PuffinMuffins
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2018
- Messages
- 10
I've never had an experience on meth like this, usually it pretty much instantly "cheers me up" regardless of whatever mood I was in before.
today (about 14 hours ago) before my first line is had not by any means had a good day. the night before, my best friend said some things in anger that genuinely really hurt, and i don't tend to get hurt by things he says too easily anymore. he's got a bit of an impulse-control anger problem, nothing physical, just verbal attack outbursts and I've learned to generally not take it too personally because he always apologizes and says he didn't mean it later. I try to understand but this one really got me, I worked the next day and was fighting back tears at work throughout the day which is not normal for me, I'm usually good at compartmentalizing...basically I was just a mess.
some more stressful shit happened later that day that made us communicate and we agreed to stop fighting and let everything go. I wanted to and thought I did, and we did meth together to bring a better end to a really shitty day. he had a perfectly fine time but the whole time I was actually happy a very short period of time. I just felt either irritation at everything he did that usually doesn't bother me, extreme boredom, frustration, or just "not high". it was good meth, left over from stuff I'd done before and had a perfectly good time on.
my only guess is that meth can sometimes be like a "trip" and your experience is dependent on your mood? might be a stupid question but it's the first time I've experienced it and I've done meth while in a bad mood plenty of times. it was weird, whatever I did it just wasn't fun. I couldn't get interested in anything and sat there just trying to think of shit to do half the time. this sucks, meth is the only drug i can do (I no longer allow myself to do opiates due to a previous addiction) that actually does anything for me, I feel betrayed lol.
today (about 14 hours ago) before my first line is had not by any means had a good day. the night before, my best friend said some things in anger that genuinely really hurt, and i don't tend to get hurt by things he says too easily anymore. he's got a bit of an impulse-control anger problem, nothing physical, just verbal attack outbursts and I've learned to generally not take it too personally because he always apologizes and says he didn't mean it later. I try to understand but this one really got me, I worked the next day and was fighting back tears at work throughout the day which is not normal for me, I'm usually good at compartmentalizing...basically I was just a mess.
some more stressful shit happened later that day that made us communicate and we agreed to stop fighting and let everything go. I wanted to and thought I did, and we did meth together to bring a better end to a really shitty day. he had a perfectly fine time but the whole time I was actually happy a very short period of time. I just felt either irritation at everything he did that usually doesn't bother me, extreme boredom, frustration, or just "not high". it was good meth, left over from stuff I'd done before and had a perfectly good time on.
my only guess is that meth can sometimes be like a "trip" and your experience is dependent on your mood? might be a stupid question but it's the first time I've experienced it and I've done meth while in a bad mood plenty of times. it was weird, whatever I did it just wasn't fun. I couldn't get interested in anything and sat there just trying to think of shit to do half the time. this sucks, meth is the only drug i can do (I no longer allow myself to do opiates due to a previous addiction) that actually does anything for me, I feel betrayed lol.
