I've Struck a Good Balance (I think)

[Lovecraft]

I've always swayed between the two extremes of total abstinence and full on addiction. During the abstinence parts, I got really into physical fitness. But I could never quite make the abstinence, or any path stick; Hence, my fitness efforts went by the wayside as well. And while abstinence was too difficult, full blown addiction was hell. And every time I'd get caught out, I'd just want to be sober again. And round it went.

Now, in my 40's, I think I've finally found the balance. I'm able (for the last couple years at least) to moderate my use of substances to a point where my indulgences don't really interfere with my fitness goals, which are to maintain a healthy weight and performance of the recommended amounts of exercise per week.

I'm not sure how this happened. I know that for years I was in 12 step programs that said it's not possible and I believed it. But, in recent years I started questioning that this philosophy may not be right for every "user".

As a result of striking this balance, I have times where I indulge my vice for various substances, while at the same time am in the best shape I've been in for decades.

 

[Lovecraft]

This is what I'd say to myself coming from the place I'm at now:

You're playing a dangerous game. Addiction has fooled you into temporarily thinking you're okay. But it's in control and eventually will knock your dick in the dirt.

 

[dragonix]

Thanks for sharing Lovecraft

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

But it's in control and eventually will knock your dick in the dirt.

Sure about this?

 

[dragonix]

I hope you found some I am still on a teeter totter need to get my meditation routine back on track