Jabberwocky
Frumious Bandersnatch
- Joined
- Nov 3, 1999
- Messages
- 84,998
i?ve just moved into secondary care after just over 4 weeks in primary care, am 34 days clean and on my first night at my parents, back to safety tomorrow. i kinda want somewhere to list my progress and figured here is as good a place as any. i?d be really interested to hear any revelations anyone else has had in recovery, either good or bad? what were the most helpful things you learner?
- i?m a textbook drug addict, i thought i was coming into rehab for crack and heroin and realised i?d abused the shit out of every drug i?d ever been near
- injecting cocaine causes tinnitus
- i?m still resistant to recovery, possibly because i don?t know who i am without drugs
- emotional development stops when you start using drugs frequently, so emotionally i?m 16, but will catch 5 years up every for every year of recovery
-i am petrified of throwing away my benzo stash, i?ve had one as a security blanket for 13 years.
- grandiose notions of happiness are addictions way of stopping you entering recovery
- even though my life is objectively just as shit as before i stopped using, my dopamine receptors are getting repaired and joy and laughter about trivial things is now possible
- nothing is as bad or as hard as i thought.
- i have massive issues with my mum
- i?m somehwat autistic
- i have C-PTSD but was fucked up way before the trauma
- EMDR and ART are unbelievably amazing, but its annoying that i can?t use on the stuff i worked through anymore
- once you?re clean you have a choice, i can?t use being an addict as an excuse to use anymore, also annoying
- my life has been hard and i should forgive myself for running into difficulties
- i?ve been in massive denial about my drug problem. i?ve been a drug addict for half my life, not 5 years, i?ve been addicted to heroin for 6 years, not 5, and am still psychologically addicted to benzos despite kicking the physical addiction 5 years ago
- caffeine and sugar are more addictive than heroin and crack (all these substances are banned in rehab)
- my vision is blurry cos i need glasses, not cos my pupils have been continuously dilated for years
- people don?t hate me when i?m honest about what i am
- i don?t use on the first opportunity despite the complete alienness of this length of time not using, what a relief!!!
i really didn?t know how i?d do today but i went to NA, went on a run, did some paid work, and am now going to bed. almost like a normal person.
- i?m a textbook drug addict, i thought i was coming into rehab for crack and heroin and realised i?d abused the shit out of every drug i?d ever been near
- injecting cocaine causes tinnitus
- i?m still resistant to recovery, possibly because i don?t know who i am without drugs
- emotional development stops when you start using drugs frequently, so emotionally i?m 16, but will catch 5 years up every for every year of recovery
-i am petrified of throwing away my benzo stash, i?ve had one as a security blanket for 13 years.
- grandiose notions of happiness are addictions way of stopping you entering recovery
- even though my life is objectively just as shit as before i stopped using, my dopamine receptors are getting repaired and joy and laughter about trivial things is now possible
- nothing is as bad or as hard as i thought.
- i have massive issues with my mum
- i?m somehwat autistic
- i have C-PTSD but was fucked up way before the trauma
- EMDR and ART are unbelievably amazing, but its annoying that i can?t use on the stuff i worked through anymore
- once you?re clean you have a choice, i can?t use being an addict as an excuse to use anymore, also annoying
- my life has been hard and i should forgive myself for running into difficulties
- i?ve been in massive denial about my drug problem. i?ve been a drug addict for half my life, not 5 years, i?ve been addicted to heroin for 6 years, not 5, and am still psychologically addicted to benzos despite kicking the physical addiction 5 years ago
- caffeine and sugar are more addictive than heroin and crack (all these substances are banned in rehab)
- my vision is blurry cos i need glasses, not cos my pupils have been continuously dilated for years
- people don?t hate me when i?m honest about what i am
- i don?t use on the first opportunity despite the complete alienness of this length of time not using, what a relief!!!
i really didn?t know how i?d do today but i went to NA, went on a run, did some paid work, and am now going to bed. almost like a normal person.