Opiate Withdrawal, Day 8

[Sunkrist]

Hi...I have wanted to post here throughout my withdrawal, but chickened out because I wasn't sure I'd stick it out. I'm thrilled to say I'm day 8!! I can remember being on day 1 and feeling the whisperings of impending withdrawals, like the gentle storm gusts you get before it hits. I remember thinking, "ahh, day 8, 9, 10...I'll feel so much better by then if I can make it." Hard to believe I'm here. Still not feeling great, but markedly better. I have an autoimmune disorder, one that results in a lot of joint pain and skin tunneling that may manifest in open sores on my legs, making walking difficult...one of the most painful conditions I've ever experienced. The worst is my hands. I grew up playing piano and need my hands for work. I'm not sure I'd know who I am without the use of my hands. Tramadol would "fix" that, temporarily...I could play piano for HOURS, sometimes all night. I could lift my babies without pain, and I could write, something I want to get back to once I'm a little bit stronger. My health issues skyrocketed after childbirth, and I found myself taking more and more to be able to stay on top of the house, the kids, and my own pain. I'd love to hear your heartfelt stories. I am determined to be done with opiates, and to find other ways to deal with my health issues. These forums have kept me going, kept me honest with myself. You never know what kind of impact your story will have on a struggling user. I want to be an encouragement to anyone struggling. Thanks everyone...your honestly is good medicine.

 

[Larimar]

Great job! I know how hard it is to quit and still have to take care of a house , kids, dinner ?. Sorry you have so much pain, maybe now you can measure your real pain level and find a good way to fix manage your problems . I got hooked on oxy for the energy and good mood it gave me , I got pregnant and had to taper and quit , it was very difficult and I still miss oxy everyday but my baby is more important . Best of luck

 

[Sunkrist]

Thank you, Larimar! It is so hard. I appreciate your thoughtful response.

 

[AllAroundGoodGuy]

Blessed be

OP you are an inspiration to many. Myself included. It's on of the hardest things you'll deal with in your life once you had that feeling. You are an amazing person with so much potential and all this was doing was holding you back. Keep it up and you will be soo much happier. That's why I can never understand why I can see the contrast between the two worlds but STILL want to get high. I hate it. Just don't take any opiates, you don't need them. If anything Kratom, but that can be habit forming too so research would be necessary. I wish you the best in your recovery and continued sobriety.

 

[GetMeOutOfThisCRAP]

Good luck and good job getting past the first week! once the part where you feel like dying everyday is over (for me that was around day 14) there is a plateau part that can mentally be in some ways overwhelming just to warn you, but really the beginning is the worst. You're going to enjoy finding new sensations in life again and it will be like being reborn if you can still keep a good attitude and stay clean. Most ppl get past the beginning and think it's over.. but relearning to live life without opiates is more than I can handle some days

 

[Inc3pti0n]

How do you feel in terms of happyness & well being ? And how was it when dosing & not dosing on opiates, was you happy etc ?

Just asking as i am hoping to taper off mine shortly.

Congrats btw, takes a lot to come off something altogether, especially opiates. You have great willpower and mind.

 

[Sunkrist]

Thank you for your kind words, AllAroundGoodGuy!! You are so correct when you say it's one of the hardest things you'll deal with in your life. I've been hospitalized at my sickest and even THAT didn't compare to withdrawal. I really hate how society thinks of people struggling with addiction because they (the non-addicted) can't understand how much is stacked against those struggling once their brains have been transformed by drugs. But I am working to keep my reward system functioning by all the other things in life: family, creativity (I love songwriting , cooking and music. I'm on day 13 today and I feel great! Well, great compared to day 3 haha. I'm still dragging and have a few minor chills and sweats but am so thankful to have gotten to this day. Thanks so much for commenting...I wish you all the best in your journey as well!

 

[Sunkrist]

Hi GetMeOut! I like your name!! I'm on day 13 today and I actually feel good! Day 11 felt like a step back, symptom-wise, but yesterday and today are much better. You are right about new sensations: once my brain started waking up I started having musical ideas and word phrases and ended up writing lots of poetry and playing piano again in the middle of the night. It was nice!

 

[Sunkrist]

Hi Inc3pti0n! Thanks for taking time to reply to my post. In terms of happiness I feel wonderful! I am loving life without opiates (so far lol). I love how my mind has finally awakened and I'm feeling emotions much more intensely...I missed that on opiates. Seemed like I was kind of numbed to everything. One thing that was a wake up call for me was my mom threw multiple blood clots that ended up in her lungs and was hospitalized in critical condition. I was almost out of my pills and feeling the first whisperings of withdrawal. I wanted to be there for her but didn't want to be sick and in withdrawal. I realized that if she had died, I would have been in withdrawal at her funeral. That was a wake up call. She is ok and doing well and I'm so thankful to realize that I want to be able to be there for my family without worrying about withdrawal or feeling numb. I really love not having to worry about running out!! That is such a liberating feeling. I'm writing poetry and music again and yesterday (day 12) I finally felt like playing with my kids. Do you have a good support system? That has made all the difference for me. I consider the forum posts I've read to be the most encouraging for me. Just reading about someone else's journey out of opiates has been more helpful than I would have thought. I'm on day 13 today and I'm doing great! I finally slept last night but I need to add that I went to see my physician and got a prescription for trazodone. I know the decision to taper and stick to it is a hard one. I failed many times at tapering before this last time. Each time I failed I thought, "am I doomed to always be a SLAVE to opiates? Is this my new life?" I didn't want that statement to be true, but I continued to taper then relapse before finally getting the willpower to really do it. For me, finding a chunk of days where I could get help with the kids and not work was key. There was always an event, a vacation, a family thing, keeping me from getting a line up of days to do it. I wish you all the best in your decision to taper and quit. It is the hardest thing I've ever done...much harder than childbirth haha! But you CAN do it. Don't listen to the statistics because you are more than a statistic. Please keep us posted on how you're doing and when you decide to taper, please write so all of us can encourage you! You are worth it!!!!!

 

[PotatoMan]

this is more of a blog type of post mate. going to close this.

you can open up a thread here