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  • BDD Moderators: Keif’ Richards | negrogesic

Why is it so hard to stop banging coke

Pumpkinheart

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 9, 2018
Messages
15
2 months ago I tried banging coke for the first time. I was hooked! I haven?t been able to stop since. I read all the science and tech stuff but rarely people talk about how compulsive and about their experience. It?s hell, I love the first couple of hits then it just becomes an obsession. It will make me puke but I won?t stop until all of it is gone. Snorting coke was a social thing and I wouldn?t crave it everyday. This is a whole different monster. The different administration methods are rarely compared or it?s jist between sniffing or smoking crack. I didn?t like smoking.
Anyone been through this? What was your experience?
 
Along with the stronger rush, there's the needle fixation that could be addicting as well.

I went through something similar with meth, and it was addicting as hell. I ended up not being able to hit veins anymore, and went back to snorting. It's not the same at all, but you still get a mild rush.

I'd recommend you try snorting it again, as the duration is longer, and then ease yourself off of it. It's an expensive and nasty habit.
 
Coke is insanely addictive on a psychological level, combo that with iv, arguably the most addictive roa, and you've got an addiction that is going to be incredibly difficult to quit.
 
It's so hard.
I remember the first time was like magic. The down side though, is it's only actually "fun" for a very short time. Like stated above, eventually you'll run out of working veins and end up spending a whole hour just to maaaaaaybe get a little of whatever is left in the syringe. (At least from my experience).

Personally, for me to quit I had to separate myself completely from anything and anyone whom I could party with. Deleted numbers/pages/etc. It's not easy, but it can be done. I tried just smoking it because sniffing just wasn't cutting it. However, that never stopped others from doing it in front of me, and that desire holds strong.
 
So discouraged, the rehab call me two weeks ago on a Wednesday at 2:00 pm to come in the next morning for 28 day inpatient rehab. I was in a binge and went there after a 4 or 5 day bender. I tried my best participated and followed all the rules. I had a day pass on Sunday and as soon as I walked out the door I forgot what I learned and picked up some to use. I stopped myself after and 1.5 hour and went back. My councillor wasn?t there and one of the ?educators? who I liked checked me back in. I lied when he asked me because I was afraid they would kick me out. Later that night I went down at 10:45 to talk to him and say the truth. He left at 10:30. (They even have it documented I went down) I just went to bed and was going to tell my councillor case manager but it was thanksgiving Monday (in Canada) and she wasn?t in. After the 9:00 am morning meeting I was pulled into an office and asked if I brought in syringes they found in the toilette tank. Because I was the only one there who injects (or the only one honest that I inject) I was told everyone was going to be tested so I told them the truth about using the day before on my day pass.
The needles were seriously not mine! They tossed the rooms everyone was laughing with the inspectors except me. The worker threatened me if she gets pricked with a needle it would destroy my life, asked me where and how I?d bring it in if I did. Told me she?s not stupid and should be honest. It was a very stressful time and hearing at lunch everyone saying the jokes about their search. Today Tuesday there were 3 people who tested a ?false positive? for oxy they were open about the results and denied. Today I was asked to leave the rehab because I didn?t follow the day pass plan and wasn?t honest right away. I feel in my heart they think it?s me who brought the needles and that was a part of the reason. I admit I messed up but I was proud I went back and didn?t give up and turn the relapse into a 5 day binge. I was devastated today, that despite that I was still asked to leave, I am scared of myself to be home now, I felt safe there. I was told they arranged a outpatient plan and a possible new inpatient start date. I feel hopeless like they gave up on me.
I feel like the biggest loser like I?m never going to get better. Thoughts?
 
I've never been addicted to coke but with damn near any drug the faster it hits your brain the more addictive, with IV being the fastest. Only ever sniffed coke.
 
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