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Thread: Relapse from short term recovery

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    #26
    Shadowmeister
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    I would also take hot showers (sitting though, even more relaxing) until the water ran out, and then as soon as it came back take another. I envisioned inventing a device that is sort of like a capsule you put your body in and your head sticks out with a pillow for support... it would continually heat water and shower it onto your body. You could urn it on and go to sleep. Would have helped me SO much... I would doze off in the shower because for whatever reason the hot water hitting your legs makes the RLS stop, but then after the shower it would come back.
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    #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by herbavore View Post
    It is hard for sure to have people you know become names in a shrine. I hope in some way it can help motivate you to keep returning to your goal. Death is very real. I was reading something today about spiritual practices all having one thing in common and that is relapse (from your own true values and practices) and return. The author said the return is simply a remembering. So to stretch that concept to embrace addiction and relapse, the way forward is to remember your goals, remember the reasons for your goals, remember and return to them without shame or self-punishment. It's all about learning oneself, learning how to come back to oneself, over and over, as long as it takes. I think relapse can be a very good tool to give you more information about what to beware of, where and when your defenses are down. Glad you got back on the path so quickly--that should give you confidence.
    ^^^Wow! That right there is just a diamond!
    Thank you!
    Hats off to you herbavore!

    "It's all about learning oneself, learning how to come back to oneself, over and over, as long as it takes."
    That right there is the secret to life! It is what we are here to learn.
    Don't forget who you ARE!

    You are doing just fine! The restless legs thing is a horror. I agree. That feeling is so uncomfortable.
    I went through a night of that myself a few days ago.

    Sending you love, support and encouragement !
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    #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mafioso View Post
    So, good news and bad news.

    Bad news... depending on how long and how much you were using, 3-6 days in might not be the worst. For me, usually somewhere around 4-8 days in is when things got really ugly. Things start to calm down and level out around day 10-14, although if you're using opioids like methadone the acute withdrawals can persist for 30+ days is what I've heard people report.

    Good news... using again doesn't "reset" the withdrawal phase. So long as you don't start using daily again, you'll still be on you're way off. Some "taper", or slowly reduce their dose, to make withdrawals less intense. I wouldn't advise trying to taper off opioids because of how hard it is to control yourself, but just know that one use doesn't mean failure. It's not so much a relapse as it is you struggling to get it right, and mistakes are not the end of the world. At this point in your recovery, I wouldn't get hung up on that word too much.

    Also, some more good news(at least in my opinion), there is no such thing as "addictive personalities". It's a commonly used term that is NOT recognized and accepted by the world of science and psychology. Addiction is a biopsychosocial disease, meaning it affects your body, mind and the world around you. There are genetic components that can make someone more or less predisposed, but this is just one factor among many. Who YOU are, how you were raised, where you were raised, in what culture you were raised, with what culture you identify with, your socioeconomic status, your friends, your friends parents, etc. are all potential factors just as much as who your parents are. No one is born an addict unless your mother used drugs while pregnant. And even then, I'd argue they are not an "addict", but instead addicted. We HAVE problems, we are not our problems.

    Like most, I'd imagine that you weren't always the way you are now. You even mention a time that was better that you'd like to return to. In the same way that you didn't get to where you are overnight, you won't get back to where you were overnight. One of the hardest things to stomach for me was accepting how much time I had wasted, and how much time I must spend to get back to where I once was. I know when you are fighting cravings it can seem like recovery is just about overcoming the urge to use. And it largely is, at first. But the real work comes with things like relearning how to deal with intense emotions and not just ignoring them. Your thoughts will still be bouncing around in your head, and left unaddressed they will drive you into madness. Listen to the way you think and talk to yourself. Negative self-talk is extremely common and extremely hindering. It's not uncommon to think that you have to mentally beat yourself up as punishment for making a mistake. The truth is though, this does nothing to further the solution or rectify the problem. It only makes things worse by causing things like anxiety and self-esteem issues.


    TLDR: You're going to be ok, you have a rough ride ahead, but you can make it. You can look into "comfort meds for opioid detox" if your situation is unbearable. Make sure to stay hydrated- Gatorade, Pedialyte, and watered-down sprite is what I drank personally. Get easy to eat and easy to prep food. Canned chicken noodle soup, cup noodles, rice, bread, those sorts of things. Shit you can eat when you are dead sick with the flu. You are basically treating yourself for a severe flu for the next week or two. How showers, short walks, Netflix, youtube, and podcast. Give that mind something to chew on while its turning over and over. And something that can't be stressed enough, human connection. It might be time to come clean to your family and friends.

    Isolation is often what keeps us from moving forward. If nothing else, keep us posted on what is going on. People care, and you are worth it.

    thank you......well said!!
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