Hey, don't have much time, but I'll say I'm sorry you were treated that way. I think everyone has biases they don't realize they have. For example, I could make an argument to someone who's never used a drug except alcohol that, not only is the weed I used to use was a far safer then their alcohol, but also pretty good arguments could be made that the LSD, I can still occasionally use, is far safer than weed! I bet 99% of the population would think at me as a crazy person, insane for even suggesting that, but, hell, I'd still make that argument, because I've researched all three drugs, and based on the parameters I would use for what "safety" means, it seems quite obvious to me that LSD is significantly safer than weed, and without a huge blind spot it's pretty much impossible to say alcohol is safer then weed (if you eliminate the threat of arrest and hard time in certain countries.)
I didn't see your original thread, but in college, 3/4 of my best female friends were raped at some point, culminating with the only girl I've ever loved being raped and, being my girlfriend, seeing close up the pain she was going through for a long long time makes me absolutely hate rapists. I'd like to think I could have read your thread objectively, but depending on my mood, I might have gone back to thinking of my friends and girlfriend, and immediately make the jump to that being your intention and gotten pissed off too. While at the same time, I've had that same thought, and asked my girlfriend if it was something she would be ok with on some night, she looked at me weird and said no, and, since I don't have that fetish I was just was like, ok, sorry if that weirded you out, and I don't think I've thought of that idea again until reading this thread.
I guess my point is, I've never done heroin, but can absolutely see why people do do it. And in this forum of drug users, people understand each other better, at least with regards to drug use. So I can see both sides I guess, while I've had, that 1 time, to have the thought of asking if I could do that fetish, I still might have made the leap to you being a rapist and immediately started hating you. Ideally, we would all step back, think, wait, is he really trying to find away to date rape someone? Or someone who has known, documented fetish, one he never "chose" to have in the first place, and with a willing partner isn't a problem at all?
Unfortunately, we're human, and we often leap to conclusions. We can try to control ourselves better and hopefully be successful at listening with an open mind before making any sort of judgement. I recently got my RN license, if you were one of my patients and you told me your fetish, I'm 99% sure I could be professional in the moment, but I'm not sure I wouldn't go back to my desk, print out a picture of you, go to the bathroom, spit on it, rip it up, stomp on the pieces, and flush it down the toilet while cussing "you" out. I hope I wouldn't do something like that, but with my experiences from college, rapists are a flash point for me (the only one I can think of, though I'm sure there's others), I appreciate this thread for making me realize, again, don't leap to conclusions, wait for the facts, and realize that fetish does not mean rapist. I've been an opiate addict for 11 years, they actually saved me from a suicide attempt, though, I should have tapered off a few months later when I realized I was getting better even while not high, but I have my own "fetish" for drug use. During this 11 year addiction, other than a few Drs, a couple RN, and some therapists, NO ONE in my life has ever even questioned if I had a problem, and those Drs, etc, only knew, because I told them before a surgery and didn't want the anesthesiologist to accidentally kill me, and I knew they couldn't tell anyone outside of the field (same with the therapists.)
And once again, I apologize for the compassionate people on this board who attacked you, I don't know how to fix the problem, since it's human psychology at work, which stems from our upbringing and DNA, no choices in any that. I hope you find a safe place to get advice on how to proceed. I can't help you, since after a reading a few posts I might lose it, even after this thread. But thank you sincerely for making it, it's a totally valid complaint, and one that might help me at sometime in the future step back a minute, clear my mind, and just breathe and listen to you more fully, and give you the the best care I know how. Good luck man, and I'm sorry for whatever was said to you, I can't even read the thread because of my own experiences and losing objectivity. But seriously, good luck, try to find a safe forum, or find a non-judgmental therapist (they are out there, out of 5 therapist's I was honest, and tried to explain my addiction and how it wasn't "good", the drug I use costs me only $3-4 a day and has no real documented cases of a fatality, even mixed with drinking or benzos (the DEA disagrees with no deaths, but they aren't scientists, and there job depends on making as much illegal as possible, science be damned, ( even so, they found a whopping 14 deaths worldwide, over a 10 or so year period, making it safer then Tylenol, Advil, Aleve, Way safer than Aspirin, and nearly every other otc medication.) Therapists, all with other issues that anyone could see wasn4/5 my therapists immediately tried to get me into rehab, and didn't believe me about its safety (it's plain Kratom for anyone who care. But 1 therapist listened to me, and researched Kratom before booting me off to another terrible therapist, she research its safeties and dangers, and helps me every couple of weeks, for free over the phone, since I had to stop our sessions with me going back to school in another area. So someone(s) out there can help you, it's a matter of finding them, and that can be difficult. But it changed my life for the better, so again, good luck, and, Peace my man. (so much for short, lol)
