Former Opiate Addict Living At Home With An Alcoholic And Oblivious Parents

[pintopowered]

Goooooood morning bluelight! Its been a very long time since I have posted, so let me bring yall back up to speed. About 6 months ago this page literally saved my life, no joke, it gave me the courage after sitting back for many months reading page after page of other posters before I finally was able to step forward and admit to my entire family about the addiction I had that was killing everything about me. I'm 27 years old, and never previously had a drug problem, or issues with alcohol, my addiction started with Dental surgery, and a tiny little script of 5/325 Hydrocodone (Ironically I still have the bottle to this day that started it all) Shortly after the surgery I had back issues from work (Equipment mechanic) the doctor I was seeing at the time had a remedy, Pain Killers and Muscle relaxers yayy!!!. Needles to say a script of 5MG pills turned into a script of 20MG pills within a few months, and obviously I was hooked. I was so ignorant to my addiction that It literally took me 3 months to realize I was actually addicted, I took them every single day around the same time, every single day with food, and by mouth. Low and behold my doctor cut me off by the 4th month, no weining me off, no detox option, nada. So for the first time i experience withdraw. Did I mention I was very naive this entire time? Well of course I wasn't going to just accept being cut off, I picked up my phone and after racking my brain called the shadiest friend I had, 2 hours later I was headed to pick up my first cellophane bag full of joy. The next 3 months spiraled out of control, I always purchased from the same person, and I continued to take them to a doctors T, by mouth, with food, same time a day, bumping up in 10-15ish MG a week. In those 3 months I turned into the biggest piece of shit possible, I stole from family, friends, and just about anyone that I could manipulate into giving me money. In the end, a solid months worth of fake press pills are what ended my long run, my final dose being 260ish MG a day, sometimes taking it twice a day. That final month, my mind had turned cloudy, my memory was so bad, and I literally couldn't function. I told my parents and friends everything, and 3 days later I was in Detox. My toxicology report showed a mixture of Benzo's, Opiates, and Other odd things I never intentionally stuck in my body, hence the memory loss and cloudy. For years now I have lived at home with my parents, my wife, 2 children, and my brother. My brother is a alcoholic. He used to drink daily, but now holds a job down that prohibits him from doing so. The moment hes off the clock however the drinking starts. Now, I love my brother, when hes sober. When hes drunk though, its Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde to an extreme. He holds deep resentment towards me and always has, I dont blame him as I stole from him my entire life, and even worse when I was addicted. There is nothing more cowardly then stealing from family instead of selling your own possessions. During recovery, every single time my brother drinks, he comes at me either mentally or physically, I'll get texts from him telling me to kill myself, or that I should do my kids a favor and kill myself. Hes even gone so far as to walk into my kids room many times while intoxicated and talk to my 2 and 6 year old daughters that daddy is the worlds biggest piece of shit. My parents have known of his issues for years, and yet simply do nothing about it, despite my pleas. Both my parents parents where alocoholics growing up and they both have some heavy mental scars from them. My brother will not accept help, nor will he seek it. I have begged him to seek recovery, and yet he refuses to acknowledge his issues, I understand that its completely up to him to accept his problem and fix it, however my parents don't seem to understand that some guidance is needed. My mother has no issues with my brother drinking, she seems to think that its ok for him to have just 1, or 2, despite him having far more and she just doesn't realize it. I have been the spot light this entire time as the family pill junkie, being told I must go to Meetings or I would be kicked out of the house, told I must do certain things or I was no longer welcome. I need your input Bluelight, is there really any difference between an Addict and an Alcoholic? To me where all the same in one way or another, but I need some Unbiased opions here.

 

[aihfl]

There's no difference. An alcoholic is simply an addict whose DOC is alcohol. You're brother isn't going to do anything about it because there haven't been any consequences. Don't worry about him and just be the best you, you can be.

 

[EPL1]

I agree with aihfl.

Also, your brother sounds unhappy with HIMSELF and he's using you as his punching bag. Please, I know you love him, but try to limit comtact with him, you don't need the stress, especially when you're trying to turn things around for yourself.

I'm really proud of you for even coming here and sharing.

If you ever want to chat I'm here for you.

Love and support,
your friend,
Ash.

 

[Debbie Combs]

Wow, horrible he would talk to children like that. I would be livid! Is there anyway you can get out of there?
Brother sounds spoiled.
my family has same stigma. Alcohol is OK, Pill no............good luck!
The ones posted above gave great advice. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

[TripMcnealy]

I'm going to say they are both obviously just different words for different forms of substance abuse. The difference between an addict and an alcoholic is the same as the difference between one addicts DOC and another's.

In NA, I relate a whole lot more to other full blown heroin addicts/opiate users vs. Marijuanna and speed addicts so on. It doesn't mean we don't have a shit ton in common or don't learn from one another.

Addiction has many different forms and levels. A lot of recovering/current alcoholics have a tendency to seperate themselves from "drug addicts." I think it's simply because of societal views on drugs altogether. AA is a seperate entity from NA because it's by far, the most abused drug in the world and alcoholics relate better to other alcoholics. To say all addictions (including alcoholism) are exactly the same or completely different, is wrong.

 

[yubacity]

Like some other posters have said on here think of yourself and let your brother sort his own problems.If he is not ready to quit no amount of talking to him will make much differancr.You also have to stop thinking to much of what you did while addicted there is not much you can do about the past.Get yourself better then try to make amends also talking to a man's children putting their father down is bang out of order.