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Early Recovery

jasperkent

Bluelighter
Joined
May 19, 2015
Messages
4,951
Assuming I don't relapse tonight (and I don't think I will) tomorrow marks 90 days of sobriety for me. Let me clarify: that's 90 days with no alcohol, no opiates/opioids, no benzodiazepines, no barbiturates, no amphetamines, no cocaine. I am still using nicotine, caffeine, and a tiny bit of marijuana (a couple puffs every 2 or 3 days). As a chronic relapser, I am probably an expert on what not to do. I've also had periods of sobriety-- 3 years was the longest. I attend AA/NA meetings, but I am by no means a Big Book Thumper. I take what I can use and leave the rest. I enjoy talking & listening to recovering alcoholics/addicts.

For me, the most important thing in recovery is to stay connected with recovering people. On that note, I'd like to hear from anyone and everyone on this invigorating, frustrating, enlightening, terrifying, incredibly complicated path. Share your struggles and triumphs. Share good news, bad news, meh news. If you're still using, that's okay too. I just want to communicate with folks who are seeking a better life...in any way you want to define that.

Welcome!

Peace&Love,
jasper

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." -- Oscar Wilde
 
Hey Jasper. I've been clean from everything for about 21 months. What really helped in my early recovery was to jump in the middle of the NA meetings I was attending - get to know people, do service positions like coffee, set up, greet, generally make myself uncomfortable. I got to meet others who were doing service and became connected with those who had long term clean time and embodied something I wanted out of my own recovery. These are the people that have continued to help me along the way, and openly share their recovery with me. I watch a lot of people keep to themselves or stay in the same circle of guys they meet in treatment or sober house and don't give themselves a chance to see who and what else is out there. I was lucky that I felt desperate enough to open up to others early on and became connected to a few different circles within the rooms.

I eventually got a sponsor, started reading literature and working steps after about six months of attending meetings. The meetings and NA message started making more sense to me when I began really working through what the program has to offer. The meetings and fellowship alone allowed me to remain clean, the growth has come from what I do outside of meetings. I still "take what I can use and leave the rest", but being open-minded meant that I had to at least try all these things I never wanted to do or could easily criticize and tear down like having a sponsor or working steps. Truth being, I was scared to try anything new or listen to another person's suggestions or experience. What if they were wrong? Maybe they are, but at least I can say I tried something different. That's been a huge part of shifting my perspective and learning something new - just doing something for the sake of it, even if it doesn't sound like a good idea or I don't wanna do it.
 
An important part of my own recovery has been staying on my psych meds. When I was in rehab the doc wanted to prescribe Celexa and I resisted him at first telling him I didn't think I was depressed, but he suggested that perhaps I had felt bad for so long that I didn't know what it was to feel good. I've been on it since. When you are feeling better about yourself and the world around you, a lot of the reasons (at least for me) to use or drink were gone. It's always when I stop is when I go off the rails. I've had people get in my face at meetings on the topic of medication and I'm sick of hearing the tired old line at meetings that I've just traded one addiction for another, but it keeps me from drinking and other drug seeking behavior, so I really don't give a shit what other people think. I think the number of people who go to AA or NA that are still secretly drinking or using would surprise most people anyway.
 
Hey Jasper. I've been clean from everything for about 21 months. What really helped in my early recovery was to jump in the middle of the NA meetings I was attending - get to know people, do service positions like coffee, set up, greet, generally make myself uncomfortable. I got to meet others who were doing service and became connected with those who had long term clean time and embodied something I wanted out of my own recovery. These are the people that have continued to help me along the way, and openly share their recovery with me. I watch a lot of people keep to themselves or stay in the same circle of guys they meet in treatment or sober house and don't give themselves a chance to see who and what else is out there. I was lucky that I felt desperate enough to open up to others early on and became connected to a few different circles within the rooms.

I eventually got a sponsor, started reading literature and working steps after about six months of attending meetings. The meetings and NA message started making more sense to me when I began really working through what the program has to offer. The meetings and fellowship alone allowed me to remain clean, the growth has come from what I do outside of meetings. I still "take what I can use and leave the rest", but being open-minded meant that I had to at least try all these things I never wanted to do or could easily criticize and tear down like having a sponsor or working steps. Truth being, I was scared to try anything new or listen to another person's suggestions or experience. What if they were wrong? Maybe they are, but at least I can say I tried something different. That's been a huge part of shifting my perspective and learning something new - just doing something for the sake of it, even if it doesn't sound like a good idea or I don't wanna do it.

I can't put it better than that. I am as involved today as I was at a few weeks clean. Heading to NA world convention next week. Today we celebrate 5 years 11 months and 24 days. The greatest joy is in the internalization of, "how can we help?"
 
I can't put it better than that. I am as involved today as I was at a few weeks clean. Heading to NA world convention next week. Today we celebrate 5 years 11 months and 24 days. The greatest joy is in the internalization of, "how can we help?"
Give a call when you're here. I'll PM you my phone number. I live in Orlando. It would be nice to meet IRL.
 
45 days clean if methadone and really frustrated. Found out today I probably have an underlying condition with my stomach/intestines. I'm waiting on test results Monday. I may feel good a couple of days then back to feeling depressed and weak . I determined to stay away from opiates. I'm using SL as my support . Maybe this feeling will end soon. If not I may consider an SSRI. I have wellbutrin, but it aggravates my WDs . Every drug has a bad side effect . I just want to feel normal. The one thing that would make me feel normal is now off limits . So frustrated!!!!
 
90 Days! Yay!

Thanks to all for responding.

Grinders: Yeah, I am a loner by nature but am trying to open up more and mingle at meetings. I do have a sponsor and I am working the steps; on Step 4 at the moment. You are absolutely right about trying things you haven't tried before. What have we got to lose? As they say at meetings "If you are not satisfied we will refund your misery."

aihfl: People that advise others not to take legitimate psych meds are ignorant and irresponsible. AA/NA folks have helped me a lot, but these groups are not devoid of idiots.

jdfisse: Congrats on your clean time! Have fun at the convention!

hikfromstik: Sorry to hear about your health issues. That always complicates matters. Hope you can get things resolved-- you may have to experiment a bit before you find something suitable.

Best wishes to everyone!

Peace&Love,
jasper

"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." --Mark Twain
 
Logo-90-is-magic-flat.png
Way to go jasper, 90 days, that's so huge!!! Very proud of you my friend!!

Hugs,
Ash.
 
Wow, Ash! What a great message. Thanks!

I've also heard that the chip is red for a reason: DANGER! There may be something to that. I've known several folks who relapsed at or around 90 days. Not me; not this time. Besides, I'm really focused on One Day At A Time. Whoever got up earliest this morning has the most sobriety.

Peace&Love,
jasper

"I can resist anything except temptation." -- Oscar Wilde
 
congrats man!

that's a long list of drugs to abstain from, I rarely hear of people using barbiturates.
 
Captain Heroin: Yeah, it's pretty old school. Not only have I abused barbiturates (phenobarbital and butabarbital decades ago and pentobarbital more recently), but I've OD'd on them twice. The pentobarbital I stole from an animal shelter where I worked. We used it for euthanasia. Brand name: Fatal Plus. Great for a pleasant sedation, but you had to be very very careful with the dosage. One drop too much and it lived up to its name.

Hope everyone is well and happy.

Oh, and for the record... While I have used and abused all those things in the past, my recent struggles have been primarily with alcohol and opioids. Alcohol has been a consistent problem throughout my life. I think I was born alcoholic; I fell in love with my first drink at 12 years old. I've always liked opiates/opioids, too, but only in the last few years got really strung out on them.

Peace&Love,
jasper

"If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you." -- Steven Wright
 
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It?s great to read so many people succeeding. I am as of this moment 14 days clean off opiates (for the 5th time in 3 years) I originally got clean in 2005 after a stint in rehab and stayed clean for almost 10 years then fell off and here I am. I am trying to go back to what I did in 2005 that kept me clean for so long because quite frankly, I can?t do this to my body and brain anymore. I know I have it in me to be successful again, one day at a time. Congrats to everyone on their clean time. Every day we get clean is a gift!
 
LuLu: I should have over 30 years of sobriety, but sadly I don't. I could have about 8 years if I could count up the times in my checkered past: 6 months here, 1 year there, etc... 3 years was my record. They tell me it doesn't work that way. I'm at 94 days. Or, to look at it another way, it's only One Day At A Time so whoever got up earliest this morning has the most sobriety. Anyway, the important thing is that we keep trying. My feeling is that there is always hope as long as we don't give up or die.

Hang in there!

Peace&Love,
jasper

"I love it when a flower or little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the sidewalk. It's so fuckin' heroic." -- George Carlin
 
a month into methadone withdrawal and ive ended up back on heroin as I couldnt stand the depression, weakness, exhaustion and headaches anymore. I am hoping I will only use a bit now and then to help me stay sane. I admire anyone who has managed to stick it out and get properly clean. I thought I would have no trouble as ive been attending groups and getting my head together. but the withdrawal symptoms weere far worse than anticipated and I wasnt as strong as I rhought I was. feeling better now I have a crutch again but I know im walkjng a fine line x
 
alabamabrown: Try to get into a medical detox if you possibly can. They give you subs and wean you off over 2 weeks or so. It's relatively painless and you might learn something while in treatment. Personally, I most likely would have died without going that route.

Hope everyone is well.

Peace&Love,
jasper


"You need a good bedside manner with doctors or you will get nowhere."
― William S. Burroughs
 
Just stopping by to say I'm thinking of you jasper, and I am so proud of you!!!

I hope you're having a good day?

Hugs,
your friend,
Ash.
 
alabamabrown: Try to get into a medical detox if you possibly can. They give you subs and wean you off over 2 weeks or so. It's relatively painless and you might learn something while in treatment. Personally, I most likely would have died without going that route.

Hope everyone is well.

Peace&Love,
jasper


"You need a good bedside manner with doctors or you will get nowhere."
― William S. Burroughs
2 weeks isn't long enough for methadone withdrawal. That's the sucky part of coming off of it . To get through half of the WDs would take 30+days of bupe, then you have to withdraw from that. I have heard rumors that sedated rapid detox with vivitrol works wonders , but $15000 is a big price to pay for the unknown.
 
I have heard rumors that sedated rapid detox with vivitrol works wonders , but $15000 is a big price to pay for the unknown.
Rapid detox is not only expensive, it's potentially dangerous. First of all, going under general anesthesia can be potentially dangerous and probably shouldn't be done unless there are no other medical alternatives, which is not the case with detox. Second, some degree of withdrawal discomfort and craving can potentially last beyond the rapid detox and could result in a return to drug seeking behaviors because once the rapid detox is done, it's done, usually with no psychosocial support. Conventional medication assisted detoxes or ORT programs have much higher success rates. Third, there is no standardized treatment protocol, which, to put it in purely scientific terms, is sketchy as hell.

Here are two scientific papers on the subject:
Anesthesia Assisted vs. Buprenorphine or Clonidine Assisted Heroin Detoxification and Naloxone Induction

Deaths and Severe Adverse Events Associated with Anesthesia Assisted Rapid Opioid Detoxification
 
Hey alabamabrown shoot me a private message. I know of a few places that are in-patient that you could maybe look into contacting.
 
hikfromstik: Yeah, I've detoxed off methadone twice and it does take a while. Seems like the first 2 to 3 weeks were the worst, though.

EPL1: Hi Ash! I'm doing fine. You?

Peace&Love,
jasper


"My father warned me about men and booze but he never said anything about women and cocaine." -- Tallulah Bankhead
 
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