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Thread: Jumping off

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    Jumping off 
    #1
    Hey all! Posting for first time. I?m 56 and tired of methadone. Tired of clinic. Tired of having to hide my addiction.
    i wish I had time and patience to read all post cause I?m sure most of the answers are in there.
    Been on methadone for 6 yrs, 2mos. The highest dose was 90. I?ve tapered to 10mg in 2 yrs. was tapering 5mg till 25, then started going down 2mgs, then went to 10. I been stuck at 10 for 6 mo. Scared as crap to jump.
    Is this gonna be painful? I have anxiety/ depression issues as is. Could I expect worse?
    I do live alone. Not one single soul knows of my addiction, other than the clinic. I have family, grown daughters, and two elderly parents that depend on me due to their failing health. I can not- not work., but at 10...... would it be all that?
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    #2
    Well, I read some of “Hik” post. Then read some of Dales. I do believe when I was tapering quickly I was having the same crappy cold feeling. Could not get warm last winter. Sleep in long johns and sweats. Went from 90mg to 10mg. That’s been awhile, I stabilized a month ago. I do feel a big difference already but can’t wait to not have to take that 10 mg in the morning to move.
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    #3
    I wish I knew the answer my friend. I do know that you have made major progress already!! If you can taper even lower I gotta think that it could help. Is that an option?
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    #4
    Thanx for reply. I have time, I think. I was wanting off before Dec. was wanting to feel good before Dec.
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    #5
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    10mg is going to be awful. Like I really don't recommend going off at that dose. Taper all the way to 1mg then stay there awhile to stabilize. At that point find a doctor to write comfort meds. Zofran, Valium, clonidine, Lyrica, 800mg ibuprofin and some good pot.

    There's also a new school of thought which says you should go from methadone to Suboxone then abstinence. That's the method I'm trying. Some people go from methadone to a short acting opiate like tramadol. There's all kinds of ideas out there. But the first crucial step is getting down to 1mg methadone
    Addicted? Want to stop? We can help! Come to the sober living forum!
    http://www.bluelight.org/vb/forums/269-Sober-Living
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    #6
    Hey man, give yourself some credit. You went down 80 mgs of methadone. Do you think maybe speaking to your daughters about it? Obviously depends on the type of person, but if you explain what you're doing/about to do, i can't see them not being supportive. BUT this is a case by case type thing lol. There are people that DO NOT understand or handle anything associated with addiction well. Sometimes people surprise you and are soooo understanding.

    Why are were you put on methadone in the first place? Also if you've tapered down to 10mgs from 90mgs of METHADONE, I do not see a hidden "addiction" at this point, but a dependence. Huuuge difference because if you're not doing dope on such low doses of methadone, it's clearly dependence, not addiction (just my opinion).

    Are.there any benefits from your daily dose? If you're def. going to get off 100 percent, I highly suggest dropping 1mg at a time comfortably, until you're ok at 1mg for a bit and just jump off (not sure of the clinic's specifics or if any of this is allowed??).

    If you go suboxone route, you'll probably end up on a higher opiate equivalency if you methadone dose is in the lower single digits. Then you're going to have to do this all over again, unless you do like a 2 week sub taper and then jump off. I think 8mg sub strip is roughly equivalent to like 150mgs oxy???

    I suggest seeing a psych after as well because, years of use can really screw the brain chemistry up and it's good to be under pysch care to prevent depression and relapse.

    Just my 2 cents. Good luck and keep us posted.
    Trip
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    #7
    Oh ps... maybe go to psych/addiction dr. beforehand thus establishing relationship and gameplan. Ask for low dose klonopin AFTER the methadone has half-lifed out of your body to ease the wd symptoms and anxiety, but who knows with these fucking doctors today.
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    #8
    Thanks for the replies. Lots of good advice. I decided to drop 2mgs, then 1 there after. 1mg must b a dot, residue in bottle. Thinks that dependency would be a better word than addiction at that point. I never thought of the two separately. Interesting, something to google.
    Thought that the clinic would help with WD’s, but no the friendly Dr there said that they treat addiction, not recovery. I left pissy, thinking they are no better than neighborhood pushers, just legal. But....... it makes a bit more sense now.
    I got hurt, had a RX for loritabs. Kept getting it refilled. Found someone with RX wasn’t using them. Found dilaudids. Everyone knows how it goes.
    I am ashamed. I hide them. That was years ago. Now I lie when I need to go to clinic. I go once every 21 days. Stick to the program. I’m sure, that back in the day..... my family knew, they HAD to of.
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    #9
    I would say after tapering down from 90-10 in 5 mo——the awful cold/hot on body feeling at the same time wasn’t anything near the brain fog. I can’t remember shit. Write notes to self but forget to read them. Everyday i sit and try to remember what I need to do that day. Also I found I pushed everyone away. Don’t know if these are mental side effects or just me getting older. The depression was the worst. Not wanting to “BE”, not wanting to do anything or see anyone, but not wanting to be alone or sit. There was NO relief. First time in life I just wanted it to end. So, I’m scared of coming off methadone, or any substance. I use Xanax at times now, to help with whirlwind thoughts. I’m hoping with no methadone, I can get my brain back.
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    #10
    Good Luck to you Eibbed. I think the progress you have made is amazing and very admirable. Please be careful with the Xanax!! That stuff is no joke. Benzos are not my DOC, but when I took Xanax for more than 3 days, and I'm talking a small amount-like .25mg, and then I stopped.....HORRIBLE! I praise anyone who is attempting or has successfully attempted quitting benzos. I was sick as a dog, massive headache. Anyway, just don't catch a new habit!
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    #11
    Love, yea benzos are rough especially when used for legit reasons. I've kicked oxy and benzo on multiple occasions at 1-3mg alprazolam per day; 3 being extremely rare, and 1.5 being the norm. I really never abused them and may have to go back to klonopin after some time. The worst part for me was simply my anxiety symptoms coming back x2 or 3. Fent still takes first place in the "fucking shoot me" category, in my experience.

    E has to just be very careful with xanax becuse methadone has such a long half life, and it continuously builds up even after the effects are gone. Please take as small a dose as possible as little as possible. How many of mgs alprazolam do you usually take?

    It's a great drug for panic disorder and anxiety and I found worlds more manageable than opiates. For 15 years on and off, 1-2 mgs was, for the most part I would take per day. The key was taking a day or two off here and there. Just has to be done or eventually you'll just keep climbing. I found Klonopin(outpatient has me on taper) helps with my muscle spasms a bit more than xanax.

    And about the fear and ending it, I understand. This is the first time in a looong time I don't want to end it. It's tough being in so much fucking pain and just hoping lyrica does the job, but it's better than crying in my car on the side of the highway in less physical pain hahaha. Remember you always have medical detox to go to if it's overwhelming. You don't have to do this alone. The staff at these places can really.make you feel good about what you're doing, even though you feel like death.

    Just embelish a bit, and tell them the truth. Tell them you use xanax regularly, and you just can't seem To jump from few mgs methadone. Reason embelishing about benzo use is because they don't.consider ANY opiate wd a medical necessity, but alcohol and benzo detoxes they cannot turn away (i'd say 3mgs a day for the last year should.be enough to be taken seriously, being that my 1-2mg/day for 15 years on and off wasn't enough to be weaned off benzos according to the doctor!)

    Either way detox will def. put you on suboxone. If you end up using subs, FAST TAPER. Demand it. Be on it no longer than 2 weeks otherwise you'll jist be going backwards, and you'll be posting next year about how you dropped from 20 mgs to 2mg suboxone, but can't drop lower.

    Also, they made me sign a release before they accepted me so they can tell my dr everything and verify everything I said, so if you plan on going this route and plan on keeping xanax, tell your doctor whats going on and what your going tell them. Unfortunately you have to work the system most of the time.

    And DEFINITELY see a psychiatrist before, during, and after. If you can't afford one go to the ER at good hospital, and tell them you want to kill yourself and that your detoxing off of methadone and you've been obsessing with hurting yourself. They'll admit you and take care of you if it's a decent place. That's the route I had to go.
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    #12
    I’m so glad to have found this forum.
    The info on benzo’s was great. I had no idea they were so powerful. I’m beginning to think the withdrawal from Benzo is greater than methadone.
    the dr that prescribes said “no more” last July. That he legally can’t prescribe with methadone. I was only taking .5mg so I thought no big deal. It was the same times I was tapering from methadone. So, I can not explain the mental state, the insomnia, I never ever had problems sleeping before. I’m the kinda person that falls asleep before my head hits the pillow. So, no sleep, mood swings, no one, I mean no one wanted to be around. I was just a bitch, full up with the resting bitch face.
    Now I have a stock pile of Xanax. He had prescribe 60 and I only took 30 every month. I started taking .25 at night again 6 weeks ago and I’ll be damn if my body did not get dependent again that quick on such a low dose.
    Ive read some of the stories on here. I know my journey is nothing comparatively, but in my life it’s pretty big. I have elderly parents that I care for. Brain fog isn’t cool. I gotta remember things. Will it ever come back????
    good advice from “Trip”. Thank you for the words. Lots of good advice.
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    #13
    Just saying the dr had prescribed Xanax from 2002-2017. That’s a long time. No taper. Said I would be fine
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