Pornfreesmee
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 7, 2018
- Messages
- 10
Hi all
To cut a long story short, 8 years ago I was having occasional ED issues and stumbled across the website Your Brain On Porn. For anyone unfamiliar with the harmful effects of watching high speed internet pornography check out this site https://www.yourbrainonporn.com. I decided to quit watching porn and upon quitting I entered a phase called the flatline where I no longer have a libido and difficulty achieving an erection which is supposed to be a temporary withdrawal but yet i still remain in this state 8 years on. Ive tried countless things such as supplements, drugs, rewiring with a long term girlfriend and recently a long stretch of sexual abstinence (15 months) but none of these methods have worked. Also just to confirm I have been checked out on more than one occasion by doctors for physical causes of ED and I've checked out fine every time. The reason I am posting on this forum is because I stumbled upon a case of ED simile to mine on reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comm...ser&utm_source=reddit&utm_name=u_pornfreesmee
This guy smoked methamphetamine and accidentally cured his ED! The theory behind it is following the addiction to internet porn his dopamine receptors hadn't returned to their normal state but by smoking meth on a single occasion he managed to hit some kind of reset switch in his brain. So this is something I would like to try for myself, even if some may think its a long shot. I tried some recreational drugs when I was younger like MDMA, Weed and Cocaine (on multiple occasions) but haven't taken any recreational drugs in years. I drink alcohol at the weekends when I go to bars, but Im not a heavy drinker. I just stay in the tipsy zone really.
As far as taking meth is concerned I want to achieve a simmilar level of high to the guy in the post so do you guys think I will have to smoke the drug or would an high oral dose of desoxyn be able to produce a good effect? Any advice/dosage recommendation based on my past drug use would be appreciated.
FIRST TIME SMOKING METH
Ok so I want to document my experience on here of my first time using meth. I've took two days off work (today and tomorrow). I want a day to get high and also a day to ride out the comedown.
10:00AM I decided to smoke early to avoid messing up my sleep pattern. Since I wanted to experience euphoria and a long last high I decided to smoke 50mg as recommended on forums as heavy dose. So I smoked approximately 50mg in 10 minutes using a glass bubble meth pipe. After everything I read I was expecting an onset within less than two minutes, but ten minutes rolled around and I felt no high. I was actually starting to feel very disappointed that I'd scored some fake meth, so I decided to smoke another 50mg just to be sure (100mg/0.1g total) Let me tell you this stuff isn't fake!(time to release escrow
) After a further ten minutes I felt euphoric pleasure like I've never felt before! All I could think was how amazing this was and I never want this to end hahaha. I feel intense pleasure all throughout my body. Its kind of like the rush I used to get when watching porn(x10) before I quit and entered this flatline/pied state. I don't feel any libido though or erections, but just a nice feeling because my dopamine levels are so jacked up! My heart rate was very fast during this euphoria I could feel it beating through my chest.
10:30AM After around half an hour the euphoric rush started to become less intense. I still felt absolutely amazing but not like I did during the first half an hour. My heart also calmed down. I was actually tempted to smoke more to recreate that inital feeling but I resisted the urge because I fear overdose and becoming addicted (I actually loaded another 0.1G into the pipe before changing my mind). Interestingly I was actually expecting to have massive pupils but they don't look any bigger than normal! My jaw has now started to repeatedly clench up (gurning) but only now the euphoria has worn off. I could barely move it was so intense during the first half an hour! I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the ride haha.
12:00 PM - I still feel the same level of high I felt after the initial euphoria wore off at this point. For a brief period it actually felt like the effects were increasing again, but It levelled out and has just stayed constant. I actually intended to brush my teeth right after smoking to avoid any damage to my teeth, but its took me until this point to actually motivate myself to get up and brush my teeth. I was expecting to be super energetic but all I want to do is sit still in one spot close my eyes and bask In the amazing pleasure that I'm still feeling!
14:00 PM - I still feel high and my jaw is still constantly clenching. (Its gonna be sore tomorrow haha) The effects seemed to have decreased in the last hour but I have been using the internet, so my focus has shifted from my feelings to the the task at hand. I feel super focused when using the internet. Usually when I use the internet I feel overstimulated after around half an hour, but I don't feel this effect today. I have also noticed a slow increase in my body temperature since the initial euphoria. I just had a drink of water and when I looked at my hand it was shaking slightly and I feel a bit jittery, which is unusual. But overall I still feel good! I just hope that I have smoked enough because I wanted to be high all day, but as I said before I was worried about overdose/addiction. As amazing as the initial high felt, at this point I feel I will have the will power to stay away from using again, but lets see how I feel during the comedown! Just to note I'm 27 and this is my first time taking drugs since i was 20 years old! I ate some breakfast around 09:30 and would usually be hungry by this point in the day, so I'm definitely noticing some appetite suppression.Another strange thing I noticed earlier during the first two hours of being high and still noticing now is that lines/wrinkles on my face seemed more pronounced than normal, but maybe I just imagined it and my skin is a little dehydrated. I'm trying to keep my hydration levels up.
16:00 PM - The effects are very much still present. My pupils have actually grown in size now, which is unusual because earlier on they were normal. I have been a little concerned the last two hours because my resting heart rate has increased again like during the initial euphoria! Its been at roughly 120BPM for the last two hours. Is this normal? Should I be worried? I'm still enjoying this overall, but a part of me isn't now due to the fast heart rate! I'm still quite hot, so I'm going to attempt to cool down a little hopefully this will help lower my heart rate as well. My jaw is still repeatedly clenching! I feel like after the workout my jaw has received today Im going to wake up looking like quagmire from family guy haha. Again the thing thats really surprised me about being high is how lazy I am! I was expecting to be cleaning the house like a man possessed, but instead I've been sat in my room all day basking in the good feelings not wanting to move (I'm also conscious of my high heart rate, so I'm trying to be sedentary). My meth pipe was on my bedside table with the lighter and my bedroom door was open, so someone could've walked in and caught me using. And yet It took me 1 hour to get up and hide it because I didn't want to interrupt focusing on the good feelings haha. When I start a task like posting in this forum I feel like its worn off slightly because I'm so focused on the task at hand! But when I go back to just sitting here and focusing on my feelings/thinking I feel like it hasn't worn off at all! Despite keeping my hydration levels up my mouth feels horribly dry! I've actually just had a phone conversion with my mechanic because I have a problem with my car, and I could hear my voice echoing in the phone and I definitely sound different! Like I'm high on drugs or something I also feel like I could keep on talking forever on here and I rarely post on forums/social media usually. I'm more of an introvert than an extrovert typically, but I do like to be social in real life as well.
18:00 PM - So this is now 8 hours after my initial dose and the effects are still very much present, but slightly less so.In hindsight maybe I should have been more prepared and bought something like Xanax (I've never tied before) just incase this doesn't wear of by my usual bed time. But I figured with smoking in the morning it would wear off for a reasonable time. Also maybe I should have waited more than 10 minutes for it to take effect before smoking more because smoking 100mg is a high dose for a first time user. Having said that because I only intend to do this once and never again, I wanted to make sure that I achieved a similar high as the guy from reddit, so I don't have any doubts afterwards as to wether I've done this properly. The high has been amazing, and Ive not felt out of control at any point during the 8 hours, but its just the high resting heart rate that concerns me and makes me think the dose might be too high.My jaw is still constantly clenching and starting to feel a little sore! My mouth is unbelievably dry also! Also my resting heart rate is still high, I just checked and its now at 112 bpm, so slightly lower than before. Hopefully everything is ok and it will come back down to normal soon! My pupils are still larger than normal but less so than my last post. I think i could maybe face people without them being aware I'm high soon. During the past two hours I have been talking to friends over whatsapp and I found myself much more efficient at conversations, and not caring about what I say as much! Hopefully when this wears off I won't look back and feel embarrassed haha. My appetite is still very much suppressed and I have no interest in food! Also the last thing I want to do now is put more stress on my body by making it digest a meal. Ideally I'll eat later this evening if the effects wear off by then to help with comedown and getting to sleep. One of my main hobbies is natural bodybuilding (I've never taken steroids/pro hormones or any other performance enhancing drugs) and have been training for many years now. I'm currently maintaining 10 percent bodyfat with a calorie intake of 3400 calories per day (fast metabolism/hard gainer type) after a successful cut. I typically eat 1800 plus calories in my evening meal, but theres no way I could get through that right now haha. Even if I was to ignore my worry of adding stress to my body whilst intoxicated with meth! Another thing I've noticed is that I seem to be urinating more frequently than normal, but it might just be that I am noticing it more because I find going to the bathroom a chore right now.
20:00 PM - I'm still feeling the effects pretty much the same as before, but maybe fractionally less. When doing my research on meth before deciding that I would do this, some forums/websites suggested that the effects of smoking last up to four hours only. I can definitely confirm the effects last much longer than this despite a gradual ramp down of intensity from onset. According to wikipedia the half life is anywhere from 5-30 hours. I'm ready for this high to end now because I have things to do tomorrow and I'm back in work on Wednesday, so I want to have my head straight by then. My pupils seem large again and my jaw still constantly clenching. I definitely can't face people at the minute because I think its quite obvious I'm intoxicated on some kind of drug! My resting heart rate has now come down a little more and is at 100bpm. Opening my window and letting some cold winter air in may have helped because my body temperature felt high earlier. I don't know what my heart rate is usually because I never check, but I'm pretty sure this is still higher than it is normally! Despite living a very healthy lifestyle, during the last couple of months I have noticed a higher heart rate than usual when training in the gym and Ive also been waking up in the night with some mild chest pains some nights lately. I have been meaning to go to the doctor and get this checked out! So my timing for trying meth might not have been the best! I don't now wether the high resting heart rate Ive experienced recently is the reason Ive experienced this whilst high or wether this or a normal side effect of meth use, but it has definitely caused me some worry during the past few hours. I'm starting to have some slight fear of the comedown as well now! Hopefully I can ride it out without any major discomfort! Im hoping this shuts off soon now, so I can eat some food and get to sleep for a reasonable time!
10:00 PM - I'm starting to feel like the effects are calming down now and the Tachycardia seems to have eased up a little. Although I'm not hungry I feel like I'm ready to attempt some food now. Thats twelve whole hours after smoking! And its rare that something effects my appetite/interest in food like this, unless I'm really sick! Even cocaine and MDMA use when I was younger didn't seem to affect my ability to eat all that much. The jaw clenching has eased up enough where I am ready to face my family now.
11:00 PM - So I went to my kitchen and faced my family finally. My pupils were still a little big, so tried to look directly into the kitchen light every now and then to keep them in check haha. I don't think anyone noticed, so thats a relief. When I finished cooking my food I was just stiring the food over and over! Putting off taking the first bite, but eventually I forced myself to eat a mouthful. The first mouthful was the hardest due to repugnance to food and the crazy dry mouth I was experiencing, but after that It was surprisingly easy, and I managed to eat my usually 1800+ calorie dinner with ease! I feel on the road to feeling normal again now after eating that meal, and as an added bonus it has helped tremendously with my dry mouth! Thanks to CFC for the tip :D
12:00 AM - So this will be my last post for today. I have to be awake fairly early to take my car to the mechanic tomorrow, so I should probably get off here now if theres any chance I can get some sleep tonight. Hopefully i can! Would be great if I managed to sleep through a big chunk of the comedown! I feel like I've managed to wind down a little more during the last hour, but the meth is still in my system for sure. I'm still experiencing the odd jaw spasm here and there, but not repeatedly like before. I'm still experiencing a little Tachycardia as well, but not as much as earlier. I usually take a 5 minute freezing cold shower (absolute hell, but makes me feel great afterwards!), followed by a 5 minute hot shower before bed because it really helps me to relax/unwind and fall asleep easier. Tonight I will skip this! Since the cold shower increases my heart rate due to the cold shock and the hot shower increases my body temperature, I don't think it would be wise tonight! I will check in again tomorrow and update.
08:00 AM - So I didn't sleep a wink last night! A part of me felt tired, but the constant loop of thoughts going on in my head prevented any chance of falling asleep. I don't feel high anymore, but I still don't think all the meth has been eliminated from my body because I'm still wide awake. A quick google search leads to quite vague answers on how long it will takes for my body to eliminate meth when smoked, but I suppose there's no way of knowing for sure. Another thing that I'm noticing is that my head feels a bit fussy and I have a mild headache. I experienced some more Tachycardia thought the night, but it seems to have calmed down over the past few hours. Also my mouth was very dry throughout the night, and I felt like my mouth was full of small flakes, which I believe to be shavings from my teeth after all the jaw clenching/teeth grinding! I feel like a have a little appetite back this morning, which is good! I'm hoping a day of regular meals, hydration and a gym session later on (if I feel the Tachycardia is over and done with) will get me on the right track to feeling human again. I'm not sure wether there is an overlap between being high and coming down or wether you don't truly comedown until the meth is eliminated completley from your body. But I can say for sure that I've not been enjoying this since yesterday evening, so not sure if that means I've been coming down or the worst part is still to come. Only time will tell I suppose.
12:00 PM - I managed to eat some breakfast earlier without any difficulty, but in the last few hours since I haven't felt good at all! I have a bad headache! I feel spacey! My mood isn't great! I have no energy! I feel like I can't feel pleasure! I think the comedown has certainly hit! Purely from an experience point of view, even though this wasn't my reason for using, I must say that the high from meth (as amazing it was) is so not worth the low! I feel dreadful! The feeling is kind of like being really hungover from alcohol, but much worse! The type of hangover where you think to yourself I'm never drinking again! The thought of meth makes feel a bit sick! Just like a thought about an alcoholic drink would when hungover! Of course I don't want to speak too soon because I'm not out of the woods yet, but I could not think of anything worse than redosing right now! I was expecting the comedown to be the point of being most vulnerable to the temptation, so I've had my guard ready, but actually the time where I needed to be on guard the most so far was after the initial euphoria wore off. I wanted to experience that again! I keep thinking to myself how glad I am that I resisted the urge to smoke that extra 0.1g that I loaded into the pipe because that would surely have put me into A&E or worse! I feel like the dose I had was the absolute limit of what my body could handle and anymore might've pushed me over the edge! Even though I feel like I'm coming down I still notice the odd random jaw spasm, which is weird! Who knows how long this will stay in my system for! I'm trying to limit dopamine releasing activities today like TV/XBOX/Internet in order to give my brain a break from stimulation and hopefully help speed up my recovery. At the moment I don't know how I'm gonna deal with work tomorrow, but I've had no sleep at all, so lf I can catch up tonight maybe I'll feel functional by tomorrow.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_methamphetamine
substancecode_meth
substancecode_amphetamines
explevel_firsttime
exptype_negative
exptype_bodyload
exptype_difficult
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
To cut a long story short, 8 years ago I was having occasional ED issues and stumbled across the website Your Brain On Porn. For anyone unfamiliar with the harmful effects of watching high speed internet pornography check out this site https://www.yourbrainonporn.com. I decided to quit watching porn and upon quitting I entered a phase called the flatline where I no longer have a libido and difficulty achieving an erection which is supposed to be a temporary withdrawal but yet i still remain in this state 8 years on. Ive tried countless things such as supplements, drugs, rewiring with a long term girlfriend and recently a long stretch of sexual abstinence (15 months) but none of these methods have worked. Also just to confirm I have been checked out on more than one occasion by doctors for physical causes of ED and I've checked out fine every time. The reason I am posting on this forum is because I stumbled upon a case of ED simile to mine on reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comm...ser&utm_source=reddit&utm_name=u_pornfreesmee
This guy smoked methamphetamine and accidentally cured his ED! The theory behind it is following the addiction to internet porn his dopamine receptors hadn't returned to their normal state but by smoking meth on a single occasion he managed to hit some kind of reset switch in his brain. So this is something I would like to try for myself, even if some may think its a long shot. I tried some recreational drugs when I was younger like MDMA, Weed and Cocaine (on multiple occasions) but haven't taken any recreational drugs in years. I drink alcohol at the weekends when I go to bars, but Im not a heavy drinker. I just stay in the tipsy zone really.
As far as taking meth is concerned I want to achieve a simmilar level of high to the guy in the post so do you guys think I will have to smoke the drug or would an high oral dose of desoxyn be able to produce a good effect? Any advice/dosage recommendation based on my past drug use would be appreciated.
FIRST TIME SMOKING METH
Ok so I want to document my experience on here of my first time using meth. I've took two days off work (today and tomorrow). I want a day to get high and also a day to ride out the comedown.
10:00AM I decided to smoke early to avoid messing up my sleep pattern. Since I wanted to experience euphoria and a long last high I decided to smoke 50mg as recommended on forums as heavy dose. So I smoked approximately 50mg in 10 minutes using a glass bubble meth pipe. After everything I read I was expecting an onset within less than two minutes, but ten minutes rolled around and I felt no high. I was actually starting to feel very disappointed that I'd scored some fake meth, so I decided to smoke another 50mg just to be sure (100mg/0.1g total) Let me tell you this stuff isn't fake!(time to release escrow
) After a further ten minutes I felt euphoric pleasure like I've never felt before! All I could think was how amazing this was and I never want this to end hahaha. I feel intense pleasure all throughout my body. Its kind of like the rush I used to get when watching porn(x10) before I quit and entered this flatline/pied state. I don't feel any libido though or erections, but just a nice feeling because my dopamine levels are so jacked up! My heart rate was very fast during this euphoria I could feel it beating through my chest.10:30AM After around half an hour the euphoric rush started to become less intense. I still felt absolutely amazing but not like I did during the first half an hour. My heart also calmed down. I was actually tempted to smoke more to recreate that inital feeling but I resisted the urge because I fear overdose and becoming addicted (I actually loaded another 0.1G into the pipe before changing my mind). Interestingly I was actually expecting to have massive pupils but they don't look any bigger than normal! My jaw has now started to repeatedly clench up (gurning) but only now the euphoria has worn off. I could barely move it was so intense during the first half an hour! I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the ride haha.
12:00 PM - I still feel the same level of high I felt after the initial euphoria wore off at this point. For a brief period it actually felt like the effects were increasing again, but It levelled out and has just stayed constant. I actually intended to brush my teeth right after smoking to avoid any damage to my teeth, but its took me until this point to actually motivate myself to get up and brush my teeth. I was expecting to be super energetic but all I want to do is sit still in one spot close my eyes and bask In the amazing pleasure that I'm still feeling!
14:00 PM - I still feel high and my jaw is still constantly clenching. (Its gonna be sore tomorrow haha) The effects seemed to have decreased in the last hour but I have been using the internet, so my focus has shifted from my feelings to the the task at hand. I feel super focused when using the internet. Usually when I use the internet I feel overstimulated after around half an hour, but I don't feel this effect today. I have also noticed a slow increase in my body temperature since the initial euphoria. I just had a drink of water and when I looked at my hand it was shaking slightly and I feel a bit jittery, which is unusual. But overall I still feel good! I just hope that I have smoked enough because I wanted to be high all day, but as I said before I was worried about overdose/addiction. As amazing as the initial high felt, at this point I feel I will have the will power to stay away from using again, but lets see how I feel during the comedown! Just to note I'm 27 and this is my first time taking drugs since i was 20 years old! I ate some breakfast around 09:30 and would usually be hungry by this point in the day, so I'm definitely noticing some appetite suppression.Another strange thing I noticed earlier during the first two hours of being high and still noticing now is that lines/wrinkles on my face seemed more pronounced than normal, but maybe I just imagined it and my skin is a little dehydrated. I'm trying to keep my hydration levels up.
16:00 PM - The effects are very much still present. My pupils have actually grown in size now, which is unusual because earlier on they were normal. I have been a little concerned the last two hours because my resting heart rate has increased again like during the initial euphoria! Its been at roughly 120BPM for the last two hours. Is this normal? Should I be worried? I'm still enjoying this overall, but a part of me isn't now due to the fast heart rate! I'm still quite hot, so I'm going to attempt to cool down a little hopefully this will help lower my heart rate as well. My jaw is still repeatedly clenching! I feel like after the workout my jaw has received today Im going to wake up looking like quagmire from family guy haha. Again the thing thats really surprised me about being high is how lazy I am! I was expecting to be cleaning the house like a man possessed, but instead I've been sat in my room all day basking in the good feelings not wanting to move (I'm also conscious of my high heart rate, so I'm trying to be sedentary). My meth pipe was on my bedside table with the lighter and my bedroom door was open, so someone could've walked in and caught me using. And yet It took me 1 hour to get up and hide it because I didn't want to interrupt focusing on the good feelings haha. When I start a task like posting in this forum I feel like its worn off slightly because I'm so focused on the task at hand! But when I go back to just sitting here and focusing on my feelings/thinking I feel like it hasn't worn off at all! Despite keeping my hydration levels up my mouth feels horribly dry! I've actually just had a phone conversion with my mechanic because I have a problem with my car, and I could hear my voice echoing in the phone and I definitely sound different! Like I'm high on drugs or something
I also feel like I could keep on talking forever on here and I rarely post on forums/social media usually. I'm more of an introvert than an extrovert typically, but I do like to be social in real life as well.18:00 PM - So this is now 8 hours after my initial dose and the effects are still very much present, but slightly less so.In hindsight maybe I should have been more prepared and bought something like Xanax (I've never tied before) just incase this doesn't wear of by my usual bed time. But I figured with smoking in the morning it would wear off for a reasonable time. Also maybe I should have waited more than 10 minutes for it to take effect before smoking more because smoking 100mg is a high dose for a first time user. Having said that because I only intend to do this once and never again, I wanted to make sure that I achieved a similar high as the guy from reddit, so I don't have any doubts afterwards as to wether I've done this properly. The high has been amazing, and Ive not felt out of control at any point during the 8 hours, but its just the high resting heart rate that concerns me and makes me think the dose might be too high.My jaw is still constantly clenching and starting to feel a little sore! My mouth is unbelievably dry also! Also my resting heart rate is still high, I just checked and its now at 112 bpm, so slightly lower than before. Hopefully everything is ok and it will come back down to normal soon! My pupils are still larger than normal but less so than my last post. I think i could maybe face people without them being aware I'm high soon. During the past two hours I have been talking to friends over whatsapp and I found myself much more efficient at conversations, and not caring about what I say as much! Hopefully when this wears off I won't look back and feel embarrassed haha. My appetite is still very much suppressed and I have no interest in food! Also the last thing I want to do now is put more stress on my body by making it digest a meal. Ideally I'll eat later this evening if the effects wear off by then to help with comedown and getting to sleep. One of my main hobbies is natural bodybuilding (I've never taken steroids/pro hormones or any other performance enhancing drugs) and have been training for many years now. I'm currently maintaining 10 percent bodyfat with a calorie intake of 3400 calories per day (fast metabolism/hard gainer type) after a successful cut. I typically eat 1800 plus calories in my evening meal, but theres no way I could get through that right now haha. Even if I was to ignore my worry of adding stress to my body whilst intoxicated with meth! Another thing I've noticed is that I seem to be urinating more frequently than normal, but it might just be that I am noticing it more because I find going to the bathroom a chore right now.
20:00 PM - I'm still feeling the effects pretty much the same as before, but maybe fractionally less. When doing my research on meth before deciding that I would do this, some forums/websites suggested that the effects of smoking last up to four hours only. I can definitely confirm the effects last much longer than this despite a gradual ramp down of intensity from onset. According to wikipedia the half life is anywhere from 5-30 hours. I'm ready for this high to end now because I have things to do tomorrow and I'm back in work on Wednesday, so I want to have my head straight by then. My pupils seem large again and my jaw still constantly clenching. I definitely can't face people at the minute because I think its quite obvious I'm intoxicated on some kind of drug! My resting heart rate has now come down a little more and is at 100bpm. Opening my window and letting some cold winter air in may have helped because my body temperature felt high earlier. I don't know what my heart rate is usually because I never check, but I'm pretty sure this is still higher than it is normally! Despite living a very healthy lifestyle, during the last couple of months I have noticed a higher heart rate than usual when training in the gym and Ive also been waking up in the night with some mild chest pains some nights lately. I have been meaning to go to the doctor and get this checked out! So my timing for trying meth might not have been the best! I don't now wether the high resting heart rate Ive experienced recently is the reason Ive experienced this whilst high or wether this or a normal side effect of meth use, but it has definitely caused me some worry during the past few hours. I'm starting to have some slight fear of the comedown as well now! Hopefully I can ride it out without any major discomfort! Im hoping this shuts off soon now, so I can eat some food and get to sleep for a reasonable time!
10:00 PM - I'm starting to feel like the effects are calming down now and the Tachycardia seems to have eased up a little. Although I'm not hungry I feel like I'm ready to attempt some food now. Thats twelve whole hours after smoking! And its rare that something effects my appetite/interest in food like this, unless I'm really sick! Even cocaine and MDMA use when I was younger didn't seem to affect my ability to eat all that much. The jaw clenching has eased up enough where I am ready to face my family now.
11:00 PM - So I went to my kitchen and faced my family finally. My pupils were still a little big, so tried to look directly into the kitchen light every now and then to keep them in check haha. I don't think anyone noticed, so thats a relief. When I finished cooking my food I was just stiring the food over and over! Putting off taking the first bite, but eventually I forced myself to eat a mouthful. The first mouthful was the hardest due to repugnance to food and the crazy dry mouth I was experiencing, but after that It was surprisingly easy, and I managed to eat my usually 1800+ calorie dinner with ease! I feel on the road to feeling normal again now after eating that meal, and as an added bonus it has helped tremendously with my dry mouth! Thanks to CFC for the tip :D
12:00 AM - So this will be my last post for today. I have to be awake fairly early to take my car to the mechanic tomorrow, so I should probably get off here now if theres any chance I can get some sleep tonight. Hopefully i can! Would be great if I managed to sleep through a big chunk of the comedown! I feel like I've managed to wind down a little more during the last hour, but the meth is still in my system for sure. I'm still experiencing the odd jaw spasm here and there, but not repeatedly like before. I'm still experiencing a little Tachycardia as well, but not as much as earlier. I usually take a 5 minute freezing cold shower (absolute hell, but makes me feel great afterwards!), followed by a 5 minute hot shower before bed because it really helps me to relax/unwind and fall asleep easier. Tonight I will skip this! Since the cold shower increases my heart rate due to the cold shock and the hot shower increases my body temperature, I don't think it would be wise tonight! I will check in again tomorrow and update.
08:00 AM - So I didn't sleep a wink last night! A part of me felt tired, but the constant loop of thoughts going on in my head prevented any chance of falling asleep. I don't feel high anymore, but I still don't think all the meth has been eliminated from my body because I'm still wide awake. A quick google search leads to quite vague answers on how long it will takes for my body to eliminate meth when smoked, but I suppose there's no way of knowing for sure. Another thing that I'm noticing is that my head feels a bit fussy and I have a mild headache. I experienced some more Tachycardia thought the night, but it seems to have calmed down over the past few hours. Also my mouth was very dry throughout the night, and I felt like my mouth was full of small flakes, which I believe to be shavings from my teeth after all the jaw clenching/teeth grinding! I feel like a have a little appetite back this morning, which is good! I'm hoping a day of regular meals, hydration and a gym session later on (if I feel the Tachycardia is over and done with) will get me on the right track to feeling human again. I'm not sure wether there is an overlap between being high and coming down or wether you don't truly comedown until the meth is eliminated completley from your body. But I can say for sure that I've not been enjoying this since yesterday evening, so not sure if that means I've been coming down or the worst part is still to come. Only time will tell I suppose.
12:00 PM - I managed to eat some breakfast earlier without any difficulty, but in the last few hours since I haven't felt good at all! I have a bad headache! I feel spacey! My mood isn't great! I have no energy! I feel like I can't feel pleasure! I think the comedown has certainly hit! Purely from an experience point of view, even though this wasn't my reason for using, I must say that the high from meth (as amazing it was) is so not worth the low! I feel dreadful! The feeling is kind of like being really hungover from alcohol, but much worse! The type of hangover where you think to yourself I'm never drinking again! The thought of meth makes feel a bit sick! Just like a thought about an alcoholic drink would when hungover! Of course I don't want to speak too soon because I'm not out of the woods yet, but I could not think of anything worse than redosing right now! I was expecting the comedown to be the point of being most vulnerable to the temptation, so I've had my guard ready, but actually the time where I needed to be on guard the most so far was after the initial euphoria wore off. I wanted to experience that again! I keep thinking to myself how glad I am that I resisted the urge to smoke that extra 0.1g that I loaded into the pipe because that would surely have put me into A&E or worse! I feel like the dose I had was the absolute limit of what my body could handle and anymore might've pushed me over the edge! Even though I feel like I'm coming down I still notice the odd random jaw spasm, which is weird! Who knows how long this will stay in my system for! I'm trying to limit dopamine releasing activities today like TV/XBOX/Internet in order to give my brain a break from stimulation and hopefully help speed up my recovery. At the moment I don't know how I'm gonna deal with work tomorrow, but I've had no sleep at all, so lf I can catch up tonight maybe I'll feel functional by tomorrow.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_methamphetamine
substancecode_meth
substancecode_amphetamines
explevel_firsttime
exptype_negative
exptype_bodyload
exptype_difficult
roacode_smoked
roacode_inhaled
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