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Thread: Talking to strangers in person: yay or nay?

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    Talking to strangers in person: yay or nay? 
    #1
    Bluelighter zephyr's Avatar
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    I read an article that popped up on my feed that says NAY to randomly striking up a conversation with another person, particularly on commutes or other by chance times passing on the street.


    https://www.theonion.com/report-its-...m_campaign=top




    However, there are other articles and websites that advise that it is very healthy to strike up chit chat to people you don't know, totally normal and I recall when I was younger people tended to do that a lot more than now.

    https://upliftconnect.com/hidden-ben...-to-strangers/



    These days, maybe because I am an introvert by nature and don't feel the need for company all the time, I don't see the amount of general communal banter around where I live.


    Everyone used to know their neighbors, used to know people through church or work or the PC committees at schools.

    I dont know my neighbors apart from their names and shared protests at a highway built behind our street.



    Has it become normal now to not even make eye contact or have anything at all to do with other people to the point of avoiding even acknowledging each others presence by concentrating on our phones?

    Out and about, at clubs or bars, there are still some types of interaction between groups that don't know each other around pool tables or what not .


    Is getting to know people through the internet by joining groups that gave meet ups the new normal?
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    #2
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    Yesterday on the train, i was the only one not on my phone. It was incredible. And after reading the OP, i wonder how they'd interact without the devices. The person sitting across from you: a friendly smile or do you ignore? The big guy next to you: let him take your space or tell him excuse me but you're enormous?

    Do i stop to talk to strangers? No.

    Does my face look inviting? No.

    But i will nod, smile or say what's up to strangers passing by on occasion. But i too am introverted, and maybe that's why i don't chitter chatter.

    On the other hand my obnoxious acquaintance picks up girls at grocery stores by asking if they want to hook up. I'm sure it will eventually work, but the types of people who will respond to you probably have SDTs no?

    Anyway, in regards to this site and sites like it? Yeah i think it is becoming the normal. And as i am how i am, i like it, a lot - Due to my introversion. But i have better friends IRL than online, as in i know them better and such. But i'm still new to Bluelight. Although i already met a handful of cool people though. Had to clear my inbox 3 or 4 times i was not expecting that.

    Peace and love.
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    #3
    Administrator spacejunk's Avatar
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    I read an article that popped up on my feed that says NAY to randomly striking up a conversation with another person, particularly on commutes or other by chance times passing on the street.


    https://www.theonion.com/report-its-...m_campaign=top

    you know the onion is a satirical newspaper, right?

    strangers are just fiends you haven't met yet
    ✺✹✺✹BLUA✺✹✺✹
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    #4
    Bluelight Crew alasdairm's Avatar
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    i live in a relatively small town (pop. ~22,000) and i speak to people out and about all the time: at the store; in the pub; at the oil-change place; in a lift line; etc. it's a pretty friendly, conducive place and i'd say it's (engagement is) the norm rather than the exception.

    when i lived in boston and san francisco, it was pretty similar and conversations with strangers were commonplace.

    i think it's healthy and friendly to make eye contact in public, acknowledge and engage people and be open to the acknowledgement and engagement of others. mileage obviously varies.

    alasdair
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    #5
    Bluelighter atara's Avatar
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    On public transit, most people don't want to talk to you. It's annoying enough being packed like sardines in a tin can that moves slower than all of the rich bastards' private tin cans, so there's no need to compound it by pulling people away from whatever daydream they're enjoying and back into the ugly, smelly train-car where you're probably close-talking them.

    But anywhere else? Have at it!
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    #6
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    madness00's Avatar
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    Well that's been debunked.

    Now the number of times people have almost ran into me while on there phones is ridiculous.
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    #7
    Bluelighter w01fg4ng's Avatar
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    Actual picture of my partner and I on a daily basis.



    The onion is fucking hilarious.
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    #8
    Bluelighter zephyr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spacejunk View Post
    you know the onion is a satirical newspaper, right?

    strangers are just fiends you haven't met yet
    I wasnt aware of that so oops, but that article made sense to me.

    I dont tak to people much unless I'm out relaxing having a drink (once a year).

    I have fallen out of randomly talkin to people.

    When I lived in Cairns in FNQ, the locals were far more open to conversation with randoms.

    I met my flatmate in the laundromat. It was sweltering on there and I brought a 6 pack of stones ginger beer coz Cairns, she was folding her sheets so I helped and gave her a beer. We was mates from then on, she has schizophrenia, so it's a hard friendship but worth it.


    But risks with strangers there are too much, with a neighbouring trying to kill me then killing himself, I dont talk to people much anymore.


    The last time I did randomly connect with someone he eventually fathered my child and now has taken me to court for fraud/paternity denial.



    So talking to someone on the street is great as it is, but too risky for me
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    #9
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    On public transit, most people don't want to talk to you.
    I used to catch the train home from work and I'd buy a slab (24 beers) on the way to the station and then distribute beers to other guys on the station or in the train carriage itself, and start up conversations with them (if they were interested)... Never had anyone refuse a free beer and most people were happy to converse. Although, I guess they might have felt obliged to talk in exchange for the alcohol.

    This was about 15 years ago, though, before everybody disappeared into their phones.
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    #10
    Bluelighter atara's Avatar
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    There is a third option: they were happy to talk because you brought them a beer, not in return. This distinction is important, because it's generally the essence of buying a drink for anyone.
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    #11
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    Fourth option: They were happy to talk to me, regardless of the beer, because of how charming and handsome I am.
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    #12
    Quote Originally Posted by w01fg4ng View Post
    Actual picture of my partner and I on a daily basis.



    The onion is fucking hilarious.
    LOL, good one
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