Incredibly Scared About Brain Dysfunction

[lane002]

The Strangest Phenomenon That?s Scaring Me to Death

Something incredibly bizarre has happened to my brain chemistry. In short, the euphoric and/or motivating effects of drugs - across the board - have gone away; however, the physical affects still exist. And it?s not a tolerance issue. I know this sounds impossible, but bare with me.
For example, stimulants increase my heart rate and curb my appetite but I get zero motivation or focus. (If it weren?t for the increased heart rate, I wouldn?t even know I was taking them.) Mushrooms weren?t working at all. I finally took about an eighth over a few hours and started to get some visuals but again zero euphoric or ?spiritual? effect. I just got some H for the first time in a year. I got slightly nauseous and sleepy - and am def itching a lot - but again no buzz in terms of how I felt emotionally or psychologically. Racetams don?t work at all. I just got some Xanax bars the other day, certain they would work because they always have and I haven?t taken them in months. I took one bar, then another, then another?eventually 6.5 bars and I had no affect whatsoever, not even tiredness. Absolutely nothing from Phenibut. Occasionally tianeptine will make me tired but that?s the exception not the rule. Again, I know this sounds impossible. Hell, if I were reading someone else?s post who was saying this I would almost certainly dismiss them as a.) full of shit b.) flat out insane c.) getting all their drugs from one source and they were fake, etc. But, I swear on my life I?m not making this shit up, I?m not crazy, and it has nothing to do with the source of the drugs - as each one is from a different person and/or pickup up at the pharmacy with my own prescription.
What in the fuck could be wrong with me? I mean?could it be some other system in the body aside from dopamine/seretonin/etc. that?s responsible?
The mushrooms are the only one?s that I can find a plausible reason for because I take an SSRI (Lexapro 20mg). I also take Wellbutrin 150mg. I was taking Addreall 60mg/day but switched to Ritalin 40mg/day when trying to troubleshoot what the fuck could be going on. I kinda suspect the cause lie in one of two medications I was taking but stopped (or both). Seroquil (150mg @ night) & Subutex (16-32mg/day). I now know both of these dosages were too high.
I noticed this effectiveness of my Adderall decreasing over time for about 6 months. In particular, I noticed that it took longer and longer for it to work, i.e. I took my dose @ 7AM every morning but gradually I wouldn?t have any motivation/focus benefits until 10:30AM, then noon, then 1:30PM, etc. (I was taking more doses throughout the day, i.e. it wasn?t the 7AM dose that was responsible for it eventually working at 1:30PM. This was about the same time that my Serequil dose was being increased gradually over time.
I?m trying to keep this as short as possible but I can provide more detail/explanation. The truth is that I worked incredibly hard to get off of heroin, was sober off everything except bupe and adderall, but once my adderall stopped working I started looking for other things to help replace it in a way - or atleast make it so I had some motivation. That?s the other thing?I?ve been so fucking apathetic the past several months. Point being, my sobriety is now a joke and my life is - quite frankly - at risk. I?m not too far removed to jump back into recovery, i.e. I still go to meetings almost daily, but the fact I picked up a bag of H is a major slide in the wrong direction. My biggest fears - that there?s something seriously wrong with me/my brain - have been confirmed over the last few days when Xanax and heroin amazingly fell into the same bucket as everything else.
Has anyone ever heard of anything like this? Is it a known condition? I would be incredibly grateful for any ideas/suggestions. Please let me know what you think.

 

[PharmSauce]

Are you saying that the blunting of the high occurred after stopping all those drugs, or while currently taking them? What about in relation to taking escitalopram and bupropion? Is this situation happening with or without those medications on board? Also, if you stopped taking Seroquel and Subutex, where are you at in that process - how long has it been since you stopped that, and how fast did you taper? It will be hard to try and answer your question without that information!

 

[sekio]

the novelty is gone

sounds like you have been using amphetamines/stimulants for a long time, and opioids too. both of those drugs are generally most euphoric while the use is still a "new experience", by the time you have been using either of those types of drugs for 6 months+, you're just not ever going to recapture the magic of the first times you took them. as you can tell you still are physically effected by the drugs, the part of your brain that recognizes fun and rewarding experiences doesn't see this as anything new or exciting though.

taking seroquel (dopamine antagonist), buprenorphine (opioid receptor partial agonist, will decrease the effects of fulll agonists like heroin), SSRI antidepressants (will reduce/block the effects of psychedelics in general), will also not help things.

find a new hobby that isn't drugs, is the simple answer here. or go do something with a new mechanism of action like nitrous oxide or salvia divinorum or something.

 

[Seppi]

I'm not sure why I'm the first to state this given how obvious it seems, but hedonic/motivational anhedonia, apathy/loss of interest, and a persistent negative affect are all hallmarks of clinical depression. It might be a good idea to see a psychiatrist.

Also, the lack of response to amphetamine doesn't sound like drug tolerance. Drug tolerance to amphetamine-induced euphoria can obviously occur, but that's not the issue (that said, I've been using amphetamine almost every day for the past two decades and I still experience euphoria every so often). The effect of amphetamine on motivation/incentive salience can only undergo sensitization (reverse tolerance) with repeated exposure (albeit only at high doses), so that lack of drug response is unrelated to past amphetamine use.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

Did you take the antidepressants and then euphoria stopped ? Or did you still get good effects while u were already on antidepressants

 

[Gaffy]

A s LucidSDreamr is propoising it's probably your Lexapro that's blocking any sert activity, hence the lack of euphoria from your meds or stims.