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Thread: Introducing my self and need some help and advice please!

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    Introducing my self and need some help and advice please! 
    #1
    Hi to everyone,
    I signed up yesterday, but I have being reading you for a long time and found good info about many thinks specially drug and detox related and I am glad this place exist! Like my nickname say:"iwant2bfree" the1967 is my year of birth. I am a female and live in Spain, actually I am Spanish. I started to use drugs as I was 17, whit 28 years I came out of Rehab and and maintained Heroin free until over 2 years ago. Like you can imagine it was not a joke it was a propper crash. I did in this 2 years a propper degree Shame on me after so long, but shit happends and theire is nothing I can change ...... only look positiv in the future. I learned a lot between other thinks that I can control all drugs except Heroin which controlls me. I am aware she is more powerfull as me and I have to accept and to move away or it will be recipy for big disaster and I dont want that!!!!. I?m 51 years old! I am a adult women! whit a daughter! and if I don?t stop there are little ways out, like for everyone.

    I startet 6 months ago Subuxone here in Spain ( I am from Spain and live her). I planed to take vacation (stupid me) on Sub 11 days ago for just 2 days, now we are on the 11.th day. During this days I said to my self every day "this is the last one" .... tomorrow I go back on SUB. Tomorrow tomorrow, we all know this, this is international: Tomorrow I stop. I am a imbecil and put my self as dead line 1 week. We are at day 11 !! I am so scared to go oback on Sub. Last night, like the night before and also the previous night before I was working out a plan to go back on Sub on the less painless way possible. I investigated the Bernese method, because i was so scared about induction again .... I am also scared about the bernese method because i never tried before. Now my mind has being playing games and this eary morning I came up whit the briliant idea of buying some Methadone, which I already have, also more H to spend the rest of the day to think better whit my junkie brain! ( that?s the excuse again.... to think).

    Please help!/advice/suggest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    This is my plan. I have stopped subuxone exactrly 11 days ago and I was on just 2 mg. I started whit 6 mg and I reduced on my own during this time because I had a lot of side effects, sleeping arms and legs, swetting arms and legs etc. From what I have read in the USA you take a lot of SUB, maybe down to the quality of drugs of your choice or to the way work your doctors.

    Now I am thinking to take for some days Methadon only and after 5 days max and stop all: Suboxone and Methadon after those days and try and continuy whit my life. If I cant coup whit I thought I could go back on Subuxone after the 5 days of Methadon living 2 days to clear the Meth out of my system. My consumption of Heroin (Snortet has being of 0.5 gr a day +/-) Every day whit out stopping

    It would be great to hear back from you about my plan or maybe someone creative options(this issarcasme) or another new plan which could be better.
    How long could I take methadone whit no major problems to not get hoocked, any experience WELCOME!! because dispite of what i wrote belive me or not IWANT2BEFREE d! or maybe not I guess I have a big mess and a lot of fair.
    greetings !
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    #2
    Moderator
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    aihfl's Avatar
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    One of these duplicate threads need to be deleted. Please let me know which one.
    Struggling with addiction? Join us at Sober Living. We can help.
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    #3
    Want2befree-Welcome!! Hola Chica!! Wow, we could be sisters separated only by geography right now! I read your post and obviously you are not alone. Hopefully somebody with more experience with Methadone will hop on and offer you some solid advice. What I can tell you is that we have many similarities-the age, the daughters and the disease. I, like you, am terrified to induct on my Suboxone. I have been posting about this for weeks now. I had a plan also. But, as you know, heroin has her own plans. Heroin is so cunning. I don't know exactly (or maybe I do) why I am so scared to take my Sub. I think I just don't want to say goodbye to the dope. Plain and simple. Even though it has robbed me of most of my self-respect and anything else of value...I continue to self-medicate because it is what I do and have done for a decade plus. I hope you continue to post. Every weekend I plan on quitting. Every weekend I am back here posting about how that plan exploded in my face. But I keep trying or at least I know I want to quit. Its that duality that is a motherfucker!! I want to quit but I want to keep using, if only to not have to suffer withdrawal or pain of any sort. And that is not realistic.

    If you were able to reduce your Suboxone dose (I always thought LESS IS MORE with Sub), then you know that you have the ability/strength in yourself to make some progress. Baby steps, right?
    Anyway, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! FYI, my Spanish consists of 3 semesters of college classes. But I would love to try to habla en Espanol!?

    Buena Suerte Chica!
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    #4
    Hey want2befree, I'm sorry, I may not have understood everything you said, but it seems like you can be completely off of suboxone? Or at the very least 2mgs of suboxone? If that's the case, I would try ordering Kratom and using that instead. It seems your tolerance is low enough to at least keep withdrawals away. After a few days you can lower the dose, and the Kratom will start to give you energy, pain relief, and make you happy. You can search the internet and get all of the information you need.

    You will see the same stories from all walks of life: "Kratom saved me."
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    #5
    Hi TripMcnearly,
    I have being taking Suboxone for 6month, for the las month I was taking only 2mg a day. I was stupid and startet to take heroin again. There is where I am for the las 12 days. Now I am scared and don?t know what to do. I am scared to induct again with Subuxone after have being using heroin for 12 days or if I could jump of Subuxone and maybe take some Methadne for a few days. I have some Methadone at home and I could take during 3 o 4 days methadone and not take subuxone again. The problem is if I take Metadon and want to go back on subuxone /or have to, because I dont feel well; whit the Metadone I have to wait much longer If I need to induct Subuxone.

    Any sugestion or help please? I am all messed up in the head because I dont know what to do.
    I also ca not start to experience whit Kratom now, i need to make a decision, how longer I live it more dificult it becomes for me.
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    #6
    I'm sorry to hear all of this, and I know how difficult, scary, and confusing it is to be "trapped" in the middle of heroin/opiate addiction, especially after you thought you were done with it forever.

    I HIGHLY recommend staying away from the Methadone at this point. You're tolerance seems to be too low, and if you truly want to detox, it will only make things worse for you. It stays in your body much longer than suboxone and much, much longer than Heroin. If you take the Methadone, and then use your supply it will only increase your tolerance, making it more difficult to detox.

    Also Methadone builds up in the body and the effects wear off before the drug is processed out. This is very important because after your last dose of Methadone, you will experience withdrawal symptoms before you can use suboxone, and if you turn to Heroin for relief, the odds of a lethal overdose increase dramatically.

    Kratom truly helped me get off of opiates at a similar level of tolerance that you seem to have. It's safe, hardly addictive, and easy to maintain/manage the dosage. All you need is a scale 10 Euro scale that measures grams, and an order from a reputable company, some research online, and within a week you can start lowering your doseage. Trust me, I'm trying to steer you away from the harmful stuff that ruins lives! : ) It saved me until I relapsed with Fentanyl/Heroin.

    I detoxed too many times to count on my own at home over the last 6 years. It wasn't until a month ago when I went to hospital detox and refused all opiate medications. It was extemely difficult due to how I used (I.V.), my severe tolarance, and length of use. You will have a much easier time in life going this route. It should be a tough 3 or 4 days for you, but you will be taken care of. The after care is the most important part.

    I was terrified, but I cannot tell you the relief I felt afterwards. Not having to hide this awful addiction. Feeling alive and "normal" again, and going into these clinical/peer support groups is also huge part of this. Why go through all of that suffering, just to use again and end up back in this position?

    Either way, there are options, and there is help. I felt hopeless and trapped. And terrified that everyone will know what I was doing. That was only 27 days ago, and now everyone knows and I feel great. Yes I struggle with a pain condition and have mental issues as well, but anything is better than being in that horrific Heroin cycle.

    Good luck want2befree, and keep us updated!
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    #7
    Lol. Hey Lovemissile, when do you want to go to Spain? The three of us have alot in common. Struggling w heroin, fear of inducting subs (cause it is shitty) and I also have a daughter.

    want2befree- Hola Chica! You're not alone. You now have 2 women, in very similar situations as you.

    You are far from hopeless. Take a breath. You can get back on subs. Yes, you have to be careful taking methadone because of the longer half-life. But, you haven't been taking it that long. So, it's not like you have a high level of it built up in your system.

    Maybe, after you're out of methadone - can you aquire any short-acting opiates? Such as codeine, Percocet? If you can, take them for maybe 5 days then transition onto subs. Or can you get comfort meds such as gabapentin or Lyrica? They make all the difference. And they're not opiates - so you don't have to be worried about pre-cipitated withdrawal while taking them.

    I'm inducting myself - for the 100th time- as I'm typing this. I have 2mgs of Subutex under my tongue. I do heroin about 2x a month. Anywhere from a day to five days to.my worst being 11 days.

    I'm improving though. This past month was 3 or 4 days. I'm not going to give up. I think that's the key.

    Don't give up want2befree. You can get back on track. Look at your relaspe as a learning experience. That's what it is. I'm learning that the financial problems, extreme stress, and feeling horrible for days that using dope causes isn't worth the few hours of being high. Amongst other things. The waiting and hassle of aquiring dope along w dealing with the quality of people I have to deal with is just too much aggravation. Like way too much.

    I hope you come back to update us.
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    #8
    Bluelighter ladyhlove's Avatar
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    Hey there want2befree and welcome!

    The Bernese method works. I've done it a ton of times and I've had success with it before. The hardest part of the Bernese method is eventually putting the dope down...you will always convince yourself that you need just one more day on it. You shouldn't be scared of it either. Even if you go into precipitated withdrawal, taking a full agonist will bring you out of the wd within a few seconds. If I were to go back on subs, that's the only way I would ever induct again.

    DO NOT take methadone. Unless you have a enough for a proper detox (which you don't), it'll just make things worse. You will have to wait 3-5 days to use subs after your last methadone dose. It will not make things better it will only prolong your misery. I'm on methadone maintenance and it works well for me, but my tolerance was(and prob still is) a lot larger than yours. If you were only needing 2mg of subs a day, methadone is a bad idea. Whats the mg of this methadone anyways? You never mentioned that.

    If you need any advice regarding the Bernese method, let me know, I've done it more times than I can count.
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