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    tired of being categorized as an alcoholic 
    #1
    I've been drinking in moderation for almost a year(partly because of a pill ovedose that really messed up my body and left me having to suffer horrible hangovers when I get really drunk) yet everybody is still openly calling me an alcoholic. My ex girlfriend says she'll only get together with me again if I completely stop drinking which is ridicolous(and also really hypocritical since she's a shrooms dealer-but apparently that disgusting stuff is ok because it's healing or something). My doctor also thinks I'm still an alcoholic and told me to go to rehab and that I'm doing serious damage to my body. My sister still doesn't want to talk to me untill I stop drinking. I think the whole thing is ridicolous. Untill a year ago I used to drink all day long and end every day in a blackout. I used to drink a quart and a half of whiskey(or more) or its equivalent in other drinks every day. Now I only have two drinking sessions a day. I drink a litre of wine in the moring and two litres at night. At no point in the day am I drunk(at night it's usually barely enough to make me fall asleep). Only about 4-5 times a month do I get really drunk(usually out with friends). I now do a lot of stuff I couldn't do when I was drinking all day every day; I read books watch documentaries, play sports etc. How do I get it through to people that I am not an alcoholic anymore? It's like they want to keep me in that bracket for some reason even though my drinking is not having an effect on them anymore(not that it did when I was drinking hard either, just occasion loans and being slightly more dramatic-never hurtful though). I'm never gonna totally stop drinking because I enjoy it way too much so that's not an option. Can any of you guys help me with this? Also I'm sorry if I posted this in the wrong category, I'm kinda new to this. Thanks for your advice.
     

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    #2
    why dont you try this to see if your an alcoholic: Stop drinking for a bit. If you start having WD symptoms (I'm pretty sure you know what they consist of) then you can safely assume you are in fact addicted to it.
    If you dont have WD symptoms, see if you have enough self control to not drink even if you want to, it will help prove to your loved ones and doctors that your not an alcoholic.
     

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    #3
    I mean no disrespect with this, just an opinion.

    Sounds like your family/friends etc dont want to be around you period if your drinking. I think you being an alcoholic or not isn't the point. Even if it's one beer it most likely brings up memories of your past use.

    You said "I'm not an alcoholic anymore", but your still drinking. You can't have been an alcoholic at one point then expect people to be okay with drinking any ammount. Kinda of like an ex heroin addict who thinks it's okay to do just 1 hit a day.
     

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    #4
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    I would have to agree with your Dr. that the Amount your Drinking is seriously fucking up your Liver And among other things in your body. We now know that the things the Liver Filters for our body. Specifically Alcoholics that had stopped Drinking end up with Liver Disease And Liver Failure due to the Fact that all the Shit that our Liver Filters eventually SLOWLY leaves the Liver And is sent back into your body for lack of A better way for Me to explain it possibly someone else who knows more about this somewhat Newly found Fact could explain in more "proper" detail.
     

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    #5
    Quote Originally Posted by mtop2036 View Post
    I mean no disrespect with this, just an opinion.

    Sounds like your family/friends etc dont want to be around you period if your drinking. I think you being an alcoholic or not isn't the point. Even if it's one beer it most likely brings up memories of your past use.

    You said "I'm not an alcoholic anymore", but your still drinking. You can't have been an alcoholic at one point then expect people to be okay with drinking any ammount. Kinda of like an ex heroin addict who thinks it's okay to do just 1 hit a day.
    Very true. People close to a person who has had drug/alcohol/gambling issues stay in constant fear that the addiction may come back, and that is a very legitimate fear to have. You have obviously done things to hurt them because of your drinking, so they don't want to be involved with you when you have alcohol in your system. Regardless of whether YOU think you have an alcohol problem now is irrelevant (an 3 liters a day, starting in the morning is NOT MODERATE drinking). If you want them in your life, it seems like they have given you the ultimatum of booze or them.

    Seems like a Sober Living or The Dark Side thread to me. The only HR aspect of this is about the relationships between the OP and his family/ loved ones.
     

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    #6
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    Ray don't feel offended but what you call moderation. As would I going by my standards and way of perception on things. Is not moderate a bottle in the morning is by most prob considered alcoholic.

    Every day after 17:00 for me would involve addiction as stopping will cause issues.

    You pickecd one of the few drugs that is very easy to spot as your breath will carry the ethanol at least 1/2 meter away. Having many experiences with other substances this one just is really hard to miss except maybe for people missing smell.

    And a daily fume of alcolhol can lead to stigmatizing/ people noticing.

    Defenitely not a healthy habit though, one drink a day could be damaging but ammounts above three really worry me. Look into MilkThistle and other liver protectors. And stay away of Paracetamol/ Tylenol. Good luck
     

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    #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Deeds View Post
    why dont you try this to see if your an alcoholic: Stop drinking for a bit. If you start having WD symptoms (I'm pretty sure you know what they consist of) then you can safely assume you are in fact addicted to it. If you dont have WD symptoms, see if you have enough self control to not drink even if you want to, it will help prove to your loved ones and doctors that your not an alcoholic.
    I don't really think doing this would help because as I said I had a pill overdose that really messed my body up to the extent that I never really feel "normal" anymore(I'm pretty much constantly shaking and in constant-although mostly mild- pain)
     

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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by mtop2036 View Post
    I mean no disrespect with this, just an opinion. Sounds like your family/friends etc dont want to be around you period if your drinking. I think you being an alcoholic or not isn't the point. Even if it's one beer it most likely brings up memories of your past use. You said "I'm not an alcoholic anymore", but your still drinking. You can't have been an alcoholic at one point then expect people to be okay with drinking any ammount. Kinda of like an ex heroin addict who thinks it's okay to do just 1 hit a day.
    I see the point you're making here but even though this might make it look like I myself am being selfish I just can't help but think they're being a little too selfish in wanting me to stop drinking all together...I just love everything about drinking so I doubt I'll ever stop and surely there can be a compromise between drinking the huge amount of booze I once did daily and not drinking at all...I just think as long as I'm not harming anyone(and I'm really not right now) I should be allowed to drink the rather small amount I do in peace.
     

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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Thomas29 View Post
    I would have to agree with your Dr. that the Amount your Drinking is seriously fucking up your Liver And among other things in your body. We now know that the things the Liver Filters for our body. Specifically Alcoholics that had stopped Drinking end up with Liver Disease And Liver Failure due to the Fact that all the Shit that our Liver Filters eventually SLOWLY leaves the Liver And is sent back into your body for lack of A better way for Me to explain it possibly someone else who knows more about this somewhat Newly found Fact could explain in more "proper" detail.
    I know, but I'm only 24 so I don't think I have to fear liver failure any time soon, especially with the amount I'm drinking. I just think my doctor is being overly dramatic about it because that's his job
     

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    #10
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    The way to get people to stop characterizing you as an alcoholic is to significantly reduce your drinking. Anyone drinking 20 a day and drinking even more than that 4 to 5 times a month will be characterized as an alcoholic. I doubt you could just quit without medical intervention at the levels youre drinking however. Youd be in danger of major wds. If you have strong willpower you could possibly taper.
     

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    #11
    Ray, you have dismissed everybody's advice here and just used excuses to justify your drinking.
    I am an alcoholic myself. Read through some of the threads I have started. I'm only 25.
    If you want your family back then you have to cut the booze or seriously become a moderate drinker (a couple of drinks a couple of times a week, not 3 liters per day). Your Doctor has probably already labeled you an alcoholic and there is little you can do to change his/her mind. The doctor isn't being dramatic, you are underestimating the severity of the situation. If you continue to drink like this you will seriously mess your body up. When I was seeking help on here (maybe another forum actually) I was told of at least two people who had died from liver disease at 32 years old. You are not that far off in terms of age.

    Everybody here has a PhD in excuses and justifications, so dont feed us any please. Are you looking for actual help or are you just wanting people to agree with you?
     

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    #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Deeds View Post
    Ray, you have dismissed everybody's advice here and just used excuses to justify your drinking. I am an alcoholic myself. Read through some of the threads I have started. I'm only 25. If you want your family back then you have to cut the booze or seriously become a moderate drinker (a couple of drinks a couple of times a week, not 3 liters per day). Your Doctor has probably already labeled you an alcoholic and there is little you can do to change his/her mind. The doctor isn't being dramatic, you are underestimating the severity of the situation. If you continue to drink like this you will seriously mess your body up. When I was seeking help on here (maybe another forum actually) I was told of at least two people who had died from liver disease at 32 years old. You are not that far off in terms of age. Everybody here has a PhD in excuses and justifications, so dont feed us any please. Are you looking for actual help or are you just wanting people to agree with you?
    First of all thanks for you care and I do mean that sincerely.....but my body already is messed up....not by the booze but by the pills....however I just fell like I've established a good thing for myself with only two drinking sessions a day and rarely being actually drunk.....but I'll never be able to cut the booze completely because I just love it too much(not even the drunkenness, just the process of drinking)...I just feeel like if the people that supposedly love me can't accept that, maybe I should go look for people that will actually love me for the moderatly drinking man I am
     

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    #13
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    Lance Dodes says how that is just a label and not what someone with a drinking problem actually has to identify with. He is a cutting edge addiction specialist. Just saying he addressed the label of alcoholic and even the bogus term alcoholism in his book Breaking Addiction. I mean alcohol can become a problem like in the sense of someone getting physically hooked on the stuff however Lance really shined light on how our culture loves to smack labels on things they don't truly understand.

    A person who struggles with alcohol is a human being. They are not an alcoholic unless they want to identify as one. Alcoholism to me only makes sense in the sense of being physically hooked on it where it is an actual disease-like sickness that would be best treated with hospitalization.

    If you aren't hooked physically you might still have an issue where you drink compulsively and experience negative effects in mind and body due to it but you aren't actually dependent.

    Hope you are well.
     

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    #14
    Like we have all said, your drinking is excessive. I bet your family would love to see you not have a drink in the morning. That is a HUGE deal with a lot of people who are struggling with maintaining a relationship with an individual who drinks more than is socially acceptable.
    In all honesty they probably wouldn't care if you drink if you hadn't done something to hurt them while under the influence. Instead of waiting for them to change their views about this situation, why dont you take the initiative to show them that they mean more to you than the booze. That doesn't mean to stop drinking completely, but if you dont think your addicted then show them you dont have to drink that much a day, you just feel like it.
    It sounds like you want both the booze and family, and my family thought I prioritized my addiction(s) over them. And I in fact did. It's the definition of alcoholism and drug addiction. Why not at least taper down 5 bottles of wine a day to something like 2? It would benefit your long term health and your relationships.


    Anyways I got very off track from the personal harm reduction aspect of this. Hope you find something useful in this info though Ray.
     

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    #15
    Ray, I get it your young as am I. I'm 29. And I'm sure you like going out drinking with friends like most people out age. But once an alcoholic always an alcoholic. Same with drug addicts.

    You said your not drinking to the point of harming yourself or anyone else. But you are. Even if you only drank 1 beer a day for the rest of your life you are physically hurting yourself. Also you are emotionally harming the people who love you by continuing to drink.

    And I'm sorry but I don't think your going to find anyone who's going to be okay with your drinking. If you do it's probably other alcoholics/addicts and they will just bring you down further as you will them.

    It's not easy to find people who truly love you in life. But at your young age you all ready have that and it sounds like they are trying so hard to keep that love going. But it's a two way street.

    I'm not a drinker but I love opiates. And for years I told myself I was never going to quit, I like them to much. I thought it was the missing link to my life. Well I was wrong, like so many people before me. And after 15 years of been on them I'm almost done.

    You also got to keep in mind that no one knows when their body will give out. Even in people with no drinking/drug use. It's a very serious chance that you wake up one day with serious liver problems and that's just to start but I have a feeling you all ready know this.

    And I understand your struggling from your past od but with all ready havng an drug od you need to be even more careful with drinking. I'm sure you know deep down that drinking is only making your past issues worse.

    I don't expect you to fully quit drinking overnight, that's unrealistic but you can try to cut back.

    Remember your favorite toy when you were a kid? I bet you don't play with it now. My point is that people outgrow things even if it may not seem like it. But don't go past the point to where you can't give it up when you feel like you want to.

    Just be careful man. I wish you the best of luck.
     

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    #16
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    Hi Ray, I'm going to move this to SL- Sober Living. Don't let the name fool you, it's actually a great spot that encompasses far more than just "sober" living. Plus everyone who has posted here will have this saved in their subscribed threads list under 'settings' at the top right of the page. Best of Luck to you. If I can be of any assistance please PM me.

    OD-->SL
     

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    #17
    Quote Originally Posted by Ray Smith View Post
    I've been drinking in moderation for almost a year(partly because of a pill ovedose that really messed up my body and left me having to suffer horrible hangovers when I get really drunk) yet everybody is still openly calling me an alcoholic. My ex girlfriend says she'll only get together with me again if I completely stop drinking which is ridicolous(and also really hypocritical since she's a shrooms dealer-but apparently that disgusting stuff is ok because it's healing or something). My doctor also thinks I'm still an alcoholic and told me to go to rehab and that I'm doing serious damage to my body. My sister still doesn't want to talk to me untill I stop drinking. I think the whole thing is ridicolous. Untill a year ago I used to drink all day long and end every day in a blackout. I used to drink a quart and a half of whiskey(or more) or its equivalent in other drinks every day. Now I only have two drinking sessions a day. I drink a litre of wine in the moring and two litres at night. At no point in the day am I drunk(at night it's usually barely enough to make me fall asleep). Only about 4-5 times a month do I get really drunk(usually out with friends). I now do a lot of stuff I couldn't do when I was drinking all day every day; I read books watch documentaries, play sports etc. How do I get it through to people that I am not an alcoholic anymore? It's like they want to keep me in that bracket for some reason even though my drinking is not having an effect on them anymore(not that it did when I was drinking hard either, just occasion loans and being slightly more dramatic-never hurtful though). I'm never gonna totally stop drinking because I enjoy it way too much so that's not an option. Can any of you guys help me with this? Also I'm sorry if I posted this in the wrong category, I'm kinda new to this. Thanks for your advice.
    Please dont take offence but 2 drinking sessions a day including a liter of wine in the morning and getting reallly drunk at least once a week?

    I'd honestly struggle not to say that you are indeed an alcoholic. That is not the pattern of drinking for someone who can take it or leave it.
     

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    #18
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    Your doctor is not being overly dramatic. Three liters of wine a day is extreme by any measure. Just because you don't "feel" drunk doesn't mean you aren't - it just means your tolerance is through the roof. And your relative youth doesn't rule out the possibility of liver damage. I've been in rehab with people in their early 30s who already had cirrhosis. At the very least, you should have a blood panel done to test your liver enzymes. But, you're clearly not ready to stop. We'll be here for you when you are. Meanwhile, don't be surprised if your family/significant other starts distancing themselves from you. I drank myself out of a marriage so I speak from direct experience on this.
    Struggling with addiction? Join us at Sober Living. We can help.
     

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    #19
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    I never thought I would quit doing heroin. I loved everything about it with all my being. And I didn't stop all at once. It was a more gradual falling out of love with it over several years.

    Just try to stay safe and be honest with yourself about how you feel. If you want to do it no one can or will stop you.
    Addicted? Want to stop? We can help! Come to the sober living forum!
    http://www.bluelight.org/vb/forums/269-Sober-Living
     

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    #20
    thank you for all your response, guys. While I don't really agree with your opinions I appreciate your advice. Who knows, maybe I'll post again if I decide to stop drinking completely.
     

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    #21
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    You trying to convince other people? Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself.
    An addict (alcohol is a drug) is always the last to know they have a problem. I won't sugar coat shit as that won't save your life, but if you have to consciously moderate your drinking or even ask yourself if you have a problem; you have a problem.

    Also using withdrawal as a gage for addiction is poor: withdrawal indicates physical dependency which isn't addiction. There are thousands of chronic pain patients and millions of people on antidepressants who are physically dependent on them and are not addicts.
     

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    #22
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    I'm closing this. I don't know why this was kicked over to us from OD, when what the OP really wants is for someone(s) to justify his excessive alcohol consumption. We can all tell him until every last one of us is blue in the face, that consuming 3L wine/day is not "moderate drinking" and he's still going to insist it is (hell, I didn't even drink 3L of wine/day and those of you who know me know when I drink I am a raging alcoholic). Anyhoo, it's antithetical to the positive spirit we're trying to maintain toward living if not a sober life, one that at least reduces harm. If and when the OP is at least receptive to harm reduction, we will welcome him to open another thread.
    Struggling with addiction? Join us at Sober Living. We can help.
     

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