Aihfl, thank you. Yea I'm originally NYC based, although I live a few hours away, so I can probably look one up when visiting a friend. Actually going back on Monday to bring a hesitant friend who stopped drinking (heavy alcoholic), along with me to an NA, so he see can see.how it works. Thanks for the info, had no clue!
10 years, yes nobody should be going to Kensington alone, ESPECIALLY a woman!!! Making me nervous just thinking about it. God I've never seen so many cops respond to calls. It reminds me of a post apocalyptic 80's movie... or maybe Detroit in the 80's.
Uggg your post is giving me chills. I can't imagine having to kick Philly dope in a jail cell. I was treated like shit at the detox center, and even by some (especially in the beginning) in the Psych Ward. I overheard a nurse complaining about why they have a "2 dollar Hero" (not as in Superman, as in Heroin without the "in").
Pretty certain the theory is to teach dopeheads a 2, and if you have good insurance, 3 day lesson, and kick them out of the door on sub maintenance. I can't fucking imagine what that was like in jail. Did they just put you in concrete room and come in with a firehose every other day??
The place that a therapist and many others out here were pushing was called the Carin or Cairn foundation, not sure I only heard it. 1 in PA, 1 in FL. Thank god I didn't go.and have a 60,000 dollar debt for doing what the hospital did for me for a copayment. Most of these places are scams, have super high relapse rates, and prey on families' despair.
I was talking to someone while waiting in outpatient and he went there because his addiction dr. was urging him and his family and got him 10,000 dollar discount. My psych at the time was really pushing it, like there were no other options whatsoever. He spoke with my family and said he could get us a discount. I swear the corruption is so gross. These guys are 100 percent getting referral fees.
Both the person I spoke to and his family deeply regretted going there. From what I was told, addiction wasn't treated, nor was mental health, or any physical issue. They fucking used barbituates to get him off xanax!!! Then placed him in a horror show of a sober house. People shooting and selling he told me, and the owner didnt give a shit.
Anyway, it seems that in my case and yours, going the more difficult, non Malibu Passages route is what is actually needed.
Speak with a GOOD doctor and check online. I don't think both Pregabilin and Gabapentin should be taken at the same time. It's like being on Lexapro and Zoloft, you might be.doing more harm than good, and one might work just fine on its own. If we can do dope properly, we can at least do Lyrica right lol.
Quell: some swear by it, others find it useless. 6 months ago I wore it for 2 weeks and left it in drawer. Put it back on after hospital and it stopped my unhealthy self harm during Fibro flare ups (i swear i would have ended up cutting). Inflicting pain without hurting myself was the only relief I could get from the full body pain.
For me, the Quell, at the very least, seems to be a healthy way of doing just that. I wrap it under knee and put it on full blast. So it's definitely a distraction, and maybe stimulating the nerves so the brain releases some of that natural dope lol. Doesn't come close the temporary pain relief I get from working out though.
NA and clinics should focus a bit more on the physical side methinks...
Painful one
It does not sound at all like you're an addict. I just said in another thread, being physically dependent and being an addict are two seperate entities. I became physically dependant, then after some years, became an addict and was eventually spending every dollar I made and injecting ungodly amounts of dope.
Although it's smart to have your meds controlled like that, and I cannot believe you've maintained meds like this for such a long time, it's awful on the mind to suffer for so long. I know all too well and I'm not close to your levels.
Your family is ignorant to the matter, so don't listen to them. Only you know the pain you're in and if they had to live a week in our bodies, they'd understand. I remember how scared my ex fiance (notice the "EX") and parents were from watching vomit and scream from a bad migraine a few years ago. Thank god for Sumatriptan.
People aren't equipped to handle this sort of thing.
I mean 75 mgs of extended release oxy a day?? After years?? I could take 1500 mgs of instant release Oxycodone, 32 days ago and go to work fine, so you're doing great on that end after so many years.
There are better options out there, to at least help. One doctor years ago suggested a low dose of Methadone 1x a day, because he knew how dangerous being in chronic pain and using opiates was.
Have you looked into Kratom?? It's super manageable and the same dose is effective for years, and at your level, it shouldn't be too much of a tolerance difference for you. Also it's a bit of a long term project/hobby getting the strains and dosages right. It's probably the one thing keeping me positive when I feel nothing's working. It will be months before I can take it and even feel the effects (that's how severe my tolerance was), plus I'm completing the outpatient program the right way.
Pain wears you out. Maybe a chronic pain support group you can go to? This is Bluelight, and it's all about harm reduction. As someone who has struggled with suicide and had 2 or 3 legit attempts, I know that even mentioning it is a sign that you are suffering too more than you can cope with. Using more or different prescribed narcotic meds or trying Kratom is much safer than even having those thoughts lingering in the back of your head.
Peace and love. Peace and love.
Trip
