Recovery IV FENTANYL DETOX(long post)

[Stargazer]

Back to mobile phone format ??️?️??? Thanks aih!

 

[TripMcnealy]

I definitely think of something entirely different when I read "a hit" lol. I can only imagine how long it would take to even consider doing anything other than pull your hair out during an episode like that. That's awful. I get a little drowsy if anything. Migraine meds giving rebound migraines?? Modern medicine still has some ways to go. I'll ask on my next visit because I've been getting way more light migraines since I've been on Lyrica, which seems to be doing its job. The side effects aren't great, but anything beats having to revolve the entire day around 4 hour fits of pain.
Trip

 

[Stargazer]

I cannot even begin to tell you what I've been through w CH's. Not rocking and pacing...or possibly jumping out of a window- took a long time. I sit still. Completely. Eyes closed. But, I'm covered in sweat. It rivets off my jaw. There's no hiding it. It's all I can not to start screaming.

Obviously I get my ass handed to me. It's exhausting. When I feel them coming on I feel panic rise and I have to shut it down. It makes everything worse.

There's some really cool cluster headache art.

How you feeling today Trip? Yeah lol. Rebound headaches from headache medication. Wtf? C

 

[Painful One]

10 years- I get cluster headaches also. They are completely debilitating! I'm so sorry you suffer with those also and Trip suffering with the Migraines. Horrible stuff! My heart goes out to anyone suffering with Migraines and cluster headaches.

Trip- you sound well brother! You are really coming through this thing with great courage. I'm glad the Lyrica is helping some.
Yeah, four hour fits of pain suck! I hope that gets better for you as you continue to progress.
I hope you are feeling proud, happy, and are enjoying life again.

Sending you all lots of love and support!

 

[Stargazer]

Please ask about Maxalt sub-lingual tablets. I've suggested them to alot of people. It really is life-changing- it's the difference between proceeding with your day or being locked in a dark room in agony. You won't ever go anywhere without them once you have them.

They come in little, blue plastic handy dandy containers in a group of 3. It's actually a really nice and convenient container. The tablets are "crumbly", I imagine because they're dissolvable.

I ask for name brand because some of the generics suck. I don't want to have to have a migraine if I don't have to.

If you do get them, let me know what you think.

Glad the Lyrica is helping! I know about Neurontin and Lyrica not supposed to be Rx'd together. I use Lyrica as a break through med. Neurontin on it's own doesn't help w CH's.

As I said, I'm scared if I take it daily it won't help anymore as has happened w so many meds that worked initially then stopped working.

Hope you are having a good day.

 

[Stargazer]

Painful One-

Thank you for the kind words . And vice versa!! I'm so sorry you have CHs!!! I mean that.

And you made me lol!! I read your post in The Dark Side - when you got angry at the lady w the son using. You said something like "Let me tell you something Lady". I burst out laughing!!

I wasn't in any way laughing at the subject, as it's close to my own heart. It was your comment. I understand how you could feel that way from that post.

Hope your day is good Painful one.

 

[Rachella666]

Hi guys, do ye mind if I join ye? I saw that dreaded word fentanyl popping out at me, been prescribed the 100mcg patches for the last 2 years which has lead me to having a poly-drug habit. Gosh, what I would do to have subs passed in our legislation here (Ireland).
I have a severe fear of vomiting which has destroyed my life and is one of the main things that stops me from going CT, along with crippling anxiety. It's a breath of fresh air to find this thread, I feel like crying knowing that there are others out there suffering still, and those who have overcome it.
Trip, you are an inspiration to me dude xxx
Rachel

 

[TripMcnealy]

Hey Rachella welcome to my sob story thread. What's going on in Ireland? I have a bunch of Irish friends, and from what I gather it's mainly party drugs and recreational, and there isn't much heavy, hardcore drug use compared to America or even the U.K.

Bunch of questions: What's your opiate habit looking like now? What other drugs are you using and are you addicted or physically dependent on them? How is Suboxone illegal in Ireland??? It's practically shoved down people's throats here. I'm guessing Methadone is protocol over there?

I don't know what's available as far as treatment goes by you, but maybe you can fill us in. Cold turkey is fucking really, really rough, especially with pre-existing mental and physical conditions. The thing is though, once you go over the edge of the cliff of withdrawals, so to speak, all you're able to do is suffer through it.

Getting passed the early WD/jonesing stage, and entering the dreaded "I can't stand up and get drugs or do anything but suffer in all sorts of agony for 3 or 4 days," is one way to go, whether at home or in a hospital or facility. The only work you have to do is make it to that point of dope sickness. The rest is involuntary. It's like skydiving. Once you step out of the plane, all you can do is wait until you land; you just have to commit to taking that step.

Maybe fill us in on your history a bit, answer at least 2 of my million questions, and what you're looking to achieve and hopefully we can give you some good advice.
And thank you, but I did not do it alone and still have a long way to go! Look forward to hearing back from you.
Trip

 

[TripMcnealy]

10, I'm still amazed you're able to do that. It reminds me of the monk who sat entirely still after setting himself ablaze in the middle of the street in Vietnam to protest for buddhist rights. There's clearly something legitimate to tap into and develop there. Once I get all squared away I'll begin that chapter.

It sucks to hear that there's so much shit going on with you guys. No wonder we're on this forum...

Painful and 10 Thanks, I'm doing a lot better, just going to take a shitload of time. The Lyrica started to really do it's job in a big way about a week ago. Had some heavy side effects a few days later though. Some extreme long lastimg anxiety episodes and a full day in bed halfway catatonic, but powered through it and hoping it dissipates. I'm worried about it not working down the line as well, but I guess i'll have to cross that bridge if I come to it.
Thanks again
Trip

 

[Stargazer]

Hey there Trip!

Wow, that sucks about the anxiety from Lyrica. I know how difficult powering through anxiety is. It's a mf'r. No two ways about it.

RACHELLA - you are certainly more than welcome to join in. Welcome! You know what? I had a severe phobia of vomiting too. To the point I became anxorexic.

My theory was, if I didn't eat, I'd have nothing to vomit. I could resist vomiting to an extreme.

I overcame it. By ending up vomitting alot because of headaches and medications. It's not even a slight worry to me anymore.

I knew noone else w that phobia at the time. I think it's the "losing control" part more than the actual vomiting. I felt like I didn't have a choice when it came to vomiting.

A Dr. with the same phobia, wrote a book. I was shocked. I'm surprised that there are others w that same struggle. You're not alone RACHELLA.

I'm not having a good week. I hope you guys are. I wanted to stop in and say hello.

Trip- since I've never taken Lyrica as directed, I'm interested in hearing more about your experience.

Much Love to everyone.

Ps- when I throw up, I squinch my eyes shut, turn the water on in the sink full force and hang on. Literally. I don't want to hear it or see it.

 

[Painful One]

Good to hear you are doing better brother! Nice job!

It is going to take some time. Don't get discouraged. Just keep doing the best you can.
Your body will stabilize. Try to keep a balance. That is the best way I have found to deal with the chronic pain.

Spoil yourself and take care!!

 

[EPL1]

Trip,

Just wanted to pop by and tell you I was thinking of you, I am so proud of you my friend!!
I hope the Lyrica continue to work well for you.
xo.


Painful,

Can't let the day go by without saying hello to you and telling you what a truly wonderful person you are!!!


Hi 10!!!

We haven't chatted in a while so I hope this message finds you well, you are such a sweetheart!!!




I hope you are all doing well and know that you have a friend here that's always rooting for you.

Much love to you all,
your friend,
Ash.

 

[TripMcnealy]

Hey hey 2 month mark tomorrow. Strange how even during periods of misery, time seems to fly retrospectively lol. I've realized this is by far the longest I've gone without opiates or abusing a drug, including alcohol or smoking a cigarette in 12 years.

Thanks PO and Ash. I'm trying. It's more of a head game at this point. Not certain of what my physical/mental limitations are now, or will be, after my brain gets it shit together lol. So it's making planning for the future difficult. For now just staying sober and getting healthy. Still out of breath walking up stairs if you can believe it (that's without smoking).

Keeping depression at bay and exerting myself physically for anxiety. On a super strict diet as well. I'm super grateful to have my pain levels dramatically reduced. The side effects suck, but the results are way worth it for now. Now I know how/why people with bipolar disorder and the likes stop taking their meds. I'm thinking, "I feel better now. I don't need this drug anymore." I'll definitely come off of it down the line to see where I stand.

Hope you're all doing well. Thanks again for all the support and suggestions.
Trip

 

[EPL1]

I'm glad you're doing so well, Be kind and patient with yourself.

I am glad the Lyrica is helping your pain, when I first blew my neck and before all the fusions I was first rx'd Lyrica then Gab, I had crazy dark thoughts on those drugs though and it really fucked with my head so I had to come off them. Glad it works for you.


Keep it up my friend.
Ash.

Hey hey 2 month mark tomorrow. Strange how even during periods of misery, time seems to fly retrospectively lol. I've realized this is by far the longest I've gone without opiates or abusing a drug, including alcohol or smoking a cigarette in 12 years.

Thanks PO and Ash. I'm trying. It's more of a head game at this point. Not certain of what my physical/mental limitations are now, or will be, after my brain gets it shit together lol. So it's making planning for the future difficult. For now just staying sober and getting healthy. Still out of breath walking up stairs if you can believe it (that's without smoking).

Keeping depression at bay and exerting myself physically for anxiety. On a super strict diet as well. I'm super grateful to have my pain levels dramatically reduced. The side effects suck, but the results are way worth it for now. Now I know how/why people with bipolar disorder and the likes stop taking their meds. I'm thinking, "I feel better now. I don't need this drug anymore." I'll definitely come off of it down the line to see where I stand.

Hope you're all doing well. Thanks again for all the support and suggestions.
Trip

 

[Painful One]

Painful One-

Thank you for the kind words . And vice versa!! I'm so sorry you have CHs!!! I mean that.

And you made me lol!! I read your post in The Dark Side - when you got angry at the lady w the son using. You said something like "Let me tell you something Lady". I burst out laughing!!

I wasn't in any way laughing at the subject, as it's close to my own heart. It was your comment. I understand how you could feel that way from that post.

Hope your day is good Painful one.

Haha! Glad you got a laugh out of that my friend. That thread ended up being from a "troll" and I can't believe I was the only one who went off on them. LOL!!!

Why anyone would "troll" this kind or any website is so stupid and beyond me ...?? I don't get it.

I don't know how I missed your message before but I just saw it.
Thank you for this message.

I hope you have a good day too 10!
Hope you all have a good day and keep your heads up everyone.
Sending you all lots of love and support!

 

[Painful One]

Congratulations on making it to the two month mark Trip!!

That is huge!
Well done!

Time has been flying by but is also so excruciating slow at times.
It is nice to hear you say that - you see why people go off bipolar medication etc. because you are feeling better and think you don't need that medication anymore. I think that is a very good sign. I would suggest keeping to the medication that is helping right now though.

Love you guys!

 

[JamieG27]

So I relapsed hard just over a year ago. I took on two jobs and my fibro pain was becoming unbearable.
My meds/kratom wasn't even touching my pain like it was for that relatively clean year, so I went searching and asking friends from my hometown couple hrs away from where I'm living now. Long story short, start sniffing what I think is H, but there is no H anymore, just Fent/Fent analogues. End up with pretty hefty habit, 3 or 4 bundles a day. Then i was introduced to someone else who's stuff was so strong I did less than a bundle per day, but that eventually turned into 3-4 a day. Couldn't afford it anymore and picked up the needle that weeks before I SWORE I would NEVER touch. Started with 1-2 bags and by month four i was injecting 3-4 bundles of this insanely strong and short acting Fent.
Shit started getting real bad real fast, even though i was still functioning at work etc... I was a mess and suicidal. I couldn't even OD with what I had my tolerance was so high (I went through 3000mgs of oxy in 2 days just to barely keep of wd's) Finally the damn broke when a family member knew something was up and found my note and my stash. I freaked for a while and eventually got back home empty handed and laid motionless while they begged me to get help.
The following afternoon the only thing that got me up to go to the hospital was my crying mother begging me. I could barely move as the wd's were kicking in.

I admitted myself into detox and held nothing back. The phlebotomist could barely draw blood and was looking at my veins like "wtf is this?"
In detox they gave me subs which did nothing. Within 7 hrs i was dry heaving every hour and beginning to experience delerium. The detox dr told me I was being discharged after 30 hrs because i was given subs and there was no medical reason for me to be there. I had to argue and get social workers involved and told them I will kill myself if I'm released from here, in order to get transferred into the psych ward where i refused all meds and cold turkeyed.
I couldnt eat, sleep, stand up, stop vomitting for 6 days straight. I was in a full blown psychosis. Finally after a week I could drink, but not eat and could barely get around with walker.
It was the most extreme wd that I've ever experienced and the docs and nurses never saw anything like it and they thought i was handicap.
I'm now 16 days clean, mentally I feel great. Like I just came out of a year long nightmare.I just started lyrica for fibro pain and cbd oil. I swore off opiates for good after that experience. The temors only stopped on day 12 and i could finally eat solids by day 14. Lost 30 lbs. I'm still extremely fatigued. Taking a shower feels like a marathon.

The reason for the length and details is in hopes to get the word to a some people who might be headed in the same direction. This shit is no joke. I've come off of heavy oxy addictions at home 10 times and it didnt even come close to this. It's so strong that if you dont die before you get tp detox, the doctors have no medicines strong enough that they can justifiably give you to wean off. Everyrthing is fent now (northeast). My friend lab tested several diff packages 2 months ago and there wasnt one positive for heroin, only fent. Please, if youre doing dope, the stuff that's around now makes heroin look like codeine, and there is no controlling it. It's brutal getting off, but the sooner the better. Choose life people ; )

Hey I am just at two caps of H with supposedly fent in it. It’s been about two months. Do u think I could just do a quick taper over the weekends

 

[sadboi]

The whole rambling on a fucking long ass unrelated tangent post about fent dope turned meth blues point is fentanyl dope/questionable'heroin'mixed with fentanyl to dope that is just some form of fentanyl or fentanyl analog and no heroin at all has introduced me to a separate way than I've ever experienced for my life to be seemingly great and envious for normal addicts to feeling like everyday is a new harsher, hotter, more demonic life without as much as a vapor of light or positivity and just seems to get deeper and deeper. More and more desperate. Pushing me into doing thing a few months ago that I would have flat out said he'll no I'm not doing that it's too fucking risky and too much to lose and not anywhere near enough to gain to risk interstate trafficking charges and not just an ounce but knowing people and unintentionally knowing too much and being forced to know more than I ever imagined with quantities so big the only next step there is is the guy who's getting rid of multiple key shipments every week to couple weeks. The next step is knowing if I got caught and spoke a word instead of taking my 15-20 years if I am lucky and hoping my commissary is kept with a few dollars for some honey buns and soda and that being the better side of what life would have become. To know that your plug has sat down with you and his plug and made you show them your family and their addresses with proof and what schools your neices and nephews and brothers go to and where they all work and their addresses and phone numbers and Facebook and pictures of them living for years at a time just to make sure nothing changes so you have to have this "talk" at least every 2-3 months and usually more like being asked every couple weeks how your mother is doing at her new promotion or where her new contract is at and what hours she's scheduled and what restaurant you all have been going to recently, for me to know that my life has come to two basic versions of how it will proceed, either I take 15years on a lucky day in court and hope my family is safe and I have 20$ in my commissary knowing if I don't that I can't so a fucking thing about it except make the decision to take the second path, which by now it would be too late for it to "HELP"me in any true way legally and really just would be me choosing for my family to at the very very fucking least to have to drop their entire life and move some good awful distant place away and know I will never be able to communicate with as much as a phone call nevertheless the people I'll be in prison with are ultimately affiliated in the worst ways with the organization who I took the fall for and if I were to get a phone call the system is so corrupt that it wouldn't be an entire hour before the prison guard would be back with the information from the phone company that's contracted for phone calls at the prison having merely had to write the letters STG investigation meaning security threat group aka Gangs and not having any probable cause whatsoever to even think about half asked protecting me because you lose that once you're in those doors and most likely will never truly get back what you're constitutionally guaranteed simply because of your prior history being deemed worthy of needing to keep track of you and always assume that my mere existence is only being granted by the criminal demon God's as to further my criminal career even if all I am doing is working for a Craigslist 90year old walking her beloved dog because she can't move more than 1/8 mile an hour and the slightest breeze would knock her over and cause her frail body to break a hip ultimately leading to a nursing home if she's poor or around the clock care at home and if she's lucky enough having enough money to avoid having bed sores just so she can live another 6 months only to contract a little bacterial infection in her lungs that ultimately progresses into pneumonia and then pulmonary edema and the death rattow before slipping into whatever lay beneath our realm of consciousness into what shall be forever whether it is a place like heaven or hell or if it's just crossing into mere unexistence and everything going black forevermore. Everyone knows the guys who sell dope can never be rehabilitated and will forever be a shitstain on society no matter how long you successfully avoided being a criminal and how many years you spent paying your debt to society. Your debt can never be repaid. Ever. You are forever destined to be treated with the utmost suspicion even when doing your random act of kindness for your elderly but lively in heart neighbor right before she falls into darkness. Of course you were just trying to fuck her and make her have a heart attack and at the very least inherit something from someone who ultimately ended up being able to accumulate something in this life without someone being deemed our forever overlords and controlling all aspects of our future based on what many of us will honestly swear with all our heart and family behind our word was simply us being in the wrong place at the wrong time because we can never actually be criminally minded and caused ourselves to get the charges we earned by our good natured daily choices. It was just one time. I've never done anything like this before. I don't even know what really happened. No officer I had no idea she really wanted me to drive her to Atlanta to "see her family at a shitty dinner and meeting a Mexican when she's every bit as full bred redheaded Irish as they come" I thought he was her cousin! No I didn't see her hand him a bag and him hand her something in the shape of a large turd or dick and her shove all 8 inches long and 4 inches wide package of 24 ounces of methamphetamine. I thought she was just horny and couldn't help herself so I let her bash this cock-like thing wrapped in Duct tape up her pussy, but he got satisfied with just one good thrust and must have wanted to keep her pussy capable of holding a good sized dick so she left it in her that. None of that was suspicious. No I thought letting her use my phone to ask 19 people if they are hot and need some cold was normal. How am I supposed to know if all her friends live in the Mexican desert and really didn't need a nice margarita and a presizee that ready for their storing with their cocks. Of course her pussy sounds like storing macaroni when you play with her clit. She has me hypnotized it's all her fault! I thought she really needed to see Esteban because they finally found each other after a decade of being forced apart by social services when they were 12 just because he wanted to play doctor and she loved being his assistant and the patient more than he could ever believe. No. No. No. It's not true! I'm a good boy, a nice cowardly upper-middle class raised white boy who dreamt of being a doctor because I thought it would really be like what playing doctor used to be like when I was 7 and kept getting caught with popsicle sticks shoved up my Sunday school classmates pussy and wondering why she pisses everywhere so slow instead of just telling me she has to piss and going to the bathroom. How was I supposed to know I wouldn't get to play with popsicle sticks once I had ate the treat frozen on to it with my patient from the never ending supply of women who need to see their good ole doctor. What else was I supposed to think when my mom kept having men from church come give me the talk and despite me supposed to have learned something I kept on just being a kid, me and my cousin who's birthday is January 10th making her 4 months older than me and my first little girlfriend who wanted nothing more than to make me happy and just knew she'd get the hang of everything in time and just had to go with the flow. That is what real love is. Submitting your every want need and time to your lover who deserves all of you or else she is a bad girlfriend like her mom's thirs boyfriend rants and raves about every Tuesday and Friday before you get handed a peanut butter sandwich and a jelly jar to scrape with your fingers and some goldfish and sent to bed at 6pm so mommy and dameon can play nudist colony and eventually without fail make you swear you should be calling 911 because you hear mommy begging him not to stop and screaming keep killing my pussy don't stop you fucking pansy worthless Mexican 7yr old dicked too tweaked for his dick to get hard while mommy's in full blown fuck the world mode and would even give you a shot at her pissy crack if you had one of those glass pipes and some dry wall or whatever it is they smoke. I can't wait for the day to be like my mommy and her boyfriend. I'm gonna be a good boy one day. I'll make it to the big house just like Daddy just you watch.

Sounds like Naked Lunch type nightmare shit. Without the brain of Burroughs but that goes without saying. Burroughs might have lost it with this type of intake