Hey everyone.
So I?ve been sober now from drugs and alcohol for close to 8.5 months now. I live in a sober house and go to AA/NA meetings.
I started taking bronkaid as part of my ECA stack to help with app suppression and as a general thermogenic.
Over time I started taking more and more of the bronkaid along with C and A as it helped more with app suppression but also because I seemed to start feeling some mild euphoric effect in combination with the anti deppresant I?m on.
So I continued taking it for that mild high it would give me along for the thermogenic/app suppression.
Initially I didn?t think much about it as it was OTC and wasn?t leading me to any other kind of relapse on my other drugs of choice (coke/alcohol) nor have I had the urge to indulge in those at all.
But after I awhile I realized I kept doing more of it because of the mild high it would give me. I kept consciously taking it even though I knew the high was part of it.
I?ve since completely dropped ECA altogether.
I?m riddled with guilt now that I had kept buying it partly because of the high and that I have technically relapsed and have to tell the sober house staff, my therapist, etc etc. I?ve been making really really great progress in life since I?ve been sober but now this guilt has me completely shut down with depression.
Just wondering what you guys think. Would this be considered a relapse or should I cut myself a break here? Again I?ve kept up with meetings,have a sponsor, still completely sober from all other drugs and alcohol, and have been doing really positively in life. It?s just that my guilty conscience has me riddled with guilt and I can barely seem to function now due to the resultant depression. I just wanted to come to an anonymous place and let this out.
Would really appreciate any feedback you guys might have.
Thanks everyone.
So I?ve been sober now from drugs and alcohol for close to 8.5 months now. I live in a sober house and go to AA/NA meetings.
I started taking bronkaid as part of my ECA stack to help with app suppression and as a general thermogenic.
Over time I started taking more and more of the bronkaid along with C and A as it helped more with app suppression but also because I seemed to start feeling some mild euphoric effect in combination with the anti deppresant I?m on.
So I continued taking it for that mild high it would give me along for the thermogenic/app suppression.
Initially I didn?t think much about it as it was OTC and wasn?t leading me to any other kind of relapse on my other drugs of choice (coke/alcohol) nor have I had the urge to indulge in those at all.
But after I awhile I realized I kept doing more of it because of the mild high it would give me. I kept consciously taking it even though I knew the high was part of it.
I?ve since completely dropped ECA altogether.
I?m riddled with guilt now that I had kept buying it partly because of the high and that I have technically relapsed and have to tell the sober house staff, my therapist, etc etc. I?ve been making really really great progress in life since I?ve been sober but now this guilt has me completely shut down with depression.
Just wondering what you guys think. Would this be considered a relapse or should I cut myself a break here? Again I?ve kept up with meetings,have a sponsor, still completely sober from all other drugs and alcohol, and have been doing really positively in life. It?s just that my guilty conscience has me riddled with guilt and I can barely seem to function now due to the resultant depression. I just wanted to come to an anonymous place and let this out.
Would really appreciate any feedback you guys might have.
Thanks everyone.