Flashback or panick attach after ketamine trip

[psychotrek]

Hi everybody,

To introduce myself, I'm about 30 yo, I'm socially integrated with friend, work, girlfriend, and have no family problems. I nor have physical or psychological problems, except maybe some occasional little depressions wich have never been treated with medicine and didn't occurs since 1 years. I read on bluelight since a long time but never post before today. I use drugs since ~10 years, with often many precautions (ie : dosages, set and setting ... ). I test MDMA, LSD, shrooms, cannabis, salvia, cocaine and recently discover ketamine. I never really experienced a psychological badtrip ; only physical with alcohol or cannabis abuse.

There is a month ago, I tried K with 25 mg (threshold dose), then 50mg and two weeks later with 85mg. The two first experiences was very enjoyable. My third test was approximately two weeks ago. I was very tired and not sure to want to trip. I achieve to convince myself to do it because I wanted to experience K-hole since a long time (I'm very curious of dissociative effects). I took 85mg of ketamine and the trip was very cool. It last 1h hour and during the next one, effects began to dissipate.
Then, I smoke a small joint to kick them again (I saw previously that cannabis and K make a powerful synergy). I start to trip again. It was cool at the beginning but the trip go more and more intense (not exactly as it was with only K). At this moment, I feel like I was falling asleep, but with the two drugs effects. A sensation of boiling start on the top of my head, and a tinnitus (a sound in my ears) began more and more intense. The vision was very colorful and speed behind my closed eyes.
I began to be anxious about How fare I will go. I open my eyes to connect again with reality and then, I feel like my conscious was separate into two realities : like I was conscious to be in the real word but with the feeling of being in a dream. The tinnitus didn't stop and i was very scary. Physically, my heart rate was normal, but I had the sensation of a very high blood pressure. I heard every thought in my head like we were two. I try to calm down with rationals ideas : I am very tired, I took some drugs so a such state is normal, I didn't took an heavy dose, I'm not physically in danger, I can move ... etc.
Effects fade out slowly and I try to sleep. It was difficult because my thoughts often go on scary thinks (Why did I still heard tinnitus? What if it still here tomorrow? Am I experiencing a panic attack? What a fool to play with drugs ... etc). I make weird dreams were my father was asking me about the best prostitute to buy.... On the next day, I was okay but a bit buzzed and the tinnitus was still a bit present.The next days, I completely recover : I can go to work, smoke some cannabis, drink some alcohol, smoke tobacco and didn't have such disconnected feeling again.

But yesterday, a friend came home. I was tired. I drink a beer, smoke a joint and suddenly, like a bullet in my head, pinnnnnnnng, a tinnitus grow in my ears and I feel again separate in two states - a dream and the reality. I immediately make a link with my previous difficult experience which increase anxiety. I feel like a very high blood pressure but normal heart rate ; I heard my friend talking to me but i was only listening to myself speaking with me in my head, unable to understand what he was saying. I was scary about : is it a flashback? Am I subject to panic attack now (with a sensation of derealization) ? Is it a common feeling I had on cannabis which scary me now? This disconnection last around 5mn and then I came back but I feel anxious for the rest of the night.

Today, I feel again buzzed, but I'm ok. Do you have a idea about what happen? Can it be a flashback? Can Ketamine damage my brain an open it to panic attack (I never experienced it before ... ) ?. I love LSD but I'm scary that such effect come back during the trip, or i stay stuck ...

Sorry if I didn't write correctly, English is not my native language.

Thank you for your answers,

note : My feeling during the ketamine trip look like theses ones : https://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=98018

 

[psychotrek]

Hi,

Here some news.

After this bad trip, I often felt anxious when i was smoking MJ : like the hypnotic effects was able to disconnect me again from reality. One night, I took a very small benzo to help me sleeping (bromazepam - I do it regularly). As usual, it work great but this time, just after falling asleep, I found myself in a very strange dream : I was in my house with some friend and colleagues from works. They all were very noisy and I was worried about disturbing my neighbor. I was also conscious that I was in a dream because of many things which was impossibles (like a box that doesn't exist in my house). Being anxious because of the noise, I tried to wake up but it was very difficult ; I think I experienced something like sleep paralysis. But finally my eyes opened and my room was soooooo calm and quit ; I felt like that too. I immediately think about my badtrip on K : it was like this wake up put a final end to the badtrip ; I am completely come back and now I can smoke without any fear or apprehension of disconnection.

Thank you for the "help", just writing this and putting some word on, was an help.