. Keep up the good work and take care of yourself. I hope you accomplish your goals with the clinic and your dose!
 
My councillor and a nurse pretty much cleared everything up for me today because I told them I slipped again and they pretty much said we understand and I'm not the only person that does this and I put in to increase to 40mg they told me don't beat myself up because it's all part of the game and the only way I will get booted out is if they find any benzodiazepine in my system.I never have been into benzos I don't like the feelings I get from them.I don't know why they didn't just tell me that before lol
 
Right?! It's so frustrating from the our (the patient's) perspective a lot of time the time, but like it seems like they kinda said, it's all part of the (clinic) game ;)
 
Wow if my clinic kicked out everyone who fails the monthly UA for benzos we would lose probably a third of the patients! Well, we'd lose the ones who don't have a source for clean pee that has got the methadone metabolites in it...

I'm glad you are starting to get used to the ways of the clinic. You have already seen how much easier things go when you are involved and unafraid to speak up, instead of staying quiet and hoping that the staff helps the way you need them to... nice work at effectively and quickly getting attention brought to your situation and worries! I know sometimes it can be nerve racking- as many years as I've been at the clinic I still get anxiety sometimes, but it does get MUCH less intimidating, I promise! I hope you have a cool counselor; like others have said, they can definitely be a great person to have in your corner.

Well you're probably at ur clinic by now... I've gotta start getting ready and round up the essentials- keys, mascara, eyedrops, and the entertaining as always J.C. for our trip to the shitty part of town to go get dosed this morning also...

Looking forward to hearing from you about your continuing progress. And if this will be the first weekend you are going there, make sure you take note what the clinic's hours are on Saturdays and Sundays. ? I've been late before, talk about a crap way to start the weekend!
 
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Me too, I'm looking forward to hearing how it goes for you IDied!

And that is some good advice about the weekend Sweetz, I know more than one of the patients I've worked with who were new and unaware of the different hours their clinics have on weekends and missed a dose. That can be really detrimental, espwcially when you're really trying and just started it.

Something to also know IDied is that, if God forbid you're unable to make it to the clinic some day and didn't already have take homes or work out guest dosing - meaning you will end up missing one of your doses - most clinics won't penalize you if you call them, even if you're letting them know you won't be able to make it super last minute.

So many little nuggets of clinic wisdom out there, how to remember them all? I guess it's become habit for me about 22 months...
 
Ive been taking a med cab my insurance pays for I go real early so im in and out.I asked to get bumped up to 40 Thursday my counselor forgot and I forgot to get the paper signed..he wasn't there today so I went though someone else and got it done! No biggie I'm sure I'll get increased tomorrow!
 
just got approved for MediCal Today, and will no longer have to pay 12 dollars a day to get my 60 mgs dosed! Also they are going to retroactively reimburse me for all $380 dollars in cash that I have paid since I've started methadone maintenance !! :) God bless these United States and the Sovereign State of California!
 
FUCK YA MAN!

Shit, people at the clinic I know who have medical don't pay anything. That is SO awesome you're getting reimbursed. Use that money wisely my friend.
 
Dude I know right! I'm in FL and it's hell trying to get any help with that... and we pay 16 a day! Shit I just did the math, it's cost me $23,000+ since I've been at the clinic! (March 15 will be 4 years to the day)
 
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