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Thread: October Getting/Staying Clean/Sober thread v. To All the Ghouls I've Loved Before

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    #26
    Bluelighter RDP89's Avatar
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    Welcome back jamesBrown. Glad you made the decision to get clean and best of luck on getting through the withdrawal, I can only imagine how horrendous that level of withdrawal must be.
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    #27
    Unfortunately my situation is VERY complicated... which makes tapering/getting on subs(which i've done before and gotten clean) almost impossible.
    In order to get on subs...(long story short).... my family and my pain dr would find out... which would result in my life being flipped upside down. I would probably get kicked out of my pain clinic and my family would be hugely disappointed ... again. I can't have that.

    I actually do have a few sub pills from about 10 years ago when I was on subs for a couple months... ...but most of them have turned into powder bc they break apart easy. And I have no idea how much potency they have lost while sitting around for the past decade.

    My main concern is taking my first dose. I simply can't handle the pain/WD that I need to go thru in order to prevent PW's. My spinal pain is INTENSE 24/7....so i can barely last 8 hours without taking an opiate.

    Given the MASSIVE tolerance I have and the extremely large amount of opioids i've been taking for years, the WD's are beyond intense.

    Although I was hoping I could take some sub earlier than the 24 hr mark since I take short acting meds. I take my fent buccaly so I think/hope I might get away with taking the sub after like 12 hrs. Although I have an extremely difficult time waiting even that long. I start to feel SO HORRIBLE after only 6 hours or so. Im just desperate and confused and I simply don't know what to do.

    I was supposed to start my WD's yesterday but I gave in after only 8 hours bc I couldn't take the pain. I IV'd a shot that came from water soaked with cottons and leftover powder from my previous dilaudid IV's.

    Im ashamed of my weakness. Im ashamed of my lack of willpower. But mostly im scared. I can't bring myself to come clean with the people who love me.
    That's why I'm hoping that the awesome people here on BL could be my support system...to some extent at least.

    I just don't know what to do. I'm lost and I want my life back.

    -jB-
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    #28
    Bluelighter ladyhlove's Avatar
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    jamesbrown, have you researched the Bernese method of sub induction at all? It's an alternative to waiting the 12+ hours for sub induction and works.
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    #29
    Quote Originally Posted by ladyhlove View Post
    jamesbrown, have you researched the Bernese method of sub induction at all? It's an alternative to waiting the 12+ hours for sub induction and works.
    No I've never heard of that. Should I google it or search for it here on BL?
    One issue I have is I do my best to only take meds that I'm already prescribed bc I get drug tested. Lab testing GC/MS(i think? ).... where my docs can see if I have taken heroin(or whatever drug) a LONG time after I took the drug.
    I don't know if the method you're talking about includes taking drugs that could be detected by a lab drug test but if it does I don't know if it would work.
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    #30
    Oh sry... my mind is all over the place right now and I'm extremely depressed.
    I see now that given what you said...I would prob only need suboxone using this method you mentioned.

    FYI.....I do(luckily) have klonopin and literally thousands of 600mg gabapentin pills. Also a few hundred temazepam. Im prescribed these meds so I can use them to help me get clean.
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    #31
    Hi please tell me about the bernese method, have you tried?I stopped my sub 10 days ago and I am doing H every day and I am scared and thinking about trying the bernese method but I need more information about. Please if you have tried get back to me
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    #32
    Quote Originally Posted by want2befree1967 View Post
    Hi please tell me about the bernese method, have you tried?I stopped my sub 10 days ago and I am doing H every day and I am scared and thinking about trying the bernese method but I need more information about. Please if you have tried get back to me
    I just did some research on the bernese method. It turns out that I actually already know about that method I just never had heard it called that.

    I believe(please correct me if I'm wrong) that it basically is a process of taking micro doses of sub while you're still taking your DOC(heroin/oxy/etc) ...and you slowly take less and less of your DOC while continuing to take small doses of sub.
    It's meant to be a way of getting you onto suboxone without having to go thru the ~ 24-48 hours of WD that most people have to deal with before taking their first dose of sub.
    Although I think that you're supposed to lower the amount of heroin(or whatever opioid) you're taking as much as possible b4 starting this process. The less opioids you're taking the better/easier it works.

    If I am mistaken about something or if I left something out please speak up. The more information people have the better.
    Good luck want2befree1967.... stay strong and don't hesitate to seek help/support here on BL. You're welcome to PM me(once you're no longer a greenlighter) if you want to talk. I've dealt with addiction to opioids half of my life and am currently in the process of trying to get clean again....so, like MANY of the members here, I have tons of personal experience going thru what you're going thru right now.

    -jB-
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    #33
    You are absolutelly correct in the way you explained the process, the problem is I have so much fair from the induction and to restart that I have being thinking about having another plan. I startet 6 months ago Subuxone here in Spain ( I am from Spain and live her). I planed to take vacation on Sub 11 days ago. During this days I said to my sef every day "this is the last one" .... tomorrow I go back. Tomorrow tomorrow, we all know this, this is international. I decided to enjoy my self and treat me with heroin lika a imbecil and put my self as dead line 1 week. Last night, like the night before and also that night before I was working out a plan to go back on Sub on the less painless way possible. I investigated the Bernese method, because i was so scared about induction again .... I am also scared about the bernese method because i never tried before. Now my mind has being playing games and this eary morning I came up whit the briliant idea of buying some Methadone, which I already have, also more H to spend the rest of the day to think better ( that?s the excuse again).

    Please help!

    This is my plan. I have stopped subuxone exactrly 11 days ago and I was on just 2 mg. I started whit 6 mg and I reduced on my own during this time because I thought I had a lot of side effects, sleeping arms and legs, swetting arms and legs etc. From wwhat I have read in the USA you take a lot of SUB, maybe down to the quality of drugs of your choice or tothe way work your doctors. Now I am thinking to take for some days Methadon and (5 days max) and stop all: Suboxone and Methadon after those days and try and continuy whit my life. If I cant coup whit I thoufht I could get back on Subuxone after the Methadon is out of my sistem. My consumption of Heroin (Snortet has being of 0.5 gr a day +/-)

    It would be great to hear back from you about my plan or maybe someone creative options or another new plan which could be better.
    How long could I take methadone whit no major problems to not get hoocked, any experience WELCOME!! because dispite of what i wrote belive me or not IWANT2BEFREE d! or maybe not I guess I have a big mess and a lot of fair.
    greetings Silvia
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    #34
    So let me try to get this straight, because then maybe I can actually start getting somewhere in my recovery. Let's say hypothetically that I took my last bit of heroin at night before sleep, say around midnight. If I wait until 1 or 2pm the following day, I can take my first Sub dose (small, like 1mg) and then let the Sub do its job for a few hours. If I feel no relief, take another 1mg dose? Or can I take a small bit of heroin? My main question is how long after that first Sub dose can I safely take the dope??? And then I guess the next il(logical) question is-how soon to take Sub again?!

    thank you and I apologize for my idiocy in this
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    #35
    Senior Moderator
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    My hopes are blighted, my heart is broken, my life a burden, everything around me is sad and mournful; earth has become distasteful to me, and human voices distract me. It is mercy to let me die, for if I live I shall lose my reason and become mad.
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    if you're on such a huge dose you want might to consider a methadone taper instead, you can go to the clinic and keep it a secret that way if $ isn't an issue from what I've put together

    those are huge dosages; i'm sure larger than what I did to myself and I can only imagine how terrible it's going to feel, I'm sorry I don't have anything more helpful to add jb. Take care!
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    #36
    Hey everyone! Sorry I've been such a stranger. Just wanted to let you all know that I'm still hangin' in here. I have good days and bad days, drug-related and otherwise. When everything in my life is fairly stable, I have no problem staying clean and sober. But when nothing seems to be going right, I run right back to whatever crutch I can get my hands on.

    It's probably a good thing that I'm broke right now, because I couldn't afford anything "good" (BAD) even if I wanted to. It's pretty much a couple beers and some Benadryl to help me sleep at night. Still, I need to get back into the sober mindset so that I don't feel compelled to self-medicate when things aren't going well.

    You are always in my thoughts and prayers.

    Peace, Love and Faith,
    Dreamflyer
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    #37
    Hey Dreamflyer!!! Good Lord is it good to see you here!! I miss you dear friend.

    I'm still struggling too DF. I'm on Subutex. My good days far exceed my bad ones - using wise anyway.

    I still have cravings - I have them no matter what I'm on. It's more a matter of getting busy. I'm working on it.

    It's so great to see you here. I really miss everyone. Be well DF. b
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