hello, again

[stepfather]

Greetings bluelighters,
I've been around for a long time, though mainly a lurker. I used to have an account (forgot the login info/username) where I would share some of my music/poetry which detailed my 7 years of struggling with heroin addiction and poly-substance use.
I've used bluelight for everything from harm reduction, education, educating others, writing papers, you name it. This website truly has been a massive support for me for the past 6-7 years, whether or not I was posting.

My journey into substances began when I was very young, about 13. By 16 I was addicted to heroin and used basically anything and everything I could. Numerous relationships, jobs, schools, OD's, rehabs, death of friends, and stints in jail later I was able to kick my addiction to heroin by age 23. I attribute this success heavily to psychedelics. They are truly misunderstood in our world, and are honestly a miracle in my opinion. I've become such an advocate of the healing powers of psychedelics that I've written a 22-page research/philosophy dissertation during my time at university about the potential of psychedelics to cure depression/anxiety/ptsd. I hope to some day become part of the psychedelic renaissance of modern times and spread the word of the healing powers of psychedelics.

I've been a rapper/poet for 13-14 years. I have numerous albums available around the internet, spotify, itunes, etc.
Most recently I have begun producing/singing in a dreamwave group called 88MPH (we'll have some music coming out this Christmas!).
I'm an English major and my life revolves around writing. It is the one thing (if not music) that I wish to do in this world more than anything.

I'm a gnarly audiophile. I listen to everything from hiphop, electronic, jazz, reggae, metal, you name it.
I'm an avid gamer (most PC, except for RDR2 I had to make an exception and purchase a console, lol).
I like to watch twitch and shit like that.
I'm a self-proclaimed psychonaut. I love to take psychedelics and play video games, write, listen to music, or, one of my all time favorite things, trip and go to Disneyland.

During 2008-2010 I had brief success in the OC/LA music scene and was well on my way to fulfilling my dreams until my heroin habit robbed me of it. I've since had to watch my former groupmates achieve actual success, they just toured with G-Eazy and it makes me hate myself every time I inadvertently come across their names online. I STILL hope one day to finally achieve these dreams.

Most recently, and due to my detest for college mixed with social-anxiety and depression, I had a brief relapse into heroin for 5 months and am now 2 weeks clean and back on Suboxone maintenance.
Unfortunately, this time around, alpraz powder has played a significant role, which has led to some other concerns that are mainly the reason I am coming back here as an active user, as I am worried I may have dug myself into a deeper and shittier hole. (but thats for another thread.)

I, (unfortunately?), enjoy all drugs. But since I've gained things to lose in life, I've tried to strictly stay to marijuana/psychedelics. I hope this time around I can keep true to this philosophy of living.

I love anything to do with space, metaphysics, the human soul, and all types of ill shit.
I enjoy exercising (weightlifting/cycling), reading/writing, rapping/singing, production, tripping in nature, deep conversations, and helping others.

It feels bad to be back where I am, but it feels good to be back at bluelight. The community here has always been such a godsend for me even just from a lurker perspective that I truly am excited to become an active member again.

I had another post written on my phone with way more shit then got an error trying to post it and lost it. So, fuck.
Anyway.
Sup y'all.
Hope you're all well, I look forward to making some good friends, getting help, and hopefully helping someone.

 

[mtu mwendawazimu]

Hello stepfather, thank you for your intro.

As you know, there is tons of support here for you if you need it. And your want to help others is admirable, but first and foremost i'm glad you're seeking help for yourself. You're right though, it can kind of dig ones self a hole if surrounded by drug talk 24/7 on the forum, but if you stick to the right sub-forums i'm sure you'll receive the support you need.

Do you play Hearthstone? If so add me, my username is the same one as here Other than that, i don't play other PC games.

I wish you the best in your career as well, and hopefully using Bluelight as a medium to express yourself will only reinforce your already creative personality.

Weed and psychedelics - pretty much all one needs. The most potentially life changing (for the better) drugs out there, IMO. If nothing else, being able to introspect on such a deep level is both cathartic and beneficial to one's well-being. Everything in moderation, though, as they say.

Well stepfather, Welcome back to Bluelight!

Hope to see you around the Words sub-forum. There was recently a thread created for free-style writing. I wrote a story called Johnny and the Cupcake Girl, lol - I'm sure yours are much more well written, but if you want to check it out i'd love to hear your feedback.

Anyway, welcome again to BL