Meth addiction came back.

[TinaIsMyHomegirl]

I feel fucking lost and hopeless. I?ve been on a two week meth binge after my girlfriend left me. Getting called weak and pathetic while tweaked is something else. Hearing how much of a asshole and loser I am you start to believe it. I can?t stop slamming though. It makes me who I feel I should be and want to be. The rush has a hold on me. I slam stimulants for the rush alone, I always have pushed my boundaries and tested fate. I first shot up in 11 grade I?m now 25. Been to rehab twice, know the information know the trouble I?m causing and pain but I can?t stop. I?m on probation and see my PO on Tuesday, if I?m tested I?m fucked. I tried to get help I see a counselor once a week, and I tried to go to a psychiatrist but the wait is 4 months. I?ve never thought about suicide before this but if he lying if I haven?t thought of just doing it. I can?t stamf the pain and suffering I cause the people who love me and care about me. I?m a selfish asshole but I can?t tale the needle out of my arm. Everyone wants the best for me and want to see me do the best, but they never think of wha if this is the best version of myself? What if I?m destined to be just an addict the rest of my life. I can?t see myself stopping that?s the scary thing. I want to stop I would never wish this on someone but I can?t. I just needed to get this off my chest.

 

[Mafioso]

You decide your own destiny with the choices you make each day. We are capable of a lot of things that we don't think we are, both good and bad. Either way you go, life is a struggle and making the right decision isn't easy either. You say you can't, but that is a lie you are telling yourself. The drug is hard to resist because it's pleasurable, but just judging by this post it seems to be also causing a ton of pain. In the long run, life is way more pleasurable without it.

I've put myself in a similar situation and have just had to accept the consequences as there isn't much else to be done about it. Try to make the most of it mentally and spend as little time feeling sorry for yourself as possible. I can't tell you what might be the best thing for you legally, but the truth tends to come out sooner or later. Being honest and forthcoming generally has better results than getting caught in a lie or being deceptive. You might be punished for telling the truth after doing wrong, but you will definitely be punished for getting caught.

You're not an asshole loser, even if you might act like one at times. We aren't defined by our worst moments, although we have to own the consequences it doesn't mean we can't better ourselves in the near future.