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  • Trip Reports Moderator: Xorkoth

~4.5 Hits of LSD - Experienced - Breakthrough / Bad Trip

ScrambleMan

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 21, 2018
Messages
2
So this experience occurred roughly half a year to a year ago, I honestly forget when this happened. Anyway, I had hit up my boy for 5 tabs of what he referred to as some great acid. My plan was to break through or experience ego death through meditation and experience all that LSD had to offer. I thought I was prepared for pretty much anything it could throw at me and I was definitely wrong haha my cockiness was definitely too high. So I meet up with this guy to get the tabs and he was already tripping and looked like he was having a great time, and he didn't actually have any scissors to cut the sheet so he ripped it down the side.

I should clarify that this sheet was composed of half-strips. So instead of having 10 rows of 10-tab strips, it had 20 rows of 5-tab strips.

He ripped off one strip as I was gonna take 3, my friend would take 2. One end of the strip was wider than the other, leaving another half of each blotter attatched to the three he had given me. The blotter wasn't perforated; this is why it was hard for him to rip it in a perfect strip so there was really no way of knowing exactly how much LSD I had taken. I go with ~4.5-5 tabs because that's what it looked like.

I dosed around 9-10pm and I was coming up hard within 15 minutes, this is where I told my friends I was coming up hard and they all doubted me saying it was most likely placebo. It wasn't, I could see tracers from my hands and phone, and knew I was in for a crazy trip. Skip forward an hour or so, I'm at my friends house tripping balls in his basement and I can see very carnival-themed visuals. Some of these included colorful pulsating twisted pyramids coming out of the walls pinging me information (it was a crazy trip after I started meditating and seeking basic knowledge this started happening intensely).

I eventually closed my eyes and thought of some weird conspiracy that I feel like I had made up on the spot but had very crazy deja-vu towards for some reason. The "conspiracy" was that a certain phrase was repeated during every day conversation, on repeat, constantly but we just never realize it. At this point I knew that I was going to uncover this crazy "secret" about our reality and I would see reality for what it truly was. A mantra sort of appeared in my head "THIS is it, it is THIS, THIS is life" and every time "THIS" was said in the mantra, my body felt this great warmth. I felt like I was a buddhist praying in meditation for some reason, it felt like I was experiencing the beginnings of nirvana. It was a very religious experience, shockingly since I would not describe myself as a religious person. At one point, I decided I wanted to give my soul to "this". This being the human experience of life, I wanted to get the full experience of life.

After like 5 minutes of feeling this mantra and its effect, I stopped and focused on simply breathing. I saw a pink being in my mind's eye and they said "The answer is love". I know, cliche but it made perfect sense to me at the time. I decided to tell everyone I was with that the answer to life was love. I probably seemed crazy as fuck to them so they just nodded and said "yeah man you understand it now haha" just something to make me feel comforted I suppose.

At one point I said "I get it finally! We are all one! Holy shit we are all one dude!!!" and my friend said "Yeah dude we're all one like you're dead now, I'm dead now, we're ONE". This is when it felt like I was actually dead and I was like holy shit I coulda been dead my entire life and I'm just in an illusion that I'm alive... I decided not to think about that one because that just hurt my brain, but I recognized that I had achieved ego death since I couldn't remember anything about reality. Phones were absolutely useless. Social media seemed completely alien and just wrong, and I had no concept of friend groups just a concept of experiencing.

Skip forward another hour and I am somehow in a car, I don't remember walking to the car but do remember opening the door and getting in. We were just sitting in the driveway and my friend had a sub in the car so the bass was heavyyy. I wanted to see what that felt like =D

I ended up being in that car listening to dark beats that my friend was creating live on a drum pad app on his ipad, for about 3 hours. I was in what can only be described as a hell-loop during that time though. My friend played a song that he made and titled "Stairway to Hell" because it had a demonic voice in the beat. The beat started and I heard the voice say "Domolomowomo SATAN IS GOD 666" and then the bass dropped...I was definitely weirded out as I knew my mind had distorted that demonic gargled mess of a sound into something understandable. I had heard in my mind directly after that happened "You have now connected to the universal consciousness" and then heard demons cackling and laughing. The mantra that I had repeated earlier came back during the seemingly infinite thought loop that I could not control or escape. It went "THIS IS IT, IT IS THIS, THIS IS SATAN, SATAN IS LIFE".

By this point you probably assume I am a satanist, but I am far from it. I had never even acknowledged the possibility of Satan being anything close to real until this experience. I had been mentally tormented in that car, and even asked my friends what they were doing to me cause they were fucking with me at one point since I was scared in the back saying "no no no please no stop" and they responded "Taking you to meet your maker, Lucifer" in very dark demonic voices. I eventually made it out of the car and out of whatever the fuck that torturous thought loop I was stuck in, and slept like a baby. I asked my friends why they'd told me they were taking me to meet lucifer and they said they would NEVER say that to anyone while they were tripping because that's just fucked up. So I definitely hallucinated that. This made me kinda scared of acid in general since I never usually think of things like that, and they were just shoved into my perception because I took that substance.

The weirdest part about this entire experience is that it felt like I had been shown the "truth"...that this reality and the universal consciousness are hell and spirits bound and stuck, and I told my friend that I felt like I had been shown the truth by acid and he said "I think I know what you mean by being shown the truth..." He said without hesitation "You just gotta know that like, everything in reality somewhat revolves around the devil" and my mind was blown. I hadn't even told the kid what I had been shown and he said he experienced the same thing.

What do you guys think? Was all of this just a crazy illusion created by my mind for me to struggle through and learn something from? Or was it demons fuggin wit me? Also have any of you guys had an experience similar to this one?

I feel like I should mention that I am fully recovered from this trip. I was a bit worried about becoming "perma-tripped" or getting stuck in an acid trip because of the flashbacks but they stopped completely, and I'm very confident in my mental stability currently compared to right after this happened. So no, I am not perma-tripping :\

EDIT: I forgot to mention that after this trip I started to notice that while watching certain rap music videos I would sense that they were trying to hypnotize people with the video....like I could feel my subconscious being manipulated by music videos and satanic imagery in music videos that I used to never notice. It's like I was able to truly see the "spiritual battle" taking place around us if that's even a thing...but one things for sure our reality is fucking weird and we don't have the answers

Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_lsd
substancecode_lysergamides
explevel_experienced
exptype_negative
exptype_spiritual
exptype_difficult
roacode_sublingual
 
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Don't get too caught up on the Satan stuff... after all, you were listening to a demonic voice for hours, so there was a lot of mental set/expectation going on. Sounds pretty freaky to have experienced though. Thanks for sharing!
 
I don't get too caught up on it anymore, when it first happened it was definitely more heavily on my mind. In a way that trip kind of reassured my perception of reality as being a concrete, non-simulated reality. I can't explain how any of this shit works within the mind but it's pretty interesting
 
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