Mental Health Body image issues

[Pagey]

I realize how ridiculously petty this is going to sound considering the other things going on in this forum but I seriously do need help, support, advice, whatever.

I absolutely despise how I look. I have put on an insane amount of weight ever since I moved away to college in september and have never been anywhere near this heavy. I wouldn't say I'm 'fat' but I certainly left the realms of 'thin' that I'd been comfortable in for years. I was severely anorexic a few years ago, spent a bit of time in the hospital for being too skinny. Anyway I got back to a safe weight that I'd been at until about last may/june. I really liked myself like that and was confident abotu how I looked. I've never had any self-confidence in general, mostly because of my destructive/abusive relationships with many people like my dad or a couple ex-boyfriends. I need to feel good about how I look or I literally can't cope with things. It's one thing that I can hold on to and tell myself 'well, at least this is something I can feel good about'.
Anyway ever since about last april when my depression got way worse I've been steadily putting on weight, and especially as soon as I moved a few months ago. I'm honestly addicted to eating. I snack when I'm sad, bored, whatever. Quite frankly it helps me almost as much as the 'real' drugs I use, except it's cheaper and easier to get. And so now I'm humiliated by the way I look, I don't want anyone to be able to see me whenever I go out, I just feel so embarrassed. I feel ugly and disgusting and worthless. I know it's stupid to base my self-worth on my looks but it really was one of the only sources of confidence for me. Whenever someone looks at me I just want to hide because I feel like they're laughing at me inside their heads.
I've tried going on countless diets that had worked for me in the past but I'm not managing. I go 3 days and give in to the cravings and eventually just hate myself more. I've got no self-control at all these adys because I'm in such a bad state of mind in general. My diets have only ever worked in the past when I was relatively happy; so I know I should be focusing on the other issues that are keeping me from being happy right now but I know that'll be work in the very long term and I just can't look like this so much longer. I just saw myself naked in the mirror when I was going to take a shower and just spent the next half hour punching my stomach or whatever part of me I now hate.
And I know if I don't take care of this now I'll just continue putting on weight and then it'll get to the point where I've got 50kg to lose or something. But I just can't do it.

I know it sounds stupid and pathetic but I can't deal with this anymore. I feel disgusting and like no one could ever want me; considering loneliness is another thing that's been making me depressed this is just reinforcing it so much more.
If anyone has any advice on how to deal with these sorts of feelings I'd appreciate it.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

We are all harsh judges of ourselves by nature; you have to over-compensate by knowing you look good.

You have to also consider a certain percentage of the male Bluelight population would lay down their coat in the gutter for you to walk on it... you have nothing to despise.

 

[gradof04]

Hi Pagey, I myself have went thought this so much that it really does suck. I have gained a LOT of weight since getting out of high school. I am now 5'11" (and a half and weigh 290lbs. I look in the mirror every time and I think to myself, how can anyone like/love me. Thankfully I did fine someone who married me for who I am and she is not fat her self. I think what helps me is I try to look toward the future and picture myself in perfect shape, love being outdoors and running around like a little kid! The worst part about this is like you mentioned is the depression that comes with it. Food is a natural thing to turn to when depressed because it provides temporary relief from the depression. I have found that when I get urges like that a handful of carrots and just gobble them down, then that way I'm full on HEALTHY food. Don't be so tough on yourself, and don't forgot to treat yourself once in a while. The best weight program I ever did was a protein diet (I even went to classes for it, similar to the show the biggest looser) It made controlling my weight fun, and I could win MONEY!! Another thing I would do when I get the cravings is I would instantly get into a movie, or go on a walk. Somehow or another, it deterred my mind from it all. Once you start eating healthy for a certain amount of time, your body will just snap, and basically want to puke if you eat any junk food like pizza or anything. I would try a strict protein diet (shakes) and eat all the veggies and fruit you want. I lost 23 pounds in a matter of 8 weeks doing this method! I really feel for you Pagey, and know we are all here for you. This weight game is just as bad as drugs! But with support anything is achievable. Much to you!

 

[DooMMooD]

Wow isn't it funny how things work? I lose weight when I'm depressed, and have a "body image" issue because I feel dont weigh enough (even though I am within the BMI and have a low body fat % ). I feel you on the loneliness, I haven't had a girlfriend in years.

Past that, you know what to do pagey. If you feel bad about it? Exercise. Thats pretty much the only way, and the advice I followed for 6 months. Wish I had the motivation to get back in the gym after this past month or two not being in there.

Society really can be apples and oranges when it comes to men and women.

 

[herbavore]

No need to apologize for this. Food and weight issues are serious business. The economies of the modern world are often based on how internally awful people feel about themselves--it keeps us buying! But putting all the larger forces aside, it is something that I think every woman, and a whole lot of men, can relate to. Food can be a drug and it can be abused in exactly the same ways: by needing instant gratification and temporary relief of emotional discomfort. I have food addiction issues (all the behaviors from rationalizing to dependence) and like with any addiction, I find the concept of "baby steps to change" to be the most useful. Decide to change one behavior only and then stick to that for as long as it takes to instill a new healthier habit; then tackle another. These baby steps can be either psychological ("I will not berate myself or put myself down") or practical (keeping cut up fruit and veggies in the dorm fridge to snack on when you need to eat for comfort). Eating for emotional reasons is all about habits. If you can break down the habits into individual behaviors that you can tackle one at a time it is easier than the whole overwhelming set of them. Overall though, just like with drug addiction, it is an emotional imbalance that needs your attention. Self-loathing is built into so many of us through our families and our cultures. That is the real foe that needs to be dealt with honestly and with persistence. You can't root something like that out in a week--it has developed over a lifetime and become familiar and comfortable in an insidious way. It will take time but the good thing is that it will eventually change not only your relationship with your body and food but your need for drugs and outside acceptance as well.

 

[hefe1313]

Pagey, it kind of broke my heart when i read you were punching yourself in your stomach. Im sending positive vibes yourway, pagey.
I think everyone at some point in time has hated themselves and/or how they look.
You have to dig down deep inside yourself and get past judging yourself.
im going to put it bluntly, you cant expect to look any better if you dont try to change it. you have to put work into it. and it will take time. you didnt get where your at over night.
i suggest to try and meditate on how you are feeling, to get to the cause of why youre eating habitually.
i have learned that running from my problems and how i feel doesn't help.
I had to face my feelings, sit in them, focus on the hate you feel, or however you feel, and just sit in it, focus on it, and it will leave your body. trust me!
what you are doing now is harboring those feelings inside you, and they are eating you alive!
you're a beatutiful person, Pagey. LOOKS DO NOT MEAN SHIT@!!!!
when you love yourself, however you "look" , you will vibrate at a higher level, and attract people with that same vibration.
i could go on and on,
try doing this, and dont be so hard on yourself!
we are who we are. its whats inside that counts. sounds cheezy as shit, I know. lol. but it is true.
good luck on your journey Pagey.

hefe

I realize how ridiculously petty this is going to sound considering the other things going on in this forum but I seriously do need help, support, advice, whatever.

I absolutely despise how I look. I have put on an insane amount of weight ever since I moved away to college in september and have never been anywhere near this heavy. I wouldn't say I'm 'fat' but I certainly left the realms of 'thin' that I'd been comfortable in for years. I was severely anorexic a few years ago, spent a bit of time in the hospital for being too skinny. Anyway I got back to a safe weight that I'd been at until about last may/june. I really liked myself like that and was confident abotu how I looked. I've never had any self-confidence in general, mostly because of my destructive/abusive relationships with many people like my dad or a couple ex-boyfriends. I need to feel good about how I look or I literally can't cope with things. It's one thing that I can hold on to and tell myself 'well, at least this is something I can feel good about'.
Anyway ever since about last april when my depression got way worse I've been steadily putting on weight, and especially as soon as I moved a few months ago. I'm honestly addicted to eating. I snack when I'm sad, bored, whatever. Quite frankly it helps me almost as much as the 'real' drugs I use, except it's cheaper and easier to get. And so now I'm humiliated by the way I look, I don't want anyone to be able to see me whenever I go out, I just feel so embarrassed. I feel ugly and disgusting and worthless. I know it's stupid to base my self-worth on my looks but it really was one of the only sources of confidence for me. Whenever someone looks at me I just want to hide because I feel like they're laughing at me inside their heads.
I've tried going on countless diets that had worked for me in the past but I'm not managing. I go 3 days and give in to the cravings and eventually just hate myself more. I've got no self-control at all these adys because I'm in such a bad state of mind in general. My diets have only ever worked in the past when I was relatively happy; so I know I should be focusing on the other issues that are keeping me from being happy right now but I know that'll be work in the very long term and I just can't look like this so much longer. I just saw myself naked in the mirror when I was going to take a shower and just spent the next half hour punching my stomach or whatever part of me I now hate.
And I know if I don't take care of this now I'll just continue putting on weight and then it'll get to the point where I've got 50kg to lose or something. But I just can't do it.

I know it sounds stupid and pathetic but I can't deal with this anymore. I feel disgusting and like no one could ever want me; considering loneliness is another thing that's been making me depressed this is just reinforcing it so much more.
If anyone has any advice on how to deal with these sorts of feelings I'd appreciate it.

 

[gradof04]

One other thing here, is we are growing up in a world that promotes people to get fat or be anorexic. There is no between. Me personally, I couldn't date an anorexic person, nor a huge 500lb woman. I don't like feeling their rib bones pushing on me when I hug them. The worlds "ideal" image of a women, is a LIE! Don't be harsh on yourself. Find friends to go to the mall with and just have fun. Who cares what anyone else thinks. God made you who you are. On top of that it sounds as thought you have a wonderful personality. I know it's hard to stay positive, but just know, there are millions out there just like you and I.

 

[InvisibleEye]

Once you start eating healthy for a certain amount of time, your body will just snap, and basically want to puke if you eat any junk food like pizza or anything.

This is true. If you manage a week without sugar, you'll be totally disgusted the next time you eat anything that contains even a tiny amount of sugar. That was actually the most sucessful diet I have ever tried - it was not easy at first because I loooove sweets, but it was worth it. That was years ago, and I still can't put sugar in my coffee because I am still a little disgusted by the taste of it. The human body has this wonderful way of adapting to pretty much everything...

I'm far from being thin, I have been overweight since my teenage years. But I find that my body issues tend to disappear whenever I start doing meaningful things. Getting involved in stuff that is important to me (studying, taking care of animals, volunteering, etc) makes me forget about superficial things that I dislike about myself. I know that I should lose weight and live a healthier lifestyle, but now I feel optimistic about it because getting involved in meaningful projects has considerably helped me to know myself, and my self-esteem is much higher because of that.

 

[bagochina]

If you don't like how you look or feel, change it. Make a plan and stick to it. Become happy!

 

[Wolfmans_BrothEr]

we usually tend to see ourselves in a worser light than we actually are. were always more critical of ourselves. and we ALL do it

i lift and i know for a fact i have that disorder where ill see myself smaller than i actually am. people will tell me im getting jacked and when i look in the mirror i see a skinny fuck.

the worst part is we dwell on it and it leads to us feeling worse about ourselves which leads to more destructive patterns, its a vicious cycle

its pretty cliched but anyone who judges you on your appearance isnt worth your time. in one of my rehabs one of the sayings was "those who mind dont matter and the ones who matter dont mind" its true

i was a personal trainer for a few years and a very easy way to aid weight loss is to drink a 16oz glass of water before every meal. it fills you up and helps speed your metabolism. it wont make you look like a supermodel but its a start

and due have u ever heard of the freshman 15? a majority of people who go off to college gain weight at first. its due in part to stress and eating a bunch of unhealthy cafeteria food

the benefits of being young is its generally easy to bounce back. you can get to your target weight in as little as a month or two without killing urself in the gym or counting calories. it starts with the little things, make a conscience effort to eat better. walk to class instead of hopping on the shuttle. if your getting drunk all the time do it with light beer or cut out the sugary wine etc. those types of things will lead to weight loss but more importantly it will raise your confidence and self esteem. the food we eat and activities we partake in can greatly affect our mood.

ive been very self conscience about my image, made changes, and in as little as month or 2 made a complete turnaround. its possible, and i suspect were close to the same age which means its possible for you as well

 

[TCMVegas]

Would it be okay to ask you, Pagey what kinds of weight we're talking about, or your height? Something tells me it's not nearly as severe or extreme as you feel.

I'm personally way too skinny. 6'1" and 20 year old man... but only weigh 135 pounds. It's a turn-off to girls, just in terms of evolution, you don't want a man who looks like he's starving.

 

[Vaya]

One thing in particular resonates particularly loudly with me after reading your honest and heart-felt thread, Pagey. But first, I'd love to thank you for having the courage to vocalize elements of your internal world to us. It takes a *lot* of just that - courage. And you are courageous

With respect to the issue you're discussing and some of the responses you've received, it struck me for the first time in a while how something like the following can be, and is in fact, many of our realities:

No need to apologize for this. Food and weight issues are serious business. The economies of the modern world are often based on how internally awful people feel about themselves--it keeps us buying! But putting all the larger forces aside, it is something that I think every woman, and a whole lot of men, can relate to. Food can be a drug and it can be abused in exactly the same ways: by needing instant gratification and temporary relief of emotional discomfort.

I'm a skinny guy, like others who have posted here. Try to gain weight but end up paradoxically losing it and feeling overwhelmed by feelings of judgment from others, self-discrimination and more. I, too, have met many women who struggle with being overweight, and who (quite frankly) detest hearing about how I worry about my lack of weight (shoulda just kept my mouth closed, I suppose, in the first place )

But in all seriousness, self-esteem is linked to so many predictors of overall health and well-being, and enough emphasis cannot be placed upon how important it is to strive (at times, against all odds it may appear) to love ourselves and to recognize that our personal habits may or may not be the healthiest, but we do have the capacity to change our habits. For me, sometimes it takes eating breakfast over the span of two hours in order to get the food and nutrients into my body. I never have an appetite, and am usually extremely gratified when I do feel like eating food.

And I realize this is far and away from what you are experiencing. But in all honesty, my point is merely a reflection of herbavore's well-articulated statement regarding the fact that many women, and more men than most may realize, share feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness directly related to our real or distorted concepts of our body images. And therefore, there truly is no reason to apologize for posting what you needed to share in order to possibly spur the healing process. And oftentimes I have noticed that once the issues I am dealing with psychologically are laid to rest in a proper fashion, those issues I have with my physiological self tend to dissipate as well - waning in both intensity and influence until I find myself left with a stronger core concept-of-self than I had thought myself capable of achieving in the throes of my shame and misery.

Since going off to college is an experience naturally fraught with fear and uncertainty, it does not surprise me that during this time, you may have found yourself gaining a little weight. The "freshman 15," I always believed, extended its scope far beyond the limited realm of merely drinking too much beer once away from home. In fact, the longer I learn and grow, the more convinced I am that carbohydrate-infused beverages have anything to do with the trend in weight gain we see amongst many college students today.

Other than becoming engaged in a completely new academic and social lifestyle/environment, has anything of significant negative impact befallen you in the past year? Something that may have, in turn, lead to you seeking food as a form of self-medication? If there was/were such incident(s), my gut tells me it would benefit your global health beyond words to address those issues before ruminating on their physical manifestation.

Regardless of how much you weigh, or do not weigh for that matter, we must love ourselves if we have reasonable expectations for our long-term happiness and prosperity. And in that spirit, let's talk some more about it

Looking forward to hearing from you...

 

[Black Rabbit of Inle]

Pagey, I understand completely how you feel. The radical changes in your lifestyle have pushed you out of your comfort zone and you have developed a kind of coping mechanism by eating. You could try replacing the sugary, treats with fruits and healthy snacks. It may be hard to try and cut them out completely but like gradof and Invisible say, you will get to a point where your body will reject the junk foods and sugars on it's own.

I always feel like I have no right talking to people with issues about weight because I'm a skinny guy myself, however, I have a borderline severe case of Body dysmorphic disorder and understand the self loathing and aggression (towards yourself) that comes along with both.

who (quite frankly) detest hearing about how I worry about my lack of weight

I used to get this a lot within my circle of friends. No one could understand why I hated my own body the way I do because I am a tall skinny guy. It wasn't until I explained the dysmorphia to them that they kind of had an idea of what I go through on a daily basis.

 

[wrongdose]

Hey Pagey, how much does it suck to not like how you look! And unfortunately all the acceptance talk doesn't help either. I think herbavore made some really good points and I agree with Invisibleye about the sugar. I do believe that looking good is important for almost all of us...but that means different things for different people, just making an effort with clothes and make-up makes a huge difference to your confidence and can help you stick to eating well and otherwise being good to yourself.
My tips, and I don't profess to know anything special, I can just relate to where you are right now (I'm normally 52kgs but recently put on 11kgs thanks to seroquel).
I snack on carrots - easy to find and don't mind the taste
I use a protein shake as a meal replacement in the morning
I usually cut out everything with sugar because it effortlessly keeps my weight at 52kgs.
I exercise...but this is the one I find hardest. I usually do an hour of Vinyasa yoga most days.
I hope one of these ideas might help. Honestly, Pagey, I do think you are probably quite small. However I also respect that it's how you see yourself that matters. My best advice is to look as good as you can at the weight you are and make one change a week (eg. Bfast shake). Getting some exercise will really help you feel better too.
I bet you are just gorgeous, I wish you luck being the best you x

 

[Pagey]

Thanks so much for the answers everyone, I really appreciate it. I'll try to answer everything.
CH - that's nice of you to say. I used to be like that, like I'd have lots of little insecurities about how I looked but I realized people thought I looked good so I just figured I was exaggerating it to myself. Now though there's been such a big change that I can't even convince myself of that, at all, anymore. I also think maybe because the weight gain was so sudden, I didn't really have time to adapt myself.
gradof4 - yeah, I do try to picture myself as I would like to be and it does help for a few days but ultimately I just always seem to give in. Thanks very much for the advice, I'll try those techniques to get my mind off the cravings and stuff when I have them. Somehow I always manage to get through cravings when it comes to drugs but when it's food...
DooMMooD - I signed up with a gym back in London where I study and had been going every day, really felt better about myself but then I had to go home for the break and so I haven't really exercized in a couple weeks aside from some walking. I'll try to start going to the gym daily again as soon as I get back there. The thing is I know if I want to lose weight I'll have to cut down on the calorie intake as well and that's what I really have trouble with.
herbavore - the idea of baby steps seems like a good one and to be honest, I'd never really even considered it. Since I'd obviously like to see an immediate result maybe I cut down too much (although by no means have I been putting myself, or trying to put myself, on a super restrictive diet). I guess it's important to remember the first step is to lose 1kg, not immediately 10.
hefe1313 - I do know the underlying causes of why I eat compulsively and stuff. The thing is these are causes that are very probably going to take a very long time to be resolved (although I am working on them) so even though I know it'd be easier to lose weight once I've dealt witht hem, I don't really want to have to wait til then it's true looks aren't everything, but since I've always got this sort of angst that no one will ever want me ('I absolutely hate who I am so why would anyone think different?' is basically the idea) so I feel like my looks are the one thing I can sort of control to make myself be wanted.
InvisibleEye - how quickly does that disgust for sugar/unhealthy things set in? Can't imagine such a thing....haha. I'd like to be able to get more involved in meaningful things but my life just seems so empty at the moment, I've lost interest and motivation for everything.
Wolfmans - that's definitely true, especially since I've always been absolutely unable to judge how I look (when I was anorexic and weighed 40kg for 1m68 (apparently that's 88lbs for 5'5) I thought I needed to lose weight....but well that's anorexia I guess). However my friends have told me they did notice I put on weight, albeit not nearly as much as I actually have. I have indeed heard of the freshman 15 and I guess that's got a lot to do with my situation but, well, if I don't lose them...
TCMVegas - I'm a little over 5'5 and 163 lbs. I was 138lbs when I was at a good weight and I've put on those extra 25lbs in a matter of about 3 months. My target for now is to get to 150. If I get to that I'll feel okay with myself again.
Vaya - haha yes, I have to confess I'd probably be one of those women who doesn't like hearing about your inability to gain weight but I do understand it's got to be just as frustrating. I've definitely started to eat much, much more unhealthily ever since I went away to college. I'm drinking almost every night for a start (though I've stopped with the beer), the cafeteria food is very greasy and also now that I'm much more independant with my money, I tend to buy snacks much more than I used to. It's definitely clear how this weight has been put on, and I've got a few friends who say they've also experienced the same thing ever sicne they arrived so it's definitely not just me. A ton of negative things happened to me this past year that have made me feel hated/ashamed/disgusting/worthless/alone, all of which I know contribute to the over-eating. As I mentioned earlier though, I know most of these will take a very long time to be resolved and since I'm feeling just so horrible about how I look I really don't think I can wait that long thank you so much.
Re-distributed - yeah, I'd never actually understood before how anyone could hate themselves so much. I have this friend who's absolutely gorgeous but feels really bad about her weight (being too heavy, even though she's not) and told me she'd, for instance, never be able to be naked in front of a guy looking like that. I didn't get it because I'd tell her, well if you're in that position it means he thinks you're attractive so what does it matter if you don't think so? But I totally get it now actually. It's an awful feeling.
wrongdose - thank you for your advice, I'll try to abide by it. I've been doing good with the exercise, it's really the food that's the problem for me. Another issue is I'm in catered dorms so I don't have any cooking facilities - so my 'healthy eating' options and unfortunately limited. I'll try to snack on carrots and stuff though, that sounds like a good idea.

once again, thanks so much

 

[SuperCool]

For what it's worth, I know how you're feeling. I used to weigh 120kg at the most and felt like you are describing but eventualy made my way to 80kg.
There are good news and bad news and I actually know a lot about this subject so if you'll need more detailed help just send a message to my inbox.
The good news is that the way you eat is more important then if you excersie, yet, the more the better. Bad news is, you said you've put on quite a bit so you might have to work out as well to look the way you want. Because eating a little will only make you lose weight(not necessarily 100% fat but very little percentage) quicker but you will have extra skin which won't be worth all the time. Either way it CAN'T happen over night, but you CAN do it, you're just not doing it. Sorry to be so straight forward but from a logical perspective the fact you can't at the moment is only because you're doing something else - eating.
Dieting has a science to it, that's just the way it is. Food is formed from its ingredients: carbs, protein, fat, fibers, colesterol... But a breakfast shake of protein or stuff like that won't make 0.01% of a difference. You can either take my word for it or not but I'm talking from experince of losing 40kgs! For 2 years I've listened to a friend (a bodybuilder) talk on and on about dieting and working out so eventualy i knew the information in memory and finaly got down to using it. It will make you feel better to know that I've tried for like 2-3 times, losing 10-15kg pretty quickly then gaining them back. This was like 2 years. But at the final time I didn't let myself fall again. So... Beating yourself up or not, if you want it-youll get it.
OK! Enough about my boring story, here is what you need to know! Fat makes you fat? MYTH! Fuck that! Don't you listen to that theory!(But don't eat infinite quantities too, it aint like Protein) I'll prove it wrong any day! Protein? good for building muscle, no need to put any boundry for protein. High colesterol is bad only if you are really young or really old, otherwise - a myth aswel! A calorie is a calorie! 1500 calories a day should make you lose weight slowly and steadily. Now... Carbs... That's the real tricky part. I limited myself to 100 grams of carbs a day. Carbs wil seriously help you put on more weight then you want to, so 100 grams is a bit low but enough energy wise(Mostly found in bread, sugar is made of it basicly) Fibers will help your body process food better.
Google calories calculator, you can quickly find sites with almost all types of food to add to a list you create. It will show you the calories and the ingrediants. VERY useful.
If you're not so lazy I advise you to try starting running/walking 1-3 times a week(the more the better)
I hope you'll use what I wrote because thats the really helpful stuff... I hope you start pushing yourself soon so you suffer less and less
By the way, I think you're already pretty hot Just my personal opinion.

 

[Pagey]

Thanks for the answer
I do actually have some experience with weight loss. When I was 13 I lost 30kg in a couple months although that's what led me to the anorexic state and all so it didn't end very well, but still. I remember at the time I wasn't cutting down on calories too much but I was eatingo nly healthy foods and going for runs every day. I don't mind the exercise bit so much now - I have an hour walk a day to go to class and I'd been spending about 1h/1h30 in the gym every day as well before coming home for the break. 1500 calories a day is a good goal and is what I'd been aiming for but I just get these massive cravings after a few days and then just give up and go back to the ~2000/2200 I eat if I'm trying to stay stable. I'm happy to hear about your own experience though (congrats btw), it's motivating to hear that others have done it; especially since I only have about 10kg to lose this time round.
And thank you haha.

 

[kaywholed]

An hour of walking and 1/1.5 hours in the gym is more exercise that you should be doing on a 1500 calorie diet. When you cave in and eat too much, you are getting those cravings because your body NEEDS MORE FUEL.

Try to create a long term stable diet and exercise plan, that you can maintain and enjoy, and then start worrying about weight loss through gradual calorie deficit.

FYI you are not fat and don't need to lose weight.

 

[Dave]

FYI you are not fat and don't need to lose weight.

This. Although I know from personal experience that body image issues aren't rational, it's good to convince the rational brain at least that you have a lovely, healthy physique.

There's a lot of good in this thread, so I've little else to add other than solidarity. I have never liked how my body looks, and while I've made strides in both improving my appearance and self-perception, I doubt that I ever will. For myself, I use my self-loathing as motivation to go to the gym, but while that's not uncommon, it's horribly unhealthy. Take what you will from that.

 

[cj]

You have to also consider a certain percentage of the male Bluelight population would lay down their coat in the gutter for you to walk on it... you have nothing to despise.

LOL thats what I was thinking. You are extremely sexy pagey so dont lie to yourself.