caseface99
Bluelight Crew
One year today!!! I couldn't have done it without you guys. Seriously, You are all amazing. Each and every one of you. Keep strong and fight the good fight! 
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May getting and/or staying sober thread v. May flowers
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Azure Cloud
Bluelighter
Inspirational!!!!One year today!!! I couldn't have done it without you guys. Seriously, You are all amazing. Each and every one of you. Keep strong and fight the good fight!
Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
Congrats man!!! %)
Space Firebird
Bluelighter
One year today!!! I couldn't have done it without you guys. Seriously, You are all amazing. Each and every one of you. Keep strong and fight the good fight!
Way To Go, Case!
One year today!!! I couldn't have done it without you guys. Seriously, You are all amazing. Each and every one of you. Keep strong and fight the good fight!
Keep doing what is working. My biggest mistake at a year was thinking "I got this handled now". Whoops. But I am back and am feeling pretty good today. Plus I am finally able to eat!!!!!!!!
CF Congrats on a year today! that's a great accomplishment.
Thanks everyone who responded yesterday im feeling a little better today. Been having some weird ass dreams and having been sleeping super well and it's making me a little nuts. I feel like I need some sort of antidepressant to even out my moods....What triggered me yesterday was a nasty panic attack. It was more about not wanting to feel the overwhelming hours after and depression that then follows that
Had a using dream myself last night, smoked some BHO. I woke up and was fucking pissed at myself for a few seconds but then felt relief that it was a dream. I was spending so much goddamn money on weed (on top of my other habits) it was insane. To the point that I was spending money I didn't have on it. Yeah. I will even abuse weed. Oh well, that is who I am.
Overall, feeling pretty dang good today. I know this pink cloud don't last but I am gonna use it while its there.
Space Firebird
Bluelighter
So, do the hours that I spend pushing against it, not using, being sick, work towards the end goal of reducing tolerance, making it easier to quit in the end?
IOW, if I actually manage to taper it down, is the jump in the end going to hurt less than trying to quit CT from a higher dose?
This sucks.
IOW, if I actually manage to taper it down, is the jump in the end going to hurt less than trying to quit CT from a higher dose?
This sucks.
^They certainly do space.. but if the battle put in early ends up justifying by the pain escaped at the end.. I think that comes down to a personal call.
To me a taper makes sense for awhile.. it gets the dose down and pushes an eventual but inevitable conclusion.. that there is never ever going to be a good time, so ive got my dose down and am ready to face the rest of this, yeah it sucks, but we have to do it some time, so Im going to push through come hell or high water, so lets just get this unavoidable god awful shit over with as fast as possible and get on to the healing.
@ Case.. Congratulations on a year. It really does seem like a long time. You made it through what seemed to me a pretty trying year at times. Lots of trials and a lots and lots of victories.
I have been burning the candle at both ends the past few days.. I have also been slacking on important parts of the new way of living that has proven to be so positive for me. I have to recenter and prioritize and organize my life and sail it a back into the proper channels. This week I have been sacrificing whats important for chances at what isn't. Just have to ease the focus back to where it belongs for me.
im dead tired and am turning in
.. but if the battle put in early ends up justifying by the pain escaped at the end.. I think that comes down to a personal call. To me a taper makes sense for awhile.. it gets the dose down and pushes an eventual but inevitable conclusion.. that there is never ever going to be a good time, so ive got my dose down and am ready to face the rest of this, yeah it sucks, but we have to do it some time, so Im going to push through come hell or high water, so lets just get this unavoidable god awful shit over with as fast as possible and get on to the healing.
@ Case.. Congratulations on a year. It really does seem like a long time. You made it through what seemed to me a pretty trying year at times. Lots of trials and a lots and lots of victories.
I have been burning the candle at both ends the past few days.. I have also been slacking on important parts of the new way of living that has proven to be so positive for me. I have to recenter and prioritize and organize my life and sail it a back into the proper channels. This week I have been sacrificing whats important for chances at what isn't. Just have to ease the focus back to where it belongs for me.
im dead tired and am turning in
Space Firebird
Bluelighter
^They certainly do space
To me a taper makes sense for awhile.. it gets the dose down and pushes an eventual but inevitable conclusion.. that there is never ever going to be a good time, so ive got my dose down and am ready to face the rest of this, yeah it sucks, but we have to do it some time, so Im going to push through come hell or high water, so lets just get this unavoidable god awful shit over with as fast as possible and get on to the healing.
I know you're slammed, thanks so much for posting! That is exactly the logic that I am following. Stay in pain until I push it down to about 25% of where I started and then pay the piper at that point. I don' ever expect that it could go all the way down, I just want to know that the pain I feel when I push against it has some value in the end.
Good night to you, sir.; thanks again for being there.
caseface99
Bluelight Crew
Thanks!
Thanks CH, seems so long ago yet at he same time like just yesterday that I was posting in OD first starting to use heroin, reading your own informative posts. I suppose it was actually a LONG time ago, like 5 years or something...
Thanks space!Way To Go, Case!
Thanks, duly noted!
I've definitely dealt with more shit than I ever expected in recovery, more then I dealt with during some of the years i was using to be honest... Couldn't have gotten through it all without you and the other recovery regulars who have been around since last May.
Thanks Zwanya, and congrats to you as well for your own continued sobriety.
Keep it up everyone. Keep kicking ass!
Just A Guy
Bluelight Crew
One year today!!! I couldn't have done it without you guys. Seriously, You are all amazing. Each and every one of you. Keep strong and fight the good fight!
BROTHER -- you are the man! 1 year! Sorry I wasn't there yesterday to celebrate online w/ you. But I'm really proud of you and really happy for you. That's quite an accomplishment, and you fucking EARNED it. It don't come easy. You are the man!
I said if you made it a year I would write and sing a cheesy song congratulations song about it. Well, I guess I'm gonna have to do it, now.
luckygirl79
Bluelighter
Well guys, I'm still here. I'm done counting hours, days. It'll be a month on the 20th. 4/20 is an awesome clean date. Lol
Yeah, I smoke weed on occasion. Not everyday. It's seriously a spiritual herb to me. It keeps my soul right and my anxieties in check.
I'm not on anything at the moment. Today my myofascial, facial pain is acting up. But I know how to control that with meditation and message. Nutrition is key and I've been eating like crap. Also through my withdrawal picked up smoking cigarettes... It took the brunt of my compulsions and eased my discomfort. But it's gross and after the 3 left I have, I pinky promised my 7 year old I won't buy any more. So that's my next hurdle.
My 2 boys started school here in Scotland. After always homeschooling them it's a change. But they love it! And I nedx the break. Just my 3 year old angel girl with me at home all day.
With my lack of energy physically, it's a blessing. But I miss them. It's nice to just be a mom and not teacher too.
My energy is almost back to 50% of normal.
I'm alone here, until sept. Hubby is working at home. He's an owner operator for moving co. Summer is our money time. I had to come back to keep my visa... Just applied for indefinite leave to remain.. I'm not going to obsess over the home offices decision. It takes months. What will be will be.
Today I have no opiate master, I'm starving that ratchet beast. It feels great.
I'm me again. I love that. I'm in control. No fear. Just love.
I still miss my sunny Sarasota, friends, house etc. but this is just another step in the journey. A lesson to learn. Life is good.
Much love to you all.
Yeah, I smoke weed on occasion. Not everyday. It's seriously a spiritual herb to me. It keeps my soul right and my anxieties in check.
I'm not on anything at the moment. Today my myofascial, facial pain is acting up. But I know how to control that with meditation and message. Nutrition is key and I've been eating like crap. Also through my withdrawal picked up smoking cigarettes... It took the brunt of my compulsions and eased my discomfort. But it's gross and after the 3 left I have, I pinky promised my 7 year old I won't buy any more. So that's my next hurdle.
My 2 boys started school here in Scotland. After always homeschooling them it's a change. But they love it! And I nedx the break. Just my 3 year old angel girl with me at home all day.
With my lack of energy physically, it's a blessing. But I miss them. It's nice to just be a mom and not teacher too.
My energy is almost back to 50% of normal.
I'm alone here, until sept. Hubby is working at home. He's an owner operator for moving co. Summer is our money time. I had to come back to keep my visa... Just applied for indefinite leave to remain.. I'm not going to obsess over the home offices decision. It takes months. What will be will be.
Today I have no opiate master, I'm starving that ratchet beast. It feels great.
I'm me again. I love that. I'm in control. No fear. Just love.
I still miss my sunny Sarasota, friends, house etc. but this is just another step in the journey. A lesson to learn. Life is good.
Much love to you all.
caseface99
Bluelight Crew
I'll be waiting.
Hell yeah LG keep it up!! A month is amazing, I bet you are starting to feel great!
Don't trip about smoking weed occasionally, you're clean off opiates and that's what matters. If you can honestly say it's not a problem then it's not a problem, just make sure to keep it in check. If you don't abuse it, and you're still clean off opiates then I'd consider you in recovery. It's YOUR recovery program, and nobody can tell you how to run it, everyone is different and this shit sure as hell isn't one size fits all. For me personally I know smoking weed would be a bad idea - at the same time I have a good friend who smokes occasionally and has been off of meth for 8-9 months.
So anyway keep it up, you're doing great.
Hey lucky
good morning warriors
good morning warriors
Azure Cloud
Bluelighter
Beautiful morning NSA.
So I can honestly say day 8 of no amphetamine ....I'm just gonna leave my comment at that for now; I'm afraid that going into further explanation could be triggering for some here in TDS.
- just another imperfect human.
So I can honestly say day 8 of no amphetamine ....I'm just gonna leave my comment at that for now; I'm afraid that going into further explanation could be triggering for some here in TDS.
- just another imperfect human.
BlueSaffron
Bluelighter
congrats Case
what is this strange feeling I feel today... oh yeah, it's happiness that's not manufactured by chemicals. I remember this
what is this strange feeling I feel today... oh yeah, it's happiness that's not manufactured by chemicals. I remember this
Captain.Heroin
Bluelight Crew
157 days for me
I am having a hard day but I am going to get through this.
I am having a hard day but I am going to get through this.
THECATINTHEHAT
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2005
- Messages
- 8,181
It's not an opiate but it works on the opiod receptors I think.
Doesn't sound like a great sign to me if I'm honest.
Doesn't sound like a great sign to me if I'm honest.