Cold turkeying after 8 yr opioid/adderall

[Charlieguns]

So, I'm new here... hi, hi everyone. Don't understand the lingo and probably should just look under an already existing thread, so my apologies for being an idiot to begin with but I'll just get right into it...

I'm 18 days post- cold turkeying (not even sure turkeying is a word) an 8 year, at least, prescription opioid and adderall addiction... AWFULNESS... however, the worst physical symptoms have receded except that I seriously have no energy, desire etc etc to leave my bed.

Please help. Can I feel like a normal human ever??

 

[hikfromstik]

Congratulations on 18 days . You are in the post-acute withdrawal stages now (P.A.W.S) . Since you've been using for 8years expect this to continue for a bit . Everyone has a different PAWS duration. Some people get over them in a few weeks while some it can take up to a year plus . Don't let this time frame discourage you from your goal . I think with the adderall+opiates your gonna be less energetic and motivated than with a single drug withdrawal (WD). Drug of choice (doc) is another term used on here. Hang in there and try to eat healthy and exercise. You're brain will heal with time .

 

[dipitch]

Well, where you ever a normal human being? Kind of joking but also not. Why did you start messing with these substances? Sure they are fun, but did you feel like they relieved you from a lot of stress and bad moods?

Some things that help make you feel better almost instantly, but only a little effective by themselves:
-good healthy food (lots of greens, little sugar, healthy fats)
-going outside into the sun
-a little sport if you can stomach it. Anything really that you're up for. Be it even just a squat a day or dancing weirdly to loud music
-maybe some supplements like vitamin d, vitamin b complex, magnesium
-watching comedy shows, listening to new music
-drinking lots of water
-painting stupid stuff or scribbling or writing down things/ ideas/honest thoughts

Stuff that help a few people battling with addiction that also help long term:
-regular exercise
-yoga
-meditation
-therapy
-self help group
-medicaction
-mindfullness
-some kind of spirituality. Anything that makes you feel a little connectivity to the world and people. Be it even the belief system that you try to be kind to people

Stuff like that. Also give yourself time and know that you might crave a lot of the substances within 3 months (and maybe always). So never have them in your house. Cut off contact to dealers/ change doctors. What else....try out new hobbies? And never give up. Even when you might relapse. Stay strong. You are a powerfull godess and I believe in you. Jk abou the godess part but you never know...love you

 

[Charlieguns]

Thank you for the replies!! Ok i'll just be honest... I was actually NEVER normal lol however "normalcy" or the illusion thereof, is actually what made me want to quit for years, so that word keeps appearing in my mind and is actually defined by me currently as: being able to function as an adult human being without any opiates and or adderall or ALWAYS considering the drugs above everything else... if any of that makes sense.

I spent a few days with my sister and nephew at their home across the continent practically, and upon coming home I had no more opiates (which is really my drug of choice I think ive learned from this process) though I did have adderall. After being sick 2 days, I decided I can't keep living like this and i'm wasting my life!!! So I flushed the remaining 7 ads and have had a HELL of a couple weeks but am so proud of myself cuz I was seriously to a point that I thought I was gunna be in the cycle til I died. Not being dramatic.

Sorry for dropping all that on you guys, but I felt good doing so lol

I really really enjoy listening to music now, always have but watching live youtube performances seemed to get me outta my own head for the first couple weeks.

I'm slowly trying to incorporate suggestions etc. Into my life at this point, I just get myself thinking that I don't know what normal is and I don't know where to find it ugh...

That was probably a ramble... apologies lol

 

[Stargazer]

Hi Charlieguns?

You should be very proud of yourself!! What you've accomplished is huge! As you are well aware of -- it's hell to go through.

You stuck to it and got through it. That's no easy feat. You could've gotten some opiates but didn't. Every second, you feel like ending the suffering. So hanging in there tells you alot about your innner strength.

That cycle can (and will and does) go on for years. You did yourself a big favor. You set yourself free.

It's going to take a little time to feel 100%. But, you will. As said above, take good care of yourself. Eat healthy, think healthy, excercise. Try something you've always wanted to try and haven't. Then try something else. Create the life you really want. And deserve. Well done.

 

[Charlieguns]

Thank you 10yearsgone!!! I actually feel really good about myself, for the first time in YEARS, that i was actually able to do it... i kept telling myself for a long long time that i couldn't do it, was stuck like this and would have to be like that forever which was soooo f'in depressing... but psychologically it's a huge lift in my spirits to know i did so of my own free will and wasn't forced into it. I wish i could relate this competently to other addicts because i never knew how not only physically freeing quitting is but psychologically and mentally freeing as well!! Thank you for your kind words!!

 

[ladyhlove]

Wow. That's a lot of clean time, charlie. A hell of a lot more than probably ANY of us here have accomplished (I apologize if that's an incorrect statement, guys!)

Maybe try a different sober community. Refuge recovery is a really cool program that I enjoy. I'm not sure where you live or if its feasible for you to go elsewhere (idk the size of your town or the options available there). Just an option. I'm sure you learned a lot during your previous recovery and I know you haven't forgotten it. Try to focus and remember all you've learned before,

 

[Charlieguns]

Ladyhlove, i've only been off everything for 20 days now, lol... and I WANT AN OPIATE SO FUCKING BADLY but i refuse to give up those days clean to start over again lol... maybe my stubbornness will actually be good for something!!!! Yayy, i never thought of that til right now... thank you for the refuge recovery though, i've never heard of that before. And to answer your question, i of course live out in the middle of nowhere with no options. Not to mention i haven't really looked yet cuz i just have ZERO energy to do anything at this point ugh

 

[AlphaMethylPhenyl]

cold turkey with both those things is a heroic thing, but may not likely lead to any greater success as other method(s). Good luck though.

 

[Charlieguns]

cold turkey with both those things is a heroic thing, but may not likely lead to any greater success as other method(s). Good luck though.

I can see why... there's been so many times that i've thought to myself that i could not be slothing through these past couple of weeks, feeling like a piece of run over trash, had i maybe done a slightly more conventional, medically sound method... i'm actually considering maybe an MAT might still be an option at this point just cuz it's not like my life has improved much by feeling like i can't do anything either, with the major exception of i mentally feel pretty darn good bout being able to stop, but again, that's slowly wearing away too, getting replaced by uselessness... is it even feasible at this point to look into an MAT do you know??

 

[dipitch]

I dont know what MAT is, but I just wanted to tell you that when you crave an opioid you can go take a nice hot bath. It'll instantly relax you and physically it kiiiind of feels like a low level oxy because every nerve ending undergoes a similar rush.

Do you have access to a therapist?

Also I would advice to do anything creative even when you think you aren't that type of person. Just scribble some weird ass shit, write something with the intention of making it bad so as to not have pressure to make it good and then not doing it at all. Take a pen and write or draw anything. Even if it's just a circle. And then write anything next to it. Voil?, you created something. It feels good and you can always do it when bored or waiting or watching tv.

Do you eat ok?