Love, yea benzos are rough especially when used for legit reasons. I've kicked oxy and benzo on multiple occasions at 1-3mg alprazolam per day; 3 being extremely rare, and 1.5 being the norm. I really never abused them and may have to go back to klonopin after some time. The worst part for me was simply my anxiety symptoms coming back x2 or 3. Fent still takes first place in the "fucking shoot me" category, in my experience.
E has to just be very careful with xanax becuse methadone has such a long half life, and it continuously builds up even after the effects are gone. Please take as small a dose as possible as little as possible. How many of mgs alprazolam do you usually take?
It's a great drug for panic disorder and anxiety and I found worlds more manageable than opiates. For 15 years on and off, 1-2 mgs was, for the most part I would take per day. The key was taking a day or two off here and there. Just has to be done or eventually you'll just keep climbing. I found Klonopin(outpatient has me on taper) helps with my muscle spasms a bit more than xanax.
And about the fear and ending it, I understand. This is the first time in a looong time I don't want to end it. It's tough being in so much fucking pain and just hoping lyrica does the job, but it's better than crying in my car on the side of the highway in less physical pain hahaha. Remember you always have medical detox to go to if it's overwhelming. You don't have to do this alone. The staff at these places can really.make you feel good about what you're doing, even though you feel like death.
Just embelish a bit, and tell them the truth. Tell them you use xanax regularly, and you just can't seem To jump from few mgs methadone. Reason embelishing about benzo use is because they don't.consider ANY opiate wd a medical necessity, but alcohol and benzo detoxes they cannot turn away (i'd say 3mgs a day for the last year should.be enough to be taken seriously, being that my 1-2mg/day for 15 years on and off wasn't enough to be weaned off benzos according to the doctor!)
Either way detox will def. put you on suboxone. If you end up using subs, FAST TAPER. Demand it. Be on it no longer than 2 weeks otherwise you'll jist be going backwards, and you'll be posting next year about how you dropped from 20 mgs to 2mg suboxone, but can't drop lower.
Also, they made me sign a release before they accepted me so they can tell my dr everything and verify everything I said, so if you plan on going this route and plan on keeping xanax, tell your doctor whats going on and what your going tell them. Unfortunately you have to work the system most of the time.
And DEFINITELY see a psychiatrist before, during, and after. If you can't afford one go to the ER at good hospital, and tell them you want to kill yourself and that your detoxing off of methadone and you've been obsessing with hurting yourself. They'll admit you and take care of you if it's a decent place. That's the route I had to go.
