Fuck this world.

[Trev26]

As the title says, FUCK THIS WORLD. fuck my pos family and fuck every scum I have ever encountered in my 25 years of absolute hell on this place. From the crippling debilitating chronic pain I have every day, I literally hate every aspect of this place. Everyone is out for themselves and nobody gives a flying fuck about anyone. I cant even get the medication I need because of this so called opioid epidemic so my PAIN MANAGEMENT doctor recommended antidepressants which have completely made me go off the deep end. HIs other advice was to try to keep my mind off the pain... HOW THE FUCK dO I KEEP MY MIND OFF OF PAIN???

5 of my best friends died in a car accident awhile ago and than my dad dies shortly after. Those are truly the only people I cared about. The fucked up thing is I should've been In that car but I had to go to the bathroom before leaving a party. I told the dude driving (sebastian) if he could give me a ride home and he was supposed to be the DD that night cause I was to fucked up to drive myself, and he said he would but they left anyways. I didnt even care for the guy but the other 5 people in the car I was very close with. Of course one stupid selfish pos kills 6 people that night including himself. That's what I realized lately is that literally everyone is just selfish.

I had a girlfriend I thought I loved and was with her for 3 years but recently found out that she fucked my brother... so now I'm literally at my breaking point. I hate everyone, I hate the government for denying my pain medication and fucking my head up with antidepressants, I hate my family, and hate pretty much everyone.

I'm not religious at all and you know how I know there is no God? Because literally scumbags are rich and faggots. And good people who are actually nice and would go the extra mile for you are now dead or a vegetable. My friends mom who lost her son in the car accident and was the nicest lady I have ever met, had a brain aneurism and now is a vegetable. Yeah that's god's plan right? Give me a fucking break. It's not even like I fucking ask for the lottery or something. I just want to be 50% less pain and apparently that's pretty much like a hail Mary. Yet, I know this pos retard who inherited 2 million dollars and a house is almost at 0 and in perfect health tells me he cant catch a break. Btw I should mention he gambled it all way. Not like some crazy expenses came out of nowhere or anything.

So i guess i just wanted to rant a little before i put a gun to my head. This world is seriously like a joke with no punchline. I'm over it. I give homeless people money or buy them something from McDonald's thinking maybe there's karma but I'm still waiting for 1 fucking thing to go my way and after 25 years, I think its evident that I have overstayed my welcome. And don't even tell me this corny fucking cliches like it'll get better becuae it's just a fucking lie.

IM DONE!!

CHECK PLEASE!

 

[Painful One]

I have been where you are my brother. I understand exactly how you feel.

I just want you to know that I DO CARE!
I have seen you struggling with this chronic pain condition.
You do need to be put on some opiate medication!

Demand it as a human being you have rights!
Get to the hospital and ask for the patient advocate and let them see you like this!
Tell them!
You MUST get some relief! I know!

May help come to you!

I am here if you need to rant, talk, cry, whatever. It is okay.
You are not alone. Just hold on a little longer.
Please go to the hospital and demand to talk to the patient advocates and tell them this!

Please let me know how it goes. We will find you some help!

Where are you located bro?

 

[Painful One]

It is ridiculous they try to put you on anti depressants I know!
They did the same thing to me.
I ended up in the psychiatric ward at the hospital from anti depressants!
They don't work for chronic pain not for the kind you and I have.
Your injuries sound very similar to mine!

I actually finally got the help I needed from the psych ward watching how I act.
It is obvious to anyone who has a brain of any kind that we are suffering with PAIN!

You gotta demand help! NOW!

 

[Mafioso]

Hey man sounds like you are going through a lot... how long ago was the accident that you mentioned?

One of the hard things to accept in life is that nothing is fair, and you'll constantly be reminded of this probably for the rest of your time here. The only thing we can do is to try to make the most of the cards you have been dealt. It's hard to try and bluff your way through the hand when you know the person sitting next to you was dealt pocket aces, but as you point out, pocket aces doesn't mean you'll win. Some people are born into a life a luxury but that doesn't mean life will be all peaches and roses. I forget the exact number but a large percentage of inherited money will not make it past the 3rd generation. This just goes to show that there are many types of wealth, and financial wealth is definitely not the greatest.

I kinda doubt that nothing good has ever happened to you in the 25 yrs of your life. I'm sure a lot of bad has happened, clearly, but in order for you to have lost you must have first had. You lost a lot of good friends, but in order to have lost friends you had to have friends to begin with... wouldn't friends like that be a good thing? It's hard to count it as a blessing when all you feel is misery, but you had to have friendship in order to lose it.

It also seems quite fortunate that you didn't get in the car with your friends that day. I'm sure it doesn't seem fortunate right now, but surely there are some people who count it as a blessing.. people like your mother, siblings, and other family? I know life doesn't seem like a blessing when all you feel is pain and misery, but a lot of life is what we choose to make of it as well. A lot of people make tragedies like this into major turning points in their life. You can use that pain as motivation for change, it doesn't just have to be a burden you forever carry.

Some people never knew a father to miss. I don't get along very well with my dad and it's easy to take him for granted, but the truth is despite all the bullshit he's been there through some tough times which is more than some can say about their dad. It's very sad and unfortunate that your father passed away. I am very sorry to hear that. It's also fortunate that you have memories to miss though at the same time...

I don't believe in god or a higher power to be completely honest. I believe in karma to a degree, but not like most people say. There isn't some omnipotent power watching over bringing justice to the world, or if there is I cant see it. The reason to be a good person isn't so we are rewarded as an individual, it's so we are rewarded as a society. Life is unfair and unforgiving, but that doesn't mean we have to be as people.

 

[Trev26]

I appreciate the speedy replies. I'm in los angels btw.

I know you care, Painful One, as you are usually the first to respond and your kind words are always a bright spot in my day. I am having a spinal fusion on 10/18 and my surgeon said he will be able to prescribe pain meds for up to 3 months after the procedure. At the moment my primary doc gives me 7 percs a week (5-325)which basically does nothing but he's helping me more than my pain management doc who is a complete quack and have dropped him and reported him. My last appointment he convinced me to take these antidepressants, and i mentioned before have made me lose my mind. My whole appointment he didn't even address my pain until the last 2 minutes. All he wanted to talk about was bitcoin, sports betting, and poker. When he found out that my primary doc was giving me my opioids, he flipped out and called him reckless and irresponsible and told me i was going to OD on 7 lol. Aside from the Percocet, I get 30mg roxi on the street which have made me get through the day, but at the same time are very expensive and are draining my bank account.

I know exactly how you feel about the antidepressants. Its honestly mind blowing that this is how they treat people with chronic pain. Im glad you were able to get the help we all desperately need but for every one person who finds a caring and compassionate doctor, there are hundreds of people who don't and are suffering.

 

[Trev26]

Hey mafioso, thanks for the reply.

Its kind of funny you chose to use that poker metaphor because since my injury, I had to quit my job and for the last couple years i have been making my salary off of poker and sports betting so I get what you're saying. My life doesn't revolve around money and I like too think of myself as a pretty easy going guy who doesn't really care about the nicer things in life. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind being rich or buying nice things but at the moment my health is my main priority. The problem is i am physically in pain every day and the last 6 months or so my mental health has been deteriorating at a rapid pace.

I know throughout the years there probably has been some good times in my life but honestly, the last 5 years have been complete shit. When i think, Ok things can't possibly be worse, something bad happens. I went too Vegas last year with some friends and than that guy lights up the concert and we were staying at Mandalay Bay, so i heard 10 minutes straight of people screaming and automatic gun fire. There has been so much shit that has happened too me i feel cursed. Im still dealing with extreme anxiety from the car accident and being in vegas for the massacre. I just wish you could press the off button in this life.

https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/...bank-Crash-Alcohol-Level-Limit-236309091.html

Here is the details of the accident if anyone else in interested.

Thank you bluelight community though for offering your opinions and advise. Its funny people on the internet I've never met are more understanding and helpful than so called "friends" and family I've known for years.

 

[dipitch]

Man I can feel your pain through the internet.

cant you get pain killer off the street? at least you wouldnt kill yourself.

also if you are slightly humourous I would tell you to go on stage and rant. it could be therapeutic for you. you have experienced a lot of shit. maybe you can make other feel better when they listen what you went through and still survived. am actually serious but also know that it's kind of a ridiculous idea. hope you didnt die yet.

 

[NorthernGirl]

Hi Trev.. Your story is such a heartbreaking one to read. You have been through so much in your short time here on earth and my heart goes out to you... Im so sorry to read you lost your friends and experienced such horror while in Vegas...
How difficult and frustrating it must be being in such pain and being constantly denied relief for that pain...
I just wanted you to know that a stranger up here in Canada is thinking of you; rooting for you and sending you peace and love... Keep putting one foot in front of the other; one day at a time.. You are not alone here.
Thinking of you, Clare.

 

[Painful One]

I'm sorry you have had to endure all of that trauma my friend.
I am so sorry that you and I have both been dealt a shit hand in life with the car accident injuries and subsequent chronic fucking pain!

I was very fortunate to finally land on my doctors doorstep! I thank God for him. I honestly know how it is for you and I know I wouldn't make it long without pain medication. It sucks even worse because family and friends just don't understand. How could they?
It never ceases to amaze me just how intense pain can get.

I hope the spinal fusion helps. Let us know how that goes. I pray the surgeon can help you.

I would keep looking for a pain specialist. That is the kind of doctor you need. That is what I have and he is super smart. He somehow knows exactly how much pain medication I need. He gives me no more and no less. I found him through the patient advocates at the hospital. Seriously, the next time you are moaning and writhing in pain go to the emergency room and ask for the patient advocates and tell them exactly what you have told us here. Especially what you said in your first post here.

You are not alone. Please keep us informed of how things are going.

 

[Trev26]

Hey everyone, thanks for all the replies and upbeat positive words!

It has definitely been a long 5 years, mentally and physically. It really helps knowing that there are so many supportive strangers in this community. I have been feeling at an all time low recently, but knowing there are still people who genuinely care has picked me up. My anxiety has been completely out of control recently, probably because of the car accident and vegas shooting were both around the same time (September, then October), so I've had to deal with crippling anxiety, and panic attacks on top of the excruciating back, leg, and nerve pain.as for the poster who mentioned getting street drugs for the pain, I get 30 mg roxicodone from a friend of a friend, but at 30 dollars a pill, you can imagine how much that will add up, but without them, I'd probably would've just killed myself by now from the pain. I have no choice though, as that medication is a necessity for me.

Painful one, I will definitely bring up the patient advocate thing next time I see my doctor. I don't know if it's different than the opioid agreement contract, but I brought that up to my doctor one time and he kind of just brushed it off. I told him I would do anything to get the pain medication, even if that would mean quit smoking marijuana, or bringing the bottle in so they can count the pills, or even drug tests, but he didnt want to give it to me. This was all through my primary doctor so maybe that's why. Like I said before, my pain management doctor is probably the biggest pos in California. He got me hooked on antidepressants and now I'm tapering off, but feeling like complete shit along the way. I need to find a different pain management doc who will actually trust me, and won't let the government scare him.

I also forgot to mention that I cannot take NSAIDs, because of kidney damage.

I'll be 26 in January, which means I'll have to get medical insurance. My mom is a teacher so right now I have the best medical you can get. What insurance do you guys have? And are you happy with it? What would you all recommend?

As always thanks for all the help and upbeat feedback!

Hope you all have a good and pain free day.

 

[Painful One]

The problem is that you are not getting to the right kind of Doctor.
You are mistakenly getting thrown in to the addiction label as we in chronic pain appear as complete drug addicts begging for relief!
Don't bring up the pain medication agreement.

Now, listen, you need to go to the hospital. A large hospital when you are in agonizing pain. Go to the emergency room and tell them you want to speak to a patient advocate. They don't have them at the doctors. You have to get referred to a pain specialist!
The patient advocate people can help you. They had me an appointment within a few hours time and helped me with relief until then.

When we are in so much pain that we cannot figure out how to get help for ourselves and we keep being identified as "drug seekers" etc. because we are but for the reason not being we want to get high but we need them so we don't kill ourselves from the pain and so we can eat and sleep.

You have to get referred to the right Doctor then you will get the right kind of help.

Do you understand?

 

[Trev26]

Ohhh ok, interesting. I didn't know about that. I will definitely bring that up next time.

Since I'm having surgery in about a month, and I'm getting the pills off the street, my pain has been somewhat controlled. Last time I went to the er, I flew to vegas in the morning, but I had to fly back later that day because I was in to much pain to function. They gave me an IV with acetaminophen and asked me about 15 minuets later how I felt. I told them I feel absolutely nothing and was still in excruciating pain, than they gave me a morphine drip, which of course then, helped my pain. They told me they gave me the acetaminophen first without telling me to make sure I wasn't a drug seeker, when it didn't help me, they then knew I was not making it up and gave the morphine.

So basically I have to go the er and ask for the pain advocate, or can I email my doc, and ask him if he can refer me?

I have kaiser, so they are a very large hospital.

Thanks as always.

 

[Painful One]

I did not find my primary care physician to be anymore helpful than yours has been!
He prescribed me a few Percocet too and was not helpful other than that.
So no, don't e mail your doctor and ask.

I found the only way to get help was by going to the hospital emergency room and thank God there was an elderly lady working there who saw me and got me to the patient advocate. Not pain advocate. Patient advocate. Then you tell them about the car accident and what you are going through etc. they could see me sweating off pounds of weight right before them. Moaning, writhing, begging for help. That finally got me to a pain specialist.

That is all I got. I don't know how their idiotic system works. I had liver failure due to Tylenol overdose before I got some help!
I don't want to see that happen to you. Bad things happen when you are living in chronic pain. You will snap one day.

When you are at the hospital for the surgery would be a good time to talk to them and be completely honest. You need some help with this. But remember, it is not a matter of just getting medication. You need the right dosage of medication or it can make things worse. You need the right kind of medication or it can make things worse. As you know by going through the anti depressant bullshit!

Then you have to learn how to manage this with other things also. Meditation, aromatherapy, diet, exercise.
It is a full time job to manage this. As you know.

It should be easier for a person in actual pain to get help but unfortunately, due to the opiate epidemic it is not easy.
Keep trying! Don't give up. If the surgery works that would be great. Don't let yourself just suffer it out for too long though.

Take care my friend. I know this sucks. You are not alone though and there are others who do understand.

 

[Mafioso]

Hey mafioso, thanks for the reply.

Its kind of funny you chose to use that poker metaphor because since my injury, I had to quit my job and for the last couple years i have been making my salary off of poker and sports betting so I get what you're saying. My life doesn't revolve around money and I like too think of myself as a pretty easy going guy who doesn't really care about the nicer things in life. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind being rich or buying nice things but at the moment my health is my main priority. The problem is i am physically in pain every day and the last 6 months or so my mental health has been deteriorating at a rapid pace.

I know throughout the years there probably has been some good times in my life but honestly, the last 5 years have been complete shit. When i think, Ok things can't possibly be worse, something bad happens. I went too Vegas last year with some friends and than that guy lights up the concert and we were staying at Mandalay Bay, so i heard 10 minutes straight of people screaming and automatic gun fire. There has been so much shit that has happened too me i feel cursed. Im still dealing with extreme anxiety from the car accident and being in vegas for the massacre. I just wish you could press the off button in this life.

https://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/...bank-Crash-Alcohol-Level-Limit-236309091.html

Here is the details of the accident if anyone else in interested.

Thank you bluelight community though for offering your opinions and advise. Its funny people on the internet I've never met are more understanding and helpful than so called "friends" and family I've known for years.

wow that is horrific, everyone was so young too. Do you know the girl who survived?

Have you spoken to anyone about your feelings about the accident? It might be kind of exhausting for some friends who don't really know how to handle more extreme emotions. I know some of the traumatic events in my life left me feeling extremely isolated. During the time when you need the most help can be the hardest time to get help. Even when I was involved in church and close friends with the pastor I felt like there was no way I could talk about my dad hitting me and my brother. I had people who would listen but I kind of just assumed they wouldn't know what to say and I didn't even know how to bring it up. And some people, especially younger people who haven't really experienced adversity, will not understand what you are going through and may even be annoyed by it all. Like "why do you keep talking about the same thing, why not just get over it?" type of attitude. Speaking to a trained professional like a counselor or therapist, or other people who have gone through similar things(like people here on BL for instance) can really help you understand and move forward with your emotions. It's ok to feel terrible, but you don't have to feel like that forever. It is possible to change your thinking, attitude and feelings over time. Simple things, like reframing the way you view the accident, can have big implications over time. For instance, rather than viewing it as tragic that it happened to you which will feed a lot of negative feelings, if you can begin to view it as fortunate that you survived a lot more positive will follow. You can never reverse the horror that happened that day, but maybe you can use that event as a catalyst for prevention. Use the day that forever changed your life to change other's life for the better by teaching teens and young adults that driving under the influence can have serious consequences. Maybe join or start a support group for other people who have lost loved ones to dui.

How you turn it around is up to you but don't be afraid to get creative. A little over a year ago I was sitting naked and alone in a padded jail cell. I was in a full psychotic state- hallucinating, completely delusional, and withdrawing from a shit load of drugs, mostly benzos and opioids tho. My grow house just got raided and although I wouldn't find out for another month, I had just lost everything nearly. At that time, I had accepted that I was going to be a drug dealer and drug addict forever and was committed to the life. And everything was over for me I had thought. But hopefully that is just the beginning. I've since decided to go back to school and study mental health and addiction. It's far from a success story and still a lot of ups and downs, having changed my mind a few times even, but the important thing is that I have new hope and new visions of success. I've been opened up to new possibilities that wouldn't have happened had I not faced some adversity.

Hey everyone, thanks for all the replies and upbeat positive words!

It has definitely been a long 5 years, mentally and physically. It really helps knowing that there are so many supportive strangers in this community. I have been feeling at an all time low recently, but knowing there are still people who genuinely care has picked me up. My anxiety has been completely out of control recently, probably because of the car accident and vegas shooting were both around the same time (September, then October), so I've had to deal with crippling anxiety, and panic attacks on top of the excruciating back, leg, and nerve pain.as for the poster who mentioned getting street drugs for the pain, I get 30 mg roxicodone from a friend of a friend, but at 30 dollars a pill, you can imagine how much that will add up, but without them, I'd probably would've just killed myself by now from the pain. I have no choice though, as that medication is a necessity for me.

Painful one, I will definitely bring up the patient advocate thing next time I see my doctor. I don't know if it's different than the opioid agreement contract, but I brought that up to my doctor one time and he kind of just brushed it off. I told him I would do anything to get the pain medication, even if that would mean quit smoking marijuana, or bringing the bottle in so they can count the pills, or even drug tests, but he didnt want to give it to me. This was all through my primary doctor so maybe that's why. Like I said before, my pain management doctor is probably the biggest pos in California. He got me hooked on antidepressants and now I'm tapering off, but feeling like complete shit along the way. I need to find a different pain management doc who will actually trust me, and won't let the government scare him.

I also forgot to mention that I cannot take NSAIDs, because of kidney damage.

I'll be 26 in January, which means I'll have to get medical insurance. My mom is a teacher so right now I have the best medical you can get. What insurance do you guys have? And are you happy with it? What would you all recommend?

As always thanks for all the help and upbeat feedback!

Hope you all have a good and pain free day.

That is pretty crazy about the antidepressants. Honestly, I think it is going to be the new "epidemic". I hear more and more doctors talking about treating chronic pain with antidepressants. Suppossedly they are effective at treating a specific type of neuropathic pain, but I haven't seen any real evidence that would suggest they would be effective at treating your type of pain. I'm not a specialist or an expert either, but that type of information should be available and presented to the public if it exists. Even for depression antidepressants are currently vastly over prescribed in my opinion, touted at "non-addictive/habit forming" despite the fact that people become physical dependent. Also, serious side-effects like "increased suicidal thought" are often careless glanced over. I know two people who tried to kill themselves coming off antidepressants- one of them was successful. Such serious side-effects are something to HIGHLY consider BEFORE taking the medication... I mean imagine if the drugs were presented in an honest way- how many people would take a drug for depression that might make you want to kill yourself? Especially when considered that the drug only does marginally better than the placebo in blind clinical testing. That's insane to me.. having studied pharmacology at a college level and having read all the studies, personally I wouldn't touch them.



But all ranting aside, I think painful one gives some really good advice. If you want additional support while you are tapering off the antidepressant, this is the spot. I think "mental health" has a lot of threads about getting off antidepressants and antipsychotics as well. What antidepressant specifically are you tapering off of?

You seem like a reasonable person to be honest, so I imagine you must be in a great deal of pain to be reaching for such extremes. Honestly, your story brings tears to my eyes. It makes me think back to my early 20s when me and all my friends were partying recklessly. I've wrecked a couple cars because I was trashed, could have killed a couple friends or bystanders. I'm pretty fortunate to have only walked away with a DUI.a

 

[Trev26]

I did not find my primary care physician to be anymore helpful than yours has been!
He prescribed me a few Percocet too and was not helpful other than that.
So no, don't e mail your doctor and ask.

I found the only way to get help was by going to the hospital emergency room and thank God there was an elderly lady working there who saw me and got me to the patient advocate. Not pain advocate. Patient advocate. Then you tell them about the car accident and what you are going through etc. they could see me sweating off pounds of weight right before them. Moaning, writhing, begging for help. That finally got me to a pain specialist.

That is all I got. I don't know how their idiotic system works. I had liver failure due to Tylenol overdose before I got some help!
I don't want to see that happen to you. Bad things happen when you are living in chronic pain. You will snap one day.

When you are at the hospital for the surgery would be a good time to talk to them and be completely honest. You need some help with this. But remember, it is not a matter of just getting medication. You need the right dosage of medication or it can make things worse. You need the right kind of medication or it can make things worse. As you know by going through the anti depressant bullshit!

Then you have to learn how to manage this with other things also. Meditation, aromatherapy, diet, exercise.
It is a full time job to manage this. As you know.

It should be easier for a person in actual pain to get help but unfortunately, due to the opiate epidemic it is not easy.
Keep trying! Don't give up. If the surgery works that would be great. Don't let yourself just suffer it out for too long though.

Take care my friend. I know this sucks. You are not alone though and there are others who do understand.

yeah, that is the truth for sure. I believe i have already snapped, or are in the process of snapping. I took a bunch of pain killers along with a bunch of my valium at the same time, full well knowing of the potential lethal cocktail, unfortunately though, i just threw up a couple times and slept for about 36 hours

 

[Trev26]

wow that is horrific, everyone was so young too. Do you know the girl who survived?

Have you spoken to anyone about your feelings about the accident? It might be kind of exhausting for some friends who don't really know how to handle more extreme emotions. I know some of the traumatic events in my life left me feeling extremely isolated. During the time when you need the most help can be the hardest time to get help. Even when I was involved in church and close friends with the pastor I felt like there was no way I could talk about my dad hitting me and my brother. I had people who would listen but I kind of just assumed they wouldn't know what to say and I didn't even know how to bring it up. And some people, especially younger people who haven't really experienced adversity, will not understand what you are going through and may even be annoyed by it all. Like "why do you keep talking about the same thing, why not just get over it?" type of attitude. Speaking to a trained professional like a counselor or therapist, or other people who have gone through similar things(like people here on BL for instance) can really help you understand and move forward with your emotions. It's ok to feel terrible, but you don't have to feel like that forever. It is possible to change your thinking, attitude and feelings over time. Simple things, like reframing the way you view the accident, can have big implications over time. For instance, rather than viewing it as tragic that it happened to you which will feed a lot of negative feelings, if you can begin to view it as fortunate that you survived a lot more positive will follow. You can never reverse the horror that happened that day, but maybe you can use that event as a catalyst for prevention. Use the day that forever changed your life to change other's life for the better by teaching teens and young adults that driving under the influence can have serious consequences. Maybe join or start a support group for other people who have lost loved ones to dui.

How you turn it around is up to you but don't be afraid to get creative. A little over a year ago I was sitting naked and alone in a padded jail cell. I was in a full psychotic state- hallucinating, completely delusional, and withdrawing from a shit load of drugs, mostly benzos and opioids tho. My grow house just got raided and although I wouldn't find out for another month, I had just lost everything nearly. At that time, I had accepted that I was going to be a drug dealer and drug addict forever and was committed to the life. And everything was over for me I had thought. But hopefully that is just the beginning. I've since decided to go back to school and study mental health and addiction. It's far from a success story and still a lot of ups and downs, having changed my mind a few times even, but the important thing is that I have new hope and new visions of success. I've been opened up to new possibilities that wouldn't have happened had I not faced some adversity.




That is pretty crazy about the antidepressants. Honestly, I think it is going to be the new "epidemic". I hear more and more doctors talking about treating chronic pain with antidepressants. Suppossedly they are effective at treating a specific type of neuropathic pain, but I haven't seen any real evidence that would suggest they would be effective at treating your type of pain. I'm not a specialist or an expert either, but that type of information should be available and presented to the public if it exists. Even for depression antidepressants are currently vastly over prescribed in my opinion, touted at "non-addictive/habit forming" despite the fact that people become physical dependent. Also, serious side-effects like "increased suicidal thought" are often careless glanced over. I know two people who tried to kill themselves coming off antidepressants- one of them was successful. Such serious side-effects are something to HIGHLY consider BEFORE taking the medication... I mean imagine if the drugs were presented in an honest way- how many people would take a drug for depression that might make you want to kill yourself? Especially when considered that the drug only does marginally better than the placebo in blind clinical testing. That's insane to me.. having studied pharmacology at a college level and having read all the studies, personally I wouldn't touch them.



But all ranting aside, I think painful one gives some really good advice. If you want additional support while you are tapering off the antidepressant, this is the spot. I think "mental health" has a lot of threads about getting off antidepressants and antipsychotics as well. What antidepressant specifically are you tapering off of?

You seem like a reasonable person to be honest, so I imagine you must be in a great deal of pain to be reaching for such extremes. Honestly, your story brings tears to my eyes. It makes me think back to my early 20s when me and all my friends were partying recklessly. I've wrecked a couple cars because I was trashed, could have killed a couple friends or bystanders. I'm pretty fortunate to have only walked away with a DUI.a

yeah we were all pretty young, just graduated from high school and enjoying the new freedom i guess you can say. As for the girl Savannah, yes i knew her. We haven't really talked in couple years. Last thing I know was she was moving to northern California too be with family and try to forget that horrific night. I can't say I blame her, I mean would you want to be in a city with that nightmare? What she told me was there were 6 people in the car which only seated 5, and when they crashed she was ejected. She tried too wake up everyone else in the car but they were all unconscious. The hood of the car was on fire, and when the samaritan happened to drive by and assist, she said please try to help my friends but when he pulled her to safety and went back the car exploded and there was nothing he can do. I heard it was such a horrific scene that the first responders had to get therapy after because the scene was just that horrendous.

I tried to go to a psychologist once, but her advice was to read a book and i lost it on her. I told her everything that happened that night, and your advice was to read a fucking book? like, are you serious lady?? You're probably right when it comes to people not wanting to hear about it anymore, and obviously makes them extremely uncomfortable. I don't want to talk about it either, but at the same time, I feel soo guilty and have horrible ptsd. I just want it to end. When I think to myself well I wasn't in that car for a reason, I then start to think and whats the reason? so every day can be filled with anxiety, physical and mental agony and get denied drugs the can allow me to have a productive and active life? But their solution is to load people up on antidepressants that do literally zero for my pain, and make me feel like complete and utter shit. Absolutely ludicrous that they can't find some correlation with antidepressants and increased suicide rates, and people shooting up schools or churches or concerts. I couldn't agree more on your opinions on antidepressants mafioso.

Anyways, thanks for the advice everybody.

 

[Painful One]

Stay close Trev26.

Taper off those anti depressant's very slowly. Those things are poison and the worst possible thing to give people like us.
They don't help for the type of pain we have and make things so much worse.
Let's get you off those and get you to a pain specialist! It is ridiculous that you are having to find pain management relief off the streets!

The medication my doctor has me on is MS Contin (extended relief morphine) 75 mg , 1 mg clonazepam, and 10 mg ambian a day.
This combination keeps me fairly comfortable and not loosing my mind. Being able to sleep and eat. The MS Contin is a wonderful medication. I would highly recommend that choice.

I know exactly how you feel about "why were you left alive? Only to suffer day and night!"

When I finally got put on the above medication I had not slept for a year and was down to 76 pounds!
I was an insurance broker too, a well known one and I called every "pain" doctor in every provider manual in my office! Only to find it was some kind of crazy joke! All the numbers had been disconnected. Some kind of dead end.

Please feel free to pm me anytime. Let's get you the correct help so you can get stabilized and feeling better.

 

[dipitch]

just here to remind you to not kill yourself today

 

[crazyhairman]

get a dog

 

[crazyhairman]

i know it seems stupid but those drs. are right ... cronic pain gets worsts from pain meds ... i had surgery in my back at 16 and have been on meds for roughly ten years , it wasnt untill i was sober for a couple years ( smoked some weed or used cbd for pain) that i noticed the pain and stress started to subside ... belive me i was cussing my drs. along with you but im telling you it will get better .... but you gotta try to keep away from those meds ... my pain is managable now my depression is gone and im calm --- i was on xanax 1 or 2 mg a day for 9 years and hydro,perk,oxy,morph, for 7 years .... i had more pain and depression on those meds than i do now .......

belevie me or not its sience opeiets cause pain during withdraw... benzos cause hyperactiveity and axiety over time


its not easy but ultamently you will be happier without those meds so suffer now and in a year youll say holy fuck that dr. was right

look up my old posts if you dont belive me .... im 30 now and in the best shape and mood of my life .... opiets are the worst for cronic pain ....

but im not going to fight you over it ... you wanna keep doing the same thing and expecting different resulst -then it was nice knowing you--- whats the harm in trying something different -

i took a lot of lsd during my detox- i dont recomend it for everyone but i was in a better mindset after--- if you are serious about ending your life --- i know i put a glock 17 to my temple in 2016 ..... and i cant tell you how thankful i am i didnt pull that triggar .... im sorry you are hurting im sorry your upset but thats not how you wanna go out g .... you have a long road ahead but its fucking worth it