Thread: Another downward spiral..

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    Another downward spiral.. 
    Hi everyone, I have posted briefly on this topic recently and the irony being at that point in time I was tapering my methadone and really felt like I could get off this after 4 years. I began feeling pretty crappy around 14mg and I'm like fuck this come in at 6am and increase my dose.. or feel better. Hmmm what's the junkie going to choose 9/10? It's so unreal how everything can go to hell so quickly over and over and over with this addiction. I decided once I was feeling sick and my dose wasn't lasting me through the day I began taking Xanax willy-nilly and reckless. These clinics usually UA you once a month so you can get away with taking a Xanax every now and then. And I often do. Of course after a month or so I tested positive for Benzos. I'm sure most of you know the dangers of mixing mdone or any opiate and benzos. I'm not an idiot I know this, but personally I haven't had close calls like that though I generally do not combine the 2 trying to get more high. It's really managing my anxiety. At my clinic once you test positive for benzos they UA you once a week and lower your dose by 10% a week (for me 2mg each week.) I'm planning to not take benzos and have a clean UA..then as a result of memory loss from Xanny I miscount how many days I've missed. You can only miss 3 doses then you have to do intake again. I show up this past week thinking I've only missed 3 days and FUCK me it's 4. Your'e out the door. I want to get off of mdone and I've heard many different opinions on the best way to do it. I'm really not into the idea of switching to subs since I've had precipitated W/D. I know it is possible to do but I don't see myself sticking out the sicks until it's safe to take a Sub. Money being another factor, mdone is much more affordable where I live we pay 1-3$ a day if you have county funding. Sub prices have gone down but I don't think I would be able to afford that even still. Okay so I'm planning on going back in to do my intake I'm just scared as shit they're be like "You still testing positive for benzos." I couldn't possibly see being turned away but these circumstances and little different. Any advice? Thanks.

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