Psychedelic Therapy

[psychonautical420]

Hey guys

I am currently trying to use psychedelics theraputically. They are the only thing that has really helped me with my problems and I want to use them with the intent of getting to the bottom of them.

I've struggled with anger and depression since I was about twelve years old. I am currently nineteen. I am doing a lot better than before. I've gotten out of my bad situation.

I honestly blame my parents for everything. They love me but are too ignorant and selfish to be good parents. They are basically grown children. I feel like they have never supported me emotionally. I feel like I have never had anyone who truly cares until recently. I moved in with my boyfriend a little over a year ago and he's great.

I'm doing a lot better than I was before, but deep down I am still very angry and depressed.

I feel alone in this world a lot of the time. I don't really have any friends in the area (moving in with my boyfriend meant moving from my home town; I met him online and he was a few hours away.)

I'm not sure how important this background information is, but I feel the need to include it. Please tell me if you would like to know more.

Currently I only have access to legal herbs. At my disposal currently is Ayahuasca (Syrian Rue and Acacia Confusa), I have nine Hawaiian Baby Woodrose seeds (I had more, very theraputic but I hate the nausea so I don't think i will be buying more.) I am growing San Pedro cacti and will soon order some Morning Glory seeds.

How should I go about my therapy? I'm not sure what you guys can even do to help, but it's worth a try. I don't really have anyone to act as a counselor. My boyfriend probably can sometime, but being around altered people makes him very uncomfortable. He isn't against my drug use and is fine with weed now, but my relationship isn't what I want help with.

Last night I was feeling down and felt the need to get to the bottom of it. I ate 8 HBWR seeds. It was helpful in the sense that I was able to surface some emotion and get it out, but it wasn't ground breaking like I had hoped. I realized I feel like I have no one and I feel I'm always alone without help when I need it, but I already knew that I think. Yes, I know using psychedelics when in a negative headspace is highly discouraged and I agree, but I felt I could handle it...and I did. It just didn't help like I had hoped. That is the only time I have done that.

Not too long ago, at the tail of a HBWR trip, I wanted to process with someone and no one was available to talk. I wound up sobbing for a good 30 minutes and decided my parents gave me PTSD. (Yes I trip alone [not always by myself, but I do.] Not the first time. I do want someone there...but...no trip buddies really...)

Does anyone have any advice for me? Has anyone used psychedelics for this type of thing?

Would a breakthrough DMT experience be beneficial? I will do it regardless, so I am not asking if I should Just want to know if you guys think that could be beneficial. I know it can be...but what do you guys think?

I feel like mescaline will be a great teacher, but I only have about 2 feet worth of cacti, along with 2 babies I recently germinated and I would like them all to grow big and strong before I take any of them. I plan to buy a Peruvian Torch cutting or two to brew up soon though.

I have a decent amount of experience with psychedelics, so it's not like I'm walking into brand new territory.

I just want to be happy to the core.

 

[neurotic]

i believe psychedelic therapy can do wonders. the thing is you can't push it, you know TRY HARD to learn something. just go with the flow and have fun. express yourself, let yourself be free... draw, listen to music you life, ponder about things that make you happy and unhappy. the psychedelic headspace is a great place to give you a different outlook on your problems.

i'm not an experienced tripper though... just have done some huge semi-psychedelic doses of THC plus one shroom trip on my back, but i feel they made me different from before, and changed the way i saw things. i look forward to trip more times as i always makes me learn something new. so, yeah... that's my experience and what i think of it... some seasoned trippers might answer you best, these are just my 2 cents...

good luck and peace!

 

[psychonautical420]

Thank you for the response! You give some good advice, I may be trying too hard... I just want to be happy. I mean I'm happy, but deep down... I might want to look at it more as having a nice experience than "I'm going to fix everything right now!" Hahaha can't really set expectations too much I guess

 

[HighonLife]

The thing about Psychedelic psychotherapy is that psychedelics should be used as an adjunct to existing therapy. Psychedelic drugs can certainly provide a level of introspection that can be beneficial and I really like the prospect of hope that psychedelic psychotherapy may bring in the future but I would caution you against relying too heavily on these drugs to 'solve' your problems.

Have you ever seen a therapist? Perhaps try and see a therapist, feel it out for sometime (>month) and then if you still feel compelled, then maybe consider using certain substances to reevaluate some of the things you've been learning and discussing with your therapist and report back to them with these insights/or issues and see if they can't assist you in working through this.

It might not be in your best interest to throw drugs at this problem(s) that you're dealing with even if there is some benefit these drugs have.



Personally I don't think smoking DMT would be that beneficial for what you're describing. It certainly could be but my experiences with DMT have provided me with great insight that was extremely difficult to remember, let alone integrate into my day to day life.

Whatever you decide, be careful and best of luck

 

[perpetualdawn]

I think you understand this now, but it's important to remember that psychedelics are really just tools, like a magnifying glass is a tool. So they can be useful for introspection that can bring up the kind of revelations that help people to make positive choices in their lives. But it's not like pennicillin which will kill the infection. PDs aren't direct in that kind of way.

Psychedelics won't change your life over night. Well they will but they won't... at the same time. Psychedelics can help you see things in a new light, and that can be really useful. Just don't expect too much of them, or of yourself, or your parents or anyone. Nothing is perfect, the world is beautiful and clumsy.

Just take it easy with psychedelics, take it slow and gently. You have your whole life ahead of you to figure your shit out.

 

[neurotic]

^ yeah i agree. see them as tools that will provide you with insights and different views on your daily life, it is up to you to learn from them, integrate those in your daily life and make the change yourself, well at least imo... i don't know much anyway

 

[psychonautical420]

The thing about Psychedelic psychotherapy is that psychedelics should be used as an adjunct to existing therapy. Psychedelic drugs can certainly provide a level of introspection that can be beneficial and I really like the prospect of hope that psychedelic psychotherapy may bring in the future but I would caution you against relying too heavily on these drugs to 'solve' your problems.

Have you ever seen a therapist? Perhaps try and see a therapist, feel it out for sometime (>month) and then if you still feel compelled, then maybe consider using certain substances to reevaluate some of the things you've been learning and discussing with your therapist and report back to them with these insights/or issues and see if they can't assist you in working through this.

It might not be in your best interest to throw drugs at this problem(s) that you're dealing with even if there is some benefit these drugs have.



Personally I don't think smoking DMT would be that beneficial for what you're describing. It certainly could be but my experiences with DMT have provided me with great insight that was extremely difficult to remember, let alone integrate into my day to day life.

Whatever you decide, be careful and best of luck

I have seen therapists in the past. I have seen multiple therapists.. They didn't help, but probably because I was forced... I would like to try that again, but I'm poor as dirt so that won't be happening...at least not now.

I wasn't talking about smoking DMT, I mean oral DMT with MAOI. Smoked DMT is definitely too quick, I think.

I'm hoping sometime I can get my boyfriend to sit down and talk with my while I take a journey. I feel like I can't really talk about my problems sober because...I guess I just feel like they are buried... or it's hard. I'm really not sure. Psychedelics put me in a state of mind where I understand it all better and can bring it up to the surface.

I kind of hate paying someone to talk to me and care to be honest...haha.. Maybe I can find a good therapist sometime. Hopefully I can afford one at some point.

Psychedelics are just the only thing that's really ever helped.

 

[psychonautical420]

I think you understand this now, but it's important to remember that psychedelics are really just tools, like a magnifying glass is a tool. So they can be useful for introspection that can bring up the kind of revelations that help people to make positive choices in their lives. But it's not like pennicillin which will kill the infection. PDs aren't direct in that kind of way.

Psychedelics won't change your life over night. Well they will but they won't... at the same time. Psychedelics can help you see things in a new light, and that can be really useful. Just don't expect too much of them, or of yourself, or your parents or anyone. Nothing is perfect, the world is beautiful and clumsy.

Just take it easy with psychedelics, take it slow and gently. You have your whole life ahead of you to figure your shit out.

You are exactly right... thank you... It helps to be reminded of those things!

 

[slimvictor]

I tried using mushrooms nearly every week for several months as a form of therapy.
They helped me recover from some traumas and pushed me to forgive what was in the past.
Very helpful and useful, but because I was doing it all alone, it was honestly somewhat risky.
I wished I could have worked with a therapist. Damn stupid anti-drug laws

If you know someone who could help guide you, it may be beneficial.

DMT is very useful, but not something to use too often.
It took me 5 years to try it a second time after my first, intense experience, and now 5 more years has passed and I am just beginning to think about it again, for a third time.

I think that exercise and meditation help more profoundly, though mushrooms definitely did assist me in my quest.
But to get the long-term benefits, I had to get my body and mind in better shape.

 

[perpetualdawn]

Meditation and exercise, great advice.

I'd be very skeptical of anyone offering their service or expertise as a PD guide/therapist because there is no qualification or accountability, and a lot if space for abuse, egos, personality cult etc.

 

[sailor bugg]

I find the best introspection and self-forgiveness comes from being alone and simply around a week of straight being awake, no drugs like stimulants to stay awake because they will just make you feel like shit or psychedelics for change in consciousness as the most useful introspection and self-reflection comes from an unaltered state of mind (aside from the change in mental awareness from lack of sleep). Follow a week of being alone in a small space (perhaps just a bedroom) with no one to talk to for the first 4-5 days and then just the internet to talk to friends when you're going thru a bit of tough internalizing. Follow that up with a good sleep on the 7th day and then see a psychologist that you feel you can be open with ( I have seen mine for over 6 years so when I did this I saw him for an hour the next day, best session I have ever had and the strangest thing was he said almost nothing, it was like I was counselling myself) or a counsellor or therapist if you prefer.

For me at least this is the most beneficial type of altered state. If you do something like this you'll start to see the benefits come out around the 4th or 5th day of being awake and alone. I guess it helps I have mad insomnia, I usually get two nights of decent sleep per week so getting to a week of no sleep isn't hard for me to do lol. The mind is an amazing thing, before you start trying to heal yourself with chemicals try just naturally altering your state of mind, the effects are astounding.

The follow up therapy is key though. It'll help you feel as if your insights are vindicated.

 

[Ismene]

Mushrooms have always been the most therapeutic for me.

Oral DMT is a beautiful experience and one I'd recomend but it does cause an initial phase of throwing up that can be a bit unpleasant. Definately a lot more therapeutic than smoking it. Comes on a lot slower and gives you time to come to terms with what's happening to you. Also has the greatest bodyhigh of any drug bar none - once the initial nausea is over it feels like being on the best MDMA multiplied by a million.

 

[TwistafleX]

HighonLife hit it on the head. It's most beneficial when used with other therapeutic or psychological therapy. Changing your life and healing is a very prolific thing even without using compounds. What has always helped me is nature and science, I have a hard time with the "man in the sky" idea. Once you realign your focus and seek answers you will begin to heal, once you begin to heal you can use those compounds as tools to possibly seek answers from another perspective unobtainable on our perceivable dimensions. Again, Some sort of religion/therapy coupled with family/nature and find understanding through question, Then the Aya brew you mentioned could literally change your life. The N,N Surely can't hurt

 

[psychonautical420]

Thank you for the input guys!

I am kind of replying to everyone, forgive me for not using quotes. I'm lazy and shit

I found out that my insurance covers a therapist! I'm thinking I will see about doing that. I actually have heard of a therapist in the area (from my boyfriend and his friend) who just so happens to have written a book regarding psychedelics. Not exactly sure of the details on the book, but I'm thinking it had to do with psychedelic psychotherapy. Of course, I'm not expecting to be able to use them during a session, due to legal issues (though I will bring the idea up sometime, if I wind up seeing them), but if I can have a counselor who understands that, who I can be very open with...that will be great! I do not believe that they are offering their services as a psychedelic therapist, they just happen to have written a book on it... Not worried about anything sketch. It's someone that friends know, apparently. I honestly don't know details, but will find out!

I have a bike and I love to go riding on this trail that happens to be across the street from my house. Yesterday I had the biggest work out of my life doing that. I need to make it a more regular thing. Exercise is definitely great.

Meditation is something that I have been wanting to do for quite some time... I haven't had the self discipline to really do it though wonderful idea, thanks for bringing that back to my attention as a good, therapeutic thing I need to give it a try again... and again... and keep trying...doing. Any advice would be appreciated.

I used my Aya herbs when I first got them, so I do know how that goes The puking is no big deal, it's not like HBWR, where I am nauseous the whole trip. I just have a quick, heavy, purge.

It's too bad I can't get mushrooms (though I have someone in mind I can ask...just don't have a high expectation of them following through, to be honest), they would probably be my first choice... I don't have much experience with them...but I feel they would be perfect.

Nature is wonderful. I do not believe in religion. I love mother earth, I need to spend more time with her, perhaps Family is a few hours away, so no seeing them right now. I don't have the money and my car needs work...no working vehicle of my own. They are my problem too... BUT, I talked to my mom for a couple hours today and we didn't fight or anything :D haha

Might try to have a nice Ayahuasca journey tomorrow, though I won't be surprised if I don't feel like it.

I am going to try not to rush things too much. If I trip I will just have a nice experience without expectations. I know that it is up to me to change things and drugs won't do it for me. I will try to work a day at a time, sober and with psyches.

Naturally altering my state of consciousness is great, but sleep deprivation is not. I appreciate the input, but I do not believe that would work for me. I would just get pissy and kill my boyfriend I'm a bitch when I don't get enough sleep.


Sorry if my reply is all over the place! haha

I feel like I should use quotes, I really just don't feel like it. Shit, that's a contradiction. 8(

 

[TwistafleX]

The insurance thing is great, it will allow you the freedom to find someone you really like, then you can share your thoughts on your personal shamanism. Don't be surprised if they try to discredit it and definitely never go to sessions while experimenting. The world isn't ready for psychedelics. The government has demonized it and halted research on any hallucinogenic compound. Much like cannabis, if will take time for the truth to be revealed. In the mean time, I've found it best to keep the entheogen use private. Most people will never understand, not only are you wasting your breath but they may become concerned. LOL.
Mushrooms are great, No doubt the most ancient and sacred. Indoor cultivation has been modernized and you could easily cultivate a sustainable personal quantity.
Best wishes.

 

[Jesusgreen]

The key for me was tripping with another person and talking to them about my issues. Psychedelics can show you answers themselves but when you have these kinds of issues you can sometimes be less secure in your perception of yourself and your thoughts, and doubt the lessons you learn while tripping, thinking "Oh I was just high" or "Oh but those are *my* ideas, that can't be right" etc. Tripping with someone you trust and talking to them can help reinforce those ideas you have to improve your mood, life, habits and such.

I've successfully rid myself of social anxiety with a single trip 2 and a half years ago. They are very powerful therapeutic tools when used right. I never found them to make quite as profound changes if I took them on my own though.

 

[phatass]

after a trip of 25i-nbome with my ex girlfriend we are now at peace with eachother...allthought things are still not 100% clear ie. she has a serious relationship, but has continued sleeping with me and says she is "in love" with both me and him, but the trip enabled us to really go over all of our relationship, where things went right and where things went wrong, and why we doubt it is posssible for us being both addicts to be compatible, allthough we love eachother very much.... it was a priceless trip.

 

[psychonautical420]

The insurance thing is great, it will allow you the freedom to find someone you really like, then you can share your thoughts on your personal shamanism. Don't be surprised if they try to discredit it and definitely never go to sessions while experimenting. The world isn't ready for psychedelics. The government has demonized it and halted research on any hallucinogenic compound. Much like cannabis, if will take time for the truth to be revealed. In the mean time, I've found it best to keep the entheogen use private. Most people will never understand, not only are you wasting your breath but they may become concerned. LOL.
Mushrooms are great, No doubt the most ancient and sacred. Indoor cultivation has been modernized and you could easily cultivate a sustainable personal quantity.
Best wishes.

I'm hoping to find a counselor who isn't a narrow-minded prick I don't think I can talk to someone who will discount my psychedelic use. I don't think I can talk to someone without being open about that... The counselor (therapist? I don't know) I have in mind sounds like they should be very cool about it. As in, talking to me about it.
I would love to cultivate some mushrooms, but I have worries about that... No legal discussion, unfortunately I've thought about it before...it would be so cheap and I would have unlimited mushrooms! Spores, and spores, and spores... (Have you heard the song Magic Mushrooms by 1200 Micrograms? I just thought of that lol)

The key for me was tripping with another person and talking to them about my issues. Psychedelics can show you answers themselves but when you have these kinds of issues you can sometimes be less secure in your perception of yourself and your thoughts, and doubt the lessons you learn while tripping, thinking "Oh I was just high" or "Oh but those are *my* ideas, that can't be right" etc. Tripping with someone you trust and talking to them can help reinforce those ideas you have to improve your mood, life, habits and such.

I've successfully rid myself of social anxiety with a single trip 2 and a half years ago. They are very powerful therapeutic tools when used right. I never found them to make quite as profound changes if I took them on my own though.

I really need to find a good trip buddy. I don't have one, unfortunately. The good thing is that I never discount my realizations. I hold psychedelics with high regard. It's not just a high, it's a spiritual journey for me. Heavy cannabis use actually helped me with my social anxiety. I used to not be able to speak to people I didn't know...now I'm all social and shit. I still have insecurities about social interaction that I need to work through though. For example, I was feeling really insecure about this thread that I started. lol

after a trip of 25i-nbome with my ex girlfriend we are now at peace with eachother...allthought things are still not 100% clear ie. she has a serious relationship, but has continued sleeping with me and says she is "in love" with both me and him, but the trip enabled us to really go over all of our relationship, where things went right and where things went wrong, and why we doubt it is posssible for us being both addicts to be compatible, allthough we love eachother very much.... it was a priceless trip.

That's great! Psychedelics are great for relationships with people. I remember when I was still in the area (my home town) tripping with my best friend was incredible. At one point, we were sobbing because we loved each other. Good luck with your situation.

 

[vortech]

Please find a guide that is experienced in drug-assisted psychotherapy or energy healing, or a very experienced shaman. At the least, find someone who is an experienced tripper that can assist you, trip-sit, keep you company and help guide you at least minimally. There is a limit to how much progress you can make on your own. It is possible to make breakthroughs by yourself, but the work is generally faster with a guide/therapist. There is also a risk of doig more harm than good to your psyche if you push it the wrong way.
As you probably know, MDMA can be great for PTSD therapy. I also personally believe MXE has incredible healing potential if directed properly. Shrooms/psilocybin would be the other drug to consider in my opinion.

Be safe and good luck on your journey!

 

[Thorns Have Roses]

I'm all social and shit. I still have insecurities about social interaction that I need to work through though. For example, I was feeling really insecure about this thread that I started.

Glad you've improved, if not for the "really" I'd say that you sound like you're within the normative range. Only the most brazen personality would be free of insecurities in the above situations.

They didn't help, but probably because I was forced

Yeah, folks can't force help on you. You have to recognize that you need help, want that help, and trust their insight and recommendations above your own (to think that you know better is tantamount to ignoring your GP's prescription for a physical pathology in favor of whatever quackery is in vogue). Only then can the mental health system work.

I'm hoping to find a counselor who isn't a narrow-minded prick I don't think I can talk to someone who will discount my psychedelic use. I don't think I can talk to someone without being open about that...

Your drug use is incidental to the purpose of therapy, unless it is part of the problem. The purpose would be identify what thoughts and actions are deleterious to your emotional well-being and social functioning, why you have them, and what you can do to change them. Your illicit drug use is not likely a necessary component of positive interaction with yourself, your immediate social connections, or society at large.

Think of a psychiatrist/therapist as a platform for delivering the techniques developed by a collaboration experts (who are too few to counsel the many in need of their expertise), past and present, through observation and experimentation. When you pay to see a psychiatric professional, you are purchasing access of this methodology. Individuals, especially those in need of help due to the negative effects of their thoughts, moods, and behavioral patterns, are ill equipped to determine their own needs, or the scope of their problems.



P.S. As far as psychedelic therapy goes, be sure to check out our B&D thread on the subject.