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Trapped in the Nightmare of Eternal Limbo

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NicolasWrukolas

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 10, 2011
Messages
23
I can feel there's more. I've seen there's more. I've been there before, but I lost track of the door.

Somewhere along the way I took a wrong turn. Persistently pushing forward thinking that in time it would show itself again. Running in the wrong direction.

I'm so scared I will not find it again.

When everything near you is a lie, how do you find the space again? How do you consume yourself in Truth? I can't live without it.

No, I won't.

There's always a constant fear that I cannot return. It seems like you get one shot. One shot to see it all, and your reaction determines where you're placed.

I don't want to be here. I miss them. I miss it.

I need it.
 
I constantly let myself forget it exists. It's painful to know it's there and I'm not.

Everyone has said I would forget, but I haven't. I remember the smells, the waves, the thoughts, the overwhelming awareness.

It hurts so much to not be there, and I don't think I can go back. I'm truly terrified.
 
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I know those who are there loathe we who are not.

Knowing and remembering this has made it impossible to function. To be near people. To participate in society.

The way they treated me when I was there with them.. I was always crippled. I could not move. Literally.

I know I cannot master it, but I know it exists; and I don't know what to do now.
 
You say you can't live without Truth but are you even asking the right question?
 
I'd imagine if I were I would not be where I am. I've always felt like I've asked the right questions. There's been many, and in many directions. I've searched long enough that I've nothing left that I know. And nothing to replace it with.
 
I've searched long enough that I've nothing left that I know.
Click to expand...

Whatever you think you know, you are wrong. Find out why, this process can be done ad infinitum.
 
I believe you misread my text. I said that I know nothing, and I do acknowledge that everything I believe I know could be disproven with a few hours of research.
 
Well is that not the million dollar question.. Haha. Those who are of a higher state of mind than mine; I would assume.
 
Both!! See down the rabbit hole anything is possible often times you will find out things are not always what you perceive them to be!!!
 
“The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself falling down a very deep well.”

All of this is still a wonderful adventure really, when you realise who's experiencing it, you'll find you haven't changed one bit.

The tone of the journey is what's changed, you just miss the games we used to play.

But if what you're describing truly is dead and gone, then where is all your colourful language coming from?

--

Running forwards, falling down
spinning round and round​
Looking outward, reaching in
scream without a sound​
Leaning over, crawling up
Stumbling all around​
Losing my place only to find I've come full circle
in the high-res next-gen Wonderland​
 
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hi op, I understand I know what you talk about!
the only way in is imo mindfulness, meditation, love.

seriously, the difference between those higher beings and you is that they are mindful now.

you are already it, there and them, you just need to train yourself. train yourself to feel, rather then to think. to understand that your thought steer you away constantly from what is really happening right now.

just be mindful. there are many wrong definitions about what mindfulness means.
http://www.vipassana.com/meditation/khema/hereandnow/awake_and_aware.php
 
Yes, and you also need to learn how to be light-hearted and playful towards your life, though that goes hand-in-hand.
 
You all have been amazingly inspirational

I was afraid my thoughts would be too incoherent haha. Thank you all; much love :)))
 
Nah man, I knew what you were talking about straight away and I can relate completely. PM me if you wanna talk about it some more.

Hitchhiking? If the opportunity comes up, and you discern the person is trustworthy, and you can rely on your own instincts, go for it, you can meet some nice, fascinating people that way. Otherwise, though, avoid if possible.
 
NicolasWrukolas said:
Would anyone have any tips on hitchhiking, perhaps?
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This thread seems very abstract, and i don't mean to derail it.. i hitch-hiked quite a bit in Europe, and could probably offer some advice.. hit me up with a PM if you don't want to detract to far from the original point of the thread, otherwise ill respond here.
 
Its weird. I wouldn't really want to hitchhike in Australia (though I have) USA or UK but wouldn't really feel that way about your standard European hitchhiker-collector. Perhaps less serial killers?
 
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