Thank you for the responses guys.
I've thought alot about this.
The realization has stuck with me.
My friend had just given me a ride an hour away in a truck with no power steering , to help transport MY friends stuff whom he hates for good reason. He had lagged earlier and so we left really late. He had work later and neglected to tell me exactly the time we had to be done . So with us leaving way later then I had planned , he says the only way he could get to work on time is if I came with him. (He was supposed to clean this office, only a couple of hours) this pissed me off because he never said anything till then that this was a possibility and it was his fault we left so late. I was in a really bad mood , (my friend never showed up either) after all of the traffic we sat in forever , I was waiting for him to finish the office and realized I should chill out.
I believe being ungrateful has led to selfish thoughts. Which opened the door to unhappiness . And our thoughts / emotions have energy which effects everyone on the planet because we are all connected. IMO
As cheese like as it sounds. Looking on the bright side of things really is worth it . Seeing the good instead of the bbad.After all, reality is what we make it right ?
Some people actually look for the bad and complain there life sucks .
My friend had done alot for me. I had a nice home to go back to. Things weren't perfect but I was ok. I was being selfish because I was ungrateful. I actually told him NO he had to take me home and be late for work ,that it was HIS fault. and he said OK!! (This was at first,after about 5-10 min I told him I'd go with him)
Lately I have felt like a pilot. When depression looms in front of me , or anger , or any negative mindset , I have been able to pull myself out of it. Like I take a second , I become the pilot , pulling up on the wheel / stick or whatever it is called , and pulling the plane up out of a nose dive.
Ive never bothered to do this before. The past 2 months I've also stopped using drugs and drinking daily . So I have to find new ways of thinking to deal with myself.