mal3volent
Bluelight Crew
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- Jun 6, 2011
- Messages
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{chapel}
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H.M.P. Bluelight Towers - Top Dog
- Thread starter leet
- Start date
mtu mwendawazimu
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2018
- Messages
- 17,258
Whenever i get stoned this thread simply amazes me.
leet
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2008
- Messages
- 939
Top Dog Episode #6 - Kidnappers details
Ready?
Which of the following MUPPETS had their head filled with shit about PRISON OFFICER GRIFFITHS, until they lost it totally and took him hostage in their cell?
Welcome to H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS!
TOP DOG
Results for:
Episode #6 - Don't keep sausages in the dog kennel
and
Bonus Mission #6 - The auld dog kens aul th' tricks
TOP DOG
Results for:
Episode #6 - Don't keep sausages in the dog kennel
and
Bonus Mission #6 - The auld dog kens aul th' tricks
Ready?
Which of the following MUPPETS had their head filled with shit about PRISON OFFICER GRIFFITHS, until they lost it totally and took him hostage in their cell?
JONATHON WYN
MENTALLY DEFECTIVE WANNABE BOY RACER
PUNY, SHRILL VOICED, AND THE IQ OF A CHEESE GRATER
JAILED FOR TWO YEARS
BANNED FROM DRIVING FOR THREE YEARS
DRIVING AT HIGH SPEED ON WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD, LAUGHING WILDLY WHILE HIS PASSENGERS SCREAMED FOR HIM TO STOP
IN THE INEVITABLE CRASH HE INJURED 7 PEOPLE, GOT OUT OF THE CAR SHOUTING
AND RAN OFF WITHOUT HELPING ANY OF HIS VICTIMS
ONCE HE WAS SAFELY HOME WITH HIS OLD MUM HE REPORTED HIS CAR AS STOLEN
PATHETIC PROSPECT
STEPHEN SEARLE
ALWAYS BEEN A TWAT
SUSPECTED CAT POISONER, LIFE WENT SOUR FOR HIM AFTER ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION.
HE STRANGLED HIS WIFE AFTER DINNER.
SHE MADE ROAST BEEF, YORKSHIRE PUDDINGS, ROAST POTATOES, CARROTS, PEAS (ALL FROM THE GARDEN) AND A DARK RICH GRAVY
DIDN'T MAKE ANY PUDDING ALTHOUGH THE RHUBARB WAS RIPE
HE SAID IN INTERVIEW:
SINISTER PROSPECT
MATHEW HARDMAN
BULLSEYE!
ALWAYS WANTED TO BECOME A VAMPIRE
STUDIED BOOKS AND D.V.D.'s UNTIL HE WORKED OUT THE BEST METHOD
TURNS OUT THE BEST METHOD OF BECOMING A VAMPIRE IS TO KILL AN OLD LADY BY CUTTING HER THROAT, THEN UNDRESS HER AND CUT OUT HER HEART
(RESERVE THE BLOOD IN A BIG SAUCEPAN)
DRINK THAT GOOD STUFF DOWN
THEN PLACE SOME CANDLESTICKS IN A CRUCIFIX SHAPE BY HER BODY
WAIT FOR THE TRANSFORMATION
WONDERFULLY TERRIFYING PROSPECT!
RICHARD BRITTAIN
CHEERFUL, CHIRPY, CHEEKY, QUIRKY CHAPPIE
IN OTHER WORDS
A SCRAWNY LITTLE TWAT
HE WON THE CHANNEL 4 QUIZ SHOW "COUNTDOWN" IN 2006
AN 18 YEAR OLD GIRL GAVE A NEGATIVE REVIEW OF HIS NEW BOOK ONLINE
HE USED FACEBOOK AND TWITTER TO TRACK HER DOWN
HE THEN TRAVELED 400 MILES TO HER PLACE OF WORK IN HER LOCAL ASDA
SHE WAS KNEELING DOWN FILLING THE BOTTOM SHELF OF THE CEREALS WHEN HE UNLEASHED HIS SPECIAL MOVE!
HIT HER ON THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A FULL BOTTLE OF WINE [JACOBS CREEK - CHARDONAY]
WOULD PLAY CHESS WITH HIS HOSTAGE
AND THEN GO RADIO RENTAL CHICKEN ORIENTAL WHEN HE LOSES
YEAH PLAUSIBLE PROSPECT
PETER GARROD
BULLSEYE!
THOUGHT THE WORLD WAS COMING TO AN END
THE SEVEN SEALS WERE BEING OPENED BEFORE THE THRONE OF GOD
IT WAS HIS DESTINY TO KILL A DEMON AND HELP SAVE THE WORLD
MESSAGES WERE APPEARING ALL OVER THE PLACE, ON THE RADIO, TELEVISION
CAR NUMBER PLATES, BEFORE COMMITTING MURDER HE SAW ONE WHICH WAS: "KPK"
THAT MEANT
HE THEN LAUNCHED AN ATTACK UPON A FATHER OF FOUR IN THE BACKYARD OF A PUB BY STRIKING HIM REPEATEDLY ON THE HEAD WITH A CONCRETE SLAB
AFTER SLAYING THE DEMON HE CLIMBED ONTO THE ROOF OF THE PUB AND SAT THERE CALLING DOWN
FUCKING AWESOME PROSPECT!
AKINWALE OLUWAFOLAJIMI OLUWATOPE AROBIEKE
BULLSEYE!
THE MAN WHO SQUEEZES MUSCLES
THE MAN IS LEGEND IN HIS OWN RIGHT AND NEEDS NO FURTHER EXPL...
O.K.
READ ALL ABOUT PURPLE AKI HERE:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-6d083913-0bfb-4988-8cd8-d126fa6dcff1
A LEGENDARY PROSPECT!
MENTALLY DEFECTIVE WANNABE BOY RACER
PUNY, SHRILL VOICED, AND THE IQ OF A CHEESE GRATER
JAILED FOR TWO YEARS
BANNED FROM DRIVING FOR THREE YEARS
DRIVING AT HIGH SPEED ON WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD, LAUGHING WILDLY WHILE HIS PASSENGERS SCREAMED FOR HIM TO STOP
IN THE INEVITABLE CRASH HE INJURED 7 PEOPLE, GOT OUT OF THE CAR SHOUTING
AND RAN OFF WITHOUT HELPING ANY OF HIS VICTIMS
ONCE HE WAS SAFELY HOME WITH HIS OLD MUM HE REPORTED HIS CAR AS STOLEN
PATHETIC PROSPECT
STEPHEN SEARLE
ALWAYS BEEN A TWAT
SUSPECTED CAT POISONER, LIFE WENT SOUR FOR HIM AFTER ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION.
HE STRANGLED HIS WIFE AFTER DINNER.
SHE MADE ROAST BEEF, YORKSHIRE PUDDINGS, ROAST POTATOES, CARROTS, PEAS (ALL FROM THE GARDEN) AND A DARK RICH GRAVY
DIDN'T MAKE ANY PUDDING ALTHOUGH THE RHUBARB WAS RIPE
HE SAID IN INTERVIEW:
SINISTER PROSPECT
MATHEW HARDMAN
BULLSEYE!
ALWAYS WANTED TO BECOME A VAMPIRE
STUDIED BOOKS AND D.V.D.'s UNTIL HE WORKED OUT THE BEST METHOD
TURNS OUT THE BEST METHOD OF BECOMING A VAMPIRE IS TO KILL AN OLD LADY BY CUTTING HER THROAT, THEN UNDRESS HER AND CUT OUT HER HEART
(RESERVE THE BLOOD IN A BIG SAUCEPAN)
DRINK THAT GOOD STUFF DOWN
THEN PLACE SOME CANDLESTICKS IN A CRUCIFIX SHAPE BY HER BODY
WAIT FOR THE TRANSFORMATION
WONDERFULLY TERRIFYING PROSPECT!
RICHARD BRITTAIN
CHEERFUL, CHIRPY, CHEEKY, QUIRKY CHAPPIE
IN OTHER WORDS
A SCRAWNY LITTLE TWAT
HE WON THE CHANNEL 4 QUIZ SHOW "COUNTDOWN" IN 2006
AN 18 YEAR OLD GIRL GAVE A NEGATIVE REVIEW OF HIS NEW BOOK ONLINE
HE USED FACEBOOK AND TWITTER TO TRACK HER DOWN
HE THEN TRAVELED 400 MILES TO HER PLACE OF WORK IN HER LOCAL ASDA
SHE WAS KNEELING DOWN FILLING THE BOTTOM SHELF OF THE CEREALS WHEN HE UNLEASHED HIS SPECIAL MOVE!
HIT HER ON THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A FULL BOTTLE OF WINE [JACOBS CREEK - CHARDONAY]
WOULD PLAY CHESS WITH HIS HOSTAGE
AND THEN GO RADIO RENTAL CHICKEN ORIENTAL WHEN HE LOSES
YEAH PLAUSIBLE PROSPECT
PETER GARROD
BULLSEYE!
THOUGHT THE WORLD WAS COMING TO AN END
THE SEVEN SEALS WERE BEING OPENED BEFORE THE THRONE OF GOD
IT WAS HIS DESTINY TO KILL A DEMON AND HELP SAVE THE WORLD
MESSAGES WERE APPEARING ALL OVER THE PLACE, ON THE RADIO, TELEVISION
CAR NUMBER PLATES, BEFORE COMMITTING MURDER HE SAW ONE WHICH WAS: "KPK"
THAT MEANT
HE THEN LAUNCHED AN ATTACK UPON A FATHER OF FOUR IN THE BACKYARD OF A PUB BY STRIKING HIM REPEATEDLY ON THE HEAD WITH A CONCRETE SLAB
AFTER SLAYING THE DEMON HE CLIMBED ONTO THE ROOF OF THE PUB AND SAT THERE CALLING DOWN
FUCKING AWESOME PROSPECT!
AKINWALE OLUWAFOLAJIMI OLUWATOPE AROBIEKE
BULLSEYE!
THE MAN WHO SQUEEZES MUSCLES
THE MAN IS LEGEND IN HIS OWN RIGHT AND NEEDS NO FURTHER EXPL...
O.K.
READ ALL ABOUT PURPLE AKI HERE:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-6d083913-0bfb-4988-8cd8-d126fa6dcff1
A LEGENDARY PROSPECT!
Last edited:
leet
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2008
- Messages
- 939
The Lock Down
The Prison is on LOCKDOWN and the Wing Custodial Manager, SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY has targeted our TOP DOG and is personally searching the cell for the contraband he KNOWS is there.
He is an eggy twat and can't wait to catch you out and remove your privileges. A former Drill Sergeant in the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders 1st Battalion he DESPISES men like you.
"Ye'r juist anither notch oan mah truncheon"
Our guys are caught with their fucking knickers down.
The TOP DOG has a load of DRUGS to hide, did they manage to FOOL SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY and hold onto their GEAR?
GAME MECHANICS.
Just a note on how I arrived at the results for this thread. This game relies on mutual RESPECT and the willingness of the participants to suspend their sense of disbelief. All have proved their worth in this. This episode was the most troubling to mark as the answer is not pre-determined. As SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY is just a man, he will make mistakes. To reflect this I used a random number generator to first decide how many of the given hiding places he would search, then again to decide which of those hiding places he actually searched. This is an arbitrary method to score but I feel it reflects all criminals willingness to take risks and perhaps rely on their luck, sometimes even when there is no need.
HERE
Lets find out...
MAL3VOLENT
Gear hidden in:
#00. The PRISON CHAPEL
54F3 as houses.
#08. SWALLOWING
He swallowed an ounce bag, hoping to retrieve it some 24 hours later... Assuming of course nothing untoward happened to him.
#10. LINING OF SHOES
He hid an ounce bag in the lining of his shoes.
#13. HOLLOWED OUT BOOK
He hid an ounce bag in a hollowed out book, yes! The Gideon Bible!
OMG CORNY!
The cell door swings open and:
"Ah ken youse git gear in 'ere somewhere laddie"
SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY searches FOUR locations in this cell:
#02. From the off MAL3VOLENT got himself a thorough BOLLOCK TUGGING and ANAL PROBING
NOTHING FOUND
#07. The bed frame was taken apart and each piece visually inspected.
NOTHING FOUND
#09. Frustrated by the sneers from MAL3VOLENT and in a fury, SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY then got on his knees and put his whole arm round the 'U' bend of MAL3VOLENT's W.C.
NOTHING FOUND
#12. All of MAL3VOLENT's shampoo, moisturisers and toothpaste were emptied onto the floor of his cell by the angry sweaty sock.
NOTHING FOUND
Leaving MAL3VOLENT with FOUR ounces of drugs to TAKE TO MARKET
RESPECT!
Angry and seriously frustrated SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY and his gaggle of grinning goons went off to search:
BPTUBBS
Gear hidden in:
#00. The PRISON CHAPEL
54F3 as houses.
#08. SWALLOWING
He swallowed an ounce bag, hoping to retrieve it some 24 hours later... Assuming of course nothing untoward happened to him.
The cell door swings open and:
"Juist haun ower th' gear 'n' we'll lea ye git back tae tuggin wan aff"
SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY searches SEVEN locations in this cell:
#01. Sweeps all the items on the steel table to the floor, turns it over and stares at the underside of the table. BPTUBBS tells him "there's a proper mirror on the wall"
NOTHING FOUND
#03. Takes the light fittings apart, then puts them back together
NOTHING FOUND
#04. Looks underneath the bedside cabinet with his mirror on a stick
NOTHING FOUND
#03. Takes the light fitting apart and leaves it on the table
NOTHING FOUND
#04. Goes on his hands and knees and looks under the bedside cabinet
NOTHING FOUND
#03. Stares at all the components of the light fitting again very very closely, paying special attention to the plastic thread
NOTHING FOUND
#12. All of BPTUBBS's shampoo, moisturisers and toothpaste were emptied onto the floor of his cell by the angry jock.
NOTHING FOUND
Leaving BPTUBBS with TWO ounces of drugs to TAKE TO MARKET
RESPECT!
Angry and seriously frustrated Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay and his gaggle of grinning goons went off for a cup of tea and some shortbread biscuits, before searching:
MADNESS00
Gear hidden in:
#00. The PRISON CHAPEL
54F3 as houses.
#10. He hid an ounce bag in the lining of his shoes.
The cell door swings open and:
"Ye hae th' richt tae jobby yersel' "
SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY searches THREE locations in this cell:
#02. From the off MADNESS00 got himself a thorough BOLLOCK TUGGING and ANAL PROBING
NOTHING FOUND
#11. MADNESS00's mattress and pillow are ripped to pieces
NOTHING FOUND
#08. Frustrated at the lack of results and enraged by MADNESS00 telling him he is "getting warmer, hotter ooh you must be burning, oh dear it's gone cold again", SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY then carried out another intimate search - BOLLOCK TUGGING and ANAL PROBING. Additionally MADNESS00's every stool for the next 48 hours was carefully teased apart and minutely inspected PERSONALLY by SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY. MADNESS00 went on a special diet and ate fatty, processed foods and LOADS of cruciferous veggies (think: broccoli, cabbage, kale) to further enhance the experience for SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY!
NOTHING FOUND
Leaving MADNESS00 with TWO ounces of drugs to TAKE TO MARKET
RESPECT!
Angry and seriously frustrated SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY and his gaggle of grinning goons went off to search:
SHADOWMEISTER
Gear hidden in:
#05. THE FAKE BRICK IN THE WALL
SHADOWMEISTER had realised long ago that he needed a safe and secure hiding place in his cell. He has spent some time organising hiding place #05 THE FAKE BRICK IN THE WALL for his cell. Over a period of a week he had a time served brickie carefully chisel out a brick from the windowsill of his cell, whilst he paid an old school forger in the Art & Craft Workshop to create a complete replica of the brick in cardboard, painted to match the rest of the wall. After a few shots of Chateau Bluelight even SHADOWMEISTER has trouble spotting which brick it is.
#08. SWALLOWING
He swallowed an ounce bag, hoping to retrieve it some 24 hours later... Assuming of course nothing untoward happened to him.
The cell door swings open and:
"Gooing tae dae ye doggy style laddie. Fetch th' k9"
SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY searches FOUR locations in this cell:
#03. Takes the light fittings apart, then puts them back together
NOTHING FOUND
#07. The bed frame was taken apart and each piece visually inspected.
NOTHING FOUND
#12. All of SHADOWMEISTER's shampoo, moisturisers and toothpaste were emptied onto the floor of his cell by the angry prison officer.
NOTHING FOUND
#13. The Gideon Bible [UNREAD] in SHADOWMEISTER's cabinet was rifled and tossed into the far corner of the cell.
NOTHING FOUND
Leaving SHADOWMEISTER with TWO ounces of drugs to TAKE TO MARKET
RESPECT!
NOW LETS SEE WHO IS
TOP DOG
BONUS MISSION #6
H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
YOUR CELL
BONUS MISSION #6
H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
YOUR CELL
The Prison is on LOCKDOWN and the Wing Custodial Manager, SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY has targeted our TOP DOG and is personally searching the cell for the contraband he KNOWS is there.
He is an eggy twat and can't wait to catch you out and remove your privileges. A former Drill Sergeant in the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders 1st Battalion he DESPISES men like you.
"Ye'r juist anither notch oan mah truncheon"
Our guys are caught with their fucking knickers down.
The TOP DOG has a load of DRUGS to hide, did they manage to FOOL SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY and hold onto their GEAR?
GAME MECHANICS.
Just a note on how I arrived at the results for this thread. This game relies on mutual RESPECT and the willingness of the participants to suspend their sense of disbelief. All have proved their worth in this. This episode was the most troubling to mark as the answer is not pre-determined. As SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY is just a man, he will make mistakes. To reflect this I used a random number generator to first decide how many of the given hiding places he would search, then again to decide which of those hiding places he actually searched. This is an arbitrary method to score but I feel it reflects all criminals willingness to take risks and perhaps rely on their luck, sometimes even when there is no need.
HERE
Lets find out...
MAL3VOLENT
Gear hidden in:
#00. The PRISON CHAPEL
54F3 as houses.
#08. SWALLOWING
He swallowed an ounce bag, hoping to retrieve it some 24 hours later... Assuming of course nothing untoward happened to him.
#10. LINING OF SHOES
He hid an ounce bag in the lining of his shoes.
#13. HOLLOWED OUT BOOK
He hid an ounce bag in a hollowed out book, yes! The Gideon Bible!
OMG CORNY!
The cell door swings open and:
"Ah ken youse git gear in 'ere somewhere laddie"
SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY searches FOUR locations in this cell:
#02. From the off MAL3VOLENT got himself a thorough BOLLOCK TUGGING and ANAL PROBING
NOTHING FOUND
#07. The bed frame was taken apart and each piece visually inspected.
NOTHING FOUND
#09. Frustrated by the sneers from MAL3VOLENT and in a fury, SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY then got on his knees and put his whole arm round the 'U' bend of MAL3VOLENT's W.C.
NOTHING FOUND
#12. All of MAL3VOLENT's shampoo, moisturisers and toothpaste were emptied onto the floor of his cell by the angry sweaty sock.
NOTHING FOUND
Leaving MAL3VOLENT with FOUR ounces of drugs to TAKE TO MARKET
RESPECT!
Angry and seriously frustrated SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY and his gaggle of grinning goons went off to search:
BPTUBBS
Gear hidden in:
#00. The PRISON CHAPEL
54F3 as houses.
#08. SWALLOWING
He swallowed an ounce bag, hoping to retrieve it some 24 hours later... Assuming of course nothing untoward happened to him.
The cell door swings open and:
"Juist haun ower th' gear 'n' we'll lea ye git back tae tuggin wan aff"
SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY searches SEVEN locations in this cell:
#01. Sweeps all the items on the steel table to the floor, turns it over and stares at the underside of the table. BPTUBBS tells him "there's a proper mirror on the wall"
NOTHING FOUND
#03. Takes the light fittings apart, then puts them back together
NOTHING FOUND
#04. Looks underneath the bedside cabinet with his mirror on a stick
NOTHING FOUND
#03. Takes the light fitting apart and leaves it on the table
NOTHING FOUND
#04. Goes on his hands and knees and looks under the bedside cabinet
NOTHING FOUND
#03. Stares at all the components of the light fitting again very very closely, paying special attention to the plastic thread
NOTHING FOUND
#12. All of BPTUBBS's shampoo, moisturisers and toothpaste were emptied onto the floor of his cell by the angry jock.
NOTHING FOUND
Leaving BPTUBBS with TWO ounces of drugs to TAKE TO MARKET
RESPECT!
Angry and seriously frustrated Senior Prison Officer Fulton Mackay and his gaggle of grinning goons went off for a cup of tea and some shortbread biscuits, before searching:
MADNESS00
Gear hidden in:
#00. The PRISON CHAPEL
54F3 as houses.
#10. He hid an ounce bag in the lining of his shoes.
The cell door swings open and:
"Ye hae th' richt tae jobby yersel' "
SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY searches THREE locations in this cell:
#02. From the off MADNESS00 got himself a thorough BOLLOCK TUGGING and ANAL PROBING
NOTHING FOUND
#11. MADNESS00's mattress and pillow are ripped to pieces
NOTHING FOUND
#08. Frustrated at the lack of results and enraged by MADNESS00 telling him he is "getting warmer, hotter ooh you must be burning, oh dear it's gone cold again", SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY then carried out another intimate search - BOLLOCK TUGGING and ANAL PROBING. Additionally MADNESS00's every stool for the next 48 hours was carefully teased apart and minutely inspected PERSONALLY by SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY. MADNESS00 went on a special diet and ate fatty, processed foods and LOADS of cruciferous veggies (think: broccoli, cabbage, kale) to further enhance the experience for SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY!
NOTHING FOUND
Leaving MADNESS00 with TWO ounces of drugs to TAKE TO MARKET
RESPECT!
Angry and seriously frustrated SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY and his gaggle of grinning goons went off to search:
SHADOWMEISTER
Gear hidden in:
#05. THE FAKE BRICK IN THE WALL
SHADOWMEISTER had realised long ago that he needed a safe and secure hiding place in his cell. He has spent some time organising hiding place #05 THE FAKE BRICK IN THE WALL for his cell. Over a period of a week he had a time served brickie carefully chisel out a brick from the windowsill of his cell, whilst he paid an old school forger in the Art & Craft Workshop to create a complete replica of the brick in cardboard, painted to match the rest of the wall. After a few shots of Chateau Bluelight even SHADOWMEISTER has trouble spotting which brick it is.
#08. SWALLOWING
He swallowed an ounce bag, hoping to retrieve it some 24 hours later... Assuming of course nothing untoward happened to him.
The cell door swings open and:
"Gooing tae dae ye doggy style laddie. Fetch th' k9"
SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY searches FOUR locations in this cell:
#03. Takes the light fittings apart, then puts them back together
NOTHING FOUND
#07. The bed frame was taken apart and each piece visually inspected.
NOTHING FOUND
#12. All of SHADOWMEISTER's shampoo, moisturisers and toothpaste were emptied onto the floor of his cell by the angry prison officer.
NOTHING FOUND
#13. The Gideon Bible [UNREAD] in SHADOWMEISTER's cabinet was rifled and tossed into the far corner of the cell.
NOTHING FOUND
Leaving SHADOWMEISTER with TWO ounces of drugs to TAKE TO MARKET
RESPECT!
NOW LETS SEE WHO IS
TOP DOG
EPISODE #6
AND WHO IS THE DISRESPECTED PRISON CHINESE CRESTED!
EPISODE #6
AND WHO IS THE DISRESPECTED PRISON CHINESE CRESTED!
Last edited:
leet
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2008
- Messages
- 939
Top Dog Episode #6 - RESULTS
THIS WEEK'S WINNER:
MAL3VOLENT
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers TOP DOG!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 70
Hostage Taker PETER = 7
Ounces to take to market in DROUGHT is: FOUR = 16
Secret RESPECT Bonus unlocked:
LIVING IN A DAZZLING SENSUAL WHIRLPOOL = 4
TOTAL RESPECT = 97
Prepare for the ultimate LAW BREAKING EXPERIENCE!
Time spent with MAL3VOLENT is always full of A FRANTIC SEARCH FOR UNUSUAL WAYS TO SATISFY HIS SAVAGE DESIRES yes, it's a deep dish pie EVERY DAY for the TOP DOG
The peace and security that prisoners and officers alike used to enjoy in H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS is now a distant memory. The Governor knows there is a TOP DOG at work in his prison and is using all his resources to attempt to dismantle this operation. A search of the prison and the huge confiscation of drugs that it resulted in, merely played into MAL3VOLANT's hands. He sneered as SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY and his goons ripped both his drum and his arsehole APART.
Most prisoners struggle to conceal an extra bar of soap under these conditions, yet MAL3VOLANT demonstrated sleight of hand abilities which should earn him a place in the MAGIC CIRCLE!
Within ten minutes of the lockdown being called off and dubbed "MASSIVE SUCCESS" by the Governor all of MAL3VOLANT's crew had gear and tech to satisfy everyone - at increased drought prices of course. A fucking great week for MAL3VOLANT.
NOT HOT BUT STILL VERY WARM!
The pressure on the rest of the crews in the prison was intensified when an industrial mix of psychedelics was administered to PETER. He was soon back to his old tricks and took a Prison Officer hostage. His badge number was 666, obviously it was DUKE BARBATOS one of SATAN's earls and the kidnapper of 1000 fair maidens for BAAL's orgy of terror.
Fortunately the prison officer was still alive when rescued but his head had a lot more lumps on it than before. The officer will be taking early retirement. PETER has been transferred to H.M.P. BROADMOOR under the care of the Board of Control for Lunacy and Mental Deficiency. MAL3VOLANT is ruling the roost here!
The HARDMAN GYM is where he spends most of time, like a roman emperor of old MAL3VOLANT mixes the heady wine of ecstasy with the bitter liqueur of sadism. His is a passion that knows no law, a life spent in a DAZZLING SENSUAL WHIRLPOOL as the toughest con's battle it out with each other to be his latest JOY BOY
His reputation and consequences of his actions have ensured his file is currently on the desk of the HOME SECRETARY as part of the urgent investigation ordered into the running of H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS. MAL3VOLANT would like to strangle every last one of them!
BPTUBBS
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CAPO DI TUTTI I CAPI!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 61
Hostage Taker MATHEW = 7
Ounces to take to market in DROUGHT is: TWO = 8
Secret RESPECT Bonus unlocked:
LIVING A DAZZLING SENSUAL WHIRLPOOL = 4
TOTAL RESPECT = 80
They call him BPTUBBS, he was a winner... He was a loser... He was a hustler... The other lags line up to offer RESPECT and buy drugs and tech from him and his cronies. BPTUBBS working for the fast bucks and playing for the big thrill!
BPTUBBS considered framing MAL3VOLANT with his HOT GEAR showing a laughable contempt for his fellow inmates and an excellent sense of self preservation, although BPTUBBS would probably describe it as "simply being realistic" whilst ramming 54 condoms stuffed with 6-APB down some poor saps throat.
BPTUBBS cell and those of his crew had the most intense search during the Lock Down and there was red faces in the Governors office when they declared the operation a huge success in the national news and prison visitors the next day duly reported that drugs had never been more prevalent!
To get some much needed SHADE for his operations BPTUBBS increased the pressure on the prison when he administered an industrial mix of psychedelics to MATHEW, who was soon back to his old tricks and quick as you like took a prison officer hostage because he was a VAMPYR COUNT and as everyone knows, if you kill the VAMPYR COUNT you become the VAMPYR COUNT.
Fortunately the prison officer was still alive when rescued but his neck was covered with hickeys. The officer will be taking early retirement. MATHEW has been transferred to H.M.P. BROADMOOR under the care of the Board of Control for Lunacy and Mental Deficiency. BPTUBBS is running things round here!
The FEMALE SECTION is where he spends most of time, like a eastern potentate BPTUBBS practices the most esoteric warped sex secrets with his pick of a blood stained harem whose women trade their bodies and their minds for kicks and drugs. His is a passion that knows no law, a life spent in a DAZZLING SENSUAL WHIRLPOOL with his skid row sweetheart the female TOP DOG JO and his pet DEMON HUNTER PETER on a perpetual sex, violence and drugs binge!
BPTUBBS is still glorying in the RESPECT of his peers and his choices have resulted in a several angry phonecalls from the HOME SECRETARY to the Governor of H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS. He is proving to be the MAIN MAN in the nick. The prison is tough, like the inmates but BPTUBBS is tougher. Surely he will be the ultimate TOP DOG
RESPECT!
MADNESS00
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers THE MAN!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 58
Hostage Taker PURPLE AKI = 7
Ounces to take to market in DROUGHT is: TWO = 8
TOTAL RESPECT = 73
MADNESS00 The story of a man that even SCIENCE couldn't control!
Earlier that week @ THE HOLE
On his return to the General Population MADNESS00 required a little less heat from the authorities to recover profits from his business whilst at the same time seeing a way take REVENGE and HUMILIATE SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY, MADNESS00 replaced PURPLE AKI's meds with a thrilling combination of CRYSTAL METH, 1P LSD, and 2C-I-NBOMe - PURPLE AKI erupted like a volcano and took Prison Officer FAT CUNT WALDO as hostage.
Fortunately FAT CUNT WALDO was still alive when rescued but his legs and arms were covered with BRUISES. All the blood vessels in his appendages had been severely ruptured by the trauma inflicted. The Officer will be taking early retirement. PURPLE AKI has been transferred to H.M.P. BROADMOOR under the care of the Board of Control for Lunacy and Mental Deficiency. MADNESS00 is cracking the whip over every mawk, lush and bully boy in the jail!
The Prison was put on Lock Down and MADNESS00 spat at the screws as they ripped his drum and his arsehole APART. Despite having TWO full cavity searches in ten minutes, and his bedding destroyed, MADNESS00 still had an ounce of GEAR concealed in his trainers at the end of it all!
MADNESS00 is more exciting than James Bond, Mike Hammer, Travis McGee, and then some. He?s ruggedly virile, he?s karate-quick, he's MADNESS00 and he's going to be the TOP DOG
RESPECT!
THIS WEEK'S WINNER:
MAL3VOLENT
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers TOP DOG!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 70
Hostage Taker PETER = 7
Ounces to take to market in DROUGHT is: FOUR = 16
Secret RESPECT Bonus unlocked:
LIVING IN A DAZZLING SENSUAL WHIRLPOOL = 4
TOTAL RESPECT = 97
Prepare for the ultimate LAW BREAKING EXPERIENCE!
Time spent with MAL3VOLENT is always full of A FRANTIC SEARCH FOR UNUSUAL WAYS TO SATISFY HIS SAVAGE DESIRES yes, it's a deep dish pie EVERY DAY for the TOP DOG
The peace and security that prisoners and officers alike used to enjoy in H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS is now a distant memory. The Governor knows there is a TOP DOG at work in his prison and is using all his resources to attempt to dismantle this operation. A search of the prison and the huge confiscation of drugs that it resulted in, merely played into MAL3VOLANT's hands. He sneered as SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY and his goons ripped both his drum and his arsehole APART.
Most prisoners struggle to conceal an extra bar of soap under these conditions, yet MAL3VOLANT demonstrated sleight of hand abilities which should earn him a place in the MAGIC CIRCLE!
Within ten minutes of the lockdown being called off and dubbed "MASSIVE SUCCESS" by the Governor all of MAL3VOLANT's crew had gear and tech to satisfy everyone - at increased drought prices of course. A fucking great week for MAL3VOLANT.
NOT HOT BUT STILL VERY WARM!
The pressure on the rest of the crews in the prison was intensified when an industrial mix of psychedelics was administered to PETER. He was soon back to his old tricks and took a Prison Officer hostage. His badge number was 666, obviously it was DUKE BARBATOS one of SATAN's earls and the kidnapper of 1000 fair maidens for BAAL's orgy of terror.
Fortunately the prison officer was still alive when rescued but his head had a lot more lumps on it than before. The officer will be taking early retirement. PETER has been transferred to H.M.P. BROADMOOR under the care of the Board of Control for Lunacy and Mental Deficiency. MAL3VOLANT is ruling the roost here!
The HARDMAN GYM is where he spends most of time, like a roman emperor of old MAL3VOLANT mixes the heady wine of ecstasy with the bitter liqueur of sadism. His is a passion that knows no law, a life spent in a DAZZLING SENSUAL WHIRLPOOL as the toughest con's battle it out with each other to be his latest JOY BOY
His reputation and consequences of his actions have ensured his file is currently on the desk of the HOME SECRETARY as part of the urgent investigation ordered into the running of H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS. MAL3VOLANT would like to strangle every last one of them!
MAL3VOLENT IS TOP DOG
RESPECT!
BPTUBBS
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CAPO DI TUTTI I CAPI!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 61
Hostage Taker MATHEW = 7
Ounces to take to market in DROUGHT is: TWO = 8
Secret RESPECT Bonus unlocked:
LIVING A DAZZLING SENSUAL WHIRLPOOL = 4
TOTAL RESPECT = 80
They call him BPTUBBS, he was a winner... He was a loser... He was a hustler... The other lags line up to offer RESPECT and buy drugs and tech from him and his cronies. BPTUBBS working for the fast bucks and playing for the big thrill!
BPTUBBS considered framing MAL3VOLANT with his HOT GEAR showing a laughable contempt for his fellow inmates and an excellent sense of self preservation, although BPTUBBS would probably describe it as "simply being realistic" whilst ramming 54 condoms stuffed with 6-APB down some poor saps throat.
BPTUBBS cell and those of his crew had the most intense search during the Lock Down and there was red faces in the Governors office when they declared the operation a huge success in the national news and prison visitors the next day duly reported that drugs had never been more prevalent!
To get some much needed SHADE for his operations BPTUBBS increased the pressure on the prison when he administered an industrial mix of psychedelics to MATHEW, who was soon back to his old tricks and quick as you like took a prison officer hostage because he was a VAMPYR COUNT and as everyone knows, if you kill the VAMPYR COUNT you become the VAMPYR COUNT.
Fortunately the prison officer was still alive when rescued but his neck was covered with hickeys. The officer will be taking early retirement. MATHEW has been transferred to H.M.P. BROADMOOR under the care of the Board of Control for Lunacy and Mental Deficiency. BPTUBBS is running things round here!
The FEMALE SECTION is where he spends most of time, like a eastern potentate BPTUBBS practices the most esoteric warped sex secrets with his pick of a blood stained harem whose women trade their bodies and their minds for kicks and drugs. His is a passion that knows no law, a life spent in a DAZZLING SENSUAL WHIRLPOOL with his skid row sweetheart the female TOP DOG JO and his pet DEMON HUNTER PETER on a perpetual sex, violence and drugs binge!
BPTUBBS is still glorying in the RESPECT of his peers and his choices have resulted in a several angry phonecalls from the HOME SECRETARY to the Governor of H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS. He is proving to be the MAIN MAN in the nick. The prison is tough, like the inmates but BPTUBBS is tougher. Surely he will be the ultimate TOP DOG
RESPECT!
MADNESS00
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers THE MAN!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 58
Hostage Taker PURPLE AKI = 7
Ounces to take to market in DROUGHT is: TWO = 8
TOTAL RESPECT = 73
MADNESS00 The story of a man that even SCIENCE couldn't control!
Earlier that week @ THE HOLE
On his return to the General Population MADNESS00 required a little less heat from the authorities to recover profits from his business whilst at the same time seeing a way take REVENGE and HUMILIATE SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY, MADNESS00 replaced PURPLE AKI's meds with a thrilling combination of CRYSTAL METH, 1P LSD, and 2C-I-NBOMe - PURPLE AKI erupted like a volcano and took Prison Officer FAT CUNT WALDO as hostage.
Fortunately FAT CUNT WALDO was still alive when rescued but his legs and arms were covered with BRUISES. All the blood vessels in his appendages had been severely ruptured by the trauma inflicted. The Officer will be taking early retirement. PURPLE AKI has been transferred to H.M.P. BROADMOOR under the care of the Board of Control for Lunacy and Mental Deficiency. MADNESS00 is cracking the whip over every mawk, lush and bully boy in the jail!
The Prison was put on Lock Down and MADNESS00 spat at the screws as they ripped his drum and his arsehole APART. Despite having TWO full cavity searches in ten minutes, and his bedding destroyed, MADNESS00 still had an ounce of GEAR concealed in his trainers at the end of it all!
MADNESS00 is more exciting than James Bond, Mike Hammer, Travis McGee, and then some. He?s ruggedly virile, he?s karate-quick, he's MADNESS00 and he's going to be the TOP DOG
RESPECT!
Last edited:
leet
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2008
- Messages
- 939
SHADOWMEISTER
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers BLOCK BARON!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 37
Hostage Taker MATHEW = 7
Ounces to take to market in DROUGHT is: TWO = 8
Booty Call with KIAH = 2
Secret RESPECT Bonus Unlocked:
DRUG DEALING TITAN = 4 +1 for previous form
Secret RESPECT Bonus Unlocked:
METHAQUALONE = 2
TOTAL RESPECT = 61
SHADOWMEISTER organised some much needed SHADE for his operations by increasing the pressure on the prison when he administered a carefully mixed PSYCHEDELIC COCKTAIL OF SIN AND DEPRAVITY to MATHEW, who was soon back to his old tricks and quick as you like took a prison officer hostage because he was a VAMPYR COUNT and as everyone knows, if you kill the VAMPYR COUNT you become the VAMPYR COUNT.
Fortunately the prison officer was still alive when rescued but his neck was covered with hickeys. The officer will be taking early retirement. MATHEW has been transferred to H.M.P. BROADMOOR under the care of the Board of Control for Lunacy and Mental Deficiency.
There was a huge search of the Prison, but SHADOWMEISTER had been preparing for this. He had organised STASH PLACE #05 THE FAKE BRICK IN THE WALL for his cell. It was so successful after a few shots of Chateau Bluelight even SHADOWMEISTER has trouble spotting which brick it is. Within ten minutes of the Lock Down being called off and dubbed "MASSIVE SUCCESS" by the Governor all of SHADOWMEISTER's customers had the incredible array of drugs to choose from - at increased drought prices of course. There was a further increase in the supply of ALPHABETI SPAGHETTI SOUP DRUGS available after SHADOWMEISTER had PRISON OFFICER KIAH rummage through his turds.
Scat Porn and DOiP A fucking great week for SHADOWMEISTER
His customers were life's grotesque failures, sustained by drugs and sexual fantasies
This lust cat of the gutters, SHADOWMEISTER in his search for glitter found only a tarnished life. Despite this he still seems to crave the sordid and solitary splendour of being TOP DOG
RESPECT!
INVEGAUSER
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers BAD MAN PINUP!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 46
Hobbit = -1
CAUSE OF DROUGHT = -10
TOTAL RESPECT = 35
INVEGAUSER
CHEWED TO BITS BY GIANT TURTLES!
INVEGAUSER is currently undergoing psychiatric testing. It is interesting to note that at this time JIMMY SAVILLE is respected and loved by the nation and has the keys to H.M.P. Bluelight Towers and even his own private rooms.
In H.M.P. Bluelight Towers he is actually referred to as DR. SAVILLE and his opinions are respected even though he has no medical qualifications. He has expressed an interest in the case of INVEGAUSER.
Many blame INVEGAUSER for the drought in all drugs and tech caused by his mental collapse and his RESPECT levels have TUMBLED. If the treatment from DR. SAVILLE works the Made Men of the nick fear he may never make TOP DOG
Rival firms will surely be jockeying to fill the void he has left.
RESPECT!
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers BLOCK BARON!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 37
Hostage Taker MATHEW = 7
Ounces to take to market in DROUGHT is: TWO = 8
Booty Call with KIAH = 2
Secret RESPECT Bonus Unlocked:
DRUG DEALING TITAN = 4 +1 for previous form
Secret RESPECT Bonus Unlocked:
METHAQUALONE = 2
TOTAL RESPECT = 61
SHADOWMEISTER organised some much needed SHADE for his operations by increasing the pressure on the prison when he administered a carefully mixed PSYCHEDELIC COCKTAIL OF SIN AND DEPRAVITY to MATHEW, who was soon back to his old tricks and quick as you like took a prison officer hostage because he was a VAMPYR COUNT and as everyone knows, if you kill the VAMPYR COUNT you become the VAMPYR COUNT.
Fortunately the prison officer was still alive when rescued but his neck was covered with hickeys. The officer will be taking early retirement. MATHEW has been transferred to H.M.P. BROADMOOR under the care of the Board of Control for Lunacy and Mental Deficiency.
There was a huge search of the Prison, but SHADOWMEISTER had been preparing for this. He had organised STASH PLACE #05 THE FAKE BRICK IN THE WALL for his cell. It was so successful after a few shots of Chateau Bluelight even SHADOWMEISTER has trouble spotting which brick it is. Within ten minutes of the Lock Down being called off and dubbed "MASSIVE SUCCESS" by the Governor all of SHADOWMEISTER's customers had the incredible array of drugs to choose from - at increased drought prices of course. There was a further increase in the supply of ALPHABETI SPAGHETTI SOUP DRUGS available after SHADOWMEISTER had PRISON OFFICER KIAH rummage through his turds.
Scat Porn and DOiP A fucking great week for SHADOWMEISTER
His customers were life's grotesque failures, sustained by drugs and sexual fantasies
This lust cat of the gutters, SHADOWMEISTER in his search for glitter found only a tarnished life. Despite this he still seems to crave the sordid and solitary splendour of being TOP DOG
RESPECT!
INVEGAUSER
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers BAD MAN PINUP!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 46
Hobbit = -1
CAUSE OF DROUGHT = -10
TOTAL RESPECT = 35
INVEGAUSER
CHEWED TO BITS BY GIANT TURTLES!
INVEGAUSER is currently undergoing psychiatric testing. It is interesting to note that at this time JIMMY SAVILLE is respected and loved by the nation and has the keys to H.M.P. Bluelight Towers and even his own private rooms.
In H.M.P. Bluelight Towers he is actually referred to as DR. SAVILLE and his opinions are respected even though he has no medical qualifications. He has expressed an interest in the case of INVEGAUSER.
Many blame INVEGAUSER for the drought in all drugs and tech caused by his mental collapse and his RESPECT levels have TUMBLED. If the treatment from DR. SAVILLE works the Made Men of the nick fear he may never make TOP DOG
Rival firms will surely be jockeying to fill the void he has left.
RESPECT!
Last edited:
leet
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2008
- Messages
- 939
SWILOW
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CUT THROAT!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 33
Hobbit = -10
Business as Usual ABDU = 3
Business as Usual ALEX = 1
Secret DISRESPECT Penalty Unlocked:
WANDERING ABOUT WITHOUT A FUCKING CLUE = -10
TOTAL RESPECT = 17
DAMMED ARE THE WEAK
SWILOW has not recovered from his 6-APB binge. he roams the wards threatening to shiv people then collapses foaming at the mouth. Being treated with huge quantities of THORAZINE all week in the SICK BAY.
SWILOW is currently undergoing psychiatric testing. It is interesting to note that at this time JIMMY SAVILLE is respected and loved by the nation and has the keys to H.M.P. Bluelight Towers and even his own private rooms.
In H.M.P. Bluelight Towers he is actually referred to as DR. SAVILLE and his opinions are respected even though he has no medical qualifications. He has expressed an interest in the case of SWILOW.
His FAM are struggling to ensure it was BUSINESS AS USUAL as rival firms are moving in on his turf and the BETA DOGS spend all their time slicing mandem up instead of selling gear and the business is suffering.
ALEX has become very disillusioned and is committing depraved atrocities that ABDU is revolted by. SWILOW's FAM are keeping it together but without his guidance there has been a significant drop in the influence exerted by his crew.
The prison population is capitalizing on this power vacuum.
SWILOW is losing the plot. He will have to step up to the mark should he wish to reach the pinnacle of prison life and become TOP DOG
RESPECT!
WO1FG4NG
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers FILCHER!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 8
Hobbit = -1
TOTAL RESPECT = 7
WO1FG4NG won no RESPECT from the other inmates, just hung out all week in the prison workshop carrying out ultra-low paid, mind-numbing, and repetitious manual work. Although a feared individual, WO1FG4NG will find his work cut out for him without a crew behind him. His hopes to dominate are fading like the ink on his library ticket, but a LONE WOLF can still be a BETA DOG and dominate the lesser cons and hope to become TOP DOG one day. Still one of the most feared individuals in the prison.
RESPECT!
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CUT THROAT!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 33
Hobbit = -10
Business as Usual ABDU = 3
Business as Usual ALEX = 1
Secret DISRESPECT Penalty Unlocked:
WANDERING ABOUT WITHOUT A FUCKING CLUE = -10
TOTAL RESPECT = 17
DAMMED ARE THE WEAK
SWILOW has not recovered from his 6-APB binge. he roams the wards threatening to shiv people then collapses foaming at the mouth. Being treated with huge quantities of THORAZINE all week in the SICK BAY.
SWILOW is currently undergoing psychiatric testing. It is interesting to note that at this time JIMMY SAVILLE is respected and loved by the nation and has the keys to H.M.P. Bluelight Towers and even his own private rooms.
In H.M.P. Bluelight Towers he is actually referred to as DR. SAVILLE and his opinions are respected even though he has no medical qualifications. He has expressed an interest in the case of SWILOW.
His FAM are struggling to ensure it was BUSINESS AS USUAL as rival firms are moving in on his turf and the BETA DOGS spend all their time slicing mandem up instead of selling gear and the business is suffering.
ALEX has become very disillusioned and is committing depraved atrocities that ABDU is revolted by. SWILOW's FAM are keeping it together but without his guidance there has been a significant drop in the influence exerted by his crew.
The prison population is capitalizing on this power vacuum.
SWILOW is losing the plot. He will have to step up to the mark should he wish to reach the pinnacle of prison life and become TOP DOG
RESPECT!
WO1FG4NG
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers FILCHER!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 8
Hobbit = -1
TOTAL RESPECT = 7
WO1FG4NG won no RESPECT from the other inmates, just hung out all week in the prison workshop carrying out ultra-low paid, mind-numbing, and repetitious manual work. Although a feared individual, WO1FG4NG will find his work cut out for him without a crew behind him. His hopes to dominate are fading like the ink on his library ticket, but a LONE WOLF can still be a BETA DOG and dominate the lesser cons and hope to become TOP DOG one day. Still one of the most feared individuals in the prison.
RESPECT!
Last edited:
leet
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2008
- Messages
- 939
WELCOME TO THE GUTTER
SPEEDKING
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers HOBBIT!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 4
Hobbit = -4
TOTAL RESPECT = 0
SPEEDKING Won no RESPECT from the other inmates, just hung out all week in the prison workshop smashing Meatloaf CD's with a toffee hammer. The Probation Service are "promising" to "look into" a Home Visit if the GOOD CONDUCT continues.
WOT A MUG
BOO!
WELCOME
TO
H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
REHABILITATION CENTRE
MAKING PRISONS WORK
TO
H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS
REHABILITATION CENTRE
MAKING PRISONS WORK
SPECIFIED
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers GOVERNORS POODLE
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 0
Hobbit = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -5
SPECIFIED is promised a chance for a HOME VISIT next week.
On parole.
Wearing a tag.
As part of the SKILLS FOR REHABILITATION programme SPECIFIED is hard at work for 12 hours a day 6 days a week in H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS PIG FARM mucking out the pigs for 4.23 a week.
SPECIFIED is determined to win early FREEDOM.
If it really happens SPECIFIED will be able to meet up with Fam, have a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, have a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for SPECIFIED.
Pathetic.
TURNCOAT DIVVY!
WOT A WANKER!
ALASDAIRM
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers GOVERNORS POODLE!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 1
HOBBIT = -4
TOTAL RESPECT = -5
ALASDAIRM is promised a chance for a HOME VISIT next week.
On parole.
Wearing a tag.
As part of the SKILLS FOR REHABILITATION programme ALASDAIRM is hard at work for 12 hours a day 6 days a week in H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS PIG FARM mucking out the pigs for 4.23 a week.
ALASDAIRM is determined to win early FREEDOM.
If it really happens ALASDAIRM will be able to meet up with Fam, have a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, have a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for ALASDAIRM.
Pathetic.
TURNCOAT DIVVY!
WOT A WANKER!
NEVERSICKANYMORE
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers GOVERNORS POODLE!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 1
Hobbit = -4
TOTAL RESPECT = -5
NEVERSICKANYMORE is promised a chance for a HOME VISIT next week.
On parole.
Wearing a tag.
As part of the SKILLS FOR REHABILITATION programme NEVERSICKANYMORE is hard at work for 12 hours a day 6 days a week in H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS PIG FARM mucking out the pigs for 4.23 a week.
NEVERSICKANYMORE is determined to win early FREEDOM.
If it really happens NEVERSICKANYMORE will be able to meet up with Fam, have a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, have a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for NEVERSICKANYMORE.
Pathetic.
TURNCOAT DIVVY!
WOT A WANKER!
NOODLE
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers HOBBIT!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 1
Hobbit = -4
TOTAL RESPECT = -5
NOODLE is promised a chance for a HOME VISIT next week.
On parole.
Wearing a tag.
As part of the SKILLS FOR REHABILITATION programme NOODLE is hard at work for 12 hours a day 6 days a week in H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS PIG FARM mucking out the pigs for 4.23 a week.
NOODLE is determined to win early FREEDOM.
If it really happens NOODLE will be able to meet up with Fam, have a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, have a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for NOODLE.
Pathetic.
TURNCOAT DIVVY!
WOT A WANKER!
THE LOVE BANDIT
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers HOBBIT!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 1
Hobbit = -4
TOTAL RESPECT = -5
THE LOVE BANDIT is promised a chance for a HOME VISIT next week.
On parole.
Wearing a tag.
As part of the SKILLS FOR REHABILITATION programme THE LOVE BANDIT is hard at work for 12 hours a day 6 days a week in H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS PIG FARM mucking out the pigs for 4.23 a week.
THE LOVE BANDIT is determined to win early FREEDOM.
If it really happens THE LOVE BANDIT will be able to meet up with Fam, have a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, have a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for THE LOVE BANDIT.
Pathetic.
TURNCOAT DIVVY!
WOT A WANKER!
CAPTAIN HEROIN
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers HOBBIT!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = 3
Hobbit = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -5
CAPTAIN HEROIN is promised a chance for a HOME VISIT next week.
On parole.
Wearing a tag.
As part of the SKILLS FOR REHABILITATION programme CAPTAIN HEROIN is hard at work for 12 hours a day 6 days a week in H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS PIG FARM mucking out the pigs for 4.23 a week.
CAPTAIN HEROIN is determined to win early FREEDOM.
If it really happens CAPTAIN HEROIN will be able to meet up with Fam, have a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, have a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for CAPTAIN HEROIN.
Pathetic.
TURNCOAT DIVVY!
WOT A WANKER!
Last edited:
leet
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2008
- Messages
- 939
ON THE OUT
SHADY'S FOX
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CITIZEN!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = -5
CABBAGE PATCH KID = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -10
SHADY'S FOX is on a HOME VISIT this week.
On parole.
Wearing a tag.
SHADY'S FOX is meeting up with Fam, having a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, having a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for SHADY'S FOX.
LIKE A MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC
BACK IN THE NICK NEXT WEEK SONNY
LOSER!
MEL22
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CITIZEN!
RESPECT points totalizer:
Current Total = -5
CABBAGE PATCH KID = -5
TOTAL RESPECT = -10
MEL22 iis on a HOME VISIT this week.
On parole.
Wearing a tag.
MEL22 is meeting up with Fam, having a fancy hotdog in the Blind Beggar, then off with everyone to watch the football, sup a few pints in their local, having a laugh and a kebab after chucking out time; back to the drum to sleep in own bed and no-one is going to come knocking on the door, oh no, none of that looking over your shoulder paranoid bullshit for MEL22.
LIKE A MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC
BACK IN THE NICK NEXT WEEK SONNY
LOSER!
MAL3VOLENT
IS
TOP DOG
RESPECT!
IT'S ALL TO PLAY FOR!
WATCH OUT FAM FOR EPISODE #7
"That dog is a MONGREL"
COMING SOON!
ORIGINAL PIRATE MATERIAL
IS
TOP DOG
RESPECT!
IT'S ALL TO PLAY FOR!
WATCH OUT FAM FOR EPISODE #7
"That dog is a MONGREL"
COMING SOON!
ORIGINAL PIRATE MATERIAL
Last edited:
Speed King
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2014
- Messages
- 6,074
Fuk that hobbit shit. Speed King will smash more then Meatloaf CD's all while keeping cool with the warden and guards. Speed King is like Morgan Freeman in Shawshank.
He gets commerce into prision and stays cool with the inmates.
He gets commerce into prision and stays cool with the inmates.
leet
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2008
- Messages
- 939
Episode #7 - that dog is a MONGREL!
This is a:
Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Open To All Forum Members
Episode difficulty level:7
Ready?
Well let's play:
(i)You blagged your way onto the Vulnerable Prisoners Unit and SHANKED one of those ANIMALS right the fuck up.
(ii)You framed a MUPPET for the stabbing although EVERYONE knows you did it.
(iii)You recruited some SOUND LADS to enforce your will and sell your GEAR.
(iv)You COERCED a SCREW into bringing your contraband into prison.
(v)You BANGED your choice of the Category A TRAMP FRAULEINS
(vi)You ordered a PRISON OFFICER taken HOSTAGE to ease the HEAT off you and your crew.
You really are a man who can do whatever the fuck he wants.
Ex coppers doing time for a crime. The lowest of the low in any prison. Unless it's an EX COP who is also a PEDO. Most of them stay on Vulnerable Persons Wing, but a cocky few choose to have a cover story constructed for them and try to do their time like everyone else. Aaaaaand they can never forget what they once were and will SQUEAL like a pig on a honeymoon about any rule breaking that goes on!
NOT ON YOUR WATCH!
There has been an new intake of prisoners into H.M.P. Bluelight Towers this week, and you have had a nod from your contacts on the outside that one of the new guys isn't all he's made out to be...
Far from it. He's fucking plod. In prison it's a serious matter to accuse someone of being a copper when they're not. Terrible things happen to ex coppers in prison. Really bad. It wouldn't do your RESPECT any good if you tossed a REGULAR under that bus.
By pulling a few strings, the following morning you get a placement in the bin emptying team at the WELFARE OFFICE. Files on all the prisoners are kept there. All you need is a couple of minutes alone there to confirm your suspicions about WHO IS the pork concealed in your pack, or any other potential LOWLIFE in this crop that needs CULLING
You also have time to see if anyone TASTY is available to RECRUIT as BUSINESS IS THAT GOOD!
#1. USE YOUR PORK RADAR TO FLUSH THE PIG/UNDESIRABLES OUT
#2. MAYBE HIRE A NEW RECRUIT
and yes, you'll be the man, dog!
WHOSE FILES YOU GOING TO PULL? You have enough time to check TWO:
Remember: For you this is NOT just for fun, a grass on YOUR wing could FUCK EVERYTHING UP.
NOMINATE THE EX COP AND READ THE CV OF POTENTIAL NEW RECRUIT
I will publish the results in about a week. Keep your eyes PEELED for #8 - THE FINAL EPISODE of this exciting prison simulation!
Welcome to H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS!
This is a:
Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Open To All Forum Members
Episode difficulty level:7
Ready?
Well let's play:
TOP DOG
Episode #7 - That dog is a MONGREL!
Episode #7 - That dog is a MONGREL!
(i)You blagged your way onto the Vulnerable Prisoners Unit and SHANKED one of those ANIMALS right the fuck up.
(ii)You framed a MUPPET for the stabbing although EVERYONE knows you did it.
(iii)You recruited some SOUND LADS to enforce your will and sell your GEAR.
(iv)You COERCED a SCREW into bringing your contraband into prison.
(v)You BANGED your choice of the Category A TRAMP FRAULEINS
(vi)You ordered a PRISON OFFICER taken HOSTAGE to ease the HEAT off you and your crew.
You really are a man who can do whatever the fuck he wants.
Ex coppers doing time for a crime. The lowest of the low in any prison. Unless it's an EX COP who is also a PEDO. Most of them stay on Vulnerable Persons Wing, but a cocky few choose to have a cover story constructed for them and try to do their time like everyone else. Aaaaaand they can never forget what they once were and will SQUEAL like a pig on a honeymoon about any rule breaking that goes on!
NOT ON YOUR WATCH!
There has been an new intake of prisoners into H.M.P. Bluelight Towers this week, and you have had a nod from your contacts on the outside that one of the new guys isn't all he's made out to be...
Far from it. He's fucking plod. In prison it's a serious matter to accuse someone of being a copper when they're not. Terrible things happen to ex coppers in prison. Really bad. It wouldn't do your RESPECT any good if you tossed a REGULAR under that bus.
By pulling a few strings, the following morning you get a placement in the bin emptying team at the WELFARE OFFICE. Files on all the prisoners are kept there. All you need is a couple of minutes alone there to confirm your suspicions about WHO IS the pork concealed in your pack, or any other potential LOWLIFE in this crop that needs CULLING
You also have time to see if anyone TASTY is available to RECRUIT as BUSINESS IS THAT GOOD!
#1. USE YOUR PORK RADAR TO FLUSH THE PIG/UNDESIRABLES OUT
#2. MAYBE HIRE A NEW RECRUIT
and yes, you'll be the man, dog!
WHOSE FILES YOU GOING TO PULL? You have enough time to check TWO:
DAVE
MASOOD
TONY
BILLY
MARK
MARTY
MASOOD
TONY
BILLY
MARK
MARTY
Remember: For you this is NOT just for fun, a grass on YOUR wing could FUCK EVERYTHING UP.
NOMINATE THE EX COP AND READ THE CV OF POTENTIAL NEW RECRUIT
I will publish the results in about a week. Keep your eyes PEELED for #8 - THE FINAL EPISODE of this exciting prison simulation!
CHECK IN HERE REGULARLY FAM TO SEE WHO IS THE RESPECTED
TOP DOG
EPISODE #7
AND WHO IS THE DISRESPECTED PRISON CORGI!
KILLING DREAMS
AND
MURDERING HOPE
TOP DOG
EPISODE #7
AND WHO IS THE DISRESPECTED PRISON CORGI!
KILLING DREAMS
AND
MURDERING HOPE
Last edited:
mtu mwendawazimu
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2018
- Messages
- 17,258
Recruiting Dave. He looks like he could kill someone without flinching. Read his CV, and my suspicions were confirmed - he killed an entire family in cold blood. It started with lustful desire, and ended with the Burns family father looking like a chopped up cuck. The children were put in the garbage, after being forced to watch the music video for Butterfly by Crazy Town. Dave is a real mind fucker. Not only is he into physical abuse in the way of complete control over entire families, but he likes to watch their facial expressions become contorted as he slowly alters their perception of reality by giving identity cues and attentional focus in the way of false memories of action performance from observation.
Mark and Marty are definitely the shit-eaters. Marty is the cop because of that crooked smile. Dead give away. And Mark.. don't get me started on Mark. After being coerced into working the night shift at McDonalds, be got back at the cruel world for his miserable existence in the way of mixing his cum into the mayonnaise. Not only is Mark degenerate bastard, but he also has an IQ of 77, which renders him utterly useless.
Mark and Marty are definitely the shit-eaters. Marty is the cop because of that crooked smile. Dead give away. And Mark.. don't get me started on Mark. After being coerced into working the night shift at McDonalds, be got back at the cruel world for his miserable existence in the way of mixing his cum into the mayonnaise. Not only is Mark degenerate bastard, but he also has an IQ of 77, which renders him utterly useless.
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2006
- Messages
- 65,043
AKINWALE OLUWAFOLAJIMI OLUWATOPE AROBIEKE
BULLSEYE!
THE MAN WHO SQUEEZES MUSCLES
THE MAN IS LEGEND IN HIS OWN RIGHT AND NEEDS NO FURTHER EXPL...
O.K.
READ ALL ABOUT PURPLE AKI HERE:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/resources/idt-6d083913-0bfb-4988-8cd8-d126fa6dcff1
A LEGENDARY PROSPECT!
Oh my god yes
- Joined
- Feb 8, 2006
- Messages
- 65,043
I spent the afternoon shadowing Billy and Dave. Billy first... the moment I laid eyes on him I got a feeling between my shoulder blades, an itch that made the old tic in my right eyeball go off. Over the years this has been a reliable indicator of the presence of pork. Add that to the rumors going around about him, and I made my decision on who smells like bacon. After following him around and talking to my contacts that I planted covertly who had interactions with him, it has become clear the man is also a raging pedophile. In retrospect, I should have known with those nervous, sunken eyes, and that face that practically screams "I'm a sniveling coward who can't bear to commit atrocities against grown people, it's children for me DON'T KILL ME PLEASZZZZE!". Outing him will bring Shadowmeister nothing but pleasure.
Now Dave, on the other hand... no trace of pork on the man, though at first glance, you might think he was dripping in grease. But no, I had the opportunity to "welcome him to the block", and had a revealing conversation with him. The man is ex-military, dishonorably discharged for being the biggest American heroin smuggler in Afghanistan. Most of the fire shit on the East Coast was ultimately supplied by him from 2012 through 2014. Recently he was transferred to H.M.P. Bluelight Towers for good behavior. Of course, he was never out of the game, he's just really good at what he does. He's eager to get into the business, and I let him know that I'm the Top Dog when it comes to drugs around here. He's motivated, skilled, and eager. One to watch out for, as he's got his eye on the top spot, but Shadowmeister can manage people and he'll be a strong asset to the team.
Now Dave, on the other hand... no trace of pork on the man, though at first glance, you might think he was dripping in grease. But no, I had the opportunity to "welcome him to the block", and had a revealing conversation with him. The man is ex-military, dishonorably discharged for being the biggest American heroin smuggler in Afghanistan. Most of the fire shit on the East Coast was ultimately supplied by him from 2012 through 2014. Recently he was transferred to H.M.P. Bluelight Towers for good behavior. Of course, he was never out of the game, he's just really good at what he does. He's eager to get into the business, and I let him know that I'm the Top Dog when it comes to drugs around here. He's motivated, skilled, and eager. One to watch out for, as he's got his eye on the top spot, but Shadowmeister can manage people and he'll be a strong asset to the team.